by Lacey Black
Suddenly, I stop singing. I watch helplessly as that girl - the Holly look-alike - starts to move from her seat, excusing herself as she moves around the standing people as she heads towards the aisle. She never takes her eyes off of me as she makes her way to the corner of the stage, politely pushing her way through the throngs of people. Security stops her at the edge of the stage, holding her back just before she actually reaches my location.
And that’s when I know. I know it so clearly and deeply. Like the clouds opening up and letting the sunshine through for the first time in days. Weeks. It’s Holly. My Holly.
She’s here.
I jump up off the stool and run towards the corner of the stage where security is trying to escort her back to her seat.
“Wait, wait, wait,” I yell as I approach their location.
The security guard and Holly both look up at the same time and see me squatting on the stage. “She’s with me,” I say as I extend my hand down to her, holding my breath as I wait.
Her smile could light up the entire arena, and I’m pretty sure mine is the exact mirror image. Holly extends her hand upward. Electricity flares through my body as we touch for the first time in a month. I feel alive. I can breathe – really breathe - for the first time in weeks.
The security guard helps lift Holly onto the stage. The crowd is on their feet screaming and cheering, but I don’t hear them. I only hear Holly’s short pants of breath. I lead her over towards my stool, center stage. Flashes from cell phones and cameras are everywhere and bright enough to blind you, but neither of us take our eyes off of each other for one second.
A second stool appears out of nowhere. Okay, not out of nowhere - Jesse delivers the stool with a big smug smile on his face. Jackass.
I guide Holly to sit in the seat I just vacated and turn her so that she’s facing me. I move my stool and my body so that I’m facing directly at her. I set my guitar on my lap, keeping my eyes locked on her tear-filled ones, and finish the song.
Promise me, you’ll always be beside me
Promise me, that you will always see us through,
I promise you to love you always,
I promise you, only you.
Promise me,
I promise you.
The band never joins in. I sing the rest of my song acoustic style to the girl I wrote it for. Just me, Holly, and my guitar. And twenty-thousand screaming fans.
As soon as I strum the final note, I remove my guitar and set it on the ground. My pulse is skyrocketing to stroke level. Holly’s crying eyes are filled with so much love and adoration that I know deep down that there is no way I will ever be able to walk away from this woman. No way will I ever let my stupid pride get in the way of the best thing to ever walk into my Meet and Greet, into my life.
No way will I ever let her go.
Chapter Fifteen
Holly
You’d think I’d be embarrassed to be sitting up on stage with thousands of screaming Bent fans staring at me. But as long as I keep my eyes locked on Jase’s striking green eyes, I don’t even know the rest exists.
Jase sets his guitar down on the stage and leans towards me. His hands feel amazing. Like the missing piece of my life has finally clicked into place. I can’t help the big smile that spreads across my face. A smile that I haven’t seen in almost a month - well, until last night when Avery insisted I watched his interview and performance on Amanda Knows Show.
Jase gets up from his stool and stands directly in front of me. Our fingers link together as we continue to have a conversation with our eyes. Neither of us say a word, yet we know exactly what the other is thinking. We just connect like that.
“I fucked up pretty bad,” he finally says with a slight lift of the corner of his lip. “I knew that there was nothing going on with you and your friend, but I couldn’t stop myself from making an ass out of myself. I couldn’t stop myself from hurting you and insulting you the way I did. There’s no excuse for it, Holly, and I’m so damn sorry.
“From the first moment I picked up a guitar at age six, I knew I had found love. Music. That was my first and only love. Until you. Until you walked into that Meet and Greet, and I saw you standing across the room. I knew that my first love was now my second. I knew that I had found the one thing I had been searching for and didn’t even know it. I found you.
“Tonight, I’m going to walk off this stage for the final time. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve done, and while I’m happy to have the break, it still terrifies me. The only thing that could make this night any better is to walk off this stage towards you. You are my music. You are my first,” he says to me and only me. You wouldn’t even know that there are thousands of fans watching right now because besides the occasional clicking of a camera, you could hear a pin drop in Madison Square Garden.
“I don’t have a ring,” he tells me as he slowly drops down on one knee. “I’m not proposing to you tonight - though that’s coming soon. Tonight, I’m making you a promise. Tonight, I promise to love you until I take my last breath. Tonight, I promise to hold your hand when you laugh and wipe your tears when you cry. Tonight, I promise that every ounce of my being belongs to you and always will.”
I watch as he sucks in a deep breath. My eyes are riveted to him, pulled in to the endless depths of those green eyes. Eyes that speak to me just as much as the words coming from his mouth.
“A month ago you promised me that you would stick by me and I’m holding you to that promise. I can’t let you go, Holly. You are my air, my light, my water, and my fucking world,” Jase confesses as I stare down at the only man I’ve ever really, truly, honestly loved.
“And I love you so much it fucking hurts,” he adds.
Tears from my eyes drop down onto our linked fingers. “You have nothing to apologize for, Jase. We both messed up. I lied to you when I told you that I couldn’t deal with all of this. I lied because I was scared. The truth is I can deal with it. I want to deal with it. Because having to deal with the madness you call your life is so much better than not having you in mine at all. I choose you,” I whisper. “And I love you, too.”
Jase is standing before I even realize what is going on. I’m engulfed in a big hug, wrapped tightly in his hard, sweaty arms. His lips taste and feel like heaven. His breath washes over me as he kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. And considering the first few kisses we’ve shared, that’s saying something.
After several minutes into our little make out session, Jase and I both finally come up for air, realizing exactly where we are. The crowd is electric as it starts to come back into focus. The other members of Bent are all smiling and clapping along with the audience. The intensity in Jase’s green eyes is all-consuming.
“Promise me you’ll always be right here with me. No matter how stupid I get or what asinine things I do, promise me,” he says against my lips. “This is it - you and me for the rest of our lives.”
“I promise,” I whisper before his lips are back on mine in the best kiss. A kiss that signifies the rest of our lives.
*****
July 4th
“Babe, get out here with the rest of us and enjoy the party,” Jase says from the back door of our new home. Jase purchased seventy-five acres of timber and open pasture outside of Rivers Edge as soon as the tour wrapped up. The older colonial, two story home is set far enough back from the road that you can’t see it unless you come up the driveway. The first thing Jase did was hire Travis and his guys to install a security gate, subtle yet protective fencing, and sensors around the property. Then, while Jase took care of selling his place in California and making all the arrangements to move his permanent residence to Rivers Edge, Stevens Construction gave the older home a beautiful facelift. It’s sparkling white with country blue shutters. The brand new wrap around porch is perfect for enjoying quiet, summer nights. Everything happened very fast and it still shocks me that Travis and his guys were able to complete everything so quickly. But, I guess
when you have someone like Jase Bentley who will pay any amount of money for fast turnaround, you don’t turn down the business.
We’ve officially lived here - together - for three days. We moved in just in time to host our first official event - a July 4th party that was in the works while the updates were happening. My family is here, and Jase’s family flew in for the holiday weekend. I had talked with most of them over the phone, but it was nice to finally get everyone together and all meet face to face. Plus, my extended family - the Stevens’ - are all here to celebrate our nation’s birthday.
“I’m coming,” I say as I finish refilling the chips and dip tray. I walk over to the backdoor, lay a quick kiss on his oh-so-delicious lips, and follow him into our newly furnished backyard.
Jase and I went to St. Charles on my day off earlier in the week and purchased tables and chairs, lounges, a stationary double swing, and a massive swing set for the kids that took the guys two days and a lot of beer to construct. Brooklyn hasn’t been off the swing set since she got here two hours ago. It warms my heart to see my honorary niece enjoying my place so much. After all, I would do anything for her - and her brother.
“Here’s more chips and dip,” I tell our family and friends as I set it down in the middle of the food table. Travis and Jake both jump up with their plates and practically push each other over to get to the homemade guacamole dip. I’ll admit, Mrs. Stevens is killer in the kitchen.
“Holly, how were your first few nights in the new house?” Erin asks from her bench seat next to Jake.
“Really great,” I reply as I sit down at the large round table across from her. “Our first dinner was homemade mashed potatoes and mac and cheese,” I add.
“That’s an interesting combination. Are you pregnant?” Josselyn asks jokingly – or maybe not so jokingly – as she snuggles her eight month old.
“No. It’s my favorite food and Jase’s. It just felt right to do our two favorite foods on our first night in our new house together,” I say, leaving out the part about nibbling that food off of each other’s bodies.
“I think it’s incredibly romantic. Who knew tattooed rocker, Jase Bentley, was such a sweetheart,” Avery says from next to me.
“He is a big softy,” I add with a smile, looking over at Jase who is in deep conversation with Will.
“And it helps that he’s hot as hell,” Erin says under her breath, yet not quite soft enough for her over-protective fiancé to not hear.
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah,” Josselyn replies as Erin giggles.
“Don’t worry, cowboy. You’re still my number one hottie,” Erin says with a little grin as Jake leans over and kisses the crown of her head.
Two hours later, after all of the hamburgers and brats have been consumed and the kids are starting to settle down for the evening, Mrs. Stevens addresses the crowd. “Everyone, dusk is upon us. Why don’t we all grab our blankets and chairs and settle in the yard to watch the fireworks.”
Our yard should have a perfect view of the Rivers Edge fireworks off in the distance over the tree line. I jump up and grab one of the blankets piled on the patio for the evening. Jase is talking to Maddox and Nate so I head over and lay our blanket out on the ground. Everyone else appears to choose places towards the front, so I hang back a little bit. Part of enjoying our first holiday together is watching our families and friends enjoy the moment with us.
As soon as the blanket is stretched out, Jase joins me, flopping down on his back. His legs are extended out, tattooed arms back behind his head. He looks all sorts of comfortable, and I all of a sudden wish we were alone.
“Quit looking at me like that or I’ll have to throw you over my shoulder, march you to the house in front of our family and friends, and make you see your own fireworks,” Jase says with that cocky smile I love so much.
“Fireworks, huh? Pretty sure of yourself there, big boy,” I tease.
“You know it,” he replies as I sit down next to him on the blanket. I watch my parents sit in lawn chairs with Jase’s parents. My best friend holds her sleeping son on their blanket while Maddox continually lights sparklers for Brooklyn. The rest of the crowd visits and laughs from their positions within my yard.
“I’d say our first event was a big success,” Jase says as he weaves his fingers between mine.
“I believe you would be correct, Mr. Bentley,” I say as I lay back on his arm, snuggled in closely.
“I kinda like having kids running around the backyard,” Jase says out of the blue.
“Me too,” I reply, watching Brooklyn stand by Maddox and wave her sparkler.
“Maybe someday we’ll add our own few to the mix,” he whispers as he strokes my knuckles with his thumb on our linked hands.
“I think that sounds nice,” I say, turning so my chin is nestled into his neck. Jase smells musky and hot with a little sweat mixed in. It’s an aphrodisiac.
After about twenty minutes, it’s finally dark enough for the first sets of fireworks to be shot off. The vibrant red, blue, green, silver, and gold are mesmerizing and breathtaking. Shot after shot after shot of glorious colors in all shapes and designs. I never appreciated fireworks until this year. Until I’m watching them from Jase’s embrace.
Suddenly, he’s rolling me over and scooting out from under me. He stands up so quickly that he almost loses his balance.
I sit up just as quickly, concerned that something is seriously wrong with him. He grabs my hands and pulls me up until I’m standing right in front of him.
“Jase, are you -” I start, but am cut off as Jase places his fingers on my lips, silencing me.
“Holly, I’ve had an amazing life and career. I’ve played stadiums and arenas that most artists dream about. I’ve been to countries that I never imagined I’d visit. I’ve done what I loved since I was eighteen years old in front of crowds of twenty to thousands. Music was my first love, my only love, for so long. Until you walked into that room three months ago. From that exact moment, I knew you were different. I knew that music was no longer my first love.”
Those green eyes pierce me through the darkness. “I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. You amaze me every day with your strength and your big heart. You are the most caring and nurturing person I know and that’s evident every day in your work as a nurse and every time I watch you interact with Avery’s kids. It sounds completely corny and a little cliché to say, but you complete me and make me whole. I am just a messed up, inadequate man without you.
“With that said, I’m still learning here. I know I’m going to make mistakes and I’m going to piss you off - maybe even daily. As long as you promise me that you won’t give up on me, I promise you that I will continually strive to be worthy of your love. I will prove it to you every single day,” Jase says, his voice cracking from the weight of his emotion.
I know Jase is standing before me because I feel his heat. I feel his eyes gazing so deep down inside me that he can see my entire soul. I feel the strength of his words. I feel it all even though I can’t see him through my tears. I can’t speak through the lump in my throat, but I know that my words aren’t needed right now.
Jase reaches up and wipes my tears with the pads of his thumbs as the fireworks explode high in the clear night sky around us.
“I have something for you,” he whispers as he reaches into the front pocket on his khaki shorts and pulls out a little black velvet bag.
“This actually belonged to my grandmother,” he says as he drops the beautiful solitaire square diamond on a white gold band into his hand. It’s the perfect size for me - not too big so that it wouldn’t get in the way at work.
“I told you last month that I would be doing this one day. I just didn’t tell you that it would be sooner rather than later,” Jase says moments before he drops to one knee. My heart jumps in my throat and is beating at a rapid fire pace. I practically choke on the breath that gets caught in my throat as I watch him kneel before me
, my shaking hand still firmly in one of his.
“Holly Jenkins, my life is only complete with you in it. I pledge everything I have and everything I am to you. You are my music, my hope. Will you marry me?”
I can’t even speak. Shaking my head up and down seems like even the biggest of chores right now, but I want nothing more than to scream my answer from the mountain tops.
“Yes,” I whisper moments before Jase jumps up and pulls me into his arms. Warmth wraps around me as his lips press firmly against mine. This is that moment that every little girl dreams about while they’re growing up, but the best part is that this moment is real.
Jase is my prince.
And this moment was better than anything I could have ever imagined.
Fireworks continue to burst in the distance, and I’m vaguely aware of the murmurs of our family and friends around us. I don’t want to break off the kiss, but eventually Jase pulls back - joy and excitement radiating from his devastatingly handsome face.
His hand has a slight tremor to it as he slides the ring onto my left ring finger.
“You are my everything, Holly. I love you more than I ever thought was possible,” he whispers against the side of my face as he slowly turns us to watch the rest of the fireworks. The grand finale is breathtaking. Though, I’d have to say our grand finale was better.
I watch the bright colors explode brilliantly in the sky, my arms wrapped firmly around Jase’s waist. He places a gentle kiss on the top of my head as the crowd around us cheers at the end of the show.
“Promise me something, Holly,” Jase says.
“Anything.”
“Promise me you’ll let me win a fight every once in awhile,” he says with the slightest hint of laughter in his voice.