Seeds of Hope

by Barbara Cameron

  “Not tired. Just want to go see Miriam.”

  “Schur. She’ll be so happy to hear your gut news.”

  “That’s not the only reason I want to see her.”

  “Nee?”

  Mark shook his head. As much as he wanted to tell his grandfather he hoped for more good news that day, he needed to see Miriam. For all he knew, she’d become serious about that Luke guy. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach at the thought. He didn’t want to get his grandfather’s hopes up.

  “Be back soon.”

  “Take your time.”

  Mark wanted to say, “Wish me luck,” but it wasn’t luck he hoped for. He’d done his best to wait for God’s plan for him. And now he hoped Miriam was part of His plan.

  He rushed out the door to hitch the buggy up to go see her.

  Thirty

  “Miriam?”

  “Mhh hmm?” She blinked. The room was dim. She must have fallen asleep.

  “Mark’s here to see you,” her mudder said from the doorway.

  She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Was she dreaming?

  “Kumm downstairs.”

  “Allrecht.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and wondered if she was still asleep.

  She hurried over to the mirror, redid her hair, and pinned on a fresh kapp. It took just a few minutes to change her dress, but there was nothing she could do about the sleep crease in her cheek. Sighing, she went downstairs.

  Mark sat with a cup of coffee while the family finished supper. He smiled at her when she walked into the room.

  “You’re back.”

  He nodded. “I thought I’d see if we could go for a drive.”

  “I – schur.”

  “I didn’t call you for supper,” her mudder explained. “I thought you needed the rest more. Do you want to fix me a plate for you? Mark says he’s already had supper.”

  “I’ll eat later,” Miriam said as she slipped into her jacket and tied on her bonnet.

  They walked outside.

  “Where’s your car?”

  “Back at the farm.”

  “Something wrong with it?”

  “No.”

  She frowned as he climbed into John’s buggy and picked up the reins. He’d taken her for a drive in John’s buggy before, but seemed to prefer his Englisch car. There was an air of suppressed excitement about him.

  “Actually, it’s probably better if I don’t drive the car for a day or two,” he said with a grin. “I almost got a speeding ticket on the way home.”

  “You?” She stared at him.

  “Well, it’s easy to do if you’re distracted and driving a car like mine.”

  “I suppose. It’s just that I thought . . .”

  “You thought?”

  “I guess I think you’re perfect.”

  He laughed. “Hardly.” He sobered. “You’re the only perfect person I know.”

  Now it was her turn to laugh and shake her head. “I had this dream the other day. I was standing on some stairs and my bruders and schweschders were below me. When I woke up, I realized that I’ve always tried hard to teach and inspire them. But lately they’ve been letting me know they get tired of lessons at home. I’ve had trouble leaving the teacher at schul.” She stared at her hands. “And we inspire by doing and being, not by teaching and telling.”

  “True.” He reached into the back for a blanket and handed it to her. “Are you warm enough? These things aren’t the warmest this time of year.”

  Miriam spread the blanket over her lap and legs. “I’m fine. Danki.”

  “I put some hot chocolate in a thermos.”

  “That sounds gut. Do you want some?”

  “No. Just had a cup of your mom’s coffee. You have some since you haven’t eaten.”

  She picked up the thermos, unscrewed the top, and poured some hot chocolate into it.

  “How’s the headache? Your mom said you came home with one and you were lying down.”

  “Better.”

  “Maybe we should stop and get you something to eat.”

  “This is enough. I’m not really hungry.” She took a careful sip of the chocolate, making sure it wasn’t too hot. “You put little marshmallows in it.”

  “That’s the way you like it.”

  He remembered!

  “So how did it go?” she asked as he looked both directions before easing onto the road.

  “Couldn’t have gone better. The witness Lou found made his statement to police, they’ve picked up two gang members who murdered the man Maurice was accused of killing, and Maurice should be getting out of jail very soon.”

  “That’s wunderbaar.”

  He nodded.

  “I thought maybe, when you didn’t come back yesterday, that your boss had asked you back to work.”

  “He called when the news broke on TV today. Said to call his assistant and arrange for a meeting with him later this week.”

  She twisted her hands in her lap. “That’s gut news.”

  He nodded. “Guess so.”

  “You guess so? Why, what he did was so unfair to you, he—” she broke off when he chuckled, and froze when he picked up one of her hands and kissed it.

  “It’s a lucky man who has such a champion.”

  “Are you laughing at me?”

  He turned to her and studied her with a serious expression. “Never. I’m not sure if I could have gotten through these past months without your support.”

  “Yes, well, John believed in you, too.”

  “He did. But not in the same way. You understood better. Just as you always have.”

  “That’s what friends are for.”

  “Friends, Miriam? Or more?”

  Her heart leaped into her throat. “I . . . if you go back to your world, there can’t be more. You know that.”

  “Do you want more, Miriam?”

  “You’re not being fair.”

  Mark looked down at her hand. “No, I’m not. What if I said that I want more?”

  “More?”

  “So many Amish couples start off as good friends. Then they get married.”

  “What are you saying?” Her throat was suddenly dry. She took a sip of the hot chocolate and tasted the sticky sweetness of marshmallow.

  “I wonder if we’d have gotten married.”

  Miriam choked.

  Mark hadn’t realized he’d shock her that much. Or that she’d have such a violent reaction. He thumped her on her back until she held up her hand.

  “Stop!” she gasped. “I’m allrecht!”

  “Shocking thought, huh?”

  Miriam wiped the tears from her eyes. “Let’s say unexpected.” She took another sip of the hot chocolate and felt better.

  Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he should wait, let her get adjusted to the idea.

  No, he’d never been one to take the easy way, the slow and patient way.

  “I love you,” he said. “It’s taken this time here to realize it, Miriam.”

  “You love me as a friend.” She said it slowly, cautiously.

  “As a friend. And more. Did I wait too long, Miriam? I know you’ve been seeing Luke.” He reached for her hand, wanting the connection.

  She shook her head. “I only saw him when I thought you and I could never be more than friends. Mark, I’ve loved you for years.”

  “Years? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “I was so afraid you’d think I was just a foolish Amish maedel.”

  “You could never be foolish. Marry me, Miriam.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks and her lips trembled. “I can’t do that, Mark. I wish I could be the biblical Ruth, but I can’t leave my family, my church. This life. I’d be shunned if I married Englisch.”

  “I guess I’m not explaining myself very well.” He squeezed her hand. “I know we haven’t touched much. It’s not something a single man does with a young Amish woman. But feel my hand, Miriam. Do you notice anything different?”

/>   She took it in both of her hands and stroked it, feeling the calluses. When she looked up at him he saw that she felt them.

  “I realized today that I have farmer’s hands now. I’ve always loved working here on the farm, but it was a part-time love, something that was a small part of my life. It’s more now, Miriam, because of you and my grandfather.” He gave a half-laugh. “And in some ways, because of the whole detour in the life I thought I wanted.” He took a deep breath. “I’m staying, Miriam. Here. On the farm. And I hope you’ll be my wife and help me with it.”

  “But you said your boss wants you back.”

  “He can’t have me. I’m staying, with or without you. But I hope with you.” He looked down at her hands. “I won’t offer you an engagement ring. That’s not done here. But you’ll have my heart and my promise that I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”

  She started to speak, but he raised his hand and touched a finger to her lips. “I have to talk to Samuel, find out what I need to do to join the church. Maybe I should have found out what’s necessary before I asked you, but I needed to know if I had any chance with you.”

  “It’s not a life that’s easy for an Englischer.”

  “Well, half Englischer.”

  “Very Englisch sometimes. What about your condo? Your car with the fancy initials?”

  “Things. “ He shrugged. “Miriam, do you really think I don’t know this isn’t an easy life? I’m not looking for easy. I’m looking to have a life with love. Family. Friends. Community.”

  “Are you schur?”

  “Very schur.”

  She laughed and it was a sound of pure joy. “Oh, I couldn’t dream something this wunderbaar.”

  “Then you’ll marry me.”

  “Ya, I’ll marry you and be your fraa.”

  They kissed and sealed the promise. When they drew apart, her eyes were shining with love.

  “Let’s go tell John,” she said

  Mark nodded, picked up the reins with one hand, and drew her close. “I told him I was staying on the farm, but I didn’t tell him about you. I didn’t want to get his hopes up.”

  “He’s hinted to me that he hoped we’d get together, but I told him that could never happen.” She looked up at him. “I wonder how much of his asking you to come here was wanting to pass the farm to you, and how much might have been some matchmaking.”

  “You might be right. Planting seeds?”

  She nodded.

  It was early still, but Mark wondered if his grandfather would still be up. They found him sitting in his recliner reading the Budget. Not only did he look wide awake, but his gaze instantly latched onto Miriam holding his hand.

  “Granddad. We have something to tell you.”

  John shot out of his chair with the agility of a much younger man. “Ya?”

  “We’re getting married. I need to talk to Samuel, find out what I need to do. But we’re getting married in the church. Miriam will be my wife. My fraa,” he said, testing the Pennsylvania Dietsch word he’d be using more when he lived here.

  John beamed and embraced Miriam first, then him. “I can’t believe it. God is gut,” he said and he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his eyes. “It’s more than I hoped for.” He looked at Mark. “She’s always been like a grossdochder to me.”

  “And you like a grossdaadi to me,” Miriam said, wiping away her own tears.

  “Have you told your parents?”

  Miriam shook her head. “We wanted you to know. But I don’t think my mudder will be surprised. She knows how I feel about Mark.”

  “You should go tell them now.”

  “Later,” Miriam said. “Mark and I have a lot to talk about.”

  “Then I’ll let you young people talk. Gut nacht.” He hugged them both and made his way to the stairs that led to his bedroom.

  “We’ll start with some practical things,” Mark said, taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen.

  “Practical things?”

  “Food first. You haven’t eaten. Can’t have you passing out from hunger.”

  She laughed. “That’s not likely.”

  He released her hand and opened the refrigerator. “Looks like there’s some ham and navy bean soup left. It’s really good.”

  “Is it?” She gave him an impish grin.

  “I had two helpings at supper. Or would you like me to make you some eggs? I make good scrambled eggs.”

  She sat at the table. “I had no idea you cooked.”

  “A single man learns to or he ends up eating too much takeout. Well, I’ve been known to do that because I used to work too much, but yes, I can cook a little.”

  He warmed the soup, got what was left of the cornbread from the bread box, and set it before her with the dish of butter. When the soup was warm, he ladled it into a bowl and served her.

  “Miriam, what do you really think your parents will say when we tell them?”

  “They’ll be happy if they know I’m happy,” she said firmly. “They’ve known you for years.”

  “Still . . .” he trailed off. “I got the distinct impression they were concerned when we would go for rides in my car.”

  “That was when you were an Englisch attorney and could take me away from them, from the church and the community.”

  “True.”

  She picked up her spoon, then hesitated. “Mark, aren’t you worried about what your parents will say?”

  He reached for her hand. “Like you said, they’ll be happy if they know I’m happy,” he told her, using her words and the firm tone she’d used as well.

  She smiled. “I hope you’re right.”

  “Eat.”

  Mark sat with her while she ate, in the room where she’d so often prepared meals for his grandfather and him. They would share many evenings like this in the years to come. John would move into the dawdi haus—the living quarters the Englisch called a mother-in-law apartment—and be a daily part of their lives. If they were lucky, children would one day sit around this old wooden table like he had from the time he’d come here to spend summers with his grandfather, like his own father had until he’d left the community. Miriam would be such a good mother and teach them as she did her own brothers and sisters and the children at the school she loved.

  “You’re being quiet,” she prompted.

  So he told her his thoughts, and as she listened, her tears flowed once again.

  Mark pulled a fresh handkerchief from his briefcase. She stared at it in surprise. He shrugged. “Kind of an old-fashioned thing, I guess. But I like having one on hand.”

  “It’s not old-fashioned here.”

  He glanced at the clock. “I wonder if Maurice is home yet. His mother told me to tell him she’d cook him his favorite supper as soon as he got there.”

  “You’re schur you won’t miss your work? Your life?”

  “That work was part of my life. I can still use it to help people in a different way, like I did with Abraham and Lovina, and with Saul. But I want a different life here, on the farm, with you.”

  He took her hands in his. “There’s a saying in my old world. You can work so hard you make a living but you don’t make a life. I started making a life when I came home this time.”

  He spotted the seed catalogs lying on the kitchen counter. “The other day, my grandfather and I made out the order for the seeds for the spring planting. Just think. I’ll get to plant crops this time, and see them all the way through to the harvest. I’ve never had the chance to do that before. I imagine it’ll be like worrying and watching over your own children.” He smiled at her. “I think I’m going to like doing that a lot. As long as I have you by my side.”

  Glossary

  ab im kop—off in the head. Crazy.

  ach—oh

  allrecht—all right

  boppli—baby

  bruder—brother

  daed—dad

  danki—thank you

  dat—father

&n
bsp; dawdi haus—a small home added to or near the main house into which the farmer moves after passing the farm to one of his children.

  Der hochmut kummt vor dem fall.—Pride goeth before the fall.

  Deitsch—Pennsylvania German

  dippy eggs—over-easy eggs

  dochder—daughter

  eck—the corner of the wedding table where the newly married couple sits

  Englisch—what the Amish call a non-Amish person

  fraa—wife

  grossdaadi—grandfather

  grossdochder—granddaughter

  grosseldres—grandparents

  grosskinner—grandchildren

  grossmudder—grandmother

  grosssohn—grandson

  guder mariye—good morning

  gut—good

  gut-n-owed—good evening

  hochmut—pride

  hungerich—hungry

  kapp—prayer covering or cap worn by girls and women

  kind, kinner—child, children

  kumm—come

  lieb—love. Term of endearment

  liebschen—dearest or dear one

  maedel—young single Amish woman

  mamm—mom

  mann—husband

  mudder—mother

  nacht—night

  nee—no

  newehocker—wedding attendant

  onkel—uncle

  Ordnung—The rules of the Amish, both written and unwritten. Certain behavior has been expected within the Amish community for many, many years. These rules vary from community to community, but the most common are to have no electricity in the home, to not own or drive an automobile, and to dress a certain way.

  redd up—clean up

  roasht—roast. A stuffing or dressing side dish.

  rumschpringe—time period when teenagers are allowed to experience the Englisch world while deciding if they should join the church.

  scholars—Amish students

  schul—school

  schur—sure

  schweschder—sister

  sohn—son

  verboten—forbidden, not done

  wilkumm—welcome

  wunderbaar—wonderful

  ya—yes

  zwillingbopplin—twins

  Discussion Questions

  Spoiler alert! Please don’t read before completing the book, as the questions contain spoilers!