The Pages of the Mind

by Jeffe Kennedy

  “I’m surprised you cared so much for my fate.”

  Kral heaved out a sigh and folded his hands together on the table, a habit Harlan shared. “Many years have passed since you left, and I am not the same man I was. I . . . have regretted the nature of our parting. I would not have sought you out—would not have known how to—but now hlyti has brought us together. I knew it as soon as we landed at Ehas and heard your name in the rumors. I wish to make amends with you.”

  “These are easy, and convenient, words to say.” Harlan considered. “Show me you mean to work together with us.”

  Kral thought a moment. “Illyria’s presence here could have had something to do with a man who calls himself a High Priest of the Twelve Kingdoms, who has been consorting with the temple.”

  I gasped and Harlan sat upright at that. “What do you say?”

  “I know primarily from gossip. It’s unusual for a man to both wear pink—I saw those pink-garbed priests in your court—and be foreign. But it is a connection. I’m willing to trade information and assistance in return for being allowed to take my men home. Along with an explanation for the attack on Nahanau and restitution for the damage King Nakoa KauPo and his people suffered.”

  Ursula had been patient with Harlan falling into conversation with his brother and translating only intermittently. She trusted both of us to fill her in completely later—or trusted her ability to badger us into doing so. But she had caught our alarm and surprise and spoke up sharply. “Translate.”

  “Kral says that, if I’m not mistaken, Queen Amelia’s missing High Priest may have found his way to Dasnaria and is in the company of the Temple of Deyrr.”

  Anger flared in her gaze and she just stopped herself from putting a hand to her sword. “Then he’s a traitor. Don’t translate that.”

  “Kral is offering the information as a token of goodwill. He knows we have him trapped and he . . . wishes to make amends with me for past offenses.” Harlan explained the terms and Ursula thought about it while I took out a blank parchment, anticipating the agreement to be drawn up.

  “Do you trust him?”

  “I don’t distrust him.” Harlan looked long at her, as if seeking some kind of anchor. “I think you have nothing to lose. The restitution he asks is something your honor and sense of responsibility would compel you to do regardless, especially as these people fall within your realm. You will have to address the issue of any other ships trapped within the barrier, so you’ll have to set policy on that. I advise downplaying the accidental nature of the incident and simply offer assistance in helping them return home.”

  “If Andi can even do it.”

  “Something we’ll need to know,” I pointed out. “We’re facing the same situation Salena and the Tala did if we’re trapped within our own magical barrier, except over a bigger area and hopefully with more time.” Zynda and I had debated this during my time in Annfwn. An argument she’d made had stuck with me, an uneasy thought. What if magic is more like fire and the more fuel it has, the hotter it burns?

  “What about this treasure he thinks we tried to take, the gold?”

  Kral smiled easily when Harlan asked. “The Nahanau islands are rich in many ways. Why else attack? Be warned, however, King Nakoa KauPo is most obstinate. He will not see his islands assimilated into another realm easily. Dasnaria has been trying for years.”

  Harlan studied his brother. “Why not simply take a force and conquer?”

  “Far more easily said than done. Your queen will want to send an ambassador to negotiate. Someone nonthreatening.” His gaze lingered on me a moment before he pulled it away. “Do we have a deal or not?” He was evading, but Harlan let it go and I agreed with his choice. It likely didn’t matter.

  Harlan summarized the last for Ursula, who nodded crisply and held out a hand to Kral. “Let’s hammer out the agreement, then.”

  She surprised him only for a moment; then Kral clasped hers in return, flashing a glance at Harlan. “She has sword calluses.”

  Harlan grinned, looking pleased for the first time since Kral’s arrival. “I know. A large factor in her seducing me and bending me to her will.”

  “Hmm.” Kral released Ursula’s hand and bowed slightly from the waist, his respect solidified. “I begin to understand the attraction. Are there more like her?”

  “Women warriors? As a matter of fact, there are. Once we make this agreement, I shall introduce you.”

  “Then, let us have at it. Scribe away, nyrri.” Kral gestured at me. “I find myself hungry for more than meat.”

  That part didn’t take long at all. I had my notes, so we simply reviewed the terms and I wrote it out twice—once in Common Tongue and once in Dasnarian. Kral and Ursula set their seals to both. The logistics would take more discussion, but with relief we left the council chambers with the possibility of conflict resolved. Ursula walked ahead, escorting Kral, while Harlan and I followed behind.

  “Will you really introduce him to one of the women warriors?”

  Harlan lifted one shoulder and let it fall. “I will pass the word to Jepp of Kral’s interest, and she can tell the Hawks. Best to keep it within their ranks. More than one will likely be interested in Kral’s offer. They know how to handle Dasnarian men.”

  I shouldn’t have asked the question, because I blushed then. Any number of women at Ordnung had sampled what the Vervaldr offered and talked about the results as very satisfactory. I couldn’t see the appeal, myself, much as I liked Harlan.

  He must have sensed my unease because he patted my shoulder. “Have no concerns, librarian. Kral may be a shark, but he’d never take a woman unwilling.”

  “What is that word he calls me?” I asked him. “Is it an insult?”

  Harlan grimaced slightly. “Not exactly. I don’t think he means it as such, but you might take offense.”

  Not like him to be less than straightforward. “Just tell me.”

  “It means a small, female nature spirit, one that lives in the cinnamon trees. Your eyes are very much that color and you are . . .”

  “Short,” I filled in.

  “Which is not an insult,” he hastened to add. “But compared to Dasnarians, you do seem unusually . . . I can’t think of the right word in your tongue.”

  Ursula made a snorting sound and said over her shoulder, “Yes, you can. You just don’t want to say it.”

  “It’s fine,” I said. “I understand now.”

  We entered the dining hall. Despite the late hour, an astonishing number of people had gathered to enjoy a celebration of coming to accord with the Dasnarians. Ursula asked Harlan to show his brother a seat—now as guest of honor—and to provide him with whatever he wanted. “I will pass word to Jepp,” she informed him wryly.

  “So you can give instructions?”

  She smiled thinly. “And so you can talk to your brother. Extract some of those amends he owes you, so I don’t have to.” Though she tried to pass it off as a joke, her quiet concern for him showed through.

  He laughed, a soft one, and shook his head. “Will you fight all the world for me?”

  “Yes. Which I don’t have time for.”

  Kral looked back and forth between them, apparently bemused. Harlan lifted Ursula’s hand and bowed over it, kissing the back. His fingers caressed her palm as he did and I wondered if she knew how he felt about her calluses.

  “Come, shark,” Harlan said to his brother. “Let us take a cup of wine together and talk of old times.”

  “Have you anything stronger than wine, rabbit?”

  “I might. I just might.”

  5

  After staying through some obligatory toasts, I passed on the remainder of the party, exhaustion crashing over me. Even so, by the time I left, Harlan and Kral had already put away a fair amount of some liquor Brandur brought from the Vervaldr barracks, and several female Hawks, including Jepp, were matching them shot for shot. Ursula stuck to wine but seemed amused to sit by and watch, nodding absently when I ex
cused myself.

  When I awoke, easily an hour or two past my usual rising time, I wasn’t surprised to find a page waiting, asking me to attend Ursula in her chambers as soon as I’d had my tea. Feeling more than a little abashed and lazy at sleeping so long, I pulled myself together with a quick wash in the handbasin while my tea brewed, then took the pot with me. Ursula liked the same blend, one from Nebeltfens.

  I found her at her desk, surrounded by scrolls and various missives, and filled her empty cup. She looked remarkably bright-eyed considering she must have stayed up far later than I. Since Harlan’s advent she seemed to sleep far more and better. All those years of short nights and restless pacing had probably made her more tolerant of lost sleep, and getting more rest these days improved her resilience enviably.

  “Where is Captain Harlan?” I asked.

  She made a face. “Passed out sometime before dawn. Can’t you hear him? Listen a moment.”

  A rattle, something between an angry bear and thunder, echoed through the closed door to her sleeping chambers just then. “Goddesses,” I whispered.

  She grinned in fond amusement. “I don’t know how I sleep through it, but I do. And you don’t need to whisper—he’s like the dead. It’s rare for him not to notice I’ve gotten up, and it’s been hours. If not for the snoring, I’d be concerned.”

  “I’m sorry I overslept.”

  “Don’t be. You needed it, too. I’ve been for my workout, tended to some business, had one pot of tea, and am happy to share another. I’m glad Harlan is still sleeping so you and I can discuss next steps in private.”

  I got out my notes. “So, you’ll want to determine what supplies we can—”

  “Not about that,” she interrupted. “Yes, we’ll have to determine that, but I’ve already talked to Lise and set a few people to work on deciding what we can spare most easily. Thank Danu for Groningen’s largesse. Later today, I’ll get Harlan to interview Kral—sober, preferably—on exactly what the Nahanauns will need most and how best to negotiate with this King Nakoa KauPo. Zynda has already left for Annfwn. She’ll explain the situation to Andi and come straight back, hopefully by this evening.”

  “You have been busy this morning. We both know the fastest way to Nahanau would be through Annfwn.”

  She was already shaking her head. “No way in the Twelve—Thirteen—am I letting Kral get a look at Annfwn’s bounty, even if I wasn’t sure Rayfe would have my head for it. No, Kral’s ship is in Ehas, so you’ll travel there and sail around the Crane Isthmus, taking the most important emergency supplies, with our ships following behind later with the less critical. Depending on Andi’s reply, she can either meet you there from Annfwn, as she can probably shift into a fish or some such and swim there, or she might be able to control the barrier from the Heart and assist with sending you through from a distance.”

  I’d been taking notes as she talked. Paused. “‘You’? As in . . . me?”

  “I want you to go with them, Dafne.”

  I felt myself gaping at her, my brain clearly not awake enough. Picking up my teacup, I drank deeply, willing the kick to penetrate to my mind along with the warmth. “You want me to go to Nahanau?”

  “Yes,” she said, laying her palms flat on the desk. “And from there to Dasnaria.”

  “But . . . I—I can’t.”

  She held up a hand. “Hear me out. If you find a flaw in my logic, I’ll reconsider.” She stood and started pacing. “This is what I’m thinking. I need someone to smooth the way with this King Nakoa KauPo. Kral told me more last night, when he was well into his cups. The man is a warrior king, very difficult to deal with. The Nahanauns treat him like a god. You can present the supplies as a gift and sweeten him up for later discussions of how to merge our kingdoms. Kral offered to help you with translation from Dasnarian to Nahanaun. You won’t need to say much—don’t tell him anything about the magic barrier yet; we’ll wait until Andi knows more about manipulating this new version. You’re good at that kind of diplomacy.”

  “All right, but . . . Dasnaria?”

  “If Kir is in Dasnaria and conspiring with the Temple of Deyrr, it’s possible that he’s the one behind Illyria coming here to seek the Star of Annfwn. He knew something about the dolls Salena left us—at least enough to have interfered with the magical tool Salena left Ami in hers. It’s not clear what Deyrr knew before, but it seems they’ve put their pieces together to come up with a purpose for it. Thus the answers to why Deyrr wants the Star—along with how badly, what they plan to do with it, if they will make another attempt, what we need to do to counter it—all lie in Dasnaria, with the temple.

  “You speak Dasnarian; you read it as well, including older books and documents with their more archaic texts. You know how to do the research and you’re already familiar with Deyrr, to the extent any of us is. I’d send Harlan to find out, but we both know he’s too stubborn to go, especially with all the unrest here, and besides, he doesn’t have your talent for ferreting out information. Nor does he have your particular subtlety and guile.”

  “My . . . my guile?” I couldn’t seem to stop stammering.

  She gave me a look both stern and amused. “Please, librarian. You vanished yourself from Uorsin’s attention, something that only Andi also accomplished, and now we know she had magic to help her. You didn’t. And you not only survived the court here, but lived to see your long-term plans unfold. You manage me better than Derodotur ever did my father—don’t think I don’t notice and appreciate it. You manage Andi and Ami equally well, which means you’re very good at reading people and adapting to their personalities. More, you look like a nyrri to the Dasnarians, on top of being female, so they won’t suspect you and they’ll underestimate you.” She stopped in front of her desk, leaning against it. “You’re the perfect spy.”

  I’d mustered some coherent thoughts while she spoke. “Spies know how to defend themselves. I do not.”

  “I’ll teach you some tricks. If Ash could get the basics through Ami’s stubborn skull, then by Danu I can teach you. And I’m not sending you alone. I’m asking Jepp and Zynda to go with you. Zynda can continue to be our messenger and Jepp can be your guide and bodyguard. Nobody gets past her knives. Also, she knows enough of the Dasnarian customs and language by now to be an asset—even if most of it is related to sex play.” She smiled sourly.

  “But you need me here.”

  Ursula sobered, going intense in that Danu-channeling way she had. “I need you more there. I wouldn’t ask it of you if I didn’t. We need eyes—and ears—in Dasnaria. You’re the only one who can do this.” It seemed far too huge to contemplate. Harlan’s voice echoed in my head: Hlyti is playing a fine game with me.

  For a time I’d thought hlyti meant fate, until I asked him one day.

  “Hlyti,” he’d said, “is more as Queen Amelia believed Glorianna guided her steps in bringing magic back to the Twelve. But not an actual deity.”

  “ ‘Fate,’ we would say, which does sound like a similar derivation,” I’d answered.

  He’d rumbled a thoughtful sound, then shook his head. “Perhaps so, but in that case the meanings have migrated. Other words I’ve found close to hlyti are ‘serendipity’ and ‘coincidence.’ Still, they are not quite right. It’s following one path over another for no good reason other than some sense that it will take you to the place you need to be.” He slanted me a sly look. “Perhaps like your desire to learn a language you don’t need.”

  “That is something else entirely. I want to learn because the best fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.”

  “And you feel you must have this fence?”

  “Don’t we all? Each of us is under siege in some way. You have your muscles, your weapons and warrior’s skills. I do not. But knowledge is more than equivalent to force, some say.”

  “Hmm. A great Dasnarian poet said, ‘It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield.’ �
�

  His words felt like a prophecy now, of this mission Ursula laid before me. How would I get access to the texts? How would I know where to find the people of the temple and get them to talk to me? I’d have to figure it out, make a plan. But how do you plan for something you know nothing about? All I could do was get through one moment and to the next. Deep breaths. Ursula was watching me closely, so I summoned a smile for her.

  I could no more refuse her than I could the goddess herself.

  “All right, I’ll go.” I nearly lost my breath saying it. Was I really going to do this? “But I am not getting myself married to some Dasnarian prince, if that’s what you’re plotting.”

  She didn’t laugh. Instead she straightened and put her hand over her heart, giving me the Hawks’ salute. “Thank you, Dafne.”

  A first for me, of course. A salutation for warriors, for the brave adventurers. It gutted me and it seemed in that moment that maybe I could be something more than I’d been. I stood and, instead of curtsying, I returned the salute.

  “Thank you, my Queen.”

  I’d just become one of her Hawks.

  The next morning found me doing something I’d never envisioned—learning basic self-defense. And from not just Ursula. I’d reported to the private courtyard at dawn as ordered by my queen to find Harlan and Jepp waiting also.

  Ursula scowled at the sight of my fighting leathers. “How old are those?”

  “Old. It’s not as if I need them often,” I answered, feeling more than a little cranky about it all. And it wasn’t like I had access to an unlimited wardrobe budget. “Besides, you’re sending me as an ambassador, which means I’ll be wearing court gowns most of the time. If I have to defend myself, it will likely be in a dress.”

  She sighed for the truth of it and turned her razor gaze on Jepp. “Dafne has a point. As you travel, you’ll have to work with her in her everyday clothes, too.”