Loving Annabelle

by Priscilla Melinda Visser

  “I’m heading out for a bit are you going to be okay?” I ask Adele as she sits in front of laptop typing away. She motions to me to go without looking at me and I make my way out the door. The new nanny was starting today and I really didn’t want to be in the way when they were getting to know each other. I needed to see some publishers about my book and I needed to look for a place to stay. I drive into the city bowl and look around at the familiar places and all the unfamiliar places too. I drive up to where she used to work and wondered if she was still there. Just as I was about to pull away I see her coming out of the office building. She had on her favorite color… Pink. She looks up and starts to wave. There was a man standing by a car waving back at her. She walks up to him and they embrace. I feel my hopes sinking to my feet. He takes her hand and they walk across the street into one of the coffee shops. I decide to get out of my car and follow them. I just needed to see her talk to her maybe just one more time. I enter the coffee shop and I see them sitting by the window. He was holding her hand and she looked happy. I wondered if she was ever really happy with me. I take a seat somewhere out of view but close enough to hear them speak. They were married! This was her husband. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was completely broken and shattered. She had found someone else. It was only four years since our divorce and already she was married again. I’m lost within my thoughts and in my failure. I get up from the table and then she sees me. “Adam?” I hear her voice and I want to say it’s not me, but I know she recognized me when she gets up from her chair. I try to keep my composer normal. “Claudia” I say and she looks surprised to see me too. We stand looking at each other for what seems like forever and then she puts her arms around me and holds me close. I feel awkward and out of place under her husband’s stare. “I thought you were in Afghanistan?” She says and I smile at her when she lets me go and just looks at me. “I was… Just came back a couple of weeks ago” I say and she pulls me towards their table and I know what is about to happen. “Adam… this is my husband Ben” She says and he gets up from his chair puts out his hand to me and I take it. “It’s an honor to finally meet the brave Adam Spencer” Ben says and motions to me to take a seat. I want to decline but something inside me can’t get out of this situation. Something inside me wanted to know everything about her new life and new husband. I nearly missed my appointment from catching up with Claudia and her husband. She seemed very happy. He was an older man a doctor and more content with his life than I ever was. That is what she wanted a man who wasn’t going to leave her for the rush of life. She was expecting their first child. That was the hardest part for me to process. The child meant that we would never be together. She had everything she ever wanted there was nothing more I could give her.

  I left the coffee shop feeling at peace and completely broken all at the same time. The meeting with the publishers went well and we will be starting with the layout and photo selection in the next few days. It was something to look forward to I guess. I pull up to Adele’s house and I see Cole’s car parked outside. I know that my sister had a meeting with her publishers and wonders what he could be doing here. Then I remembered the new nanny had started today. I get out of the car and quickly walk up to the house. The house is quiet and I wonder where they could be. Softly I hear voices speaking in the kitchen and I see Cole sitting by the counter talking to the new nanny. She was smiling at him and I know that he was soft soaping her. They seem startled when I walk in on them and she starts blushing. Cole then gets up and makes his excuses and says his departures. He kisses Ethan on the forehead and walks out of the house. The nanny looks at me and I can see that she is taken by Cole’s and his wicked tongue. I shake my head at her and walk up the stairs. So it went on for about a month nanny’s coming and going but no-one could resist the charms of Cole the pig. It was disgusting really and I knew that I couldn’t leave my sister alone with this man hanging around; he might just climb into her head and start manipulating her to take him back. The divorce was almost final she just had to stick out a few more weeks and then she will be a very wealthy woman. Beside his sudden sex addiction wasn’t really helping him at all. Adele was acting strange the last couple of weeks and I noticed that she looked different too.

  The last nanny had just resigned said she couldn’t handle Cole always hanging around and watching her. Adele was tired and then I noticed it; her stomach peeping out ever so slightly underneath her dress like a little muffin top. The court case for the divorce was a day away and she looked stressed. “Adele… Are you okay? How are you feeling?” I ask as she comes walking in on me in the study. Ethan was hanging around her like a little puppy dog. She looks at me and frowns. “I’m fine… I just really need another set of hands around the house” She says and pulls and accusing face at me. I start laughing. “Then get a new nanny” I say and continue looking through the photos. She comes walking closer and I look up at her. “How far along are you?” I ask and she closes her eyes. She pauses for a moment and I know that has been hiding it on purpose. “Eight weeks” She says and touches her forehead. She closes her eyes and I see the shame written all over her face. “He was my husband okay… I couldn’t just cut him off like that… But it’s over now and he is out of my life” She starts to explain. I stand up straight and look at her. I pull her into my arms and hold her close. “One more day… Then he will be out of my life” She says and I smile down at her. We hear Ethan crying as he wakes up from his nap and she shakes her head at me and starts walking towards the downstairs guest room where he slept during the day. “You need to get a new nanny” I say as I hear her sighing loud and tiredly.

  “Jane… Please meet my brother Adam… He lives here too” I hear Adele speaking as I come walking down the hall into the kitchen. Its two months after the divorce was finalized. She stands with her back towards me and I frown. Adele had found a new nanny, I thought she wasn’t looking. She turns around I and feel like I was seeing double. It couldn’t be. She turns to me and holds out her hand. “Hi I’m Jane Brewster it’s a pleasure to meet you” She doesn’t sound foreign I don’t understand. It must be a trick or something. “Hi…” I say and shake her hand softly. I look at her and it feels like I’m being transported back to Afghan… She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was a soldier with the British troops. She had tried her best to free me when I was in captive but it cost her her life. “Well Jane is our new nanny” Adele says and I still feel like I was looking at someone brought back from the dead. Was God playing tricks on me? Jane looks out of place and so does Adele as I stare at her without an expression or word coming out. “Adam… Are you okay…? You look like you’ve seen a ghost” Adele says and Jane walks to the kitchen table and puts down her purse. “Well… It feels that way.” I say and walk to the study. I look through all my photos there must be a photo of her. I must… Then I find it. I hold it up to the light and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Never had I seen something like this before. It was as if they were the same person. Their body build was different, but everything else… I walk back to the kitchen as Adele introduces Jane to Ethan and give her the photo. She takes it from me and stands looking at it for along time. “It strange… You look exactly like her” I say and Jane hands me back the photo. She doesn’t say anything just smiles. I take the photo and know that it must have freaked her out just like it had me moments ago. Adele comes walking over to me and grabs the photo. “Let me see” She says and then she hold her breath. “My goodness… She does look just like you Jane… Wow” Adele says and Jane presses her lips together and smiles. Did she know Abigail or was she just silent out of shock. “That is so weird really… Very strange” Jane says and then I hear the faint English accent coming through. “She is my sister; my older sister.” Jane says and I feel completely blown away. What were the chances of me meeting her sister here in my sister’s house? The sister she had told me about all those nights we spent in the bunker and under the stars. Here she was standing in front of me. She becam
e my best friend. “How did you know her…?” Jane asks suddenly and I don’t know what to say really. “I met her while I was stationed in Afghanistan as a photographer” I say and she nods her head. She was sad and I could see that she missed her sister dearly. “She is dead right, that is why you have the photo of her” Jane says cold and harshly. I close my eyes. “Yes she is…” I say and Adele hands me back the photo. The silence hangs heavy in the room when suddenly there is a knock on the door. Adele looks at me and we both look at the door. We wonder who it could be this time of the morning. Before we could wonder any further Cole lets himself in. He looks livid and angry. “When were you going to tell me you were pregnant Adele?” He starts screaming the words at her. She looks at him silently. “I saw you last night at the store… Were you going to hide this from me forever…” He starts accusing her and Jane gets her queue she picks up Ethan and starts walking outside into the back yard. I stand firm by my sister’s side waiting for Cole to make his move. “I wanted the divorce to be final before I told you” She says and shakes her head. “Why? Why the wait? Afraid you were going to loose all my money if I found out that the kid wasn’t mine hah?” Cole says and I see the life draining from Adele face. She slaps him across the face and he flinches to strike her back but I move forward. “You think I’m like you? You think I’m a dirty cheat like you?” Adele is now angry. Cole standing looking at her; waiting for something to happen. “Get out of my house!” She screams to him and he comes walking closer to her. I take step forward and he stops. “As soon as that kid is born I want paternity tests done… And I swear Adele if that kid is not mine… I will be taking you for everything you’ve got” He says and starts walking away. Adele suddenly starts to laugh. Cole stops and looks at her. “I’m four months pregnant so why don’t you do the math you lying sack of shit!” She says and points he middle finger at him. “And guess what… it’s a little girl” She says and walks back to my side. “Get out of my house Cole” She says again very calmly and turns to walk out to where Jane and Ethan were playing. Cole gives me a last look and walks out of the door with a loud bang. “I thought he was going to hit me” Adele says and I look at her making sure that she was okay. “He wouldn’t dare” I say and then the thought hits me. Did he beat her? Well than its best if I stay here until I know that she is safe. There was no way I was letting that maniac close her while she is pregnant. Jane and Ethan come walking towards us on the patio and Adele smiles brightly at the spiked haired little boy. Jane looks troubled and upset and I wonder what could be going on in her mind. “Are you okay Jane?” I ask and she looks at me and back to Adele who is holding Ethan and walking back into the house. “Is that her husband?” Jane asks and points to the air where Cole had stood moments before. I look at her and nod. She frowns. “I had seen him before somewhere I really can’t put my finger on it though…” She says and shakes her head. I see the wheels turning in her mind but I’m fascinated by the face. Abigail Brewster’s younger sister was standing in front of me. The first woman I ever loved since Claudia but with her I could never be… I wasn’t what she was looking for and I had to respect that, but I couldn’t help myself from loving her. “So tell me Jane… What brings you to South Africa?” I ask trying to steer the conversation into a different direction and light the mood. “Oh me… Studies. I was actually born here… My sister and I… My father worked in diplomacy and we moved to England when I was about four. My sister decided to join the army which my father protest against, but she always cared more for other people than she did her own. There wasn’t much we could do when she had made up her mind it was so.” Jane talks and I listen to her attentively savoring every word as it leaves her mouth. It was as if I was transported back to Afghan and listening to Abigail all over again. “I can’t believe you knew her, the world is indeed small hey” Jane asks the question and I’m not sure what to answer. I smile at her and sigh. “She was one of the few friends I made on my last tour. She was also part of the team that rescued me and other captured from the Afghani hold… That is how she lost her life by saving me; by saving us.” I feel broken and gutted as I see Jane look at me with so much hurt in her heart. I wanted to shift the mood and now I had only made it worse. She looks at me and sighs before she starts walking back into the house. She didn’t cry but I could see that she was hurt. “Are you guys hungry I’m going to make lunch now” Adele starts talking as we enter the kitchen again. “No thank you… I have to get going” Jane says and I feel alarmed. Why is she leaving? “Oh Okay… uhm… I will see you tomorrow then?” Adele asks and Jane nods her head. I feel at ease again knowing that she will be here again tomorrow and the day after and the day after. Jane picks up her bag and starts walking towards the door. “Goodbye I will see tomorrow around two” She says and exits. She is cold as ice. Maybe I should not have told her how her sister had died. Yes, that was a mistake. I feel like kicking myself for being such a fool. Adele walks over to Ethan and picks him up and kisses him on the forehead. I look at her and she frowns at me. “What’s the matter?” She asks and comes walking closer. I can’t really think about how to answer her back. “Do you believe in chance?” She looks at me and smiles. “What do you mean?” She asks and makes Ethan sit on the counter beside us. “Jane… I lost Abigail back in Afghan and now here she is again… In the form of her younger sister” I say and shake my head. Adele looks at me suspiciously. “Did you and her sister see each other?” Adele asks and I shake my head. “No no… She was… She was gay…” I say and Adele is openly shocked. “But I couldn’t help but love her” I say and she smiles softly. “She kept it a secret out of fear of hate crimes and that is how we got close” I say and Adele makes ohs and ahs as she begins to understand. “But I mean… what are the chances of Jane being here…” I say and throw my hands up in the air. I could jump up to the heaven and kiss Abigail for blessing me like this. “Do you think she is gay too?” Adele suddenly says and I’m brought back to reality. I frown at her. “And what makes you think that she would want you? She doesn’t look like the kind of girl that would date someone like you” Adele says and lifts Ethan off the counter and walks around me to take out a pan. I stand thinking about it for a second. She was right I was completely getting way to ahead of myself. They might look the same but they are two completely different people.