by Anna Antonia
I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
The workday felt longer than normal, but eventually the floor emptied out by the time it was 7:00 pm. I quadruple-checked all my work for the evening, having already done that with my earlier tasks, and sent them off to the appropriate staff, including Gavin.
I was about to gather my things and head out when I stopped abruptly. What was I doing?
Running away. Duh. And you’ll keep running if you know what’s good for you.
This couldn’t continue.
I’d already let things go too far by being passive. Passivity was only helping myself. I was Gavin’s PA and I wasn’t doing my best by avoiding him in this manner.
What would Caroline do?
Well, Caroline probably wouldn’t have let herself crush on her boss for starters. Other than that, she’d probably talk to Gavin and see if there was anything she could do for him.
I stood up and stalked to his office door before I could talk myself out of my plan. As usual, Gavin was seated at his desk, attention focused solely on his computer screen. Every detail was as perfectly fresh as it was this morning with the exception of his jaw. Whiskers darkened the strong lines. He looked incredibly male and incredibly intimidating.
The effect was doing nothing for my inappropriate feelings. Unbidden, thoughts of Gavin kissing and scraping the tender skin of my inner thighs singed my imagination.
“Gavin?” My voice came out harder than I wanted it to.
He didn’t look up from his screen. He clearly heard me which meant he obviously didn’t want to answer. Fine. I didn’t need him to talk. I just needed him to listen.
“Gavin, I’d like to talk to you about this week.”
His broad shoulders stiffened beneath the charcoal dress shirt. He still didn’t look away from the screen but there was no doubt I had his complete attention.
I lost a bit of confidence now that the moment was upon me. I reminded myself to be courteous, helpful, and gentle in the way I imagined Caroline was. Although I’d only spoken to her once on the phone, her angelic tone radiated sweetness and kindness.
She was a perfect PA and I needed to follow her lead.
“What has been the issue with you this week in regards to my performance?”
EIGHT
Fuck me!
Where did that come from? That wasn’t anything at all like it was supposed to be!
Courteous. Helpful. Gentle.
Not abrupt. Challenging. Rude.
Gavin finally turned away from his screen. A scowl took hold of his aloof expression.
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve obviously had a problem with me this week, Gavin, and I believe I deserve an explanation of what you find so lacking in my performance.”
Oh my God! Where was this coming from? Worse, why couldn’t I stop?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Paige.”
“The silent treatment isn’t productive.”
He leaned back in his chair. The creaking leather registered as an ominous sound in my ears.
“I discussed this with you when I hired you. I can’t expect to have to babysit your feelings in this office, Paige. Once was enough, don’t you think?”
His words had the power of a slap.
Unfair as it may have been, I expected more out of Gavin. He was purposely trying to provoke me into backing down. I’d experienced enough of that to know—courtesy of my father and later boarding school.
Submit or not.
Do or die.
“I also discussed with you when I accepted your employment that I would tell you when you were out of line with me. You’re out of line, Gavin. I am here to help you while you run your business. I can’t do my job properly when you don’t even acknowledge my presence.
“It doesn’t help me. It certainly doesn’t help you. Now, what do you find so onerous about my work that you need to close me out?”
Fuck me twice over.
Welp, it was good while it lasted. I’ve always wanted to visit Prague. I can probably fly out tomorrow and put this whole episode behind me. Far, far behind me.
Gavin got up and rounded the desk. He stood there, arms crossed, towering over me. I felt awfully small. My heels were hardly a match to bridge even half the distance.
It was a power move. No doubt about it.
“You’re holding an awfully high opinion of yourself, Paige, to think I won’t just come out and tell you if I have a problem with your work. Let’s disabuse you of that notion right now. I don’t have a problem with your work.”
I mirrored his position and crossed my arms.
“That’s good to hear.”
“I’m not finished.”
I didn’t say anything else, but I knew what was coming next wasn’t going to be good or something I really wanted to hear.
“However, I do have a problem with working with someone who was so quick to bail on me when things went a little wrong. That tells me you can’t be trusted to stick it through when things get tough. Our conversation here only confirms it.”
“That’s hardly—”
Gavin held up his hand. I immediately cut my words off.
“So tell me, Paige, are you ready to pack your things now? Is that the point of this little confrontation? Or are you going to leave me a note and skulk out of here?”
Although his tone was, at least on the surface, normal, I could hear something old and dank underlying each word.
Distrust. Disappointment. Pain.
I heard the notes, subtle though they may have been, because I lived with them each and every waking minute.
What could’ve hurt him so much? He had everything—gorgeous looks, money, family…
My breath caught in my throat. His mother. Melissa. She was the cause of it.
How could I have been so dense?
As someone who’d become one with pain a long time ago, I nearly threw my arms around him out of empathy. I wanted to whisper in his ear I would never do to him what Melissa had done. But I wasn’t insane enough to give into that dangerous temptation.
Not only would he probably fire me for real, but he might have me arrested for assault.
And if he didn’t do any of those things, Gavin would want to know why I decided to hug him as if I had a right to do it. Considering how out of control I’d been lately, I’d probably blab about everything—including who I really was and who Gavin unofficially was to me.
That would definitely be the end of my working relationship with Axis 3.
What could I do?
Pretend as if I didn’t understand why he chose the words he did while my heart continued to break for him.
“No, no skulking out for me. At least not for the foreseeable future, Gavin. Now I might tell you to take this job and shove it if you continue to keep me from doing what you hired me to do.”
Gavin didn’t appear the least bit moved or abashed by my statement.
“I hired you to make my life easier. Not complicate it.”
“I agreed to work for you for the same reason.”
“I’m not the one starting an argument.”
“Neither am I.”
“Then what do you call this?”
“A clarification of duty and the relationship stemming from that duty.”
Gavin cocked his head. “What the hell does that even mean?”
“It means stop being a jerk to me and communicate what you want.”
“I just did.”
“All right. You want to count on me. Fair enough. I want to count on you too.”
My words definitely offended him if his wintry gaze was anything to go by.
“Explain.”
Just the one word was enough to drive a shiver down my spine. Not out of fear either. I never suspected I had a taste for danger.
“I want to know if you have a problem with me. Directly. Don’t ignore me as punishment.”
“Come again?”
Gavin appear
ed baffled and insulted at the same time. I definitely wasn’t helping my cause here.
“You’re punishing me for my mistake on Friday. I get it. I messed up big time. But if you regret not firing me then tell me now. Otherwise—”
Gavin took two steps towards me. Mere inches separated us. “Wait a minute. I don’t regret not firing you. That’s not what this is about.”
Deflated and relieved, I lost the tenseness in my shoulders.
“It’s not?”
“No. It’s not. The only person who’s thinking about that is you.”
“Then what is it?”
Gavin studied me in silence as if I didn’t ask him a question. It went on for many uncomfortable moments. His bright gaze was like a physical thing, probing me for answers to questions he didn’t ask.
At least not any I could understand.
“Why is this important to you? Is it because my silence makes you uncomfortable?”
“You know it does. That’s why you’re doing it.”
Oops. Once again I shouldn’t have spoken so bluntly. I had to get this mouth/brain thing under control. Fast.
“You’re right.” Gavin let out an impatient breath. “I’ve ignored you on purpose.”
Panic opened the gate on my speech. It lost its measured tone and quickened in cadence.
“Why? Is it because I let you down? If so, I’m sorry.”
“Paige.”
“I’m not normally so sloppy. I just got so comfortable...” I almost said “around you” but substituted it instead with “being here and I made a terrible mistake. I understand why you’d be concerned that I’d repeat it again. I don’t blame you at all. Honest.”
“Paige.”
I just couldn’t stop talking. Each word tumbling out of my mouth seemed to drag ten more behind it.
“I swear to you, Gavin, I’ve been going over my work several times to make sure it’s flawless. I promise you I’m telling you the truth. I’m also going to promise it won’t happen again. I swear it.”
Gavin stepped forward and placed one finger across my mouth. “Paige, would you be quiet for more than a second?”
NINE
Wide-eyed, I immediately stopped talking.
There was hardly any space between us now. If I took a deep breath, my breasts would press against him. Wildly, I wanted to do just that.
I wanted to do more.
Apparently satisfied I’d hold my peace, Gavin ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t give a damn about your little mistake. Hush, I said.”
I snapped my mouth closed again.
Gavin gave me an impatient narrow-eyed stare before continuing.
“It was a little mistake, Paige. Nothing big and certainly nothing for you to pay penance for. It’s just...the reason why I’ve been avoiding you is…damn!”
My lips ached to move. I kept my silence, but my curiosity mixed with excitement made it difficult. Gavin wasn’t ignoring me because I was imperfect.
Hallelujah!
“Look, I’m your boss. You’re my PA. My temporary PA. Nothing more is going to come of this. Caroline is coming back in a little over two weeks. Understand?”
I took each word like a dagger to my ego. My excitement soured. I took a step back.
“I understand perfectly.” My lips barely moved. No wonder I sounded so stiff. “That still doesn’t explain your actions of this week.”
“It does. More than you know.” Gavin straightened and closed the gap between us again. “I’m hungry. Go to dinner with me.”
Wait, what?
One minute he was practically shoving it down my throat that I would never in a million years get the chance to work for him permanently and now he wanted to shove food down my throat?
He warned me he was moody, didn’t he? Hell, yes he’s moody!
“Dinner. Now?”
“Yes. Dinner. Now.”
“Okay. Yes.”
TEN
Gavin’s face didn’t break into a smile like I hoped. If anything he looked grimmer.
“Get your things while I call for the car.”
I nearly told him we didn’t have to go out for dinner after all, but my instinct told me he’d be even more irritated if I backed out now. I didn’t want Gavin irritated with me.
I wanted him to be happy and pleased.
Feeling incredibly awkward and unsure, I stood by my desk while Gavin turned off the lights, closed his office, and locked the door. The darkness was strange. I’d never seen the space without at least his desk lamp on.
Gavin wore his jacket and overcoat. The crimson tie gleamed beautifully against the charcoal and black.
I couldn’t deny that even with our distance this week I still found him criminally attractive. It wasn’t a good thing, but I was past doing wholesome and just things when I came here to work under false pretenses.
Gavin’s allure eroded my self-preservation faster than I could shore it up.
“Ready, Paige?”
“Sure.”
I got my things and then we walked together towards the elevator. Gavin pushed the button first. Thankfully, it opened immediately. Waiting for the elevator would surely have destroyed my ability to make small talk.
He held his arm out and allowed me to enter first before following closely behind. Even though he’d yet to touch me, my awareness of Gavin heightened to near-painful sensitivity.
I could scent his cologne as if my nose nestled against the hollow of his throat. It brought to mind spicy and exotic things. I loved it.
“I’m impressed. Girls usually storm out on me, in tears, when I snap at them like that.”
Shook out of my erotic musings, I scrambled to answer appropriately.
“Not all girls cry, you know?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a delicious smirk. “I can see that.”
I should’ve been proud to earn his esteem. I would’ve been if it was remotely close to my truth.
To be fair, I didn’t cry in public. I learned to control that. At least, I controlled it until I was alone and safe to unleash my sobs.
I was the biggest cry-baby when no one could see me. I wasn’t proud of that particular truth, but there it was.
“Listen, I don’t mean to be a jerk, Paige. I keep things close to the chest by nature. It’s not personal. Honestly.”
Despite their terse deliver, Gavin’s words meant more to me than I could let him know.
“I understand.”
“Do you really?”
“Yes.” I cut him a small glance. “I understand but I still stand by what I said earlier. I can’t do my job properly, Gavin, if I don’t know what you’re thinking in relation to our work. If I can’t approach you, how can I help you?”
“I never said you can’t approach me.”
“You implied it.”
He visibly brooded until we reached the bottom floor. Our steps echoed across the granite floor.
“Very well. I can’t change my communication patterns, but you can change how you relate to me. Tell me your thoughts instead.”
“And risk getting fired? No, thank you.”
“You’re fixated on this getting fired bit. It’s almost like you want me to do it. Why is that?”
Uh-oh. That question hit way too close to the truth. I had to come up with a plausible answer. Fast.
“That’s really not my intent.”
He quirked his brow but thankfully didn’t ask me to elaborate.
We went through the glass doors and stepped out into a world teeming with activity. Gavin led me to his gleaming black SUV waiting by the curb. The driver opened the door and greeted us both.
“Paige, this is my ultra-reliable driver Frank Watkins. Frank, this is Ms. Paige Winters.”
“How do you do, Ms. Winters?”
I mirrored his nod with one of my own. “Very well. Thank you for asking, Mr. Watkins.”
“Not Mr. Watkins. It makes me sound old. Please call me Frank.”
Gavin’s driver looked to be about in his fifties, but his back was as straight and strong as someone half his age. With his direct gaze and posture, I pegged him as ex-military. I liked him immediately.
“All right. Frank it is.”
He ushered me into the SUV with a curt nod softened by a friendly smile. Gavin entered right after me.
“There’s an Italian place I like to go to. Great food, low profile, genuine. Does that work for you?”
“I’m fine with that.”
Gavin leaned over and buckled me in before buckling himself. It was a little thing, probably not anything of big importance, but as these past couple of weeks had shown me, practically everything Gavin did was a big deal to me.
“Thank you.”
He frowned before smoothing out his features.
“No problem. We’d all hate for you to become a missile if we get into an accident.”
Granted it wasn’t romantic in any true sense of the meaning, but the gesture still warmed me nonetheless. I had a feeling this was going to be a common occurrence between us—if I didn’t get tossed out first because of my big mouth.
“Can I ask you something, Gavin?”
“It depends. I may not answer you, but feel free.”
“How long has Caroline worked for you?”
Gavin’s brow went up clearly in suspicion. “Why do you ask?”
“Curiosity. Among other things.” I wouldn’t let his protectiveness of her bother me. At least, I would try not to let it.
“Five years.”
“Five years? Wow.”
“You sound surprised.”
“I am. She must have the patience of a saint. Or she’s an angel.”
Gavin laughed instead of taking offense. “She does and she is.”
Okay, it was pretty damned petty of me to feel a twinge of jealousy over someone I’d never met and who I knew was in Gavin’s life for sure. Unlike me.
“Maybe I’ll earn my wings in two weeks then.”
“I imagine you will. If you can survive me then you can survive any of these C-Level Pricks.”
“Oh, you’re not even close to being a CLP.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“I’m positive. You’re entirely too thoughtful to ever be in true danger of being labeled a prick.”