“I told you I wasn’t hungry.”
“And I told you-you need to keep your strength up. If you want something else I’ll get it the choice is yours.”
She snatched up the leftover salad and stuffed some lettuce in her mouth while shooting daggers across the room with her eyes.
“Good, you’re learning, it’s best not to argue with me.” She turned that look on me but the look on my face warned her not to push her damn luck.
My phone went off and I left the room to answer. It was mom with the news I’d been waiting for. I went back to the room feeling a little better that I could do something for her.
“Dr. Spencer is going to get in touch with the doctor here and decide what’s the best course of action to take.” I said it as easily as I could without making it into a big deal.
“Really?” She put down her salad and looked at me with such hope it twisted my heart. How afraid has she been this whole time?
“Yes really.”
Just then the child woke up and started to fret. I watched her as she moved over to the bed to offer comfort.
“Mommy!” The little voice touched something inside me. At least I was reassured that I’m not a complete monster who could hate a child because she wasn’t mine.
She was very careful as she took the child in her arms and calmed her. “Mommy’s here baby girl.” She tested her head for fever and fed her some ice chips that had been sitting in a cup.
The little angel finally noticed me and hid her face in her mother’s side. “There’s nothing to be afraid of baby, this is mommy’s boss from work. He came all the way here just to see you and look.”
She reached for the bears and balloons Gavin had bought earlier and the child’s face lit up. It was strange seeing her in this new light, as a mother. It was going to take some getting used to.
I didn’t expect her to be a virgin, but knowing that she’d once been that close to someone else made me feel off.
In the world I move in, women switch bed partners as often as their underwear, so why did it bother me so much that this one had had a life before me?
As I watched her taking so much care of another man’s child I knew what I had to do. Get one of my own in her as soon as fucking possible.
That’s the only way I can think of to tame this beast that had been awakened in me. There was envy, anger, jealousy, all dark emotions running riot in my heart.
I didn’t like the feelings but I didn’t know how else to rid myself of them. And the only thing that came to mind was to breed her the first chance I get.
She had no idea as she read her child a story that I was plotting her future in my head. It was suddenly the most important thing in the world for me to get her with child, my child.
I sat in quiet contemplation as I watched her rock the child to sleep. She looked good doing it, like she was born to be a mother and I wondered what else she was good at.
Her talents as an architect were obvious, and now seeing her here in this domesticated scene, my mind was running away with itself.
What was she like in bed? Was she passive or will that fire she tries so hard to keep in check be unleashed once I get between her thighs?
She pulled the covers up around the child and sat for a minute watching her, bringing me back to the present.
“What’s her name?” I looked at the little head on the pillow.
“Amber.” She smoothed the sheet over the child lovingly.
“Amber Gritti?”
“Yes!”
“Is that her father’s name?”
“Yes, he named her before she was born.” I gritted my teeth and looked away from her. She still carried his name. Just how deeply in love was she with this guy?
And why the fuck are you this jealous of a dead man? How the fuck should I know? It was obvious that I’d lost my damn mind and was suffering some kind of meltdown.
“I’ll be right back.” I left the room and went for a walk and some fresh air to clear my head. What a hell of a day. I realized I was this out of sorts because I’d been side swiped by all this.
I had no idea that she’d had this whole other life before she came to me and now my mind was filled with all the dark spaces that were left open.
What else was I going to find when I go searching later? Is there someone else in her life now? There better fucking not be.
No matter, if there is I’ll just have to set her straight. No one else is going to have her but me. I stormed back into the building intent on telling her ass just that but got waylaid by the doctor.
“Dr. Spencer will be here tomorrow afternoon at the latest. We didn’t think it was a good idea to move the child right now so it’s best that he comes here.”
“Very well, make sure I get the bill.” I gave him one of my cards. “Did you tell her mother already?”
“No, I was just on my way to give her the news now.”
“No need, I’ll tell her myself. Is there anything else we should be doing right now to make her comfortable?”
“No, we’re doing all that we can. The most important thing is to keep her calm and let her little body rest. I have no doubt that with Dr. Spencer’s help and expertise she’ll be good as new in no time.”
“Okay thanks.” I headed to the elevator and back up to the room to give her the good news. I stopped just outside the door looking at in at her through the glass.
She looked so worried and so damn alone. My family wasn’t huge but at least we had each other. I made a silent promise to be there for her from now on. I never want to see her looking like this again.
She looked up when I walked in and I took no time in telling her the good news. The look on her face made some of the darkness fade.
“I don’t know how to thank you. I can never repay you.”
“I didn’t ask you to. No one should have to watch their child suffer because they don’t have enough money to pay for their care.”
I was actually surprised that she hadn’t put up more of a fight knowing her penchant for opposing me at every turn.
Thankfully she seemed more interested in saving her child’s life than in butting heads with me. Still I had to ask. I can never take anything for granted when it comes to her.
“I’m a little surprised that you didn’t give me more of an argument.” She took her time answering and when she did I wished I hadn’t asked.
“She’s all I have left of Richard there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.” Dammit!
9
I didn’t say shit else to her for the next few hours, just sat there with her as she watched over the child.
I needed to find an outlet for my unreasonable anger, but I didn’t want to leave her here alone. It broke my heart that the two of them seemed to be all alone in the world.
One was no bigger than my thigh, hooked up to machines and tubes that no innocent should have to endure.
And the other was little more than a child herself. She might be older than I thought in years, but life had knocked her around quite a bit.
That’s where that air of innocence came from I suppose. The more I sat there the less I thought about her husband and the more I wanted to take care of her.
Seeing the love she had for the child, I wanted to take care of her too, little Amber. I got lost in thought as I moved things around in my head to add the child to my plans.
I didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until her head rolled to the side. Without thinking I pulled my chair closer and put my arm around her, pulling her head onto my shoulder.
I rested my head back against the chair and closed my eyes for some much needed rest and when I woke up she was staring up at me.
“What is it? Did something happen?” she didn’t seem to notice that I’d come awake and my voice startled her.
She moved away from my shoulder and fixed her hair before getting up to walk over to the bed where Amber was still asleep.
“I’ll go get us some dinner, anything in particula
r you want to eat?” Feeding her was about all I could do for her for now. It wasn’t much but at least it kept me from feeling completely helpless.
“Whatever you bring is fine, I don’t have much of an appetite.” She was back to being reserved and I had a feeling it had something to do with whatever she was doing while I was still asleep.
I’d awakened to find her staring at me with her head still on my shoulder. Why hadn’t she moved once she awakened to find herself in my arms?
My step was lighter when I stepped off the elevator and headed outside in search of dinner. I wasn’t sure what she liked so I got her three choices, chicken, steak and fish, how can I go wrong?
She laughed when I came back laden down with the bags of food and I stopped and stared at her. I’d never seen her laugh like that before, at least not with me.
The sound went straight to my heart and made it feel lighter, warmer. Not to mention the sensations in my dick. “What’s so funny?”
“What did you do, buy out the restaurant? I hope you’re not expecting me to eat all of that.”
“No, I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I got one of everything.”
I put the bags on the table and moved to the bed to look down at the sleeping child. “Did she wake up while I was gone?”
“Only for a little bit. It’s good, rest is the best thing for her right now while the machine helps her to breathe.”
There was a catch in her throat when she said the words and for the first time that day I thought she would break.
“Come here.” She looked at me questioningly when I opened my arms to her. I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her for the first time.
Everything inside me settled into place, while other parts of me that never seemed to rest whenever she was around, came fully alive.
She held herself stiff for the first few seconds, but when I kissed her forehead gently the simple action seemed to release her.
I felt her shoulders shake before I heard the first sob. I closed my eyes against the pain her tears caused and let her cry. “It’s okay sweetheart, I’m here; it’s going to be okay.”
That only made her cry harder so I lifted her in my arms and sat on the chair with her on my lap. Her tears soaked through my shirt and tore a hole in my heart.
“Please stop.” I held her head against my chest and rocked her in my arms the way she’d done with little Amber.
I never knew a woman’s tears could have such an affect on me. I’d have given half my wealth just to stop her from crying.
Each sob felt like a dagger piercing my heart and I felt helpless, something I am not used to and did not handle well. I wanted to put my fist through something, but what? And what good would that do?
“Baby I told you to stop crying I can’t take it. Everything is going to be okay. The specialist will be here and he’ll see to Amber and she’ll never have to go through this again.”
I was talking fast, saying whatever came into my head, anything to stop her from ripping my heart out of my chest. But the more I talked the harder she cried so I just shut up and held her close.
When she’d cried herself out and her sobs turned to sniffles thank fuck, she tried to jump off my lap. I tightened my hold.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She stopped all movement and did that stiffening thing again.
“The food’s getting cold.” I’m sure that’s what you’re thinking about. I let her go but never took my eyes off of her as she opened the containers and looked at the food that was still hot thankfully.
She chose the fish with vegetables and I had the steak. I had to browbeat her into eating every damn morsel that went into her mouth and it was obvious she was back to being her pain in the ass self.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing what?”
“All this. The specialist, the…”
“Would you have preferred me to let your child suffer? What do you take me for? Eat your food and don’t annoy me.”
I said it with enough warmth in my voice so she’d know I was just playing with her. Another first for me.
From her reaction to my interest it was obvious that she’d been alone for way too long. That there was no one else taking care of her, of them.
I can’t imagine the burden of having a sick child and no one to help. I tried to imagine my own mother in the same predicament and didn’t like the results one bit.
I asked her about her life, avoiding anything to do with the man she’d been married to. I wasn’t ready for that shit, didn’t know how to handle the feelings it evoked in me whenever I even thought of him.
I learned about her years in school, her dedication to making something better of her life after being raised in the foster system.
I learned of the struggles she’d faced since being orphaned at an early age, all alone in the world without anyone to care for her. Every word broke my fucking heart in pieces.
I wanted to tell her that that was all behind her now; that she never had to worry about anything ever again.
But I knew if I moved too fast I’d only spook her; she had no reason to believe me besides. Plus I was pretty sure she’d only argue me to death at this early stage in the game. So I kept my thoughts to myself. I’ll just show her.
10
It was obvious that she planned to spend the night so I arranged with the nurses to bring her a cot to sleep on. I couldn’t have her sleeping on the chair that was sure to be uncomfortable.
I was just my usual self when they tried explaining to me that that wasn’t possible, and it wasn’t long before someone was bringing a cot into the room.
“Go to sleep, I’ll watch over you both.”
“I can’t ask you to do that you’ve been here all day as it is. There’s a lot that needs to be done to prepare for the trip…”
“That’s been postponed. I can’t imagine that you’d want to leave your child like this so I’ve asked Gavin to call the client…”
“What, you can’t do that.”
“Were you planning to go and leave Amber here like this?”
“No, but we can send someone else in my place.”
“No we’re not. This is your hard work no one else is taking credit for it. I’m sure the client will understand. In fact Gavin got back to me already with their answer and they’ve given us an extension.”
“But…”
“It’s settled Giavanna, all you need to do right now is concentrate on Amber and let me handle the rest. Who takes care of her while you’re at work?”
“I have a sitter from an agency…”
“Is she reliable, is that who you were planning to leave her with while you go to Europe?”
“Yes, she’s very reliable she’s been with us since we moved here a couple months ago and she knows all about Amber’s health issues.”
I could see and hear her angst in every word and knew she’d been having a hard time with her decision to leave her child behind.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a child?” She took a minute to answer and I knew she was choosing her words well.
“It just never came up I guess. Besides, you’re usually growling at me about something or other, when was I supposed to bring it up?”
“Smartass, go to sleep.” I got settled in the chair as she tossed around on the bed until she got comfortable.
I watched her from beneath lowered lids until she finally fell asleep, then my attention shifted to the child.
So small, so helpless; she needs me too. How can I have the mother without the child? It’s not possible and I’m not that much of a monster.
The poor little thing looked so helpless and alone, and I imagined my woman at that age, alone in the world with no one to love her.
At this rate by the time the two of them are done with me I won’t have any heart left because they’d have taken it all.
She made a noise in her sleep and tried to turn but the tubes got in her way.
I eased over to the bed and tried to settle her so she didn’t wake her mother.
As I sat there running my hand over her little head to calm her in her sleep my heart opened up just a little to make room for her next to her mother.
Once she was settled again I took up vigil in my chair once more to watch over the two of them. I must’ve dozed off from sheer exhaustion, because next thing I knew the child was whimpering.
My eyes flew to her mother who was out cold.
I got up and went over to her. “What is it sweetheart, do you hurt?” I tested her forehead and found her a little warm to the touch.
Panic gripped me in the gut and I flew out the door and down the hall to the nurse’s station. The two women sitting there looked up at my approach.
“The baby’s awake, she’s hot, take care of her.” They rushed by me and into the room to check her over.
All the movement woke Gia, who sat up with a start and a look of terror on her face. How often does she do that?
Wake up with the fear of her child being hurt or worse? “It’s nothing to worry about, she’s fine, it’s just time for her medication.”
The nurse assured us before leaving the room and returning minutes later. She injected something into the IV and left.
Gia climbed into bed with Amber and held her and I caught the little girl peeping under her mother’s arm at me.
Now that she was awake it was easy to see more of her mother in her. They had the same lips, and around the forehead was the same.
Her hair and eyes were most likely from her father. She was tiny so it was obvious she was going to take after her mother in stature as well.
The more I watched the two of them together, the less I thought of the man who’d played a part in her conception and focused more on the woman who had stolen my heart.
Her love for the child was evident and each time I caught those little eyes staring at me curiously, I felt a little more of my jealous anger fade.
Now I was sitting here wondering how I could’ve been mad at the child for being born. What an ass.
I was still not sure how to feel about the love she’d borne her dead husband though, that shit still stuck in my craw.
Jealous Alpha Page 4