I focus on pleasuring her, ignoring her protests, and drive my tongue in deeper. She tenses up when I add my fingers to the mix, working her, lapping her up, until she arches her back and lets go against my lips.
Fuck. I could spend forever eating her pussy.
I rise up and watch as she starts to level her breathing.
“My turn,” she whispers, climbing forward.
I grunt when she pushes me on my back and immediately pulls off my shirt. The room feels hot when she starts to run open-mouth kisses over my chest and circles her tongue around my nipples, tugging at them with her teeth. I tremble when she unbuckles my pants, yanks them down, and wraps her lips around my cock before even taking them off.
My needy fingers sink into her hair, guiding her how I like it, and she stops right before I’m about to explode. She knows my body that well. She licks her lips and then wipes her mouth with the back of her hand while grinning down up me.
“I want you on top,” she says.
“Your favorite,” I mutter. It’s mine too.
“Show me how much I turn you on. Dominate me.”
She smiles the entire time she drags my pants down my legs and tosses them off the bed. She’s back underneath me as soon as they hit the door, my weight hovering over her, and I put a condom on before positioning my cock at her soaked opening.
Everything feels right when I sink into her.
I rock my hips, and she meets my thrusts with a moan.
“Yes,” she mutters. “You always know exactly how I like it.”
“Fuck, baby,” I rasp out, rearing my hips back to make longer strokes. “You feel so damn good. Nothing is better than this.”
I entwine our hands, pushing them into the firm mattress, and rock into her. We go slow, giving each other everything we have, as we say our goodbye.
She tilts her ass up, and I rest her legs on my shoulders so I can drive deeper into the woman I’m obsessed with, keeping my eyes on the breathtaking view of her the entire time until she cries out in ecstasy.
I shudder out my release three pumps later.
“I love you,” I say, staring down at her and catching my breath.
The words have been at the tip of my tongue for a while now, but I’ve held myself back from saying them in fear of scaring her off.
The room falls silent, and it seems like my confession ruined the moment. Alarm rings through me when she peeks up at the ceiling, avoiding my gaze.
I hit her with an orgasm and then smacked her in the face with love devotions.
Her reaction is only more evidence that time isn’t on our side.
“You don’t have to say it back,” I rush out, collapsing next to her and squeezing her thigh. “I wanted you to know how I felt when you land in California tomorrow. I don’t want you getting home thinking this was some fling to me. You mean so much more to me than that.”
It takes her a few seconds before she looks down. “The feeling is mutual. I love you, too.” Her hand grabs mine. “Sorry for the delay, but you startled me when you blurted it out. I can barely think straight right now. That was incredible.”
I’m sure the smile I’m giving her is cheesy as hell, but I can’t help it. “You have no idea how good it makes me feel to hear you say that.”
She nods shyly, but her eyes still don’t meet mine.
I get up to dispose of the condom and pull her into me when I crawl back into bed.
We made love tonight. It was passionate and emotional. But I’m afraid all of that passion is going to depart with her on the plane tomorrow.
Libby falls asleep before I do. Her breathing settles, her chest moving in and out against mine.
Sleep doesn’t come to me.
I saw the truth in her eyes. There’s love there.
But I also saw something else.
Doubt.
Libby’s feelings are mutual, but might not run as deep.
It’s early, and the sun is already beating in through the tinted SUV windows as we’re on our way to drop Libby off at the airport.
She asked me to stay in the car and say our goodbyes in here so it can be private with no media attention. I offered to rent her a jet, even suggesting I go with her and fly right back, but she refused.
“I can send a plane for you on the weekends or anytime you have a break from school,” I say, resting my hand on her leg. “We’ll figure out how to make this work.”
She pushes her dark sunglasses up her nose, sighing. “Knox, you know that’s going to be too difficult and not going to work.” What the fuck? My chest starts to tighten, my mind already knowing exactly where this conversation is heading – into a dead fucking end. “You’re going to be swamped with tour stuff. I’m going to be studying my ass off. Neither one of us is going to have time to jet set around the world. Not to mention, I’m going to be working part-time for Thomas, and I have my dad.”
I keep shaking my head. “Don’t do this, Libby.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Decide that it won’t work before we’ve even given it a chance. Don’t break things off because you’re scared of a little distance. I might not have the best relationship track record, neither one of us do, but that doesn’t mean we’re incapable of commitment and love. Trust me, I was terrified to say it myself. There’s only been one other woman I’ve spoken those words to, and that relationship went to shit. This time around, though, it’s stronger. I feel my love for you through my entire body, my veins, my heart, every part of me. I will do anything to make us work. I will fly to you every day I have off. I will bring you to me. Anything. Please don’t do this.”
I’m rambling, I know, but I only have a short time to plead my case before she has to go.
She shakes her head. “I’m not breaking anything off. All I’m saying is our relationship is going to change drastically as soon as I get on that plane. We’ll be in different times zones. My bedtime will be your show time.”
“We’re both mature enough to handle minor shit like that. We have Facetime, cell phones, computers. Modern technology is a pretty kickass thing.” She stays silent. “Why weren’t you saying any of this last night? Why are you springing this on me last minute, right before you’re about to leave?”
“Because I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted us to enjoy our night together.” She looks down at my hand as if it shouldn’t be there and shakes her head. “Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I’m exhausted, and I know I have a long week ahead of me trying to get everything in order for my classes.”
My mouth turns dry as George pulls up to the airport entrance.
Circle around! We need more damn time!
He looks back at Libby. “You ready?”
She nods before ducking down and grabbing her purse from the floorboard.
“Call or text me as soon as you land, okay?” I croak out.
She nods, looking down at her lap. “I will.”
I want to pull those sunglasses from her face and force her to look at me. It’s the best way I can read her. I have a sick feeling in my stomach that as soon as she steps out of this car, we’re over.
I inch forward and capture her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lightly press my lips to hers. She responds, grabbing the back of my head and strengthening our kiss.
It hits me when she slowly pulls away and breaks our connection.
This isn’t just a goodbye kiss.
It’s the goodbye kiss.
It could possibly be the last kiss we’ll ever have.
“Well …” she pauses. “I have a flight to catch.”
“I love you,” I say, around a rough swallow.
“I love you, too.” The words rush from her lips as she opens up the door.
She doesn’t look back at me as George pulls her luggage from the back and hands it to her, or when she strolls it behind her as she disappears through the airport doors.
39
Libby
“I have my roomie back, l
a la la, I have my roomie back, la la la,” Mia sings as she comes skipping into my bedroom.
I got in a few hours ago and took an Uber home since Mia was going to be gone at a Charity event with her parents all day.
I have my luggage unloaded, and the last load of laundry is in the dryer. I’ve been busy trying to unpack and get everything together for when classes start. I have a meeting with financial assistance in the morning to set up a payment plan.
During the flight, I went back and forth with myself on whether I should’ve accepted Knox’s offer of flying with me, but I had to insist he stay. He’s leaving the country in two days and is going to need plenty of rest. Not to mention, it would’ve only made our goodbye harder, especially after I hinted that things between us wouldn’t work out long distance.
My eyes had welled up, tears biting at me when we pulled up to the airport, and I’m grateful I had my sunglasses on. I had to stay strong. I had to be sensible. I couldn’t lead him into thinking everything was going to be all sugar and roses after I left.
“Am I still considered a roomie if I’m technically not paying rent?” I ask. I’ve offered to pay Mia for letting me stay there with her now that I have some money, but she won’t take it.
She moves over a stack of folded clothes and sits down on my bed. “I don’t pay the rent here either, so I guess we’re both getting away with it.”
I smile. That’s why she’s my best friend. Instead of making me feel like a loser, she makes fun of herself.
She smacks my bed. “Now I want to know all of the details about the tour.”
“It was busy,” I answer.
“That’s all the details? You were busy? Busy working, or busy in the bedroom?” I stay quiet. “Or both?”
“I know you’re not going to let me off the hook, so both.”
“Yay! She finally got laid, ladies and gentlemen. Now I want to know everything. I want to know where your vibrator went, the truth about what happened with douchebag Adam, because I know the shit posted online are lies, and how Knox is in the bedroom.”
I spend the next hour giving her the scoop about the tour, but try to stay away from talking about saying goodbye to Knox.
“Do you think you guys will stay together?” she asks, not letting me get away with it.
Her question hits me hard, and I can feel my heart pounding against my chest. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Did he break your heart?”
I shake my head, a tear falling down my cheek. “No, I think I broke his.”
Her face goes soft, and she wraps her arms around me. “Then un-break it. You obviously have feelings for him, strong ones.”
“I love him.”
“You can fix it. You can be with him.”
“I can’t. It’ll never work out between us, and the longer it goes on, the harder the pain will be when it falls apart. He’s on tour, Mia. He’s traveling all over the world with girls throwing themselves at him every three seconds. Do you honestly think he’s going to stay celibate and wait around for a girlfriend thousands of miles away sitting in a classroom? I witnessed it happen with Adam, with my father, with all of his bandmates. Men cannot stay faithful being a musician, especially on the road.”
“Have you told him that’s what you’re scared of? Why you’re running away?”
“I’ve tried explaining it to him, but he doesn’t understand. He swears he’ll stay committed and won’t cheat, but I can’t trust his word, no matter how hard I try to talk myself into it. If I don’t trust him, it’ll never work.”
I’m wiping tears from my cheeks when my phone beeps. I pick it up and can’t help but smile.
Knox: My new assistant smells like pickles and hot sauce. She also won’t stop chomping on ice cubes. Would you get mad at me if I made her ride on top of the bus? It would be like a convertible.
My replacement is a woman in her thirties who seems nice and organized. Anna has worked as an assistant for a few other celebrities, but her schedule has never been as packed as it is with Knox. I told her she might want to stock up on Xanax or something because she seemed like a nervous wreck when it was time for her to take my place. I knew it was going to be a big change for Knox when I left, and he was probably going to give her a hard time at first, like he did me.
Me: Be nice to her. She had great references.
Knox: She’s not doing a bad job. She’s just not you.
His response tugs at my heart. She’s just not you.
I could give it all up, quit my job, drop out of school, and start working for him again, but then where would I be when things went south? I’d be out of a job and a college dropout.
Me: If you get rid of her, they’ll bring your mom back in.
Knox: Shit. Good point.
My phone vibrates with another message.
Anna: You said I could text if I needed anything, but do you have a happy pill anywhere for this guy?
Me: Not a happy pill, but try Friends on Netflix.
Knox: Did you really just text her and say to put on Netflix like she’s my babysitter asking how to control a cranky child?
Me: You are acting like a cranky child. Be nice to her for me.
Knox: You want to know something that’ll put me in a good mood?
Me: Who knows with you.
Knox: Send me a sexy picture.
Me: I’m sitting in my room with Mia. She’ll think I’m a freak.
Knox: You are a freak, and I love it.
“Is that him?” Mia asks. I nod. “Be upfront with him right now. Don’t lead him on if you’re not sure what you want.”
“I will.”
At another time.
40
Libby
“Hi, I need to set up a payment plan,” I tell the financial advisor I’ve had an appointment set with for months. “I have about a third that I can pay upfront.”
I’ve saved up almost every penny that I could, but only working for a few months still wasn’t enough to pay for both semesters. It’s something, though, and every little bit counts for me right now.
The middle-aged woman shoves her glasses up her narrow nose and nods. “I need your ID please.” I pull out my wallet and hand her my ID. She starts to type in all of my information. “Libby Graves.” She punches in a few more keys and then tilts her head to the side to study the screen. “It looks like your tuition is paid up for both semesters.”
I lean forward in my chair. “What? I think there’s a mistake?” I point to my ID in her hand. “Did you spell my name correctly? Do you want to call and make sure there isn’t a glitch in the system?”
“There are no glitches, your name is spelled correctly, and all of the information matches your account. Your tuition is paid.”
“By who?”
“It doesn’t say. All it’s telling me is that it was paid in full two weeks ago.” Her slender pink lips form a smile. “Whoever it was, they are awfully nice.” She pushes her hands together and rests them on her desk. “Anything else I can help you with?”
The office is packed with people. She wants me out of here so she can move onto the next broke student.
“No thank you,” I say, getting up from my chair. I take my ID and leave her office.
My purse is hanging from my arm as I look through it to find my phone while I make my way back to the Jeep in the parking lot, which I still need to give back to Knox. When I asked when he wanted me to drop it off, he told me to wait until Nate is home. I have a feeling waiting until Nate is home is going to take awhile.
Me: Did you pay my tuition?
I unlock the doors and slide into the Jeep. I make it all the way back to the condo before my phone beeps with a reply.
Knox: I have no clue what you’re talking about. The tuition fairy must’ve done it.
Me: I’m serious. Un-pay it.
Knox: Hell no.
Me: Then I’m paying you back for it.
This is supposed to be my time
to be independent, and Knox paying my bills for me is the complete opposite of that.
I throw my purse over my shoulder and stomp into the condo, like the three-year-old I’m acting like.
“He paid my tuition!” I yell.
Mia is sitting at the kitchen table chomping on a bowl of yogurt and granola. “Good boy.”
“No, bad boy. I wanted to do this on my own. I’m not one of his little charity cases.”
She drops her spoon into her bowl and rolls her eyes. “I don’t think he did it because he feels sorry for you or thinks you’re a damn charity case. He did it because he cares about you, and I have a feeling he also did it because he’s in love with you.”
I haven’t told Mia about Knox confessing his feelings for me, and I don’t plan to. She’ll really be on my ass about pushing him away if she finds out.
“This helps you so much,” she goes on. “If you make more money in the future and it’s tearing you up that bad, pay him back then. But you need to take all the help you can get right now, okay? You would be paying student loans off for the next five years had he not paid it. You have so much going on right now – required community service hours, your work, homework, you’d be stressed out having to worry about paying for school on top of that.”
My phone beeps when I sit down in the chair across from her.
Knox: Are you mad? Sorry, I only wanted to help. I want you to focus on what you love to do.
Me: I’m not mad. It just took me by surprise.
Knox: You’re honestly one of the best people to ever walk into my life. When I’m old and write a tell-all about my life, you’ll be in there as someone who changed me for the better. Everything you’ve done for me, every emotion you’ve made me feel, it’s made me a better man, and I can’t thank you enough. I want to thank you for giving me something so amazing by helping with your tuition. Please give me that. You’re going to go out there and do great things. You’ll be helping those less fortunate and taking care of kids whose parents don’t make the right decisions. I want you to be able to focus all of your attention on that, not student loans.
POP ROCK Page 20