Restoring His Heart

by Lorraine Beatty

  “Does she know how you feel?”

  “I don’t think so.” Adam shrugged. “Maybe. She knows I have feelings for her, but I don’t think she knows how much.”

  “You going to tell her?”

  “No.”

  Tom raised his eyebrows. “What if she feels the same?”

  “No, that’s impossible.”

  “With God all things are possible.”

  “It would never work. We’re too different.”

  “How do you know? Have you talked with her about it?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Wasn’t it obvious to Tom of all people? “Because I’m a man under house arrest. And she’s my boss.”

  “I think you’ve moved beyond that, don’t you?”

  “I have no future. Nothing to offer.”

  “Not true. Your future may be uncertain at the moment, but you have a great deal to offer, Adam.” Tom rested his forearms on his knees, leaning closer. “I know you think in keeping silent you’re sparing her heart, but you’re only hurting her more.”

  “What do I do?”

  “Tell her the truth. Admit your feelings and your concerns and let her decide what she wants to do with that information. Then work it out together. The biggest mistake people make is thinking we know what’s best for someone else. It takes two to build and maintain a relationship. Talking. Compromising. Listening to what the other wants and needs. It’s worked for me and her mother for over forty years now.”

  Adam stood and paced. “It’s all so messed up. One minute I want to hold her like she’s a fragile piece of glass. The next I want to lay down my life to keep her safe. If this is love, I don’t want it.” He realized who he was talking to and stood and walked to the edge of the porch, putting some distance between them. “Sorry. You’re her father. I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff.”

  “I’m the perfect one to tell. I’ve loved her more and longer than you. And I want her to be happy.”

  “That’s what I want, too, but I’m not sure I’m the one to do that. How do I know it’s love and not just some weird fascination that’ll fade away?”

  Tom rose and came to his side, laying a hand on his shoulder. “When your first and constant desire is for her happiness and not your own, that’s love. Then you give it all over to the Lord. The love. The fears. The expectations and doubts. He’ll work it all out.”

  Adam remained on the porch a long while, thinking about Tom’s advice. The rain had died down and his hope had started to rise. Tom had put so many things into perspective. He owed the man so much. He’d never be able to repay his kindness, his friendship or his guidance. He felt at peace. His soul was right with God. His body was strong from physical labor and his heart was overflowing with love.

  Tom had counseled him to trust the Lord to work things out between him and Laura. All that he really wanted was for Laura to achieve her goal—the gazebo done for the festival. Nothing else mattered.

  *

  Reporting to work the next morning didn’t feel right. McKinney had picked him up and driven to the gazebo in half the time Laura took. Without Laura working at his side, he truly felt as if he were serving a sentence. He’d welcomed the chance to take on more responsibility to help her, but now that he was actually faced with the reality, he didn’t like the feeling. The gazebo was Laura’s pride and joy. To work on it without her seemed disrespectful.

  Adam shot the last nail into the last bench seat and straightened. The clouds were casting a dreary pall on the day. It suited his mood. Still, when he looked at the work he’d accomplished so far, he knew a sense of satisfaction. If someone would have told him a few weeks ago that he’d enjoy rebuilding an old gazebo, he’d have called them crazy.

  “Not bad. You may have a future in this.”

  “Thanks.” Adam stood, taking the statement from McKinney at face value. They’d barely spoken to each other all day except to exchange information or instruction. “I may need you as a reference soon.”

  “What?” Shaw frowned.

  “Never mind.” Adam hadn’t made up his mind about the man yet. He couldn’t get a solid read on him. He worked quietly, totally focused on his task. He hadn’t displayed any desire to talk or joke or even complain. Adam had decided it was a personal grudge against him. One part irritation that he had to help the guy who damaged the gazebo, and one part desire to stand in the gap as protector for Laura.

  He had a lot to think about, mainly what he would do when his deadline passed tomorrow and he wasn’t in Atlanta. There were other things on his mind, too. “Have you heard from Laura this afternoon?” Today was the first time since arriving in Dover that he missed his cell phone. He wished he could call and check on her, hear her voice.

  “Yeah,” Shaw replied.

  “How’s she doing?”

  Shaw studied him a moment before answering. “Fine.” Shaw dropped his hammer into the loop on his tool belt and set his hands on his hips, pinning him with steely navy blue eyes. “I’ve worked for a lot of contractors in the South. LC is the best.”

  “I’m not surprised. She can be scary.” Adam chuckled, attempting to lighten what he knew was a looming confrontation.

  “She’s tough, but she’s fair and she’s got a heart for people. That’s what makes the difference.”

  “I agree.”

  “Look, Holbrook, I’m going to put it right out there so there’s no misunderstanding. LC is a special lady. She deserves someone just as special.”

  Adam set his jaw. “You volunteering?” Something dark and ominous passed across the foreman’s eyes. He straightened and took a step toward him.

  “I work for her. She’s a friend. I don’t want to see her make a mistake she’ll regret for the rest of her life.”

  “I agree.” Someone better than you. Shaw McKinney hadn’t said the words, but Adam had heard them nonetheless. Someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved. He had no clue how to do that. He loved her with everything he had, but it could never be enough. She needed someone who understood love, how to give it and how to receive it. He couldn’t risk letting her down. She’d already been hurt too much.

  He turned his attention back to his work, trying to ignore the knife in his heart. McKinney was right. It was time to be realistic. His sentence was almost up. His future likely gone. He wasn’t cut out for family life. All he wanted right now was to give her the thing she wanted most. He’d finish her little gazebo, then be on his way.

  *

  “Please, Lord, make the rain stop.” Laura allowed the curtain at her kitchen window to drop back into place and reached for her cup of coffee. Another day of on-and-off showers. Thankfully, the forecast for tomorrow and through the weekend was good, so the Founder’s Day activities would go on as planned under sunny skies and pleasant temperatures. But it might happen without the historic gazebo.

  The old cedar shingles should have been delivered to the job site around noon, but that left only this afternoon and tomorrow morning to get the roof finished. And the cupola still had to be installed. As much as she hated failing in her job to restore the gazebo, she hated failing Adam more. His deadline had come and gone. His world had changed forever. She’d wanted so much for him to make it home. It was important to him and he was important to her. Very important.

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, she struggled with her newly discovered feelings. She loved Adam Holbrook. She’d spent the whole night trying to pinpoint the moment she’d lost the fight and fallen in love with him. She’d barely slept. Her head knew full well he was the wrong man to love. He was a rootless adventurer, she was a stay-at-home family kind of girl. But her heart saw a man alone, who yearned for roots and a family. A man who’d reconnected with his faith, who had met a challenge with determination. A man who had learned the inner satisfaction and peace of service to others. A man worthy of love.

  Her heart wanted him to stay here. She wanted him to be part of her life in
Dover, but she wasn’t a fool. She’d tried fitting into Ted’s life and was met with disaster. She couldn’t ask Adam to try to fit into a world he knew nothing about.

  Laura exhaled in frustration and went in search of her keys. She couldn’t stay in this house another minute. She had to know how things were going at the gazebo. She had to know how Adam was doing and see for herself he was all right. A few minutes later she pulled her truck to the curb in front of the gazebo and turned off the engine. Her gaze searched out Adam. He was bent over the workbench. His posture spoke of his intense concentration and her heart swelled with pride. And love.

  He didn’t look up as she came near. She noticed the bundles of shingles, a few of which were already placed on the scaffold. Finally, the end of the project was in sight. Adam turned and stared at her, his gaze cool and indifferent.

  “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be driving yet.”

  “I’m fine. I wanted to make sure the shingles arrived.”

  “There’re here. Go home.”

  Laura stared at his stiff jaw, the tense angle of his shoulders. “What about you? I wanted to know how you were.”

  “I’m working.”

  “I meant the meeting. Your deadline, I wanted to tell you…”

  “It’s done. Go home.”

  Something was wrong. He must be devastated and trying to hide it from her. She reached out and touched his arm. He jerked it away, sending a dark glare in her direction.

  “Go home, Laura. I have work to do.”

  She swallowed her hurt feelings, trying to find her boss facade to duck behind for protection. “You’ve done more than necessary, Adam.” A light rain started to fall and she hurried into the gazebo to keep dry. “It’s raining.”

  Adam started toward the scaffold with the nail gun. “So? Is there a reason why the shingles can’t be put on during the rain? Will they melt or something?”

  “No, but it’s dangerous. The roof will be slippery.”

  Adam climbed up onto the scaffold. “It has to be done. You can’t. That leaves me.”

  Laura shook her head. “At least wait until the rain stops.” He stared down at her, his green eyes dark and angry.

  “Don’t you think I can do this?”

  “Yes, of course, but…”

  “Then go home and leave me be.”

  Tears sprung in her eyes. Her heart burned. She started out of the gazebo, noticing the rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started. Shaw took her arm as she came down the steps, steering her toward the fence. He unhooked it.

  “We’ve got this, boss. Go on. Get out of here.”

  “I just want to help. This is my responsibility after all.”

  “We’ll be done by noon tomorrow. You have my word.”

  “He shouldn’t be up on that slippery roof. You know how dangerous that is.”

  Shaw leaned in, his dark blue eyes capturing her full attention. “You heard the man. Go home. Let him do what he has to do.”

  *

  The fist in Adam’s gut had grown larger every minute since Laura had left. He’d watched her drive away, knowing he’d hurt her, and knowing it was for her own good. She’d understand one day. He needed to finish this job on his own. Having the gazebo done in time for the festival was Laura’s dream. And he was determined to make it happen.

  He was officially cut off. He’d tried to call his father several times this week and had left messages but gotten no response. That bothered him more than the loss of his trust fund. He’d come to understand that he shared equal guilt in the strained relationship with his father. He wanted to go home and try and correct that if possible. Losing Laura, however, was another matter entirely. He placed the nail gun against the old cedar and pulled the trigger. He’d prayed all night, asking for some reason why the Lord had revealed a love for Laura only to deny him the fulfillment of that love.

  He placed another shingle and nailed it in place. The gazebo was important to her, to the town. In the past week, signs for the festival had started popping up everywhere. Huge banners on the light posts, signs in windows, flyers. All of which was driving him to complete his task on time.

  He’d found himself triple checking his measurements, taking extra care with his work. Somewhere he’d begun to compare the old craftsmanship in the gazebo with the work he was doing alongside of it. Because of Laura’s love and dedication, the wood in the repaired section was nearly a perfect match for the old. The old meshing with the new.

  It could be a statement about his own life. The old Adam, consumed with self, running after something that would give him a reason to exist. The man he was today was so very different. His first thoughts now were for Laura and what would make her happy. According to Tom, that was love. But theirs was a love with no future. Wasn’t it?

  *

  Laura curled up in the corner of her sofa, cradling the phone to her ear, while wiping tears from her eyes. “Mom, he lost everything today. I tried so hard to finish early. It’s all my fault.”

  “Nonsense. You did everything you could. I’m sure Adam understands that.”

  “I don’t know. He’s changed. Something happened. We were getting close, then today he acted as if he didn’t want me anywhere near him.”

  “He was probably upset, Laura. This must have been a difficult day for him.”

  “I guess. Or maybe he’s just now showing his true colors. He was probably paying attention to me hoping to get out of his sentence early. Then when I couldn’t come through for him, he realized there was no reason to play nice.”

  “Laura, do you really believe that?”

  “No.” She sagged deeper into her sofa, hugging Wally to her side for comfort. “But he was so distant, so angry today. It scared me. I don’t understand.”

  “He’s been like that here, too. Ever since your accident at the house. I assumed he was worried about you, but he’s been withdrawing more each day. I asked your dad about it, but he wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  Laura wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. “He’ll be leaving in a few days. His sentence is over on Friday.”

  “And you were hoping he’d stay?”

  She nodded. “Stupid, huh? He told me from the beginning that he could never live in a place like Dover.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I think he’s come to like our little town.”

  “Not enough. He’s turned all his energy toward finishing the gazebo. He’s working like a madman. Even Shaw made me leave him alone. It scares me.”

  “He knows how much the gazebo means to you, sweetheart. He’s probably wanting to get it done in time. That’s all.”

  Was that it? Was his fierce determination because of the festival or because it was important to her?

  “Do you love him?”

  Laura froze. She’d only acknowledged her feelings last night. How had her mother guessed? No use in pretending. Her mother could read her like a book. “Yes. Crazy, isn’t it? I made a big mistake with a rich guy once before. You’d think I’d learned my lesson.”

  “Adam isn’t Ted, Laura. Anyone can see that. Yes, you made a mistake before, but I don’t think loving Adam would be one. I don’t know Adam well, but he strikes me as a man who would find strong emotions very difficult to process. Particularly those of loss and love. Maybe he’s afraid he’ll fail you.”

  “I don’t care if the gazebo is done or not. The festival will go on regardless.”

  “I’m not talking about the gazebo. Maybe he’s afraid he can’t be the man you need him to be.”

  Was that possible? None of it made sense. There were so many things to sort through and so little time left to do that. Adam would be gone from her life in a matter of days. “What do I do, Mom?”

  “Tell him how you feel. You might not get another chance.”

  Laura thought about her mother’s advice as she tried to sleep that night. Should she tell Adam she loved him? What if he rejected her? But on the other hand, what if she was missing her
chance at happiness because she was hanging too tightly on to her fear of the past? She’d seen enough with her own eyes to know that Adam was a changed man. She also knew he was scared. Scared of his feelings and his emotions.

  Lord, I need some wisdom and clarity. I don’t know what to do.

  *

  Adam cut the wire binding on the shingles and started the last row. Three hours later, he stood back and scanned the completed roof critically. Officially, his work was done. All that remained was to replace the cupola. The crane would be here in a few hours to lift the large decorative cap into place.

  Down below, he could hear Shaw working diligently on all the detailed finish work. He’d made it. The gazebo would be ready in time for the Founder’s Day celebration on Saturday. The painters would come first thing in the morning along with the landscapers. By the end of the day tomorrow, everything would be back the way it should be. Laura’s goal had been achieved. Dover would carry on with its tradition intact.

  He’d kept his promise to Laura and himself that he would complete his job. He’d wanted to prove to her that he could be counted on, that he could accomplish something important besides having a good time.

  He turned his back, sensing a weight lift from his shoulders. He’d lost a lot this last month. His inheritance. Laura. But he’d also lost his self-centered attitude. His pride. His sense of entitlement. In its place he’d found his faith and the God he’d forgotten. He’d found compassion and the satisfaction of doing for others. It was time to go home and try once more to set things straight with his dad.

  Adam picked up the nail gun and the few remaining cypress shingles on the scaffold. He reached for the rail and froze. A deep sense of dread filled his heart. Once he stepped off the scaffold, his time in Dover would be over. Officially, not until tomorrow morning, but in every way that mattered, it was over now.

  He’d never see Laura again.

  *

  Adam signed his name and took a deep breath. It was done. He was a free man again. He slipped his wallet into his pocket, the familiar weight bringing a smile to his face. He scooped up the rest of his personal belongings and turned to face Tom Durrant. He’d been kind enough to bring him to the police station this morning to be processed.