by Twyla Turner
Lexi chuckled a little, before responding. “I will. And thanks, Dom, for listening.”
“No problem. That’s what friends are for.” Dom stepped out the door, and walked towards the porch steps, but then stopped to look back at her. “Oh, you might want to start selecting the paintings for the exhibit, and getting them wrapped up. Someone from the gallery should be coming by in the next couple of weeks, to pick them up.” Dom informed her.
“Okay, perfect.” Lexi nodded her head.
“See ya.” Dom waved, and walked down the stairs, to the awaiting car.
“Bye,” Lexi said back, as she waved at Tony, who had gotten out of the car to help Dom into the passenger side.
Watching the chivalrous gesture, a pang of longing shot through Lexi’s soul. Sloan had rarely ever, let her open her own door. So seeing the gesture, made her miss him even more. Which she didn’t think, was even possible.
With a sigh of determination, Lexi closed the door and trudged upstairs. She walked into the bathroom from the hallway entrance, stripping off her clothes as she went. She stepped into the shower and turned on the spray. The cold water hit her body, and she gasped at the shock of it. But it helped to sober her up, a little.
The water quickly warmed, and she let it run down her skin, for a few minutes. When she was ready, she finally grabbed her loofa, poured body wash onto it and started to scrub way the grime covering her. And she washed and conditioned her hair, using a wide tooth comb to detangle the snags in her hair.
She pretended as if the shower was a type of baptism. The water rinsing away the old Lexi, down the drain, and in the end she would come out new. And hopefully…changed. Because she knew, it was time to stop wallowing in self-pity. Sloan might be gone from her life, and it hurt like hell, but the strength that he had pulled out of her, was still there. And she drew from it. And besides, I’m finally free of the abuse. I don’t have to be scared anymore. Ding dong the dick is dead!
Lexi sighed and smiled to herself, as she rinsed off. Enough is enough, Alexis. You’ve mourned the relationship. And though it still hurts like a motherfucker, you have so much to be thankful for. It’s time to get it together.
Lexi made up her mind to not let her sorrow consume her. So she got dressed, pulled her hair back into a puff, and then went through her paintings to decide which ones were going to be in the show. Then she spent the rest of the day, returning the calls that she had missed. The rubber bands on her wrists, virtually forgotten.
~~~
As fearful as he was to run into Lexi again, Sloan continued to see Dr. Mills. Her soothing healing spirit helped to calm him. Though he did sob like a baby during his session the day he ran into Lexi, in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. But aside from that embarrassing moment, the melatonin was working, and he slept fairly soundly at night. Even his flashback nightmares were happening less frequently. He found that actually talking it out with the doctor helped, and the meditation exercises she gave him to work on, assisted as well.
Before bed each night, to help with his PTSD, Dr. Mills had instructed him to pull a good memory of himself and Vick, and to focus on it. She had coached him to quiet his mind while, he focused on the happy memory, as he drifted off to sleep. During the day, if he felt himself getting angry, or on the verge of a flashback, she told him to let out his anger, instead of holding it in. She explained that when he held it in, was when it would trigger a bad episode. She suggested using a punching bag. So he immediately went to a sports store and found a punching bag that could be moved around, somewhat easily. And eventually, his workers knew to leave him alone when he pulled out his bag, from the back of his truck and started beating the crap out of it, during the work day.
He had only been going to the psychiatrist for about a month, and he was already feeling better than he had, in a long time. But he still had difficulty, with how he was dealing with the issue of Lexi. His war flashbacks may have been lessening, but the flashbacks of Lexi either dead or him choking her, kept popping up in his mind. The guilt was killing him.
“Could it be that you don’t want to let go of the guilt? And that’s why you continue to have the flashbacks?” Dr. Mills asked him, during his current session.
“Probably.” Sloan sighed, in frustration.
“Do you think she blames you for what happened that night?” She coaxed.
“No.”
“Then why do you?” Dr. Mills raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t know!” Sloan shouted, and then immediately regretted snapping at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got a pretty thick skin.” She grinned at him. “I could be wrong, but I think she’s more upset about you giving up on the relationship than you unintentionally choking her. She understands your PTSD, more than you realize.”
“But how can I trust myself not to hurt her again? The next time I could kill her.” Sloan said, putting his head in his hands.
“Don’t you think she has a right to make that decision for herself? You took the choice right out of her hands.” She rationalized. “If you choking her had of scared her bad enough, she would’ve ended it. But it obviously didn’t.”
“I know. But don’t you think that maybe we’re no good for each other?” Sloan asked, drawing at straws.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that. You told me that she helped bring you out of flashbacks and that you taught her how to defend herself, which in turn saved her life, from her ex. You taught her that she has plenty of inner strength. You taught her, what real love looks like. She gave your life purpose again. Your career is flourishing. You both are accepting of each other’s flaws, without judgment. You-”
“Alright, alright. I get it. We’re perfect for each other.” Sloan grumbled.
“I don’t know if any couple is ever perfect for each other. But I have to say that you two seem, pretty darn close. It’s just that when you’re both ready, you need to work on your relationship as a team. If, that’s what you both want? And from the looks of you both, a few weeks ago, I think you both want it very badly. There was plenty of love, passion, and attraction, between you two. Now comes the work.” She paused and leaned forward conspiratorially. “And pardon me for saying this, but both Melanie and I, are still fanning ourselves over the heat you two were cooking up, in my waiting room.” Dr. Mills winked at him and smiled brightly at Sloan’s corresponding blush.
“Uh…thanks?” Sloan said awkwardly. “But I still want to work on getting my head right, before going anywhere near her.”
“Sure, no problem. We can work on that.” She looked down at her notebook and continued. “So, you said that you’re having a hard time, focusing on specific happy moments between you both?”
“Yeah. I try to think of a great moment between us, and then a bad memory flashes through my mind. I’ve even tried focusing on the pictures that I have up, in my apartment. But nothing seems to work.” Sloan squeezed the stress ball she gave him like he was maniacally kneading dough.
“Well first things, first. You really do, have to forgive yourself, for that night. So I would suggest, you try writing a letter to yourself. Pretend as if it’s one, five or ten years in the future. And write it as if you’re giving your past-self advice. It can say to you; to forgive, to let go and how amazing your life has become. And when you start to feel like you’re drowning…read it. Read it, until you believe it.” Dr. Mills instructed.
“Okay. I think I can do that.” Sloan said, sounding slightly more hopeful.
“And another thing you can do, is listen to music. Often times, music, is strongly connected to memory. You’ll turn on the radio, and hear a song that you haven’t heard in forever, and the song instantly transports you to another place and time. If you have one, find a song that was playing at a time when you both were together, and happy. It will transport you to that moment, and then you can latch onto that. If you listen to the song enough and envision that moment enough, eventua
lly it becomes muscle memory. And that’s all you’ll see when you think of her.” The doctor said logically, breaking down the exercise.
“Alright. I’ll try it. Thanks, Doc.” Sloan said genuinely as he stood, his time over.
He bid Dr. Mills and Melanie farewell and walked out to his truck. Once in his truck, he pulled out his phone and pulled up a music store. He was anxious to start the exercise, tired of the horrific memories of Lexi. He knew he had a few songs that he wanted to use. And he quickly purchased and uploaded, The Way You Look Tonight and Cheek to Cheek. The two songs he and Lexi had danced to, at Dom’s wedding. It was a happy moment in time. And as soon as they were finished loading, he pressed play and closed his eyes. The Bluetooth in the truck, connected to his phone, and the music surrounded him, enveloping him in the warmth of a happy memory. And he saw Lexi, radiant and smiling, as he spun her around the dance floor. The image warmed his heart and made it ache for her, all at the same time. But more than anything, he was thrilled because it worked.
He took a deep calming breath, his eyes closed and leaned his head back against the headrest of the car seat, as he held on to the memory. A small smile of relief touched his lips. It worked.
Now he just needed to go home, and write the letter to himself. He knew exactly what he wanted to say.
Chapter 7
Cry To Me
“So you mean to tell me that they are broken up? That Sloan dumped her?” Victoria asked Aaron, to be sure that she had heard him correctly, as they sat at one of their favorite restaurants, for lunch.
“Yep.” Aaron verified with a smile.
“So we don’t even need to scheme, to break them up? Are you certain? I need to know before I go and make a fool of myself.” Victoria asked again, to be sure.
“I told you. Lexi told Dom the other day, and Dom told Tony in confidence. Or maybe because she was tore up, from the floor up. They got drunk while Lexi told her the story. And usually Tony wouldn’t tell me something private that Dom has told him, but he figured I’d want to know this.” Aaron explained himself, again.
“I wonder why they broke up?” Victoria wondered, out loud.
“I don’t know the details. Tony just said that they couldn’t get past their differences.” Aaron shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter, anyway. All we need to know is that they’re fair game, now. You’re free to pursue him, and I can go after her. And all, without coming up with some elaborate plot, to break them up. Which I wasn’t really down with, to start.”
“This is the best news I’ve heard, in a long time. Game on.” Victoria smiled slyly, as she rubbed her hands together, with glee.
~~~
Lexi walked into the beautiful old, brown brick historical building that housed the law offices, of Grace at Law and Associates. She felt slightly underdressed, as she looked around at all the sharply dressed lawyers, legal assistants, and secretaries. For her meeting with Aaron, she had chosen a billowy yellow sundress that stopped at her knees, with simple sandals. She didn’t want to give Aaron the wrong impression, with getting too fancy but didn’t want to come in a pair of her paint stained palazzo pants or tank top, either. So she figured the happy colored and comfortable dress, would work fine.
Aaron had originally offered to take her to dinner when she finally called him back. But she didn’t want him thinking that it was a date. She wanted to keep it, as professional as possible. So she had suggested, meeting at his office. And she still wasn’t all that comfortable, meeting him in any setting. But she knew that doing the artwork, for a hot up-and-coming lawyer, could get her name out there, to all the right people. So she swallowed down her reservations and set up the meeting, anyway.
She walked up to the main reception desk. Where a pretty Latina with gorgeous dark hair that was pulled back in a severe bun, was sitting. She was in the middle of transferring a call and held up a finger to Lexi, letting her know that she’d be with her, in just a moment.
“Can I help you?” The woman asked politely after she ended the call.
“Hi, my name is Lexi Bolden. I’m here to meet with, Aaron Grace,” Lexi told her.
“Sure. Have a seat, and I’ll let him know that you’re here.” She instructed Lexi and picked up the phone, once more.
Lexi listened to her one-sided conversation while she sat down to wait. The receptionist hung up the phone and smiled brightly at Lexi.
“He’ll be with you, in just a moment. He’s just finishing up a meeting.” She informed her.
“Okay. Thanks.” Lexi said, and settled in, to wait patiently.
She looked around, at the barren off-white walls, dark trim, and crown molding, of the main outer office. She could tell that the office was freshly renovated, but it still held the older more traditional style, with a few touches of modern in the office furniture. And she contemplated what type of artwork, would work best in the space.
Aaron walked out of his office and shook hands with the other man that followed him out, pulling Lexi from her woolgathering. After the man left the building, Aaron turned to her, and a huge white smile, spread across his face. Lexi felt like she could be wrong, but the smile seemed to have a predatory quality to it. She hoped she was wrong because getting into a relationship, was not what she was looking for.
As usual, he was dressed impeccably well. He wore a light gray three piece suit that was tailored to perfection, a crisp white shirt, and a black and silver diagonal striped tie, with black dress shoes. The shoes were so shiny, she could probably see her reflection in them. His hair was freshly cut, in a perfect fade and brushed into shiny waves, on top. His handsome caramel face, belonging more on the pages of a magazine, than in a law office.
“Lexi.” Aaron breathed quietly, as she stood up to greet him. “It’s so nice to see you. It feels like it’s been forever.” He said, grabbing her hand with both of his massive hands and rubbing his thumb over her skin.
“It has been a little while.” Lexi smiled back, and awkwardly pulled her hand out of his, still not a fan of intimate touching, with people she was not close to.
“Come on. Let’s go in my office.” He held out one hand, towards the direction of his office, and the other he placed lightly on her lower back, to guide her.
Lexi shivered slightly at the touch and walked towards the office, she had seen him come out of. Once inside, Aaron closed the door and pointed to one of the ultra-modern black chairs, for her to sit in, in front of his huge, sleek chocolate brown desk. He walked up to the front of the desk and sat on the edge. With his pant leg hiked up on one leg, Lexi could see that his socks matched his tie, and in her mind she rolled her eyes. You’ve got to be kidding me! This guy is too perfect for words. There has got to be some pretty little high society girl that would be perfect for him.
“Have a seat, and let’s discuss some business.” Aaron started.
“Alright,” Lexi said, taking a seat in one of the extremely comfortable chairs. “Shoot.”
“Okay, so as I’m sure you’ve noticed, the walls in my office need some living up. As well as, my house. And I know that that is a lot of work, especially considering you have an art exhibit, coming up soon. But if you have the time, I’ll pay you…let’s say ten grand for the work.” Aaron offered, to Lexi’s astonishment.
Lexi had no idea why anyone would want her paintings, that much. But she had the distinct feeling that it was more her time and company that he wanted than her skill at painting a picture.
“That seems like an awfully high amount of money for my paintings when I don’t think you’ve even seen any of my work,” Lexi said, in disbelief.
“Dom has told me about your amazing work, and I heard that the portrait you did of Tanya Gillman was stunning. Plus, your exhibit is one of the hottest topics, among the wealthy set. That’s all I need to know.” Aaron smiled down at her.
Little did he know, that the praise only made Lexi more nervous, about the art opening. She prayed that her artwork was up to par, for the elite people
that would be attending the show.
“And besides, as many paintings as I need, it’s going to take up a lot of your time, and a lot of art supplies. So I’m hoping the ten grand is enough.” Aaron admitted.
“How many paintings do you need?” Lexi asked, warily.
“I’m not sure, exactly. But I’d like two for my private office.” He said gesturing to the room at large. “A couple for the main office, out there. And we have a couple of boardrooms that need some color, too. And as for my house, you know that I’d like at least one, in my home office, I need one, in my man-cave and living room.” Aaron paused and then gave her a somewhat seductive look, that would normally melt the panties off of most women, she was sure, but it made her cower in her chair. “Also, I wouldn’t mind one in my bedroom. Something striking, yet sensual.”
Lexi swallowed, nervously.
“Uh…okay. So about ten or more?” Lexi asked, after clearing her throat.
“Yeah. So, that’s about a grand per painting. Does that sound fair?” Aaron asked, with raised eyebrows.
“More than.” Lexi agreed. “But it may take me some time.”
“Take all the time you need. That’s not a problem at all.” Aaron said, sweetly.
I bet it isn’t. Just more time for you to try to wear me down.
“Did you have anything in mind? Traditional? Abstract? Landscape? City-scape? Portraits? Anything?” Lexi asked, trying to get a feel for his style.
“I’ll leave that up to you. Surprise me.” Aaron said, without concern.
“Well, just so you know, I don’t do dogs playing cards. So if that’s what you wanted in your man-cave, you’ve got another thing coming.” Lexi said, with a sassy edge to her voice.
Aaron chuckled loudly, at her spunk.
“No dogs, I swear,” Aaron said, with hands raised in surrender.
“Fantastic.” Lexi smiled, genuinely.