by Lucy Harvey
I continued to scan the area of the club, nothing but sweaty body’s entangled with sweatier bodies. Still no sign of my Angel. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge as I noticed JD was also missing. That fuck was always there waiting to pounce, lingering in hope for a tiny sign Lily may be interested, just waiting for me to screw up because like everyone else he knew I would eventually.
Lily always swore to me their friendship was strictly platonic despite the situations I had seen them in, she knew how to use him to get to me. Conniving Angel. She didn’t see herself like I did, she could light up the depths of hell, what man would not want to have that? I made my way over to Dixon trying to trace the steps that led me to Lily.
“Where is she?” The music was loud and the vibrations of the bass drowned my voice but Dixon didn’t need to hear me to know what I wanted, my need was evident all of over my face and had been since I very first saw her.
“She left with JD man, she saw you talking to Odette and scrammed. She looked pretty pissed.” Dixon was bellowing in my ear at this point whilst draped against my shoulder. His usual masculine scent was now replaced with sweat and alcohol.
“Didn’t you tell her it was nothing? For god sake! Why did she have to leave with JD of all people? He is just begging me to kick his ass.” Dixon took hold of my arm and led me to the corner of the room where our conversation would not be swallowed by the heavy bass and the screams of influenced girls were less prominent. He handed me his drink as he studied my clenched fists, we may not have been blood related but my brother knew me well.
“Look Roman, I tried to tell her it was nothing but the way Odette was draped over you like a rash kind of contradicted everything I said. Oh and you don’t have to worry about JD I know it’s weird they lost their virginities to each other and all but he is Harleys brother and I trust she would know if there was anything between them.”
The room around me began to spin on its axis. My vision became blurred and my mind delirious. I knew the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed was not helping but that wasn’t the reason it felt like my world was crumbling around me. She lost her virginity to him? What the fuck. I am going to kill him. Then I’m going to tie her down and make her regret ever going near any man but me.
“Roman, I know it’s not my place and you will probably just want to kick my ass for saying this but you need to man up. That girl is head over heels in love with you and I know you feel the same. Drop this bullshit ‘there is no such thing as love’ act. You’ve never been this way with anyone before, so why is that?”
“I have never been with Lily before.” The confessions kept coming.
When would people realize she is different? Lily is the soft breeze on a clammy day, the one over played song on an unwanted CD, she was the only glimpse of hope for a ruin like me. Dixon was as drunk as a skunk so I would pass on beating his ass for making me admit it. He was right. He got off lightly this time, he would lose even without the disadvantage of being drunk but praying on the vulnerable was not my thing. Okay maybe it was but in a completely different reasonable sense.
I left the club in a storm almost taking out a queue of loose has-beens on my way out. The whole way back to the country house my mind was ambushed with sickening images varying from a shy teenage girl giving some ass hole part of herself she could never get back, to more disturbing imagines of her now moaning for someone else’s cock.
If Lily thinks she can screw some random guy to screw with my mind she can think again. She belongs to me now and it will only ever be me. It’s my fingers that cause her undoing. My lips that torture her till she meets her end. My cock that worships her. If she needs me to remind her who she belongs to then I will dedicate the rest of my life breaking her in and reintroducing her to our fate.
I needed to make her mine.
This was her way of showing me she would get her own way.
I had to imprint myself on her emotionally and physically, any man with in a hundred mile radius would know that Lily belonged to me and only me. The stench of my sex radiating from her letting them know how well and truly fucked she was. My hands violently gripped the worn seat of the cab as I tried to occupy my hands. I needed to hold that sweet pussy, not just because I wanted in (well of course that too) but mostly because I needed to own her, show her she was mine and that she always will be.
With Lily it was not always about coming, I wanted to taint her with every ounce of cum I was capable of.
Time to properly claim my Angel.
Once I finally arrive back at the hotel I convinced the receptionist to lend me a key to Lily’s room, if she was going to let JD have her knowing she belonged to me then I wanted to see her face whilst she watched me destroy him. I unlocked the door to her room careful not to make a sound once the blood rush from my pounding heart stopped blocking my ears I braced myself for the haunting moans that were about to break me.
They never came.
Instead, I was met with heart crippling sniffles and whimpering sobs, that sound cut me open like a knife. I wasn’t sure what would have been worse. What I expected to be JD wrapped up in my girl was actually my sweet Angel comforting herself against the bathroom door. Her arms were wrapped so tightly around her shaking legs, the loneliness evident in every tremble.
She was crying. I made her cry. Again. I could not keep doing this to her.
“Roman? How did you get in?” She didn’t even look to know it was me stood behind her. That was the beauty of our connection. Yeah Lily was the rarest form of natural beauty to have ever captivated me but it was our souls that drew us together.
I watched as she tried to clean the tears from her face and climb off the floor to face me. I was going to have to go all the way or at least be man enough to go away. She may have been the one in a hysterical state but it broke me in ways it never could her.
“I need you Lily.” My statement was dominant and possessive, just a fraction of how I felt right now.
“Are you sure it is not Odette you need?” Her soft whisper lingered in the space between us, she felt too far away. She was purposely avoiding my contact apprehensive of my response.
“Angel you know it will always just be you, I was just warning her away, you know me Angel. You are the only one who does. Trust me?” I was right she did know me even when I failed to know myself. Lily jumped into my arms and sobbed into the crease of my neck. The way she clung to me completed me, she was the missing piece of my distorted puzzle of a life.
“Please stop hurting me Roman.” I know she didn’t say it loud enough for me to hear but I could hear every word her heart spoke. “I don’t know how much more of this I can physically and mentally take.”
“That’s why I’m here Lily I’m ending it.” I told her.
“You’re what?” As soon as she removed herself from my cradling arms I regretted my choice of words. She thought I was pulling away from her again but this time I was metaphorically tying myself to her tighter than ever before.
“No Angel, that’s not what I meant.” Her eyes shot up to meet mine. “I’m ending this stupid arrangement, I was a fool to think it would work. I want you to be mine fully and unconditionally.” Her amused gaze gripped something deep inside me. I thought giving myself to someone would be hard but the thought of a world without her was unimaginable. There was no way on gods earth I was about to let anybody else have their hands on her. I had a hard enough time allowing her own brother to comfort her.
“So you want me to be your girlfriend?” Her stutter made me smile, she had no shame in telling me of the salacious activities she craved from me every second of every day but underneath that was this pure innocent Angel.
“I would say you were more than a girlfriend but if that is what you want to call it.” Once again she was in my arms, this time the salty liquid trickling from her eyes were those of joy not desolation. It was a start. In this moment we were infinite. I let myself fully enjoy our euphoric joining because deep down I
knew it wasn’t going to last.
Nothing ever did.
Soon Lily would want answers to questions she didn’t even know how to ask and I couldn’t give her that. But in this moment here she was my angel leading me out of my own self absorbing darkness and her happiness completed me. I hated lying to her but for now I would say anything to see that smile on her face.
The following morning I was up bright and early, for once I was determined to make an effort. When it came to romance and ‘love’ I had as much knowledge as a rock - nothing. There was one person who made affection look like it was second nature to them and although it would kill my ass to ask for help I would do it for her. I would walk through fire just to be near her.
Lily was curled up in a ball sleeping soundly in the hotel bed. Her tempting naked torso was on show whilst the white linen draped seductively over her most private parts. I did not need to peel back the covers to know what they looked like or how they would feel under my touch, I had every detail concerning Lily etched in my brain. To forget such beauty would be impossible.
As I pulled a straight-legged pair of light denim jeans and a black t-shirt out of my satchel; I realised this would be the first time Lily would witness me in casual attire. Such an irrelevant detail yet in a way it says so much about us without saying anything at all. To think I was captivated by her so deeply but she had only seen glimpses of me was mind fucking. We were destined for change.
Before leaving the room I planted a kiss on Lily’s forehead, whispering to her I would just be a few short moments before walking out of the door.
BANG BANG BANG.
Luckily Dixon’s room was just down the hall from Lily’s. The nauseating sounds of my brother getting fucked, or rather my future sister-in-law being fucked, made me want to retch and turn away but I would do this for her.
Too many times had Lily voluntarily walked through hell for me, it was about time I started living for her.
“Dixon put your fucking dick away I need your help.” I shouted against the door. Not too long ago my tone would have remained firm and alarming but now there was a comforting softness in my voice.
On the other side of the door however all I could hear were muffled complaints and there searching of clothes.
“Fucking hell, this best be important or I’m literally going to kick your ass.” Dixon warned as I heard him make his way to the door.
He answered with a hotel embodied towel wrapped around his waist, the length of his erection was completely visible so he hid back behind the door with just his head poking around. Ugh. One more nauseating thing I would have to endure would send me over the edge. It was too early for this shit.
“You wish you could take me.” I goaded. “I need your help. I want to do something today with Lily, to show her I mean what I say, but you know as well as I do I would not know where to begin.” I confided in him not being able to maintain eye contact.
Dixon did nothing but stare. His mouth attempted to move several times but nothing came out. His expression irritated me, I was not that brain dead that romance was beyond my control. I should have known this would be a mistake.
“You can pick your fucking jaw off of the floor, forget I fucking said anything.” I rubbed the back of my neck and began to storm off down the hall, Dixon grabbed my arm stopping me from moving any further.
“Calm the fuck down you nause. I’m not shocked, just happy. It’s about time you embraced that girl, she’s a saint Roman. Right if I know Lily like I think I do, which is pretty well, then I’ve got a few ideas.”
He was soon to be married and my own brother yet his apparent knowledge of Lily still stirred at the cauldron of jealousy inside me.
“And by that, Roman, I mean I’ll go into the bedroom and ask Harley? Her best friend?” Dixon shook his head, he could see what was running through my mind and was finding my discomfort in showing my emotions hysterical.
We waited for Harley to get dressed so that she could assist us with planning, from what I had heard about the wedding plans she would be the best person to ask. Dixon took advantage of the fact we were alone together to quiz me on the new developments of me and my girl. I could get used to saying that. Mine.
“So why are you going to all this effort then now bro? What was it you used to say to me? Have you grew yourself a pussy?” He mocked. Dixon was loving every bit of this.
“Oh fuck off you prick.” I playfully punched him in the side of his arm as we shared a laugh. “I just need to show her it’s not just about the sex with her. Yeah I would shag her fucking brains out if she would let me but I know she needs to feel more than that.” I confessed.
“Shag her brains out? What’s she like in the bedroom?” From the look on his face alone I knew Dixon wanted to bite his own tongue as soon as the words left his mouth. I gave him a warning glare and chose to ignore it. Apparently Lily was a better effect on me than I had seemed to realise.
Harley marched out of the bedroom with a pad full of paper and a pink fluffy pen. Ugh. Why on earth did she have that with her? I didn’t even want to ask.
“First things first, mess Lily around ever again and I will end you, like, savagely end you.” Harley warned whilst flinging her pointed finger around in front of me. “Okay so this is what I was thinking...”
Within just a matter of minutes Harley and Dixon had helped me arrange a grand day out for my Angel. If it was down to me then we would spend the day tangled in each other’s limbs as I fucked her over and over, making sure she felt every overwhelming emotion of just deeply we were connected. This was no longer about me. This no longer concerned what I could and could not do, it was for her.
Marching back to the room where my Angel led safe and soundly asleep; I took pride in my strength. I was finally embracing the inevitable.
The noise of Roman abruptly barging into my hotel room startled me from a well needed slumber. I was confused as I thought he had spent the night here. Rubbing my eyes I looked around to notice his boxers and clothes from the night before strung around the room. So where did he go this morning?
“Where have you been?” I quizzed through croaky vocals.
“Good morning to you too beautiful.” Roman smirked and leant across the bed to kiss me.
Remembering that this was the first time I had not got up earlier than him to brush my teeth I quickly retracted, his hand locked on my neck forcing me to kiss him. His tongue shamelessly intruded my mouth. I was too lost in the sensation of his smile against mine to delve on the horror of my morning breathe.
“Come on, you’ve got ten minutes – fifteen tops, get ready.” He exclaimed as he practically bounced around in front of me.
“Okay who are you and what the hell have you done with my boyfriend?”
Oh god. I carelessly said boyfriend out loud. Squinting my eyes and shielding my heart I prepared for the backlash. That was the thing about admitting your happiness, whether Roman cringed or not, I was too afraid to admit I was finally happy in case the universe stepped in to rip it all away from me again.
“Oh liven up Angel, I’ve got a surprise for you so go get ready. Unless you don’t want it.”
Roman tugged on his own bottom lip with his pearly whites. Instinctively my legs clenched together, no matter what form I found him in the effect he held over my body was always the same.
“No, no, I definitely want it.”
I scrambled from the bed and headed into the bathroom attempting to get ready in record time. Mission accomplished. It took no longer than eight minutes to put my hair in a messy bun, wash my face and clean my teeth. All at once I dressed, stumbled and tripped over anything in sight on the way to meet Roman in the foyer.
Roman stood in the centre of the welcome area of the hotel. His dark t-shirt contrasted with his light denims making my heart flutter. For me he was heaven and hell and everything in between. Right now he appeared so innocent and boyish. My face was slowly growing prisoner to my own smile as I greeted Roman.
“No baby you have to wait.”
Roman took my hand in his leading me out the back to his car. Once sat down in the passenger’s seat he handed me a grey piece of silk fabric to tie around my eyes. The familiarity of the act startled a need in me. The car started and the whole way there my nervous stomach churned and flipped with each swerve or bump in the road.
“Okay you can open your eyes now.” A nervous excitement laced Roman voice as he undid the blindfold. Slowly pressing a kiss to my nose he searched my eyes just one last time before letting me see where we had arrived.
“No you didn’t. Oh my god you didn’t?”
My heart thudded in the depths of my soul and my breathing became non-existent. I stood in the carpark drinking in the scene before me. To anyone else this would probably be lame and boring but to me this was heaven on earth.
“Do you like it Angel?” Roman asked, his hand was rubbing the back of his neck, he needed reassurance he was on the right path. He was new to this and to know I was the first to ever have this side of him completed me.
I made my way to the queue leading into the medieval convention that looked like a time warp. Roman redirected me to the front of the queue, of course he already had passes. Everywhere around me stood eccentric stalls and actors dressed in the most historic of medieval costumes danced around us. I was truly in my element.
“How did you know?” Wrapping my arms around his neck I rubbed my nose against his.
“Your soul is the replicate of my own, Angel.” I leant in for a kiss but he playfully licked his tongue against mine instead. “I know you better than you know yourself.”