by Robin Laine
He grabs two of his own fries, dips them in my mayo cup and shoves them in his mouth. After he does this a few more times he finally gives me a reply. “Still think it’s gross.”
“And yet you continue to eat it.” I laugh as he reaches over and steals my mayo.
Once we’re done eating, Evan reaches down and grabs my left hand, giving it a slight squeeze before resting it on his thigh. “So, tell me, you feeling a little froggy?”
“Froggy? About what?” I ask.
“About getting the hell out of here. It’s getting late, and I should probably get you home to your son.”
I’m completely on board with that idea so I give him a firm nod, “Well, if you're feeling froggy, you may as well just leap.”
Evan grabs my hand and helps me stand. We dump our trash and head back to Evan’s truck with him once again helping me in. Really, it’s not that high; I think he just likes touching me. Since we’re going to my apartment, we both know nothing more than a kiss will end our night. The anticipation of that kiss, though. I have a feeling I haven’t felt the full effect yet. This man doesn’t cause butterflies to flit around in my stomach, he creates a damn stampede.
“So, I’ve been trying to think of the right way to ask this question, but nothing I come up with seems appropriate so I’m just gonna’ ask it. What happened that night?” I don’t need further explanation to know what he’s asking me. I stare out the window as we travel down the freeway, watching the lights flash by and take a deep breath before answering.
“Tyler’s father ended our engagement and asked me to give up our baby for adoption. If that wasn’t bad enough, his dad was there with adoption papers already drawn up. They just needed my signature. Eric had already signed them.” My voice sounds robotic in my ears as I tell my story.
“What the fuck? You’re joking, right? How could they do that?” The anger in his voice shocks me. It’s palpable, and I can feel it in the air of the cab of his truck. “So that’s why you were so upset. I’m sorry they did that to you.” Evan reaches across the center console, grabs my hand, and brings my fingers to his lips. The kiss is gentle, and he keeps hold of my hand as he continues to drive.
“Thank you, I’ve worked through it. It took some time, but I finally realized it was a blessing in disguise. He’s turned out to be nothing more than a child trapped in an adult size body.” I shrug my shoulders and let the topic drop. To change the subject, I ask him about his mom. I’m curious to know about his relationship with her. My mother always told me you can tell a lot about a man by the way he talks about and treats his mom. Oh God, I hope he’s not a momma’s boy!
Evan smiles brightly before answering, “Ah, my mother. Every time she comes to my house, she insists on cleaning it, even though it’s already clean. I end up having to kick her out. I love her, but I don’t need her treating me like I’m still a kid. I’m not one of those guys who can’t figure out how to eat their pancakes unless their momma cuts them up for them first.” I laugh at his analogy, happy to hear he’s no momma’s boy after all.
Evan asks me a lot of questions about Tyler, and I’m more than happy to talk about my son. In no time, we’re pulling into my apartment parking lot and he cuts the engine before climbing out of his truck. I watch him walk around the front of the cab as he makes his way to my side. I sigh at the sight of him. He’s so different from any other man I’ve known. He’s a complete gentleman, and he carries himself with a quiet strength. He opens my door and I meet his beautiful whiskey brown eyes with my hazel. I can’t help but smile big as I reach for his outstretched hand. Our fingers entwined once again, we walk up to my apartment door. I turn to face him, wondering what’s going to happen next. That stampede is going crazy in my stomach, and my nerves are zinging out of control.
“Thank you for tonight. I really had a great time.”
“I did too. I know it wasn’t the typical second date, but you don’t come across as a typical girl.” Laughter is bright in his eyes, and I roll mine at his use of second date.
“Second date huh? Just when was our first date?” I ask.
He gives a dramatic sigh before quietly laughing and shaking his head. “How soon you forget. Do I need to kiss you again to remind you? Maybe dance you around the parking lot?” Evan wraps my arms around his neck and his around my waist, then begins swaying us side to side then around in a slow circle. I laugh at his antics, burying my face in his chiseled chest.
“That wasn’t a date,” I whisper. I breathe him in, a mixture of musk and a clean soapy smell envelope my senses. Evan’s arms squeeze me tighter into him, and I’m so comfortable I feel I could stand here in his arms forever. I feel safe, protected, and even a little frightened that I feel this way. I slowly back away, causing him to loosen his hold on me. “I should go in now. Thank you again.”
“Don’t say goodnight like that.” There’s a plea in his voice as his arms drop to his sides.
“Like what?” I ask, gnawing my bottom lip.
“Like we’re just friends, Azley.”
“But we are friends, Evan.”
“Pretty sure we’re more than just friends.” The gold and brown in his eyes are growing darker, becoming heated.
“Oh yeah? Prove it.” I dare him. I don’t even know why I do it. Lust and fear are suddenly at war inside me. The anxious nerves from just a bit ago are gone, and the butterflies have taken flight. I wonder, does he get butterflies around me like I do with him?
Evan grabs me around the waist, yanking me against his hard body. His mouth crashes on mine, swallowing my gasp in a scorching kiss. Our tongues collide against each other, swirling, licking, teeth biting lips. My hands grab the hair at the back of his neck, my fingers entangling in the soft strands. One of his hands travels down my back to grab my ass while the other wraps lightly around my throat, angling my head to deepen the kiss. My body feels as though it’s waking from a slumber. I’m completely consumed by him; nerve endings are firing at a rapid pace with lust. All thoughts, time and space don’t exist. It’s just me and him, a ringing sound in my ears, and then someone is yelling…
“What the hell are you doing?”
Evan and I jump apart as though a metaphorical bucket of ice water was poured over our heads, dousing the lust consuming us. Breathing heavily, I turn to see Tatum standing in the open doorway of my apartment with a huge grin on her face. “What?”
“Damn you guys, that was pretty hot, but did you really have to be attacking each other against the doorbell?” Her lips are twitching, fighting a smile desperate to break free.
Stunned. Stunned into silence as I stare at Tatum wide eyed for a few moments before I bust out laughing. She joins in, and Evan does as well.
Once the laughter dies down, Tatum closes the door leaving us alone once again.
“I thought we were taking this slow?” I ask.
“We are. Never said I wasn’t going to charm you with my sexual ways, though.”
I stare at Evan, suddenly feeling shy and not knowing what to say. He leans in, placing a gentle kiss against my lips. As he caresses his fingers down my cheek he tells me, “Damn, your taste is intoxicating. I could keep you out here all night, but I promised to take this slow. You better go inside to your son. I’ll call you soon.”
I nod my head, whispering good night, then make my way inside. I lean my forehead against the closed door. I hear Evan’s truck roar to life, and not until the sound dissipates in the distance do I turn away from the door. Tatum is sitting at my tiny kitchen table, eating from a bag of chips.
“Enjoy the show?” I slip out of my shoes and go sit next to her, reaching for the bag to grab a chip.
She slaps my hand away from the bag, “Stop that! Can’t you see I’m making out with my chips? And, yes, I did enjoy that little show. That was so awesome, I could have orgasmed just from watching you two.”
“Ha ha ha. You’re so funny, but I fail to see how that was awesome. There’s nothing awesome about getting caught
making out like teenagers. Now give me a damn chip and tell me how your night with Tyler went.”
“I fail to see how you fail to see it's awesome. Didn’t you get a rush when you realized you’d been busted? I know you did, because I saw your beautiful face pink right up. It felt great and you know it!” Tatum laughs at me as, once again, I blush as I did a few minutes ago, turning my head to hide my face.
“Alright, I did, it did, you can stop now! Damn you’re pushy. I’m going to change and get in bed. Are you sleeping on my couch, or going home?”
“I’m heading home. Tyler was a darling little bug as usual, by the way. Call me tomorrow and tell me all about your date. I want every nasty little detail. You did get nasty, right?”
“Seriously, Tatum, sometimes I wonder about your mental stability. No, we did not get nasty. Evan wants to take things slow. I like his slow. I need slow.”
“Glad to hear it love. I’m out of here.” I give Tatum a quick hug and thank her for watching Tyler. Once she’s out the door, I lock up tight and head to my room. I fall asleep quickly, dreaming of sweet kisses.
Chapter 9
Azley
I’m cursed. I have to be. I’m leaving my doctor’s office with yet another diagnosis of insanity. Okay, I wasn’t technically labeled insane, but it’s how I feel after being told there is nothing wrong with me. I refuse to believe it’s all in my head. I’m not neurotic, or a hypochondriac.
It’s been four weeks since my first date with Evan. Since then, I have been canceling every date we’ve planned. The first time I had to cancel, one of my ankles was swollen. I hadn’t twisted it. I didn’t wear a new pair of shoes for class. I was having lunch with Tatum, and by the time we’re done eating, boom, swollen. When I call my boss about my ankle, she immediately sends me to see the workman’s comp doctor on the studios health plan. He’s able to see me the same day, and set me up with a physical therapist. I have to say, Dr. Johnson is fantastic. He’s the only one to validate me, make me feel like I’m not losing my mind. I go to therapy three times a week now, and though it helps a little, the aches in my joints are still very present.
Evan and I talk on the phone almost every day. It’s hard when he’s on shift, but even if it’s only for five minutes he makes sure to call to check on me those nights once he gets home, no matter how exhausted he is. If we’re not calling each other, we’re texting. Hours are spent on his days off talking about everything and nothing. I learn about his family, how bad he took his father’s death, and that he became a firefighter to honor his dad.
The most recent cancelation comes about because I’m sick to my stomach, “Hey, Evan. I’m sorry to be doing this again, but I’m not feeling well.”
“What’s going on, Sugar? You don’t sound so great.” Concern laces his voice, warming my heart.
“Just dealing with nausea. I’m currently camped on my couch watching kid movies with Tyler,” I inform him.
“Is anyone there to help you? Where’s your mom and Tatum?”
“No. Tatum is at a study group and my mom is having poker night with her friends.”
“I’m coming over,” he says. “Have you even had anything to eat today?”
“I’ll be fine, Evan. Really. You don’t have to come over.” Please don’t come over.
“Azley, I’m assuming that since you haven’t answered my question, the answer is no. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to bring you something to eat. I promise, no ulterior motives.”
“Tyler is here. I’m not sure, I mean, I don’t know if,” a breath of frustration escapes as I gather myself. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for Tyler to meet you. I don’t want him to get confused about anything.”
“He’s three years old, Sugar. What is there to get confused about? I can just be a concerned friend bringing dinner over for him and his sick momma,” Evan agues.
“Why are you being so stubborn about this?”
“I don’t know, Azley. It’s something I can’t explain, except to say I find you intriguing. Let me do this for you. Please.” How am I supposed to say no when he asks in such a sweet way?
Oh, how I hope I’m making the right decision at this moment, “Okay, thank you, I appreciate the gesture.”
“I’ll be there soon.” The call ends and I set my phone on the coffee table. My hair is a mess, my pajamas worn thin, Evan is about to see me at my worst, and I’m too sick to give a flying flip about any of it.
Thirty minutes later, I hear a light knock on my door. When I answer, Tyler comes running up behind me. Stopping short at the sight of Evan, he tilts his head back as far as he can. His little arms wrap around my right leg, hugging it as tight as possible. “Momma, he’s big as a giant,” he whispers in wonder. Evan’s answering grin lights up his whole face.
Evan kneels down in the doorway, getting eye level with Tyler, “Hi, Tyler, my name is Evan. I’m a friend of your mom’s, and she said I could bring you guys some dinner. Are you hungry?”
Tyler nods his head, “Hi, Evan.” He looks adorable as he greets Evan before burying his face in my leg. I run my fingers through his curls, letting him know everything is alright. He’s always been shy around men. I suppose it’s because he rarely spends time around them outside of Tatum’s brothers.
Evan stands as I move Tyler and myself to the side so he can walk in. He lifts a hand, showing me two brown paper bags, “I brought you soup, and chicken nuggets with french fries for Tyler.”
“Thank you so much, Evan. You can set the bags on the coffee table.”
He does as I suggest while I get comfortable on the couch, pulling my legs up to tuck myself in the corner. Once I have a blanket draped over my lap, Evan hands me the cup of soup. “Do you have paper plates? Don’t want Tyler’s food making a mess.”
“On the kitchen counter. Mayonnaise is in the fridge door.” I watch his face for a reaction and laugh when he rolls his eyes.
“Of course, she taught him to like that crap,” he mumbles while walking toward the kitchen.
Tyler eats his dinner with enthusiasm as I slowly sip on my soup, occasionally dunking a cracker in the broth. I place the cup on my end table and scooch down enough that I can lay my head on the arm of the couch. Evan gathers our trash, disposing it into the trash can.
I watch as he sits on the floor with Tyler and begins playing trains with him. It melts my heart watching the two of them together. Evan is so good with him, talking with Tyler like he is his equal, rather than a little three-year-old boy. What really gets to me though, is when it is Tyler’s bedtime.
“Alright buddy, Momma says it’s time for bed. How about you help me pick up these trains? Can you do that?”
Tyler nods his head vigorously before jumping up to grab the bucket we keep them in. He runs back to Evan, placing the bucket on his lap. It’s completely adorable how Evan turns it into a game.
“Let’s start with the blue trains. Can you find those and bring them to me?”
“Yup, those awe my favwit.” Tyler can’t say his r’s just yet, so when he talks, he almost sounds like he has a Boston accent.
“Awesome. Now what color should we put away next?” Evan asks once all the blue trains are picked up.
“Wed!” Tyler walks around, finding all of his red trains. His little arms carefully hold them close to his chest before dropping them in with the other ones.
They continue this little game until all of the trains are picked up, color by color. Once they’re all done, Evan gives Tyler a high five, telling him, “Great job!”
He picks Tyler up and carries him to his bedroom. I climb off the couch so I can walk the short distance to the bedroom doorway. Evan lays on Tyler’s bed, with him snuggled up close to his side, reading Goodnight Moon in a deep, melodic voice. The sight is both swoon worthy and hilarious. I place a hand over my mouth to suppress a giggle trying to escape me. This six-foot two-inch man scrunched up on a toddler bed, twisted in a way to make sure the little boy next to him has enough room t
o be comfortable, is probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. One move the wrong way, and he’ll be falling to the floor. They look like they’ve been doing this for years, not for the first time tonight.
Once he’s done reading, Evan gently slides off the bed so he doesn’t disturb a sleeping Tyler. He walks slowly over to me, eyeing me up and down in concern, as I lean against the door frame. Without a word, he scoops me up into his arms. I give a quiet yelp and wrap my arms around his neck. My room is right next to Tyler’s, so it’s a very short walk to my bed. He lays me down, softly kissing me on the forehead, lingering for a minute before pulling away.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to have our date. Again.” I whisper.
“Don’t worry about it, I understand. I hope you feel better soon. We’ll try again next week.”
“I’d like that.” He pulls my covers over my shoulders, all the way to my chin.
“Good night, Sugar. I’ll call and check on you tomorrow.” I watch as he pulls a Hershey Kiss out of his pocket and places it on my nightstand, “A kiss for the morning, since I won’t be here to give you one when you wake up.” With that, he gives me one last kiss on the cheek before walking out the door.
So here I am now, on a Friday afternoon, cursing my body and every doctor I’ve been in contact with. You know how people casually throw out ‘fuck my life’ when they run out of coffee, or stub their big toe on a chair? Yeah, well this is my ‘fuck my life’. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, and not knowing why. I want Evan. I want him to wrap me up in his big, strong arms. To tell me I’m not crazy. That I will get through this and find out what is wrong with me once and for all. I won’t put this on him, though. Our relationship, if you can call it that after only one date in a month, is too new.
Once I reach Mrs. Z’s to pick up Tyler, I have less energy than a sloth on its worst day. Sleep, it’s all I want to do anymore. Every chance I get, which isn’t often during the day, I’m sleeping. It doesn’t matter the amount I get at night; my energy levels plummet at a rapid pace not long after my day starts. I currently have two sources of energy, caffeine and fumes. I consume so much coffee these days I should buy stock in it, and when the caffeine high wears off I ride the waves of exhaustion until I can crawl into bed at night. I lock that feeling away. My son deserves a mother who focuses completely on him. After he goes to bed, I can let myself be miserable over my abysmal situation. Besides, Evan is supposed to come over tonight for dinner. I can’t cancel on him again. I’ll drink all the coffee and order in Chinese food for the three of us.