Only His

by Susan Mallery

  She twisted her fingers together. “I remember when I had the girls. It was Christmas morning and the delivery was difficult. I lost a lot of blood. For a while they weren’t sure I was going to make it. I don’t remember very much except Ralph holding my hand, begging me not to die. I could feel his tears on my skin and I knew I had to stay with him. Because we were a family.”

  She pressed her lips together. “We weren’t allowed to grow old together and that is my one regret. It’s been ten years and I still miss him. I still wish he were here.”

  “I’m not trying to come between you and Ralph,” Max told her.

  “I know. But when you walked into my house, I was so happy.” Tears burned in her eyes. “Happier than I should have been.”

  “You said it yourself. Ralph’s been gone over ten years. Don’t you think it’s okay to be happy? Do you have to spend your life grieving?”

  “I know all this,” she said. “I’ve been in therapy to help me through the stages of grief. I’ve been strong for my children. I’d even convinced myself that it was time for me to find someone of my own. My love for my husband will live on regardless of what I do. Nothing can take that away. But I won’t get married again. I want Ralph to have been the only man I married. He deserves that.”

  He crossed to her, but didn’t touch her. “Denise, I proposed because I thought you would be more comfortable if we were married. You’re the kind of woman who gets married. But I don’t need that to love you. Hell, I’ve loved you for nearly forty years. It’s not going away. I want to be with you and you can define that however you want.”

  “You’re not mad that I won’t marry you?”

  “No.” He touched her face with his fingers. “Love me. Be with me.”

  “That’s enough?”

  “That’s plenty.”

  She flung herself at him. He caught her and pulled her hard against him. Then his mouth was on hers and they were kissing and spinning. Or maybe just the room was spinning. Either way, it was perfect.

  When he finally drew back, he brushed the tears from her cheeks.

  “Promise me something,” he said.

  She nodded.

  “Next time, talk to me. Don’t run.”

  She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm. “I promise. For always, Max.”

  “For always, Denise.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  FRIDAY, NEVADA STEPPED OUT of the bakery, the pink box she carried neatly tied with string. Yes, there were six chocolate cupcakes inside and she was pretty sure she was going to eat them all by herself. But it had been a stressful week and she deserved a sugar rush to make it all seem better.

  The weird part was she didn’t usually eat a lot of sugar. Nor could she point to any particular event in her week and complain. Work was going great. They were going to be blasting in a couple of weeks and she was excited about that. From what she could tell, Cat and Tucker weren’t spending a lot of time together, although she kept reminding herself it wasn’t her business if they were. So the need for cupcakes was inexplicable, but very powerful.

  She turned the corner and nearly ran into a man carrying a pizza box. Her body registered who it was before her brain recognized him.

  “Tucker.”

  He smiled at her. “I called you about a half hour ago, but you weren’t answering.”

  She held up the pink box. “I had an emergency errand to run and forgot my cell phone at home.”

  “I thought you might be out on a hot date.”

  “Do three chocolate cupcakes and three coconut vanilla cupcakes count as a date?”

  “It depends on what you do with them.”

  They seemed to be staring at each other, she thought, rooted in place by forces she couldn’t name.

  “I haven’t seen you much this week,” she murmured. “We’re both on-site at the same time, but in different places.”

  She was out with her crew and he was in the trailer doing whatever it was potential owners of multibillion-dollar companies did.

  “You’ve been busy with Cat,” he reminded her.

  “She’s taking up a lot of my free time. Have you spent any time with her?”

  “Not since the day she arrived.” He sounded pleased as he spoke, as if this were good news.

  “She’s still really beautiful.”

  He shrugged. “Not interested. I’m done with her. It was over years ago.”

  “Oh.”

  Suddenly her shoulders didn’t seem as tight and the evening was a little brighter.

  He held up the pizza box. “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.”

  She laughed. “Sounds good. Let’s go back to my place. I have wine waiting.”

  “Wine and cupcakes. Talk about a party. You’re my kind of girl.”

  Twenty minutes later they were sitting at her kitchen table, pizza on plates, wine in glasses.

  “How’s your mom doing?” he asked between bites.

  “Good. She and Max have worked things out. Apparently he proposed because he thought that’s what she wanted and she freaked out. They’ve talked everything over and are in a committed relationship that won’t end in marriage.” Nevada shook her head. “While I’m thrilled that she’s happy, I never thought this was anything close to a conversation I would be having with my mother.”

  “You are part of a classic American family.”

  She laughed. “I’m not sure about that.” She took a bite of pizza and chewed. After she’d swallowed, she said, “You really haven’t seen Cat?”

  “Nope. No reason to. I’m not sure why she’s in town, but it’s not for me.”

  He sounded cheerful as he spoke. As far as Nevada could tell, there wasn’t even a hint of longing for what had been.

  He poured her more wine. “This is nice. I like your place. Did you remodel?”

  She nodded. “I did most of the work myself. The house was built in the nineteen twenties. The traditional Victorian style didn’t fly with the neighbors, but the original owner was powerful and no one told him no.”

  “A man after my own heart. I like being the guy no one says no to.”

  “You would. In this case, people came to like the house. I’ve loved it from the time I was a kid. Over the years it was sold and turned into a low-rent apartment building. No one took care of it. By the time I bought it, the whole place was trashed. It took me nearly three years to do all the work, but it was worth it.”

  She’d also squeezed every penny she could from the second mortgage she’d used to pay for the materials. Once the remodeling was done, she’d been able to rent out the bottom two apartments. She’d paid off the second mortgage last summer and was now paying down her first. A good feeling, she thought.

  “To your house,” he said, raising his glass.

  She touched hers to his. “Thank you.”

  “Want to show me the rest of it?”

  There was only the third floor, which was her bedroom, the large bath and a study. She was about to say that when she realized Tucker was watching her with an interest that said he wouldn’t mind his pizza getting cold. She went from hungry for food to hungry for something else in the space of a heartbeat.

  He stood and walked around the table, then held out his hand. When she placed her fingers on his palm, he drew her to her feet and pulled her close.

  She went willingly, wanting to feel his strong arms around her. His mouth claimed hers with a kiss that left her breathless.

  He pressed his lips against her cheeks, her nose, the line of her jaw. He trailed his way to her neck, then kissed just below her ear. Goose bumps erupted as he licked the skin there. He moved lower, to her collarbone, then to the V of the long-sleeved shirt she wore. The hands at her waist reached higher.

  Desire poured through her. Hunger grew. She remembered how it had been before, when he’d touched her with his skilled and patient fingers. She remembered the feel of him between her legs, filling her over and over again.

  Sh
e put her right hand over his left and stepped away. Keeping hold of him, she drew him toward the stairs.

  “You wanted to see the upstairs,” she whispered.

  “I did.” He put his free hand on the railing. “Should I stop to admire the workmanship?”

  She laughed. “Maybe later.”

  She led him into her bedroom. It was already dark outside. She flipped on the switch, which illuminated the floor lamp in the corner.

  The room itself was a girly combination of soft fabrics, dozens of pillows and delicate furniture. Her queen-size bed had a carved headboard. The walls were done in pale mauve. It was a woman’s retreat.

  Tucker paused for a second and glanced around. “I like it. It suits you.”

  No one had ever said that before. Even her sisters had been surprised by her decorating choices. In her mind, this room reflected a part of her personality that she kept hidden—sometimes even from herself.

  Tucker toed off his boots, then walked toward her. “Tell me there’s a big claw-foot tub in the bathroom.”

  She smiled. “There is.”

  “You’re my kind of girl.”

  They moved into the bathroom. While he got the bath temperature right, she lit candles. As water poured into the tub, he crossed to her. He kissed her, his tongue plunging inside and circling hers. His hands roamed her body.

  Everywhere he touched grew more and more sensitized. A stroke of his fingers across her hip had her squirming toward home. Fingers down her arm had her wanting more. When his hands finally settled on her breasts, she had to consciously keep from begging.

  He brushed against her tight nipples. Tension surged in her belly, then moved lower. She closed her lips around his tongue and sucked. The fingers at her breasts moved faster.

  “Water,” he murmured as he pulled back.

  She released him reluctantly, knowing the disaster an overflowing tub would cause.

  He turned off the taps, then unbuttoned his shirt. When he’d dropped it on the floor, he went to work on what she was wearing. Her shirt followed his. He unfastened her jeans and tugged them off along with her socks, then quickly removed her bra and panties. He paused to kiss her breasts before taking off the rest of his clothes.

  She stepped into the tub first. The water was warm, lapping against her skin. He stepped in behind her and settled in. She sat in front of him, her back to him.

  “Wait a minute,” she complained. “This isn’t going to work.”

  “It’s going to work just fine,” he whispered against her skin. “Trust me.”

  He pressed his lips to the skin at the nape of her neck. At the same time, he brought his hands around her body and cupped her breasts. The curves were buoyant in the water, her body more sensitized to his touch.

  She closed her eyes and let herself relax against him. Tucker was strong enough to support her, she thought hazily, pleased by the feel of his large erection pressing into her back. Smart enough to know what to do next and plenty willing to take them both on a ride. Very nice qualities in a man.

  He continued to stroke her breasts, paying particular attention to her nipples. Fire licked through her, moving to all the best parts of her body, heating her, causing her to squirm slightly and want just a little bit more. As if he could read her mind, he moved one hand lower, sliding deliberately down her belly until he found his way between her thighs.

  She was already swollen, excited, halfway there. He rediscovered her most sensitive spot, rubbing it with his fingers. She parted her legs and gave herself up to the experience. As he caressed her rhythmically, her breathing quickened. Pleasure grew, muscles tensed.

  “Come for me.”

  He breathed the words in her ear. They were an unexpected jolt that caused her to open her eyes.

  Through the frothy layer of bubbles, she saw his hand pleasing her. Felt what he was doing at the same time. His skin was darker than hers, tanned by his hours outdoors. His hands were large, so masculine—and what he did to her.

  As she watched, her muscles clenched and she knew she was getting closer. He moved faster, drawing her further along. Involuntarily, her eyes closed as she gave herself up to the moment.

  Closer, she thought, focused entirely on the movements between her legs, on the pressure building, the insistent hammering of her heart. Closer. She could see it, right there. Just out of reach. So close…

  She parted her legs a little more and leaned back into him, at the same time pulsing her hips toward his hand. And then she was coming, her release rippling through her, claiming her, making her gasp and cry out.

  “Like that,” he breathed. “Just like that.”

  She shuddered once as the last of her satisfaction faded. But she didn’t relax and enjoy the moment. Instead she sat up, then turned to face him.

  He was grinning.

  “You think you’re redeemed,” she said, still flushed from her orgasm.

  “I know I am.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  She knelt over him, then eased herself onto his arousal. The angle was different from the last time they’d done this, but he went in just as deep. He filled her, stretching her, making her groan.

  She watched his eyes dilate, felt his breath catch. Then he drew her closer and kissed her, his tongue mimicking the movements of their lovemaking.

  She settled her hands on the back of the tub, bracing herself so she could continue to move up and down. Want filled her again, this time more powerful than before. She wanted, needed and was determined to have. She lost herself in the deepness of their kiss, the pushing, filling satisfaction of him inside of her. When he moved his hands to her breasts and touched her there as well, she didn’t know how long she could hold out.

  She wanted more, she thought desperately, nipping at his lips before pushing her tongue into his mouth. This time she wanted all of it. She went faster, deeper, the water sloshing over the edge of the tub.

  More, she thought frantically, her breath coming in gasps. Up and down, each thrust finding that one place inside, rubbing it, drawing her closer.

  Tucker hissed, dropping his hands to her hips. “You’re killing me,” he said, his voice strangled.

  Their eyes locked. He was close. She could see it and feel it. But he was doing his best to hang on.

  “Just a second more,” she begged, still moving up and down, faster and faster until—

  Her release ripped through her like a tornado. She rode him, taking everything he had, all while it seemed that she’d been flung into the universe and swirled around and around. She was vaguely aware of him coming, of his hold on her tightening, then she was looking at him again. Exposing all of herself and staring into the welcoming lightness of Tucker’s soul.

  LATER, AFTER THEY’D USED TOWELS to clean up the water that had poured over the side of the tub and retreated to her bedroom with wine and cupcakes, they sat next to each other on her bed.

  Nevada was doing her best to act normal, as if she became some kind of sex animal all the time and it was no big deal. In truth she felt a little embarrassed by her unrestrained behavior. As if she should explain or apologize. In her head, she knew neither act was required, but for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what she was supposed to say.

  Tucker handed her a chocolate cupcake, then pulled it back at the last second.

  “You risk your life by playing games with a cupcake,” she told him.

  Instead of smiling, he became more serious, his dark eyes staring into hers.

  “You are unexpected.”

  Before she could react to the touching words, he kissed her. A light kiss that seemed to say something more. Something she couldn’t quite decipher.

  He handed her the cupcake, then poured more wine into their glasses.

  “I’m staying the night.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Are you asking or telling?”

  “Telling.”

  “Figures.”

  But she wasn’t complaining, she
thought, as they shifted to lean against the headboard. Somehow this all felt right.

  He reached for the remote and clicked on the TV. “Because I’m such a swell guy, I’ll let you pick.”

  She thought about torturing him with home shopping, but decided the state of her still quivery body deserved a reward.

  “The USC game should still be on,” she told him.

  He turned to her and smiled. “The perfect woman.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “I DIDN’T KNOW there were this many bridal magazines,” Nevada murmured, fingering the stack on the coffee table.

  “Talk about a fascinating industry,” Montana said. “I’ve decided that planning a wedding in four months is going to be a whole lot easier than taking the year all the experts suggest. There’s a lot less time to agonize over every decision.”

  They were in their mother’s family room, with Dakota sprawled on the sofa, Nevada and Montana on the floor and their mother in the wing chair.

  “There are still choices to be made,” Denise announced. “You two need to pick out your dresses. With the location reserved, that’s the next priority.”

  Dakota patted her relatively tiny bump. “I don’t know how huge I’m going to be. Maybe I should wait until after the baby is born. Isn’t being pregnant at my own wedding a little tacky?”

  “No,” Montana told her. “You’re going to be a beautiful bride.”

  Denise put down her pad of paper. “If you want to wait, you can. We can use the lodge for Montana’s wedding and plan something else for you in the spring.” She glanced at Nevada and raised her eyebrows. “Maybe it can be a different double wedding.”

  Nevada raised both her hands. “Don’t even think about it. The closest relationship I have these days is with Cat.”

  While the statement wasn’t completely true, there was no way she was discussing her confusing and apparently ongoing liaison with Tucker.

  They’d had a great time the previous night. Not just the sex, she thought wistfully. The conversation had been just as fun. He made her laugh, which she liked, and when she was around him, she could be herself. Some men were intimidated by what she did for a living—especially when they saw her on a construction site. But Tucker wasn’t like that.