Personal Challenges

by K. C. Wells

  “Mum!” Angelo burst into a peal of laughter. “You’re a wicked woman.”

  She smiled. “Didn’t you know? Rick taught me all I know.” She winked at Rick.

  Angelo lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “Mum, everything will be fine. If we have twenty or so family members coming from Sicily, then that’s wonderful. It’s going to be a fantastic wedding.” He gazed across the table at Rick, his heart swelling with love. “Because I’m going to be marrying the most wonderful man in the world.”

  Rick’s face glowed.

  “You see? That is what my family cannot see—the love in your voice and in your eyes when you look at Rick.” Mum grabbed both their hands and held on tight. “But I see it, tesoro. And I shall be the proudest woman alive to watch you make your vows to each other.” She released them and got to her feet. “I had better make the coffee for your grassone of a brother.” She left them to set up the coffee percolator.

  Rick sidled up to Angelo. “Grassone? I’ve not heard that one before. What does it mean?”

  Angelo stifled his laughter. “Basically?” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Fat slob.”

  Rick’s look of astonishment was comical.

  * * * * * *

  April 7th

  Dr. Michaels sat back in her chair and regarded Will and Blake with a smile. “I’m glad you came to this decision. There are a few more tests I’ll have to run before we go any further, but they won’t be problematic.”

  “So what happens next?” Blake asked, reaching for Will’s hand across the arms of their chairs. Will laced their fingers together.

  She shifted her mouse across the pad and peered at the screen. “The first thing to do will be to set a date for the surgery. The implantation age for infants is typically around twelve months.”

  “But… I saw a video on YouTube,” Will said, frowning. “A little girl on her activation day. She was about eight months old.”

  Dr. Michaels smiled. “You’ve been doing your homework.”

  “Does that mean you can do the procedure earlier?” Blake wanted to know.

  “There are some cases of earlier procedures, yes, but I must stress they are not the norm.” She gazed at Blake. “I take it you’d prefer the surgery to be done as early as possible.” He nodded, and she peered at the screen. “We could be talking October, if all goes well, but that will depend on the results of our tests.”

  “How long will the surgery take?” Blake wished he was taking notes. He wanted to remember all this.

  Dr. Michaels moved the mouse again, and the printer behind them whirred into life. “I’m printing out a leaflet I give to parents, providing all the key information, but I’ll go through it now. The surgery is performed under general anaesthetic, and typically takes three to four hours. Then Nathan will stay in hospital overnight so we can monitor him.” She smiled. “I’m not going to go through the procedure now. We can discuss that nearer the time. Now is the time for questions.”

  Will flashed Blake a look. “We need to know about the risks.”

  She nodded. “Of course.” Her voice was calm, and this more than anything went some way to quelling Blake’s own feelings of panic. He was glad they weren’t going to hear all the ins and outs of the surgery, because he didn’t think he could take that. Just the thought of Nathan, sedated, in an operating theatre… It sent shivers through him.

  “As with any surgical procedure, there are risks,” Dr. Michaels continued. “And I know they can sound very scary when your little boy is the one undergoing surgery, but they are for the most part rare or temporary, if they do occur at all.”

  Blake steeled himself, aware of Will’s hand tightening around his. “So let’s hear them.”

  “The facial nerve runs through the middle ear and is very close to where the surgeon will be working. An injury to it could result in partial weakening. And of course, anaesthesia can cause adverse reactions, but generally the incidence of this is very low. Then there’s cerebrospinal fluid leakage.”

  Will stilled. “Oh God.”

  Dr. Michaels gave him a gentle smile. “I can’t sugar-coat it, but again, the incidence is very low. There is also the risk of meningitis, but that usually only occurs in higher risk surgeries where the patient also has a malformation of the cochlea.”

  “Can the surgery have any lasting effects?” Will’s voice was quiet.

  Dr. Michaels nodded. “The nerve that provides taste to the tongue also goes through the middle ear, and there’s always the potential risk for injury during the surgery. There are a few more common risks, such as Tinnitus—a ringing in the ears?—dizziness, infections from the wound, and even numbness in the area around the ear.” She clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. “What’s important here is to think about the benefits. You’ve chosen to go down this route because the benefits far outweigh any provided by a hearing aid. We won’t simply be amplifying sound and relying on a damaged system to process the information. The implant will bypass the impaired areas and directly stimulate the nerve. Nathan will be able to perceive soft, medium and loud sounds. He’ll be able to distinguish different types of sounds, and correctly discriminate language.”

  “He’ll be like a normal hearing child?”

  She hesitated. “He’ll have access to information much like a child with normal hearing, but I want to make sure you’re aware of and understand realistic expectations. I’ve also included a leaflet with that explained and we’ll talk more about those points in detail as this process continues. Something else you might want to consider is bilateral implantation.”

  Blake blinked. “Both ears?”

  “Yes. Hearing with both ears can improve speech understanding in noisy settings, because let’s be honest here, how many children will live in a quiet world? And feedback from bilateral patients indicates that volume and tone sound better than with only one implant.” She met Blake’s gaze. “Would you have mono when you could have stereo?”

  “When you put it like that…” Blake glanced across at Will, who appeared dazed.

  “One important point to consider also is that generally speaking, listening and communicating with hearing loss is exhausting on any given day. Having bilateral processors will lessen the strain.”

  “How long after the op will he be able to hear?” Will demanded.

  “Activation day occurs typically three weeks later, and I will warn you now—it’s a very exciting but also very stressful day. For Nathan it will be scary, confusing, and funny as he hears sounds for the first time. Now, it does take a few sessions to fine tune the processors. Basically we hook up the processor to our computer and play a series of beeps that only Nathan will hear. It’s a more difficult task with babies because we’re watching for any recognition of the sound. Then we activate the speech feature.” She grinned.

  For the first time since they’d entered her office, Will smiled too. “I saw some of those videos on YouTube. They were amazing.”

  Dr. Michaels relaxed into her chair. “And that’s when the hard work begins. Nathan will have to participate in an aural rehabilitation programme, either with speech pathologists or audiologists. Essentially we’ll be teaching him how to listen. How to make all this noise he suddenly hears, have meaning.”

  Will gave a rueful smile. “Our hard work begins now.” When she tilted her head to gaze at him inquiringly, he squeezed Blake’s hand. “We’re going to start learning sign language.”

  “And what we learn, we’ll pass on to Sophie.”

  Dr. Michaels nodded approvingly. “You’ll be amazed how much you will be able to communicate to Nathan by your facial expressions and gestures. He should start to pick things up within a few months. Children learn so fast.” She grinned. “Sophie will probably be better at sign language than both of you. From what you’ve told me, that little girl is quick.”

  Blake chuckled. “We’d already worked that one out.” He glanced at Will. “We’ll be the ones with ‘Could do better’ wh
ile she goes to the top of the class.”

  Dr. Michaels got up from her desk and walked over to the printer. “Don’t underestimate yourselves, gentlemen. She takes after one of you, after all.” She handed the sheets to Will. “We’ll set up the tests and then fix a date for the surgery. In the meantime, try not to stress about it, okay? Nathan will certainly pick up on that. And one last question. Does Sophie know that Nathan is deaf?”

  Blake shook his head. “It’s a conversation we’ve been meaning to have.” He’d hesitated because he was unsure of how Sophie would react.

  She nodded. “Then now might be a good time.”

  Will regarded him steadily. “Tonight.”

  Blake wasn’t looking forward to that conversation at all.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “So, what did you do in school today?” Blake asked as he placed a bowl filled with sliced apple and grapes in front of Sophie. He sat at the kitchen table, Sophie in her chair. Will was pouring out two mugs of coffee and a glass of milk. He’d already prepared their dinner, and once Sophie was in bed, they’d eat. Nathan was already asleep in his room, and tiny noises filtered through the baby monitor on the wall.

  Sophie deliberated between a piece of apple and a fat green grape. “We learned a song about a spider.” She shuddered. “Spiders have lots of legs.”

  “A song about a spider?” Blake was intrigued. “Can you sing it for me?”

  Sophie nodded, beaming. When she burst into a very tuneful and loud rendition of Incy Wincy Spider, Blake had to smile too, especially when she added gestures to accompany the lyrics. Will stopped what he was doing and watched her, his face creased into a smile. When she reached the end, they both applauded her, and her face lit up.

  “Can I go and sing it to Nathan?” Sophie asked, before biting into an apple slice.

  Will chuckled. “Talk about perfect timing,” he murmured. He brought over Sophie’s glass, placed it near her and then sat facing Blake.

  “Nathan is asleep, sweetheart.” Blake pointed to the monitor. “Can you hear him?”

  Sophie paused in her attack on her fruit and cocked her head to one side. She smiled. “He sounds funny.”

  Blake laughed. “When you were a baby, you made noises too.” He indicated the fruit. “Do I get a grape?” Sophie plucked two from the bowl and dropped them into his palm. Blake gazed lovingly at his generous daughter. “Thank you. I’ll give one of those to Daddy.” He handed it to Will. “Sophie, Daddy and I need to talk to you about something important, about Nathan.”

  She frowned. “Is he all right?”

  Will’s gaze met his, and Blake swallowed. “Nathan is fine, sweetheart. We’re going to talk with him in a different way, that’s all. ”

  “Why?”

  “Because Nathan is deaf,” Will said quietly. “He can’t hear us when we talk.”

  Sophie regarded him with obvious surprise. Then she gave them a confident smile. “But if I sing my song to him, very loud, he will hear that.”

  Blake’s chest tightened. If only.

  “Sophie, it doesn’t matter how loud you sing. Nathan can’t hear you.” Will peered intently at her. “You know how sometimes, when Papa is telling you to put your toys away, and you put your fingers in your ears? Can you hear what Papa says like that?”

  She giggled. “Silly Daddy. No.”

  “Well, that’s what it’s like all the time for Nathan. His ears don’t work the same way yours do.”

  “Why is Nathan deaf?” Her usually cheerful smile disappeared, and she stared at them, a faint frown furrowing her brow.

  “People become deaf for many reasons. Sometimes, babies—like Nathan—are born like that. Some people might become sick. Some may begin to lose their hearing as they get older.”

  She studied them for a moment, and then her forehead smoothed out. “Oh. You mean, like when you shout at Papa from the kitchen to fetch something for you, and he says, ‘I can’t hear you,’ in that singing voice?”

  Will smirked and glanced at Blake. “That’s just Papa being silly. Papa hears everything.”

  “I know. He hears you when you are in the kitchen, eating his chocolate.”

  It was Blake’s turn to smirk.

  Will ignored him and continued. “But Papa and I went to see a special doctor, and she’s going to help Nathan hear us.”

  “How?”

  Will glanced across at Blake. “Where are your reading glasses?”

  Blake got where Will was going with this. He rose from the table and went into the lounge to retrieve the glasses case from the small table. When he rejoined them at the table, Blake opened the case and put on the rimless glasses.

  “You know how Papa wears glasses to read the newspaper?” Will asked her.

  Sophie bit her lip. “Not all the time. Sometimes he says things like, ‘there’s nothing wrong with my eyes’, and he holds the newspaper really far away.”

  Will glanced at Blake, his eyes sparkling. “Yes, well, Papa needs those glasses to help him see. And it doesn’t matter that he hates how he looks in them, because I think Papa looks very—” He paused. “Very pretty when he wears them.” Sophie giggled. “But what I’m trying to say is, just like the glasses help Papa see, this doctor is going to give Nathan something to help him hear.”

  “Like glasses?” She stared at him, her eyes wide.

  “Not quite, sweetheart. They’re going to put something on his head that will help him to hear.”

  “Good,” Sophie declared emphatically. “I want to sing to him.”

  Blake had a brainwave. “You know all those actions you did when you sang about Incy Wincy Spider?” he asked her. “Well, Daddy and I are going to learn how to talk to Nathan by using our hands.”

  Sophie burst into a peal of laughter. “Hands can’t talk, Papa.”

  Blake stared at her, grinning. “Is that so? What do I mean when I do this?” He laid a finger on his lips.

  “That means I have to be quiet.”

  “And what do you think this means?” He rubbed his belly.

  Sophie watched him for a second, and then she nodded enthusiastically. “You’re hungry!”

  “Good girl,” Blake said, beaming at her. “Well, some deaf people talk with their hands. It’s called sign language. They use different shapes for different words. That was how to say hungry.”

  “Papa and I are going to learn how to use sign language, so we can talk to Nathan,” Will added.

  Sophie bounced on her chair. “Can I learn too?”

  “Of course you can. That way, we can all talk to each other.”

  Sophie’s little face glowed. She picked up Mr. Bunny from the chair next to her. “I’m going to learn sign language,” she told him proudly.

  “There will be no sign language for you if you don’t eat all your fruit, young lady,” Blake told her, his voice firm.

  Sophie put down her rabbit immediately and went back to eating her apple and grapes. Blake’s gaze met Will’s. “And when she’s asleep, you and I will start looking for ways to learn.”

  Before Will could respond, Sophie nodded. “We have to learn together. We’re a family.”

  Blake stared at her, his heart full of love. “Yes, we are, sweetheart.”

  * * * * * *

  “Will, come here. I think I’ve found something.”

  Will caught the edge of excitement in Blake’s voice instantly. He hung the towel over the heated rail and went into the bedroom. Blake was already in bed, a pile of pillows stuffed behind him, the laptop balanced on his knees and a pair of earphones lying against his chest. He glanced up as Will entered, his eyes shining.

  “Come take a look at this.”

  Will climbed onto the bed and sat beside him. “What have you found?”

  Blake pointed to the screen. “This is the website for the NDCS—the National Deaf Children’s Society. There’s so much on here.”

  “I thought you were looking up where we can find classes on sign language.”
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  “I was. Did you know you can take qualifications in BSL?”

  Will sighed. “I don’t give a fuck for qualifications. I just want to learn how to communicate with our son.”

  Blake put the laptop to one side, and then extended one arm. “Come here.” Will shifted closer until his face was buried in Blake’s neck. He inhaled deeply, drawing Blake’s warm scent into his nostrils. “I know, babe.” Blake’s voice was gentle. “And I have no plans for us to take exams in British Sign Language. But what I found will help our situation.”

  That got Will’s attention. “Oh?” He shoved his pillows against the headboard and sat up next to Blake. “Show me.”

  Blake picked up the laptop. “They have a section here: Communicating with your deaf child. It talks about the different methods, using sign language as a first language—”

  “Whoa. Wait a minute.” Will stared at him. “First language?”

  Blake nodded. “Basically they group the different communication methods into three types of approaches. There’s listening and speaking, which will work well with the implant. Then there’s sign language as the first language, and spoken English as the second.” He stared at Will. “Do you get the implication? At home we’d all use sign language around him, all the time.”

  “You said three approaches.” Will’s head was spinning. The idea that sign language would become the norm was such an incredible concept that he couldn’t quite grasp it.

  Blake nodded. “Finally, they talk about using a combination of different methods, the key point being that there is flexibility, that there is no one method which should be considered better than another. It all boils down to what would work best for Nathan and us. So we’d use signing, speech and hearing, fingerspelling—”

  Will chuckled. “That would be the ‘back to school’ part, right?”