Dear Maggie

by Brenda Novak

  “I wouldn’t touch her if I were you,” he muttered to Brian.

  Brian’s eyes widened. “Did you say what I think you said?”

  “No,” Maggie interrupted. “Nick’s a big jokester. Ha, ha, ha. Funny, funny. You’d better get back to Zach,” she said and started Brian across the porch ahead of her so he couldn’t hear what she was about to say to Nick. “Or you’re going to be standing on my porch with your luggage again tonight, only this time you’ll be heading in the opposite direction!”

  NICK COULDN’T TAKE IT anymore.

  He turned off the television and checked on Zach, who was sleeping peacefully in his room, then resorted to shuffling restlessly through the dark house, listening for the sound of a car out front. It was well after midnight. Maggie was nearly an hour and a half late. Where was she?

  Remembering the condoms made Nick’s stomach hurt. Had she purchased them for her big date? Were she and Brian Whatever-His-Name-Was back at his place right now?

  God, he hoped not. Nick couldn’t stand the thought of it.

  Why hadn’t he gotten Brian’s license plate number? Or his driver’s license? Then he could trace him if—

  Headlights swung into the drive, and an engine shifted into idle. Nick went to one of the living room windows and watched from a crack in the blind as Brian got out, walked around the car and opened Maggie’s door.

  “Don’t kiss her,” he muttered. “Please don’t kiss her.”

  Brian moved closer to Maggie, causing Nick’s jaw to clench. If they kissed, and it was a deep, openmouthed kiss, he’d have his answer. If, on the other hand, Brian gave Maggie a simple peck on the lips, they’d probably saved the condoms for another day. Either way, Nick longed to toss Brian Brown Eyes back into his car and tell him to get lost. He felt Brian had it coming. The jerk said he’d have Maggie back at eleven, and he was an hour and a half late.

  Nick heard Maggie say she’d had a great time as Brian walked her to the front porch, and wished he could say the same. He’d enjoyed Zach. Maggie’s little boy was incredibly bright and sweet. But the minutes had dragged by, teeming with suspicion and angst, even a kind of pain Nick had never experienced before. He doubted he could survive many more of her “dates.”

  Changing windows, he watched from the front room as Brian and Maggie talked for a few minutes longer beneath the porch light at the front door.

  “Any chance you’d be interested in going out with me again?” Brian asked.

  “Over my dead body,” Nick muttered.

  “Sure,” Maggie responded. “Why don’t you give me a call?”

  Nick winced at the cheerfulness in her voice. She liked him, all right, he thought grimly.

  “You don’t think your…um…roommate will mind?” Brian asked.

  “He has no right to mind,” Maggie assured him. “We’re just friends.”

  “Say good-night and go,” Nick said.

  Evidently, Brian wasn’t in any hurry. “You might think so, but he was acting suspiciously possessive. Are you sure he doesn’t have any feelings for you?”

  “Yes,” Maggie said.

  “No,” Nick breathed. And that simple admission was enough to twist whatever it was inside him that was already knotted and hurting.

  “That’s good,” Brian said, and then he dipped his head as though to kiss Maggie. Because of the angle of the window, Nick couldn’t see where his kiss landed or how much Maggie participated, but it caused all the muscles in his body to bunch.

  “Good night,” he heard Brian say, finally leaving, and then keys jingled in the lock and Maggie came inside.

  “Have a good time?” Nick asked, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the wall. He made no move to pretend he hadn’t been spying on them. He was hoping she’d call him on it. He was spoiling for a fight; at this point, he didn’t care.

  “It was fine,” Maggie said and started down the hall, but he could tell by her clipped sentence that she was as angry with him as he was with her.

  “Fine? That’s it?” he asked, following her. He wasn’t willing to let it go. He couldn’t.

  “What more do you want to hear?”

  “Did you kiss him?”

  They reached the kitchen, and she flipped on the light. “Is it any of your business if I did?”

  “No.” He stabbed a hand through his hair. “Yes, dammit. You’re driving me crazy, Maggie. I want you so badly I hurt all over, and yet—” He stopped. How did he explain why he couldn’t have her? How did he tell her he was frightened to make a commitment he might not be able to keep? That he felt unsure she’d be able to forgive him for the deceptions of his job? Did he even have the right to ask?

  She was staring at him, but now the look on her face spoke more of surprise than anger. “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you love me?” She asked the question softly, as though everything in their future depended on his answer.

  Nick could hear his own heart beating in the silence. Did he love her? He wasn’t sure. He knew he’d never felt this way about a woman before. Whether or not that meant he could uproot his life and make the changes in his work that a permanent relationship with Maggie would require wasn’t something he could predict at this moment.

  “I care about you,” he admitted. “So much that I can’t think about anything else. I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you. I thought I’d lose my mind tonight, wondering, imagining…” His voice broke, and he fell silent as he tried to read her reaction. Would the truth be enough? Did she feel the same way?

  “I must be the biggest fool in history,” she said at last, “but God help me, I can’t turn my back on you.”

  Nick let his breath hiss between his teeth and crossed the floor to take her in his arms. She felt so…right, like she belonged, like she would always belong. He wasn’t making another mistake; he was sure of it.

  “You won’t regret this in the morning?” he asked.

  “I can’t even imagine tomorrow,” she said. “There’s only tonight.” Then she slipped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips greedily to his, and Nick’s response was so instantaneous and powerful and overwhelming that he knew he was lost. For better or worse…

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “WHY DIDN’T YOU BUY TWO?” Nick asked, frowning at the box of condoms on the dresser. “We’re almost out.”

  Maggie laughed and pulled the sheet higher. She was so relaxed she could hardly rouse herself to speak. “I wasn’t planning to use the first one.”

  “People don’t buy condoms unless they plan to use them,” he said, rolling over and pinning her beneath him in the bed.

  Maggie gave him a challenging grin. “I was more interested in the brownies.”

  “Liar,” he said. “The next time you go shopping for birth control, get—”

  “There’s not going to be a next time,” she said between kisses. “From now on, that’s your job.” She didn’t add, “until you leave.” She didn’t want to think about that. There were more crucial matters for the moment, like the fact that Zach would be up any minute. And Detective Mendez would be calling to see if she’d gotten the Fillmore letters. And Ben would want her latest article. And she had to write John and tell him what she’d done….

  Poor John. She hadn’t even opened his present. Not that she felt right about accepting it now.

  “You have to go to your own room,” she told Nick as he kissed her neck, then her nose. “It’s six-thirty. Zach gets up around seven.”

  “That gives us half an hour.”

  “What if he gets up early?”

  Nick groaned. “Can’t this be my room?”

  If he planned to marry her, it could. Maggie wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him. Regardless of everything she’d done to avoid it, she’d fallen madly in love with Nick Sorenson, and letting him into her bed as well as her heart had o
nly sealed her fate. But she wasn’t about to ask him for a commitment. She knew he had to come to that on his own. “No. I don’t want Zach to find a naked man in my bed.”

  “Zach’s three. He won’t notice—”

  “Yes, he will.”

  The telephone rang, and Nick slid to the side so she could answer it. Maggie was expecting it to be Ben or Mendez. She wasn’t expecting her mother.

  “Maggie, tell me you don’t have a man living with you,” Rosalyn Anderson demanded without preamble.

  Oh, my gosh! What did Brian Wordelly do? Wake her mother up in the middle of the night to pass on that little tidbit of information?

  “Um…”

  “Who is it?” Nick murmured, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her backside into the cradle of his naked body.

  Maggie stiffened and motioned for him to be silent. How could she explain the situation to her mother? “Mom, it’s just a temporary arrangement,” she said. “A friend from work needed a place to stay.”

  “Brian Wordelly said it looked like more than that to him.”

  Maggie couldn’t care less what it looked like to Brian Wordelly. And she certainly didn’t appreciate his reporting it. He’d been nice enough, but there’d been no chemistry. A half hour into their date, Maggie had known that a relationship between them would never go anywhere, regardless of what happened with Nick. Brian was very much a momma’s boy, for one, and he liked to whine and complain. Maggie had played along because the date wasn’t as bad as some her mother had arranged, but she had no intention of being anything more than a friend to him. Now she wasn’t sure she wanted even that much of a relationship.

  “Is it that man you told me about—John?”

  Maggie ran a hand through her tangled hair, feeling a fresh wave of guilt at the mention of John’s name. “No.”

  A pause, then, “I don’t know about you, Maggie. What will your neighbors think? What kind of example does it set for Zach? You’ll have to tell this man to move out and stay somewhere else.”

  “I’m going to get in the shower,” Nick whispered. “I’ve got a lot to do today.”

  Maggie nodded and felt him slip away. “When did Brian call you?” she asked her mother.

  “First thing this morning. He’s not happy about the situation, of course. He told me if you want to continue dating him, you have to get rid of the man you’re living with.”

  Maggie felt her eye begin to twitch. Why hadn’t Brian had the guts to tell her that? He’d been congenial and soft-spoken. “Do you think your roommate will mind?” Then he’d run to her mother instead, as if he thought that would force her hand.

  Maggie considered telling Rosalyn about Dr. Dan turning his sights on her and why she’d let Nick move in, but she knew it would only make her mother demand she pull up stakes and go back to Iowa. So she did what she should’ve done years ago. “Mom,” she said. “I love you and I appreciate your interest, but I’m an adult now, and I can make these kinds of decisions on my own, thanks.”

  Shocked silence greeted this announcement. “But—but what about Brian?” she finally asked. “He said the two of you are perfect for each other.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to date Brian again. And please don’t set me up with anyone else, okay? I’m in love, Mom. I’m so in love I can barely think about anyone or anything else.”

  “In love?” her mother gasped. “With whom?”

  Maggie swallowed hard. “With the man in my shower.”

  “The one you said was temporary?”

  Maggie winced at the horror in her mother’s voice. “I’m hoping he’s not as temporary as I made it sound.”

  The phone clicked and went dead, and Maggie realized her mother had hung up on her. She was trying to decide how she felt about that when it rang again. Aunt Rita this time.

  “Your mother says you have a man living in the house,” she said.

  Maggie heard Zach outside her locked bedroom door and jumped out of bed to dress. “Yeah, I do.”

  “She says you’re in love with him.”

  “I am, Aunt Rita, madly.”

  “Does he love you back?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, give him time. A man would have to be crazy not to love you. And don’t worry about your mother. I’ll talk to her, and she’ll come around. I’ve never liked the Wordellys much anyway.”

  Maggie laughed. She’d expected to feel more remorse for upsetting her mother, but now that she’d told the truth, she was hoping it would be the beginning of a more honest relationship between them. She was finally growing up. Maybe it was time her mother accepted that.

  “WHAT DID YOUR MOTHER SAY?” Nick asked when he got out of the shower.

  Maggie was sitting on the bed, wearing a lightweight robe and reading to Zach, who was still in his pajamas. “She said Brian Wordelly won’t date me any more unless you hit the road.”

  “Did you tell her Brian Wordelly was lucky to escape last night with all his body parts in good working condition?”

  Maggie grinned, then shook her head. “No. I told her I didn’t want to go out with him again.”

  Nick stood in front of the dresser, a towel wrapped around his waist, and combed his hair. “And her response was?”

  “She hung up on me.”

  He looked at her in the mirror. “Just over that?”

  Maggie shrugged. “That and the fact that I’m now living with you.”

  She said it flippantly, but Nick could tell that Maggie’s mother had hurt her. Crossing to the bed, he sat down beside her, put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll win her over,” he promised.

  Maggie didn’t respond.

  “Did you tell her about Dr. Dan?” he asked.

  “No. I didn’t see any point in upsetting her anymore.”

  “I’m sure the police are going to catch him soon,” Nick said, wishing he could tell her who he really was. He’d almost done it a dozen times during the night. He hated the lies, hated knowing that his day of reckoning would come. But these feelings between him and Maggie were still so new and fragile, he feared the truth would destroy them. Besides, capturing Dr. Dan had to take precedence over everything else. The lab had gotten back to him just yesterday to say that the blood on the shirt he’d sent them from the park ranger’s blazer had indeed belonged to Sarah Ritter. They found some of her blood on the leaves he’d gathered from the boat launch, too. Now if Nick could only find the man who’d left the shoe print outside the Ritters’ window and at the river, he’d be able to place both murderer and victim at the scene. If only…Too bad they weren’t having any luck with the leads coming in off the composite. Too bad that was such a big “if.”

  “Mommy, aren’t you going to read?” Zach demanded, finally growing impatient with the interruption.

  Maggie acted as though she didn’t hear him. She was looking at Nick. “If the police don’t catch him in time, if he…manages to get to me,” she said softly, “will you see that Zach is taken care of until arrangements can be made to send him to my mother?”

  “I thought you said your mother was getting old?”

  “She is, but there’s no one else.”

  Turning Maggie’s head so they were face to face, Nick put his forehead against hers. “Nothing’s going to happen to you or your little boy, Maggie,” he said. “I won’t let it.”

  “YOU’VE GOT TO get those letters.” Maggie sat at the computer desk in her bedroom, the telephone pressed to one ear, the fingers of her right hand massaging her forehead while Rachel Nunez, intern at the Seattle Independent and her source for the Lola Fillmore information, sighed on the other end of the line.

  “Maggie, I can’t. I told you that yesterday. I don’t dare go through her stuff again. It’s all in storage by now.”

  “Then you’ve got to come forward and say what you know.”

  “No way. The police will subpoena the letters. If the Independent finds out I was snoopi
ng through Lola’s desk, they’ll never hire me, and I’ve worked my butt off for three years trying to get on at that place.”

  “I know, Rachel, but the police believe there might be something in those letters that will help them find this creep.”

  “There’s nothing. I’ve told you that.”

  Maggie jammed a hand through her tangled hair. Nick had left more than an hour ago, but she hadn’t had a chance to shower yet. She’d been returning her business e-mail and avoiding the inevitable—this call to Rachel. She believed the letters were as important as the police did, but she also knew Rachel wouldn’t like being dragged into the light. “You said you only saw them once. Maybe there’s something you missed. We don’t know what the police have so far. Those letters could tell them more than you think.”

  “And what if they don’t? I’d ruin my reputation and my chances at a career in journalism for nothing.”

  “Not for nothing. Dr. Dan’s killed two women since he came to Sacramento. We have to do everything we can—”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” she interrupted. “You’re not the one who’ll lose your dream.”

  “I could lose a lot more than that,” Maggie told her. “Dr. Dan left me another message. He’s been sending letters. He’s stalking me, just like Lola, and if they don’t catch him…I have a little boy, Rachel. I can’t stand the thought of what’ll happen to him if this maniac gets hold of me.”

  “So what are you saying?” Rachel demanded. “You’re going to tell them who I am?”

  “No. I can’t do that. I’ve given you my word. I can only hope you’ll decide to help. There are lives at stake here, mine included.”

  Rachel sighed. “If I thought these letters could really save someone’s life, I’d do everything possible to help. You have to believe that, Maggie. But they won’t help.”

  “Let the police be the judge of that.”

  “I can’t let the police send a subpoena to the paper because of me.”

  “Then find a way to get copies of those letters on your own. Fax them to me. I’ll give them to the police, and I won’t say how I got them. Then no one can fault you or the paper.”