by Leigh Bale
She gave a sad little laugh. “So, you’re the one who’s been leaving lilies on Zach’s grave every week. I noticed them before I left town last summer and then again for the couple of weeks since I’ve been back.”
He gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not every week. Sometimes I’m too busy to make it over here.”
“Oh.” Her eyes rounded as the realization dawned on her.
He hadn’t meant for her to find out. The flowers were a simple way for him to remember a dear friend.
“He’d like that,” Tessa said.
Sean shrugged. “He wasn’t big on flowers, but it seemed fitting.”
“I miss him.”
“Me, too,” he confessed and immediately regretted it. Because it paved the way for more discussion, and he didn’t want that now. Not with Tessa. All he wanted to do was hide from her wounded, accusing eyes.
“What do you miss the most about him?” she asked.
“Tess, I’ve got to get going.”
“No, I’d really like to know,” she said.
He took a deep inhale, sensing she needed to talk about her brother. Sean did, too, but he didn’t want to give her the wrong ideas.
He heaved a sigh of resignation. “I miss his friendship and wise advice.”
She quirked her brows. “Really? I always thought Zach was a comedian, not an adviser.”
“Not with me.”
“What did he advise you about?” she asked.
“Whenever I had issues with my squad, I asked him what I should do. He always knew what was right. And sometimes, he’d give me advice about you.”
Her brows spiked. “What about me?”
“Oh, just little things.”
She took a step closer. “Such as?”
“He said you love pink roses, but you don’t care for lilies because they remind you of funerals. And he’s the one who told me your favorite date is pizza and a movie at home.” He glanced at the flowers he’d brought for Zach, wishing he’d chosen something else today.
She laughed. “So, that’s why you brought me pink roses and we stayed at home and ate pizza for our first date.”
“Yes, that’s why.”
“It’s amazing that the two of you knew that about me. But I thought Zach always went to you for advice, not the other way around.”
“He came to me occasionally. I always knew I could count on him whenever I needed help. Next to you, he was my best friend in the world.”
Okay, so much for not confiding in her. He figured he’d just thrown the gate wide open with that last comment.
“You have a funny way of showing it,” she said.
He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“Best friends don’t abandon each other.”
Was she referring to Zach, or the way he’d abandoned her?
He nodded and looked down, feeling her censure. “Yes, you’re right. I wish I could have stayed with Zach.”
“From what I understand, you would have died if you had stayed with him. They found his body down by the creek, but you were up in a previously burned area. You must have gotten separated in the firestorm.”
He took a deep inhale then let it go. “Yeah, something like that. Can we talk about something else?”
She pursed her lips. “Sure, what would you rather talk about?”
“Anything, I guess. I just... I just can’t talk about Zach right now.”
“I understand, but he was my brother, Sean. I don’t want to forget about him. He was so good to me. He was the glue that kept Mom and me going after my father left. He became the patriarch of our family. Now that he’s gone, can’t we remember him with fondness?”
“Of course.”
Sean didn’t know what else to say. He’d been in her life for so long now that he thought he knew everything about her, including her relationship with Zach. But he was wrong. She continued to surprise him over and over again.
She contemplated the pretty white flowers. “I actually love lilies now.”
“You do?”
“Yes, because they’re the flower of the resurrection. And they remind me that I’ll get to see Zach again one day. Because of Christ’s atonement, there is no ending.”
He nodded. “That’s nice. I like that.”
“Whenever you and Zach were together, you always made me smile,” she said.
“When the three of us were together, it was fun. He loved you very much,” he said.
“I know he did.”
He felt the need to reassure her, but he didn’t dare tell her about his vow to keep her safe. She’d probably be furious about that. So he had become her silent protector.
They both were quiet for a time, lost in their own thoughts. Her pale skin glowed in the sunlight, but her eyes were clouded.
“Why did you take him into that chimney area to work?” she asked quietly.
He blinked, feeling as though she’d just slugged him in the gut. The quiet moment between them seemed to pop like a delicate bubble. “It was a good idea at the time. We both thought we could get a jump on the fire. We didn’t know it would turn out bad, Tessa.”
“Well, it did.” She stepped back, breaking the moment. “I’d better get going. Mom will be calling me later this afternoon and I don’t want to miss her.”
“Yeah, sure.”
The air between them seemed to frost over with tension. His throat tightened. In spite of losing her dad and now Zach, she still had a family who loved her. And he’d cherished the idea of becoming a part of that with her. He could never forget growing up in foster care. The loneliness. The feeling of being unwanted. Like he was a burden. No one to depend upon. No one to watch his back. But that had changed when Zach had introduced him to Tessa. He’d had her and her family to belong to. For a little while. But now he knew if he talked about what happened with Zach, she’d never be able to forgive him. She would blame him. She probably already did. Just like he blamed himself.
He backed away, thinking he never should have come here. Never should have stayed in Minoa. The moment he’d seen her standing in the cemetery, he should have walked away.
He noticed that she’d wiped the dust and leaves off the chiseled stone marking Zach’s grave. Her eyes shimmered. She coughed as though she had something stuck in her throat.
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” he said.
“Uh-huh, tomorrow.”
She walked away to where she’d parked Zach’s truck on the west side, partially obscured behind the gardener’s hut. No wonder he hadn’t seen her and known she was here. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have stopped.
He sensed that something had shifted between them. For the first time in a long time, they’d talked about Zach. Good memories. Sean knew he hadn’t given her the answers she sought, but it was a start that might help her heal a little bit.
As he watched her drive away, a riot of emotions clambered inside his head. He wanted to run after her. To say something to make it all better. But he couldn’t.
He felt heavy as though an anchor were tied to his chest and pulling him down to the ground. He must not get emotionally attached to Tessa again. Loving her would only break his heart over and over, because he couldn’t bring Zach back. Nothing could mend this rift between them. Not ever.
Chapter Six
“Fire! Fire!”
Tessa snapped her head up and stared at Sean’s white frame house. Standing on the sidewalk bordering his immaculate green lawn, she had just parked her truck along the curb. Late-afternoon sunlight glinted off his black mailbox. Carrying a file of inventory reports beneath one arm, she had initially headed toward his front door. She’d rather not have come here, but Sean had said it couldn’t wait until tomorrow. No big deal. She’d drop off the re
ports and leave. In and out.
“Fire! Help!” someone yelled again from the backyard. The cry was followed by a round of male laughter.
Tessa gripped the manila folder in her hand as she changed course and sprinted across the grass. She hurdled a flower bed filled with pink and purple petunias. Having been here zillions of times before, she knew the way with unerring accuracy.
At the patio, she came up short and peered through the shade of several tall wisteria trees.
“This isn’t a laughing matter, boys. Try to take it seriously.”
Owen Larson, a man Tessa recognized from the town’s volunteer fire department, stood beside four teenage boys. Three of the kids were dressed in Boy Scout uniforms. The fourth boy was Gavin Smith, whom she’d beaten in the chin-up competition at the high school a week earlier. In spite of the yelled warnings she’d heard, the group didn’t seem panicked. In fact, the boys snickered and jostled one another as though they were having fun.
Sean stood with his back to her. She stared at him, stunned to the tips of her toes. When had he gotten involved with the Boy Scouts? She was used to seeing him in his hotshot uniform, but this was something entirely different. He looked so strong and yet so vulnerable. All she could figure was that he was doing a training exercise for future hotshot recruits. But these boys seemed kind of young, not one of them over the age of seventeen. It’d be at least a couple of years before they could qualify for the crew.
The teenagers were unaware of her presence as they milled around the open fire pit. In a town this small, she wasn’t surprised that she knew almost all the boys here. Gavin Smith, Matt Morton, Derek Wilson and Teddy Gardner. Local boys whose folks gathered at church with Tessa every Sunday.
Gavin stood out like a broken thumb, his long chestnut hair falling carelessly over his high forehead. His black sleeveless T-shirt seemed so stark against the skull tattoo on his right arm. Tessa knew that he lived with his grandfather, a kind old gentleman who had stepped in several years ago when Gavin’s father had died of a drug overdose and his mom had left town with another man. No wonder Gavin seemed so lost. With all the other boys dressed in starched uniforms, he looked like he didn’t quite belong. And the thought flashed through Tessa’s mind that maybe the other boys would have a positive influence on him. He obviously needed a good friend.
A card table sat nearby. On its top rested a pile of books and papers, a box of kitchen matches, a smoke alarm and a red fire extinguisher.
“Come on, Matt. You know what to do.” Sean stood off to the side, not yet aware of Tessa’s presence.
Matt scrambled for the extinguisher, knocking a tripod and easel askew in the process. A large poster bumped against the table and clattered to the ground. The boy hesitated, his eyes filled with frustration as his face flushed with embarrassment. He paused to pick up the mess.
“No, Matt. Keep on going,” Sean encouraged. “The fire is the most important thing right now. You can clean up everything after the fire is out.”
Sean stood with his legs slightly spread, his strong hands on his lean hips. Tessa recognized his hotshot-superintendent-I’m-in-charge stance, and she hid a smile of amusement.
Matt snatched up the extinguisher, pulled the ring, lifted the discharge nozzle and sprayed the fire pit with a deluge of water. No foam. No fire retardant. Just water. Sean had used this special extinguisher before, when he didn’t want to clean up the sloppy spray of retardant all over the place.
Owen stepped back just in time, but the other kids got soaked in the process. They yelled and jumped out of the way as they each took almost a direct hit from the nozzle.
“Hey! You got me all wet,” Gavin yelled.
“Me, too.” Teddy glared his disapproval as he wiped his damp Boy Scout shirt.
Sean laughed. “That’ll teach you to get out of the way next time.”
Owen merely shook his head. “Just be grateful it wasn’t foam. The water will dry off soon enough.”
In response, Matt aimed the extinguisher at Owen and Sean and let her rip. The two men gasped as the water struck them square in the chests. They yelled and chased the boy around the yard. Loud laughter rang through the air as the other boys joined in, chasing and spraying one another with squirt guns. By the time they settled down, each of their Scout uniforms was soaked.
Sean laughed, the sound deep and mellow. Watching him interact with these kids and hearing the rich timbre of his voice did something to Tessa. It rushed over her like a soothing balm to her tattered heart. It sounded so good. So happy and normal. She could almost forget her troubles.
“Good job, Matt. You not only put out the fire, but you also cooled everyone off.” Sean smiled wide as he clapped the boy on the shoulder and reached to take the now-empty fire extinguisher.
Matt grinned from ear to ear, looking utterly delighted with himself. He handed the extinguisher over like it was a dangerous weapon. As he did so, he noticed Tessa and jutted his chin toward her. “Hey! We’ve got company.”
Sean turned, his eyes widening at the sight of her. The boys instantly quieted down, their laughter and raucous voices fading. They stared at her like she had a third eye stapled to her forehead.
“Tessa. I didn’t know you were here.” Sean glanced down at his own damp Scout uniform. The fabric molded to every bulge of his muscular chest and arms.
And that was when she saw the scars on his left arm. At the hotshot base, he usually wore a long-sleeved T-shirt. But not today. His short sleeves revealed long, ugly welts covering his forearm. And she knew where they had come from. He’d received some severe burns during the fire that took Zach’s life.
“Ooh, Sean’s got a girlfriend,” Matt teased.
“Hey! Be polite.” Owen slipped an arm around the boy and gave him a noogie on his head. The two tussled for several moments, drawing the other boys’ attention. They all ended up in another wrestling match.
Didn’t these boys take anything seriously? While they scuffled around, Sean met her eyes.
“You got the report finished quickly. I expected you later,” he said.
She slid her free hand into her pants pocket, feeling out of place. “Um, I had most of it already up-to-date. I just needed to check a few things to make sure my report was accurate and I thought I’d bring it right over.”
“Great. Can you give me just a few minutes to finish up here?” He indicated the boys.
“Sure.” She stood back, hating the tense politeness between them. So much for her goal to stay as far away from him as possible. At this rate, it was going to be a long summer.
“Okay, gather around,” he called.
The group did as asked, their boisterous sounds dying down. Tessa listened with curiosity.
“You all did a great job today,” Sean said. “I think you’ll be ready to help with the Community Cleanup Project next week. But don’t forget the fire tetrahedron. If you’ve got a fire, what are the three elements you want to deprive it of?”
“Oxygen, heat and fuel.” The boys shouted the words simultaneously. With each response, Sean counted it off until he held up three fingers.
“Good! Now line up and Owen will sign you off on what you learned today. And don’t forget we’ll be meeting here again the same time next Tuesday to finish up the fire safety merit badge. Unless I’m called out on a fire, that is. If that happens, Owen will text each of you, so be sure to check your cell phones before you come over here.”
Merit badge! Of course. But when had Sean become a Boy Scout adviser? It was becoming more evident than ever that she and Sean had grown far apart during the winter months while she’d been away at school.
“How’s your mom doing, Matt?”
Jumping at the chance to stay busy until Sean had a free moment to speak with her, Tessa helped the boy pick up the easel and black markers that he’d knock
ed onto the patio.
The boy shrugged. “She’s good.”
“Is she still working at the Rocklin Diner?”
Anyone who had eaten at Megan’s restaurant knew Cathy Morton. Since last summer, when Megan had started catering meals to the wildfire crews, business had been booming. Megan had hired extra staff and even increased her hours of operation at the diner. She now stayed open late at night during the summer tourist season.
Matt nodded. “Yeah, she works every extra hour of overtime she can get. It’s been hard since my dad died.”
Hmm. No doubt Cathy needed the extra money to make ends meet. “She’s a good mom. You be sure to help her out whenever you can.”
“Yeah, I try. I like coming over here to Sean’s house when she’s not at home. I got some bad grades in school, so I’m taking a summer math class. And since Sean started tutoring me, I’m pulling a B in calculus. Mom’s happy because she worried I wouldn’t be able to graduate from high school next spring. I owe a lot to Sean.”
The boy’s gaze lifted to where Sean was drowning the embers in the fire pit with a bucket of water. A haze of smoke lifted into the air as he stirred the hot coals with a shovel to make sure they were out. Tessa heard the note of respect in Matt’s voice.
“You like Sean, huh?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be now. After Dad died, I started hanging out with some troublemakers. Mom was pretty upset about it, but Sean took hold of me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He’s my big brother now. Someday I want to be a hotshot and fight wildfires just like him.”
The boy’s admiration caused her to blink. She remembered that Sean had always had a tender spot in his heart for orphaned boys, probably because he’d been one of them. But he’d never shown interest like this before. She was impressed that he’d become a father-figure for this boy.
“You’d make a good firefighter. Just be sure to keep your nose clean. You don’t want a criminal record to mess things up for you,” she advised.
The boy chuckled, his gaze darting over to where Sean was talking with Gavin. “Sean said the same thing, and I don’t want to let him down. He’d chew me out if I got into any more trouble.”