by KL Myers
I knew it was coming for months, so I’m not surprised when Lex says, “Gauge, I want a baby.”
“What’s that you say?”
“I want a to be a mother. When I’m with Roe, I feel something, something that is bigger than you and me. I want a baby. How do you feel about that?”
Honestly, I haven’t really given it any thought, so I’m not sure how to respond to the question. I know I need to respond quickly, but I also know I need to think it through before answering.
“Red, the thought of you pregnant with my child has some appeal to it. Honestly, though, I didn’t expect you’d want that so quickly, so I really haven’t given it much thought. If you’re serious, then I guess we should be talking about it.”
Lex smiles at me, which means I dodged that bullet for now, but I need to really think about how I feel about all of this. Usually, marriage is the first step, and I’m not quite sure if I’m ready for marriage. Long term commitment, yes, but marriage?
After Sunday dinner, I decide to talk it over with Braedyn first. We didn’t bond like brothers normally do, so why not let this be the ice breaker? There are questions about fatherhood that he and my dad can answer for me.
Like every other Sunday, the women clean up, while the men head to the living room for football. When halftime rolls around, I finally get the courage to ask the question.
“So, how scary is it being a dad?”
All eyes move to me at once, followed by shocked expressions on both their faces.
“Are you going to be a dad?” Braedyn asks.
“Not that I’m aware of, but Lex is talking about wanting kids.”
“Now?” my father asks.
“Apparently so. Seems Rylee and Roe have got her motherly urges all in an uproar.”
No one says another word. The game resumes, and all eyes go back to the TV screen. It’s like I never asked the question and no one ever responded. I know they heard me, but why they haven’t responded is beyond me. The three of us sit there in complete and utter silence through the third and fourth quarter of the game. When it finally ends, my dad speaks up.
“Son, fatherhood is a challenge. You never know if you’re doing it right or wrong. Hell, I don’t even know if there is a right or wrong. Take you and your brother, for example. We did everything the same for both of you, but you are complete opposites, so the end results were completely different. I guess it’s like a science experiment. You mix everything together and hope for the best outcome. Regardless of what those results are, you take it in stride and know you did your best.”
Wow, that is the answer I get from my dad. I have no clue what the hell he is trying to say, and I’m not going to ask for clarification, because something tells me the answer to that will be more confusing than his first response. That’s when Braedyn speaks up.
“OK, so now that I have no idea what the fuck Dad just said, let me lay it on you this way. Fatherhood is amazing. You spend nine months watching something you created grow in the woman you love more than life itself. The first time you feel your child kick is awe-inspiring and you get totally excited and ready for him or her to make their appearance. Then it happens and you’re rushing to the hospital, it feels like you're on a rollercoaster making that initial plunge. Your gut is turning, and you're ready to hurl. But in the end, the euphoria of holding your child is amazing.”
“That’s quite an analogy,” I tell Braedyn. “So, what you’re both saying is that being a father is like a rollercoaster ride and a science experiment all in one? Not sure I’m following either of you.”
“Look,” Braedyn says, “If you love her and you don’t see anyone else in your future for you, then you just need to decide if you want to bring another life into this world. If the answer is yes, then you just need to determine if you want to do that married or unmarried. Simple as that. It’s a huge commitment, one you can’t give back, so be sure she’s the one first.”
Standing, I pat my brother on the shoulder, tell him thanks, and then head to the kitchen ready to take my woman home and have a heart-to-heart discussion with her.
“Lex, we need to talk.”
“What’s wrong Gauge?”
“Look, I’ve been giving this whole baby thing some thought and I think we should discuss it a bit more”
When she turns to look at me, I can tell that she is eager to hear what I have to say. The whole ride home, I’ve thought this through so when I open my mouth the words flow without hesistation.
“Lex, neither of us wants to get married,” I say
“You’re right, we’re both commited to the releationship. What’s a piece of paper with signatures on it right? Maybe someday, you know down the road?” she says with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.
“Like I was saying, neither of us wants to get married, but I’ve thought about what you said about wanting a baby and I want that too. So I say we leave it in Gods hands. You can stop taking the pill and if it happens then it happens. You OK with that?”
Before I can finish, she’s throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me. “Yes, we’ll let nature be the deciding factor. I love you Gauge.”
Unexpected Disaster
AS FATE WOULD have it, Lex and I struggle at getting pregnant. Months go by, and month after month, she gets her period, and each time she loses a little hope.
About the time Lex settles into a full-time job helping Rylee and getting ready to go back to school, our little miracle happens. Rylee and Lex are out with Roe at the park for the day when Lex starts feeling ill. Call it woman's intuition, but they both say they knew the minute she threw up that she is pregnant. Not so sure I believe it, but that’s what they say and who am I to argue with two women.
Two weeks later, the obstetrician confirms that Lex is, in fact, expecting and is twelve weeks along. Since Lex has always had odd cycles and they are always light, what she thought was her period was just spotting and nothing to be concerned about. Easy for the doctor to say. I am concerned, and so is she. We both agree she will take it easy for a bit and see what happens.
The first place we stop after leaving the doctor’s office is the cemetery. Lex feels it’s important to share this news with her mother. I didn’t realize it, but Lex has been stopping by here once a month to have a chat with her mom. She says it makes her feel like her mom is still with her even though she isn’t.
Today is a bit harder on her, though; she has good news to share, and for the first time feels the emptiness of not really having her mom around. I hold her hand as she speaks to her mom.
“Hi Mom. I miss you horribly. I have great news to share and I’m really excited. I’m pregnant, can you believe it? I’m going to have my own little family. I wish you were here to guide me through all this. It won’t be the same without you. I love you Mom, with all my heart. I promise I’ll visit soon.”
Sunday dinner is a cause for celebration. Everyone is in good spirits. When Lex and I share the news of her pregnancy there are hugs shared between the women and congratulations spoken between the men. My mom is over the moon that she will be a grandmother again, and Rylee is excited to be an aunt.
“I can’t wait to plan the baby shower,” Rylee says and my mom seconds that.
“No baby shower. I really don’t want one. I want this to be just our special moment. Please tell me you understand.”
“Of course,” my mom says. “We understand. No shower it is then. Just us girls having lunch and drinks. Well water for you, drinks for Rylee and I.”
“That, I’ll do but damn, I’m kind of jelous I won’t get to drink.”
By Monday, all things are back to normal, the news is shared, and the excitement dies down.
By the time August rolls around, the morning sickness is gone and Lex is looking very much pregnant, and the baptism is upon us. No one expects the news we get that morning.
We are all at the church waiting for the arrival of Jaxson, Rosie, and Penney. They called a couple of hours ago, letting u
s know that they just left Tucson and would be here soon, but to expect them to be a little late because the weather station said to expect monsoon weather conditions and a dust storm, forcing them to drive a bit slower.
When Rylee’s phone rings and the caller ID shows Jaxson’s name, she is so excited.
“Jaxson, you almost here? Everyone is waiting for you slowpokes.”
A moment later, the phone falls from her hands and she drops to the floor completely passed out. While Braedyn and my mom rush over to help her, it’s was me who picks up the phone, not expecting to hear what I hear.
“Hello, is anyone there?”
The voice on the other end is not Jaxson's. I only talked to him a couple of times, but one thing I still have engraved into me from being a cop is the ability to recognize voices, and this isn’t Jaxson.
“Yes, this is Gauge Ellington, what can I do for you?”
“This is Deputy Redfield with the Highway Patrol. As I was saying, there’s been an accident on the I-10 which involved the Bennett family. This is the number listed in the phone as ICE (in case of emergency). The family has been transported to Chandler Regional Medical Center. I wish I had more to tell you, but I don't.”
I can barely speak the words ‘thank you’ before disconnecting. All eyes are on me, except for Braedyn’s; he is tending to Rylee, who is on the floor in arms. Her face is pale, a cold emptiness fills her eyes as she stares out into space. It’s as if she is frozen in time.
“Gauge, what’s going on?” my father asks.
“There’s been an accident, and Rylee’s family was involved. They’ve been transported to the hospital, but no one would give me information on the extent of their injuries.”
Simultaneously, both my mom and Lex cry out, “Oh my God.”
“Braedyn, we need to head to Chandler Regional.” Braedyn nods before he speaks, “Will you drive, please? I need to tend to Rylee.”
“Absolutely. Mom, will you and Dad take Roe in your car, please?”
“Of course, honey. We’ll see you there.”
Three years later
IT’S FUNNY HOW some things happen in life that make you question everything around you. Before the accident, marrying Lex was the furthest thing from my mind. Hell, we both agreed we didn’t want it, but then fate has its way of rearing its ugly head and making you rethink everything about life in general.
Sitting there in that hospital that day and hearing the news made me realize I didn’t want to live another day without Lex tied to me by that funny little piece of paper we both felt wasn’t necessary. It became my priority in life to make her my wife, and believe it or not, she was on board with that as well.
We both agreed we didn’t need a big ceremony; we were both fine with a Justice of the Peace, and considering no one was in a mood for celebration, it was the simplest and fastest way of accomplishing what we wanted.
Lex took on handling the weddings that were already in the planning stages, so that Rylee could be where she was needed. It was a lot for Lex to handle, but she did it like a champ, right up to the day she delivered our son, Mason.
Lex graduated a year later with her business degree in hand and became partners with Rylee. They became inseparable after the accident, something about kindred spirits.
Once I was off parole, Bob and I sat down and had a discussion. I wanted more out of life than being a bouncer at his club. I had a family I needed to provide for and odd hours weren’t cutting it. I was missing too much time with my son.
Bob made me the head of his security at all three of his clubs. He said he always had that plan in the back of his mind but wasn’t sure I was ready for it, so when I mentioned it, he was all for it.
Mason, he’s a mini me. Already into everything and getting into trouble. Last week, he painted Houdini with red paint. I don’t even want to know how he got the dog to stay still long enough to paint him, but he did. He’s quite intelligent for a three-year-old.
I pray to God every night that Mason doesn’t turn out like me. That I have it in me to show him the right path in life and to guide him when the time comes. Lex says I’ll do just fine, but I worry.
Braedyn and I have mended all of our fences; well, that was until Mason pushed Roe down the stairs last week. It was only four steps, but it was enough to send my brother off the deep end and reading me the riot act about what a little hoodlum I was raising.
Hey, boys will be boys, what can I say? I didn’t have the heart to tell him his little angel did the same thing to my son the week before. Some things are better left unsaid. He’ll find out soon enough that his daughter isn’t quite the little angel he thinks she is.
Today is boys’ day. We replaced Sunday dinners with Saturday girls’ day and Sunday boys’ day. So today, Dad, Braedyn, Mason, and I are going to the Cardinals game. We have box seats, so it works out well with Mason, who seems to get bored by halftime, and running around the box is better than disturbing the fans if we had regular seats.
Before we leave the stadium, I receive a text from Lex telling me she is at Braedyn’s and just to have my dad drop me off at this house instead of going home. Brae and I aren’t expecting what is waiting for us when we arrive. Someone on his street is having a party; what we don’t know is that it is us.
We walk into a celebration going on with a banner hanging across the living room wall that reads “We’re Expecting.” Both of us look at each other in shock.
“Congratulations, Brae.” I laugh as I say it but then stop laughing when I hear Lex's voice say, “We’re expecting, too.”
“What’s that you said, woman?”
“You heard me. Both Rylee and I are expecting. It’s a cause for a celebration.”
“Bwahahahahaha,” Braedyn laughs. “Serves you right for giving me so much grief.”
As my hands run down my face, I think to myself, God help me, but inside I am a very happy man. Turning, I wrap my arms around Lex and swing her around. “God, I love you, baby.”
The End…..
Now, I’m sure some of you are wondering what happened with Jaxson, Rosie, and Penney. Well, that you’ll have to read about in Book 3 Rediscovering His Future.
KL Myers resides in Peoria, AZ, with her husband, David.
They have two daughters, Lindsey and Cassandra, and three grandchildren, Tristyn, Weston, and Wyatt.
She considers herself an Arizona native, since she has lived there for over thirty years. However, she grew up as part of a military family, moving from place to place until her father retired in Colorado.
Currently, she works full-time as a VP for a bank and writes in her spare time. She loves reading all genres of romance novels, so it was destined that she would write them, too.
When she is not writing or reading, she enjoys spending time in the high country with her husband, relaxing in the quiet.
Connect with KL Myers on social media:
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Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/KLMyersAuthor
Website: authorklmyers.com
Email: [email protected]
I want to send special thanks to Pinky at Sacred Skin Tattoo in Payson, Arizona. When my designer and I sat down to work on the cover, I knew that for Burton to be Gauge, he needed some ink. Adam and I searched the Internet trying to find the right tattoo, but couldn’t find anything that I liked. Pinky has done all my tattoo work, so I reached out to her to see if it was even possible to draw a tattoo that was specifically for my character, and she dropped everything and designed the artwork you see on the cover. She truly is an amazing person and a great artist. Thank you, Pinky, for the beautiful tattoo. I think it fits Gauge perfectly.
Next, just like before, I have to thank the crazy girls I work with day in and day out for keeping me sane and continually pushing me to believe in myself. Tara Bookspan, Ca
rolyne Ringgaard, Jane Bemmerl, Brooke Haack, and Susan Hayes, thank you for sharing this journey with me again.
To my beta readers: Renita McKinney, Curtis Evans, Karrie Mellott Puskas, and Susan Crump. Thank you for taking time out of your schedules to read through my raw work and guide me through the few obstacles I hit. Your suggestions and edits helped make this book what it is today.
Eric Battershell and Burton Hughes: AGAIN, thank you both for the most amazing cover photo. Burton is truly a chameleon, who transformed from Firefighter on my first book cover to the Bad Boy Brother for book two. I’ve loved working with both of you.
Adam Nelson with Adam Nelson Designs: You truly inspire me every time we sit down to work on a cover. Your detail to the little specifics comes through in the most amazing covers. When we started down this journey, I wasn’t sure what the finished product would look like, but you blew me away AGAIN. Thanks, Boogs (sorry couldn’t resist, Megs made me do it.)
Julia Goda: Thank you for your edits. I swear woman without you I’d be lost. You take my written word and make it readable. I’d be lost without you,
Cassy Roop: Thank you for formatting my story for everyone to read and making it look beautiful.
Emmy Hamilton: Thank you for your final read through to catch all the little things I miss on a daily basis. Who knew the word “that” was such a part of my daily vocabulary and not really needed to get my point across. LOL You’re the best.
Hal Nevitt: Thank you for sharing your insights into our wonderful prison system and our public safety department. I’m blessed to have met you.
Lastly, thank you for purchasing Reclaiming His Life and joining me in living Gauge’s story. I hope you enjoyed reading his story as much as I did writing it.
If you have enjoyed reading this book, please take a moment and leave a review. Your review is the greatest gift you can give an author.