Transcending Nirvana (Dark Evoke #3)

by V. L. Brock

  “I was worried about you; I didn’t expect you to be out so long. Are you okay?”

  “Me and Da we um…we had a disagreement. I went for a drive to cool off.” When I refused to tear myself away from his neck, he chuckled and held me tighter. “You really missed me, huh?”

  I didn’t want to pry into father and son business, so I didn’t ask about the disagreement, but knowing that that alone would be weighing down on him a little, I decided to keep my mouth shut about the news that would change everything.

  “I did,” I forced a small smile.

  “Well, I need a shower,” he tore me away from his sweaty body. “Would you care to join me, Miss Jenson?”

  Tomorrow I would tell him what had happened and that I was heading back to D.C. I didn’t expect him to follow me; if he did then we would go from there. But for that night, I needed a distraction, a release from my own terrifying, gut-churning thoughts, and if it was to go pear-shaped, then at least this would be a perfect way to say goodbye.

  “Yeah, I’d love too, Gerry.”

  Walker

  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep. I laid in the darkness hoping that it would take me somewhere peaceful and kill the echo of hasty words, which were spoken in anger, in my head.

  “Walker you got to stop what you’re doing. You don’t think Les boasts about how you fight for him? The state you left that man in, not to mention all the others this week––”

  “Don’t you dare talk to me about leaving, how fucking dare you? You made me leave my Ma back in Ireland. You tore me away to start a new life over the fuckin’ pond, and I can’t even go and visit her fuckin’ grave because of your decision.”

  “I was trying to do what was best, son. The way you cope with problems is something that I can’t understand and you just got worse when she passed. I thought getting you away, and starting a new life would help.”

  “Would help? Fuck that shite,” I scoffed, turning for the door. “It should have been you who was taken, not her!”

  The soft moan coming from beside me paused the carousel of words in my head. She looked so peaceful when she slept. So peaceful and perfect. I trailed my pinky down her straight, narrow nose and smiled. I don’t know how the Downtown boy finally got the Uptown girl, but I thanked God himself every day.

  Sighing, the clock beside me read 2:38 a.m. and my body and mind still wasn’t showing any signs of sleep. Even our lengthy shower and the session upon session of passionate lovemaking, hadn’t helped wear me out.

  A small, quick crease appeared as I lightly pressed a kiss to her perfect brow. Quietly removing myself from the bed, I threw on some old sweatpants and a Lonsdale sweatshirt, before snatching the keys and cellphone, and leaving her sleeping safely in the apartment.

  The times Ma used to take me out for our midnight walks, just to knock me out, was one of the highlights of my childhood. So, with the window of the truck down, the cold night air hitting me and pasting itself to my face as I tore through the night on autopilot, I hoped for the same outcome. Still, it wasn’t helping this time.

  I hadn’t realized where I was going until I found myself there, only this time, the parking lot of McGinty’s wasn’t silent and isolated like I was used to at this time of night. It was bustling with voices of authority and onlookers behind tape as flashing lights of both police and the ambulance, lit up the night.

  My stomach churned as I pulled up and dropped from the truck. Rushing to the scene with a frown, the air stuck in my throat as I saw the gurney being rolled out of the pub. “Stay back please, sir.”

  “No, this is my Da’s pub…this…” then I saw him…”Fuck…that’s my Da!” I shouted over the commotion, barging my way under the tape as the paramedics halted before putting him in the ambulance. “Da, Da…” he was silent, eyes closed, battered and bleeding. “What happened?”

  “We think there was a break in, sir. Everything’s smashed up. I assume they didn’t realize that your father was still inside. As soon as they knew they must have attacked him. That’s how these situations usually go.”

  As he was lifted into the ambulance, I told them that I was going with him, and clambered inside. As I held his hand in my own on the journey to MA General, the sirens reverberating as we sped through the empty streets, all I could hear in my ear was my Ma’s words which were spoken many a time, ‘never go to bed on an argument’.

  I had never felt such guilt in my life.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Kady

  The picnic blanket rose and dipped like a wave in slow motion as the unevenness of the lawn bore into it. The sun on my flesh, the scent of wild flowers in the air and the distant sounds of children giggling took away the dread and guilt which was consuming me, if only for a moment.

  “You’ve been playing with that daisy for ages now, darlin’.” I peeked down at the flower, the stem being rolled between my thumb and middle finger. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I’m leaving. I’m going back to D.C.”

  His hand shot out like a striking cobra at my wrist, interrupting my spinning flower. “Wait, what? Why?”

  “They let him go. He’s free there’s nothing they can do to help, so I’m leaving.”

  “I thought you said you wouldn’t run?” I was pulled up onto my feet, gazing at wild, frantic eyes filled with both questions and disbelief. “Turn a weakness into a strength, remember…”

  I framed his face in my hands and breathed slowly. “With me here, who knows what could happen? I can’t risk him hurting the people I care about…”

  His eyes widened while his body stiffened and a small pained gasp passed his lips.

  “Walker…?” Looking down he stepped away, his white shirt stained red with blood before he fell to his knees.

  “You never learn, Kady baby…” the sickening words were whispered from behind Walker’s crumpled body. The silver blade in his grasp was swayed mockingly with an upturn of his lips and a shrug of his shoulders. “Why don’t you learn?”

  I jolted with a gasp, grateful that I was finally able to escape yet another nightmare. My chest heaved while the sheen of sweat coated my body. My fear was stirred more so when I looked beside me only to see Walker’s spot empty.

  “Walker?” I called. “Walker?!” Still, I was answered by complete silence. It was only a dream…It was only a dream…I repeated to myself like a mantra, leaning over to retrieve my cell from the nightstand. One missed call from an unknown number, four missed calls from Laurie and one text message, which read:

  Call Me

  Xxx

  The floorboards were cold under my feet. I called and called only to have it go straight to voicemail. After the third attempt and listening to the same robotic-like voice, I decided to leave a message.

  “Hey Laurie, I just got your calls and your message. Is everything okay and is Walker with you? He’s not here and I’m…fuck, I’m freaking out here. Please, call me back.”

  I tossed the handset onto the bed and ripped through the closet in search of clothing. Each plaid shirt I brushed past I would stop and grasp, inhaling deeply, reminding myself again that it was only a dream.

  I settled on a pair of tight black jeans, a white camisole screened by my own black and red fitted plaid shirt. I must have checked that cellphone fifty times in five minutes. It’s crazy how when you’re expecting a call you hear the ringtone, but it’s just in your mind.

  I rushed around the apartment like a madwoman, looking for any sort of ideas where he could be or what could be happening. His pickup wasn’t in its spot, his keys were missing and so was his phone. His phone. I brought up his number and pressed call. Once again, it went to voicemail.

  “Walker, please answer the phone. Where are you? What’s going on? I’m fucking freaking out big style. Please let me know you’re okay…” I choked on a sob. “I need to know you’re okay.”

  Heavy, short breaths ricocheted around the barren walls as I paced for an eternity up th
e length of the apartment. I swear I counted every crack on those walls more times than what there were cracks and chips.

  There was nothing I could do. I didn’t have a car to go search, I was too fearful to leave the apartment to search the streets on foot, and I couldn’t get ahold of anyone. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

  It was when I was exiting the bathroom that the door opened gradually, and a despondent looking Walker stepped over the threshold. I didn’t care that my steps would sound like an elephant dancing over the ceiling for the people residing in the downstairs apartment; I ran the length of that hallway and into the living room, jumping into his arms.

  “Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been going out of my Goddamn mind,” I panted, frantic. When I finally peeled myself away from him, the bottoms of my clenched fists vibrated against his chest, allowing that fear to turn into anger now that I knew he was safe. “Why didn’t you answer the fucking phone?!”

  That fear that I turned to anger soon turned to regret when I stepped back and was pinned by his timid expression. Red, raw flesh circled his swollen eyes. “I’ve been down the hospital with Laurie…”

  “Laurie? Is she okay?”

  “It’s, Da, Kady. There was…”––he stepped into the heart of the room, his hand rubbing the back of his neck––“I couldn’t sleep last night so I went out for a drive. I went to McGinty’s to apologize to him for the things I said, but…”

  I reached for his arm. “Walker, what’s happened?”

  “They say that it must have been a break-in. They didn’t know Da was still there, when they did, they attacked him.”

  I gasped, struggling for breath as the sucker punch to the stomach winded me. “Is he…”

  “He’s alive, thank God. But he’s was beat up pretty badly, he’s unconscious. I didn’t want to leave him but the nurses told me to come home and change, that there’s nothing we can do.”

  Pushing up onto my toes, I wrapped my arms around him tightly, and for the first time ever, I heard him crumble. The cracks that he’d taken for God only knows how many years, finally gave away, and he sobbed into my neck.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault, darlin’,” he muttered.

  “Actually…” he pulled away and frowned, urging me to continue. “I should have told you last night when I found out. They…they…”

  The chiming emitted from his sweats pocket interrupted us. He lifted a finger with a familiar look on his face––the look of dread…

  Walker

  When I saw that unknown number flashing on my screen my stomach flipped. “Hello,” I answered.

  “Mr. Walker?”

  “Speaking.”

  “Hi there, this is Dr. King from MA General.” My life flashed before my eyes, each memory of me and my father as I grew up, happy times and sad times. His smile and the twinkle in his eyes, the way he helped me get Kady back and the positions he got himself into…

  The words, ‘he passed’ were repeating like an echo in my empty head. If I convinced myself of the worst, then anything better would be a bonus.

  “What’s happened? Is my father okay?”

  “He’s regained consciousness. He’s a little scared. He’s asking for you.”

  My eyes closed briefly as all the tension left my body. Thank you, God… “Thank you so, so much. I’m leaving now, I’ll be there shortly.” Ending the call I smiled through my tears. “He’s awake. He’s awake…”

  She tipped her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank God,” she breathed, and when she, again, hooked her arms around my neck, I squeezed her so tightly that I had to remind myself that I was physically stronger and could hurt her.

  It was only when I felt her shaking against me that I remembered she was about to say something. “What were you about to say?”

  “Liam, they let him go. Apparently the fact that he didn’t deny what Liv had said, doesn’t give a confession.”

  “So they let him walk?”

  She nodded with a breathy, ‘yes’, traveling on a sigh. “Do you want me to come to the hospital with you?”

  With my Da in the hospital and Liam on the streets, I needed to keep her safe. I shook my head and licked my lips as I took my phone and dialed Laurie’s number. Waiting for her to answer, I covered the microphone. “You stay here, lock the door, and don’t go anywhere until I get back, okay?”

  Her nod was my answer.

  “It’s no good, we’re going to need a bloody army to clear this mess up,” Laurie answered. At the hospital, we were told there was nothing we could do, so Laurie said she’d go to the pub and start tidying while I went back to explain everything to Kady.

  “He’s awake,” I gushed.

  I heard the broom clatter to the floor, “Thank God.”

  “I’m going back down there now––”

  “No, we’ll both go. I’ll pick you up now; it’ll be easier with one car anyway.”

  “You sure?” I asked.

  “Yeah, there’s nothing I can do here on my own anyway. Sit tight. I’ll be a few minutes.”

  I told Kady once again to lock the door behind me when I left and to stay inside. I felt like shite leaving her on her own, after everything that had happened and what we knew, but I had no choice. If I wanted to keep her safe, I had to keep her inside.

  We made small talk on the journey to the hospital. I told her how Liam was release and finally caved in to how guilty I felt, promising Kady something which I had no right to promise her. Justice. Is there ever any justice in the world?

  Within twenty minutes we were pulling up outside the hospital. People were dodged as we ran down the corridor to the elevators, and I jabbed the button for the sixth floor.

  The nurses’ station, unlike earlier on that day, was bustling. “Excuse me,” I interrupted. “I had a phone call telling me my Da’s awake.”

  “And the name please?”

  “Carriag Walker.”

  The nurse frowned from behind her station before asking me to wait a few moments and turned to her coworker. My hand was resting on the lip of the station, and I glanced at Laurie when she rubbed the back of it with an encouraging smile.

  “I’m sorry, sir, there must have been some mistake…” the nurse spoke. “You father is still unconscious.”

  “What? No I had call from a Doctor Ki––”

  “I have no idea what’s happened. But apart from his vitals being a little stronger, your father is in the same condition he was when he was brought in.”

  “Dammit,” I hissed, slamming my hand on the counter and turning on my heel with my hands in my hair.

  “This isn’t making any sense. Are you sure you had a call, Walk––”

  “I’m not fucking stupid, cuz. I had a doctor call me on this damn pho––” I ripped the handset from my pocket and waved in in her face when it started chiming. The jab of my thumb stopped Kady’s name from flashing across my screen. “Kady…” the line was silent so I repeated her name.

  As I listened harder, the tiles liquefied and hardened around my feet. The line was muffled, but I was just about able to hear, “Okay I’m sorry, please…just don’t hurt anybody else…”

  Eyes-flared, my jaw dropped. “A distraction…” I was turning on my heel and began running down the hallway.

  “Walker!”

  I turned to face my cousin with a worried, frantic look. “He’s got her.”

  I tore from the entrance like a bat out of Hell and headed for the car. I didn’t even need to ask, I held my hand out and caught the flying set of jingling keys in the air and slipped in behind the wheel. “Get a cab home,” I ordered.

  “No chance,” she answered, slamming the passenger door closed behind her and pulling the belt across her body. “Family sticks together.”

  Nodding, I pressed the button to put Kady onto speaker, and then handed it to the woman beside me.

  You look after my daughter with your dying breath… was my
mantra. I promised him I would, I promised Kady everything would be okay, that Liam would have got what he deserved. That was a promise I had no right to make––a promise I couldn’t keep.

  I would make damn sure I kept the promise I made to her father.

  Hearing the muffled sounds over the speaker and her voice, I tore out of the parking lot…

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Kady

  I locked the door behind him just as he’d told me to and headed straight over to the window. Laurie’s red Honda was waiting at the sidewalk, and I watched on as Walker slipped into the passenger side before speeding off.

  It didn’t feel right that I felt lighter––worry free, after everything that had happened. But at least Walker knew Liam was out, and that Carriag was finally awake. That was two positives I didn’t have an hour ago.

  Rubbing my hands together, I slumped into the seat and threw my head back. I felt lighter, but still my body was a trembling wreck and all the shuddering wasn’t helping my bladder. Taking my phone, I headed to the bathroom to do my business. The pipes squealed and clattered as the water cascaded from the tap as I washed my hands.

  After drying them I stepped into the hallway to come face to face the apartment door wide open. Taking steady strides to the living area, I froze as the door closed as if by itself, with the greeting of, “Hello, Kady baby,” coming from behind it.

  “Liam…” I gasped.

  “If you couldn’t hear that door being booted in over those pipes, then he really needs to invest in a plumber,” he smirked. As he made his way towards me, I took a further step back, eyeing the door and gauging if I had a chance of pushing him aside and make a run for it. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned as though reading my mind.

  “I could call the police…”

  “You could, but you won’t, not if you don’t want anyone else to get hurt that is…”

  “Else?” I questioned, that sickening, derisive smirk as he held out his cellphone, curdled my blood. A photo of Carriag, unconscious in the hospital bed was displayed on the screen–– his pale, withered flesh purple and black with injuries. How anyone could do such a sickening, brutal act on and elderly person was disgusting. The thought and sight of it made me cry. “You took that?”