Trouble finding Blondie

by Marten, Mimi

  “I think we are good. What time is it?” Simona asked.

  “4:20 PM…,” Philippe said.

  “Shit! I have to go,” Simona suddenly panicked. “We have to be at the B&B at 6 PM for Andre to have an hour with his family. And I still need to talk to the deco people.”

  “What about?”

  “They need to decorate the pergola first so that the florist and the dining people can do the tables right after.”

  “What are they putting on the pergola?”

  “White lanterns. And some stuff hanging over the table.”

  “I got that. What else?”

  “How are our distinguished guests coming from the golf club without you?”

  “It’s called an Iphone and GPS.”

  “Nice. I deserved that one. Are they going to be ready by 6:30 PM?”

  “They are supposed to be here by 5 PM. I hope no woman needs more than 90 min to get ready.”

  “You may have some issues with the bathrooms. You only have six bathrooms for seven women. That is why I ordered two hairdressers and two makeup artists. If they want them, great. If not, no big deal. Just in case.”

  “You are scary good,” Philippe was smiling.

  “And you have been amazing. From now on, I’ll hire you for all my parties.”

  “You can’t afford me.”

  Simona walked closer and touched his face, looking in his eyes, “I couldn’t have done it without you. Merci.”

  “You are late. You’ll get busted and blow this whole thing up.”

  “Speaking of busted… you got busted for your I-pad and FBI.”

  “I can’t believe he was a big mouth.”

  “Quite the opposite. Ask grandma, she heard it.”

  On her way out, she ran into the decorator, literary bumping into him. He was looking at a precise drawing Simona made for him, showing how she wanted each hanging dropped and where.

  “Aaaah, perfect timing. You need to be done in an hour with all the lanterns and hangings. I hope you are using a staple gun. Otherwise there is no way you can do it.”

  “Yes, we are. Do you have the actual count?”

  “Yes. It’s 33.”

  “So, forty lanterns and thirty three blue butterflies. Light blue dragonflies and crystal diamonds, right?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “I’ll try to come around 6:30 PM. Are you still going to be here?”

  “Yes, Madame.”

  “Merci.”

  ❖ ❖ ❖

  Simona walked in at 4:50 PM. By now, Andre was fully warned not to ask questions or give anyone a hard time. She was beyond late, but managed to get a hold of the filming crew who arrived right when she was leaving. She just asked them to call her phone, and she talked to them on her way home. They received precise instructions to film the set up, prep work, and to be at the B&B at 6 PM to film the family prep and Andre’s surprise. Her brain was spinning in a million different directions until she saw Arye with Francois. “Oh my God! Welcome home! I missed you!”

  Francois was hopping with excitement like the night before for his papa. When Simona saw him, she started hopping and clapping, too. It made everyone laugh until Patricia burst the happy bubble.

  “I can’t do your makeup while Nicky does your hair. You are late, and I’m no magician.”

  “You are right. And I’m very, very sorry. I’ll be out of the shower in five minutes. I promise.” Then she noticed Elise, standing up and turning around, “Wow. Grandma, look at you styling. You outdid yourself, Nicholas.”

  “Well, thank you,” Nicholas blushed a little. “But Patricia is right. Hurry up.”

  “Mom, are you serious? We need to leave so soon?” Arye asked.

  “I’m sorry. I know you just got here, Arye. How about you take your time and you just take my car? We are going to have a drink with Philippe first. But you have to be there by 6:50 PM for dinner.”

  “Thanks, mom. Much better. I feel like a long bath.”

  “That’s not fair,” Andre protested. “How does he get a break, and I have to go?”

  “Because he is not the birthday boy. And you better get ready. Your clothes are in your closet,” Simona frowned at him.

  “Mama, I’m matching Papa, right?” Francois asked.

  “Yes, love. You are going to be his mini-me tonight.”

  “Papa, I have Hugo.”

  “What? What do you have?”

  “Hugo Boss.”

  Andre couldn’t believe his son. Everyone around erupted in laughter.

  “I love this kid,” Nicholas said. “Can I adopt him?” He bent down and picked Francois up. “How about a little haircut before mama gets out of shower?”

  “Yes, cut off my curls, please,” Francois nodded. “I want to be like papa.”

  “Hell no. That’s not what I meant. Your papa is bald,” Nicholas was mortified just by the thought of it.

  “Bald is good. Don’t need a brush.”

  “Kid, you got some logic. But we are not cutting your cute curls.”

  “I don’t want to be cute. I want to be mankind.”

  “You mean manly? You still have time for that. Enjoy being cute.”

  “How about a little trim and some gel?”

  “Yes, Arye uses gel. That’s manly.”

  Nicky smiled with compassion for this little cute, curly man and his logic. Many men would debate before using gel when it came to masculinity, but he couldn’t take another illusion away from him. Simona was surprisingly out of the shower in 5 minutes as promised, ready in Nicky’s chair before he was even finished with the curly, little man. Patricia took Francois to get him dressed into his Hugo. Inside his room, she found the treasure in his closet and realized that it wasn’t just all Hugo. She became determined to break the kid into the fashion world he seemed so infatuated with.

  She was impressed with his ability to remember and focus. He was like a living sponge, and she didn’t have to repeat it more than twice. Proud of her accomplishment and his knowledge, they walked into the living room. Elise sighed with admiration.

  “Wow, you were not kidding. You are a mini-me,” Andre said. Nicholas stopped. Simona turned around to look at them both and nodded with a smile.

  “Nicky, hurry up. We are running out of time,” Patricia was scolding, but still waiting for the big moment.

  “I was wrong, papa. It’s not just Hugo,” Francois said.

  “Let’s see now if your father knows what is he wearing,” Patricia said inquisitively.

  “That’s easy, Patricia. Hugo Boss. I already know,” Andre replied with a smirk.

  “Hugo is just your shirt. What’s the rest?”

  “Is that a trick question?”

  “Francois, you are on. What are you wearing?”

  “I’m wearing Brioni Vanquish suit. Mama said only pants, jacket stays home. Hugo Boss shirt, Giorgio Armani belt and shoes.”

  Francois was so proud of himself, and so was Patricia, giving Francois a big high five. Francois couldn’t help but jump and clap. Everyone else was in complete shock at this kid remembering all the complicated names in such a short time.

  Simona’s hair was finally done. She stood up to kiss her men before getting into Patricia’s chair. Arye asked Nicky for a haircut, and he was trilled to do it. Funky short hair styles were his specialty. Andre was holding his mini-me. They were identical except the eyes and the hair. They both had mesmerizing eyes: Andre’s were a bright blue color, Francois’ bright green. The pants were navy blue with tiny, almost invisible stripes; very slick in an amazing cut. The shirt was a steel cold combination of grey and light blue. The shoes and belt were black matte leather.

  Simona’s makeup was done in 15 minutes. She wouldn’t let Patricia do a full make up on her, and she was rushing off her chair to put on her dress.

  When she walked in, the silence was confirmation that the dress was a success. She was smiling on the inside, but pretended to just be picking up her keys until it w
as obvious that nobody else was moving. She looked up and said, “Either somebody produces a compliment, or let’s go.”

  The room became noisy again with different versions of complimenting on her looks. Francois had a last word, “Mama looks like a fairy. Angel girl.”

  “Yes, she does,” Andre said. “And she is mine.”

  “No, Papa. She is ours.”

  “Haha. I leave for two weeks, and you are becoming territorial? I better watch out.”

  Simona waited until everyone was out of the house to hand Patricia and Nicholas their envelopes. “Thank you, guys. You were amazing. And I’m sure the rest of your staff, as well.”

  “Wait. What is this?” Nicholas asked.

  “Your pay. You sent two people to the chateau and two to the B&B, right?”

  “Yes, but this is too much, Simo.”

  “Look. I figured three hundred for the bosses, a two for each worker. That’s fair, no?”

  “This is not Paris, Simo. We don’t charge this much,” Patricia said.

  “I understand. But this is a very special occasion, and I want to show my appreciation.”

  “Well, you got a make up on me next time,” Patricia said.

  “Thank you, Simo. I owe you a haircut,” Nicholas said.

  “I will happily accept…”

  Simona was hugging them, telling Arye to lock up while handing him the address to the chateau.

  “Mom, how many people altogether?”

  “Magic number 33.”

  “What? Who are all these people?”

  “You’ll see.”

  ❖ ❖ ❖

  When they pulled into the B&B, Andre’s confusion was visible. “This is where you housed Philippe? I thought you said he was staying in a chateau.”

  “No, this is where we are having a drink before going for dinner,” Simona said, trying her best to stay patient.

  Andre thought it was a bizarre choice. Still, he stepped out of the car, pulled Francois with him, and walked in. The house lady came to greet him, wished him happy birthday, and gave him a bottle of cognac. She walked him down to the patio. When he was on his last step, they turned the lights on, and everyone screamed, ‘SURPRISE!’

  Andre almost had a heart attack and slightly dropped Francois. The patio got noisy. Everyone was hugging Andre and his son. Francois was in his element, getting the attention, until he saw Mateas. He ran straight to him. Simona noticed that all the girls had their hair done. Even Monique had her makeup done. She walked over to Simona and said, “Are you kidding me? This royal treatment? You need to stop spoiling us.”

  “I wanted everyone to look their best and to have a good time,” Simona smiled.

  “Looking at your dress, I wouldn’t worry about anybody upstaging you. It’s beautiful. I feel underdressed now.”

  “I brought some extra dresses. Madame Cecilia put them in your room if you’d like to try them on.”

  Monique couldn’t hide her excitement and ran off, blowing kisses to Simona. Then someone grabbed Simona from behind, holding her around her waist, kissing her on the neck.

  “This better be Trouble. Otherwise I will be in trouble with my jealous partner.”

  “Thank you, Blondie… for everything. You got me full on. I had no clue.”

  “Come on. You knew something was up.”

  “Yes, but not this big. Didn’t expect Anton to be here, too.”

  “Margaret would have never forgiven me if she would have been excluded.”

  Before Andre could respond, all the kids were pulling him away. Simona smiled and waved. She rushed upstairs, only to find Monique sitting on a bed in a pile of misery.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “They are all beautiful.”

  “Neither of them fit?”

  “No, they are perfect. I just don’t know which one to pick.”

  Simona grabbed a plumb colored dress with amazing cleavage, a tight torso, all hugging Monique’s curves as a sexy glove.

  “Put it on. We have to go. You are my alibi.”

  “What? Where are we going?” Monique asked.

  “No time to explain. Get flat shoes, and grab your heels to take with you.”

  On the way out, she asked Madame Cecilia to keep everyone busy. They would be back in 20 minutes.

  The drive was only five minutes. Simona pulled in and ran out of the car without any explanation. Monique followed. It was 6:30 PM, and she saw Philippe standing by the bar.

  “Wow, you cleaned up well,” she said as a way of lightening up the stare he was producing while looking at her.

  “Francois wasn’t exaggerating. You do look like an angel girl.”

  “Thank you. I came to check on everything. Philippe, this gorgeous creature with dark hair is my sister-in-law Monique.” Before any of them could exchange a word, she had gone outside again. Simona walked out into a world of magic. The setting was beyond her expectations. The patio turned into a wonderland. Hanging crystals were flicking lights, the dark butterflies looked real, and the light blue dragonflies had crystal grey wings like from a fairy tale. The table was gorgeous, decorated with blue vases, white and gray flower arrangements with a touch of green deco grass. The tablecloth had crystal hangings to keep it straight. A few butterflies and dragonflies landed on the table. They were made of silk and looked very real, just peacefully resting. The silver place settings, white china with silver edges, polished silverware, and spotless glasses were all to Swiss perfection.

  “Madame, satisfied?”

  “Oh, Monsieur Arnaud. It’s fantastic. You and your staff did an amazing job. Merci.”

  “No, no, Madame. Our job didn’t even start yet.”

  “Spoken like a true maitre d’…”

  “Do you have the placement cards?”

  “Yes. But if you don’t mind, I have to make sure they are in order.”

  “Sure, let me help you with one side of the table. It will save you time, and you can just double check.”

  “Mahalo.”

  “What’s that, Madame?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s ‘thank you’ in Hawaiian.”

  “Mahalo? Fabulous. I learned something new today. Mahalo.”

  “I can teach you all kind of words: mahalo, aloha, pakalolo.”

  “I know aloha. What’s pakalolo?”

  “That’s marihuana, Monsieur Arnaud,” she laughed.

  “Madame. You must not make me smile. I have a scary reputation to protect.”

  “I heard. Your secret is safe.”

  Simona looked around the table one more time, then kissed the blushing Monsieur Arnaud, and walked over to Monique and Philippe.

  “Oh, I forgot you two have a language barrier. My apologies. Let’s go.”

  Simona had two more envelopes to hand out. One for the decorator, the other for the florist.

  “You have done an amazing job. You transformed an old patio into a wonderland. I’m very impressed, beyond pleased, and incredibly grateful. Thank you.”

  “Merci for your compliments. But we just delivered your vision. We can’t take credit for that.”

  “Well, I guess we all have done well, and you, Mr. Lantern, were incredibly fast. I was worried there for a while.”

  “I love it when you call me Mr. Lantern.”

  “Oh, are the butterflies on the table extras or part of the 33 count?”

  “The table and above is the 33. We put some extras on the bar and also on some flower arrangements inside. The table was actually the maitre d’s idea.”

  Simona finished the conversation by handing them the envelopes with their names, bowed, and took off again at an impressive speed.

  They were back at the B&B before anyone had a chance to question their absence. She pushed Monique forward and said, “Here is my excuse.”

  Adam’s eyes were bigger than the lanterns hanging from the pergola at the chateau. Mission accomplished.

  “You outdid yourself,” came out of nowhere, and Simona screamed
. Everyone laughed, knowing how easily she was spooked. She was in Andre’s arms, finally relaxed, happy, and ready for a drink.

  “You have been neglecting me. Where is my drink?”

  “Neglecting? I can’t find my woman. She keeps disappearing on me, and it’s like a reoccurring nightmare. From now on, I don’t want you out of my sight. You got that?”

  Andre was squeezing her tighter around her waist.

  “I like the new territorial Trouble.”

  “I noticed I have another competitor,” Andre was smiling, pointing to his mini me who was chatting with grandpa, constantly checking that he wasn’t dirty or wrinkled.

  “We are finally complete. We should take some family pictures,” Andre had the same idea as Simona. Grandpa in the middle, one woman on each side, Anton and Margaret, Adam and Monique, them, and the kids. For one shot Francois demanded he sit on grandpa’s lap. That inspired a picture with grandpa and just the grandkids, and one shot with the father and his three sons. Everyone’s favorite was grandpa having both grandsons in his lap and his own three sons standing behind. Francois and Mateas were looking at each other, feeling all important. All the women were admiring their men.

  Simona walked over to the photographers to make sure that they already had someone at the other location. She was trying to wrap up what turned out to be a full blown photo shoot. Andre refused to let go of Simona’s hand.

  “Am I going to be a prisoner all night long?”

  “And don’t you forget it. You can use your other hand for wine.”

  “Haha. What if I want to hug someone?”

  “Not happening.”

  “Eat?”

  “I’ll feed you.”

  “Ok, oligarch. We should go. Philippe must be nervous.”

  “I forgot about him for a moment. And the answer is no. Not letting go of you, even for Philippe.”

  “Now you are being a total oppressor.”

  “None of that will offend me, quite the opposite. I’ll be proud to imprison you. Did you notice our senior was moved to tears when Francois climbed up on his lap?”

  “Almost moved me to tears, too,” Simona smiled, kissed Andre, thanking God for all her blessings.