Loving Annabelle

by Priscilla Melinda Visser

  “I have to go to Johannesburg for a couple of days… I asked Jane to come and stay here since Cole is out of town until Friday” Adele says over her laptop as she glares at me questioning. The last couple of weeks have been crazy with the pressure of getting my book done and at the publisher to my growing love for Jane. We have barely spoken the last week since she was busy with her studies and only came around when Adele really needed her and when she did get a moment or two free she would have her nose in her books. I felt a bit left out but I also tried not to interfere with her studies it was important to her and I had to respect it.

  I look over at Adele who is seemingly waiting for me to say something in return but I have to admit that I barely heard a word that she said since I was reading some of the narrative my writer friend Owen had written for me to accompany my photos. It wasn’t really what I was looking for but I was too bad with words to say the least. It was missing something and I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Okay… So when are you leaving?” I ask trying to entertain Adele’s conversation. She looks at me and gets up from the chair and walks to sink to pour herself some water. “Tomorrow morning… I will be back on Sunday” She says and looks at me while drinking her water. “Cole will come and pick up Ethan for the weekend on Saturday so make sure that everything is packed. I will make a list of everything that needs to be in the bag and just follow it to the tee and you should be fine” Adele says and walks back to her laptop. She presses a few buttons and then closes the screen. “Good night Adam” She says softly and kisses my hair softly. I look up at her and feel her growing belly push against my shoulder. “Good night sis…” I say and watch her waddle towards her bedroom. I shake my head trying to get the sleep to go from me but I was just too tired. There was nothing more I could to then rest. It was going to be a long four days with Adele gone. I get up from my chair and switch my laptop off and make my way to my bedroom. There I lie awake for a while looking at the ceiling thinking about all my photos and the stories behind them. There were significant things about it that I will never forget. Maybe I should use my true experience as narrative? It could work. I should try it tomorrow I think and close my eyes.

  I hear a faint knock on my door and she peep her head in. I try to force my eyes open to look at her but it feels like I had some couple of bad shots of straw rum last night. Maybe it was because I might have had to much sleep. Sometimes it happens to me that I get insanely bad headaches when I’ve overslept. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you… I’m going now… Are you going to be okay until Jane gets here?” Adele asks as she comes walking further into the room. I sit up trying to numb the deafening thumbing sound in my head.

  “Yeah… I’ll be okay. Is he still sleeping?” I ask as I pull on a t-shirt and my slippers. Adele starts walking towards the door again. “No… his lying in front of the TV…” Adele says and I look at the time. It’s only five o’clock in the morning. Okay this is not going to fly. I see Ethan lying with his blanket flat on his stomach on the lounge carpet watching cartoons. I shake my heading thinking that its way to early to be watching cartoons. “Here is the list of things that needs to go with him to Cole’s and this is the shopping list if one you can do it I would really appreciate it. Oh and Jane will be sleeping over from tonight” Adele says quickly as we hear a horn blowing outside the door. Wait what? She grabs her bags and quickly runs over to Ethan and kisses him on the forehead and I walk behind her like a zombie. I’m trying to digest what she had just said… Jane was sleeping over? “I will see you on Sunday morning…” She says and gives me quick kiss on the cheek and runs towards the waiting taxi. I wave goodbye to her and stand in the cold September air and breathe in hard. Jane was sleeping over. Oh shit I still have the conference today and the diner tonight… Shit! I completely forgot about it. It’s really going to be a very long couple of days. I walk back inside and close the door. The house is still dark and only the light of the TV is casting some light to the open plan kitchen and lounge area. Ethan is laughing silly at the cartoon and I decide to plant myself on the couch and stare at the TV. It was quite funny the show and the screen reflect bright and loud in my eyes.

  I smell something delicious… Bacon and eggs maybe or was it sausage I’m not quite sure but I smell coffee.

  I look up at the clock it on the wall. Oh shit it was almost eight thirty. I was late. I fly up from the couch bump my toe on the side edge of the book rack and then I nearly fall flat on my face on one of Ethan’s monster trucks lying all over the kitchen floor. I look up at their horrified faces sitting at the kitchen table and try to pull myself together slowly. Jane looks at me and doesn’t say a word. “I’m late” Is all I can get out as she gets up from her chair and walks towards the kitchen counter. “I will get you some coffee and something to eat while you get ready” Jane says and nods her head at me. Ethan looks at me and smiles brightly egg yellow dripping from his chin. I smile at him and then run to my room and I jump into the shower and wash only the necessary area and climb out. Shave or not? God there was no time. I pull on my jeans and my shirt. Thank God it’s ironed and my boots. Grab my jacket and head out of the room. She was busy buttering my toast and she had faint smile pulling on her lips. Wow she was beautiful. I could wake up to her calm and at peace aura everyday. I run into the study and quickly pack up my laptop and grab my bag. I look at the clock I still have fifteen minutes before I had to leave. I slow my heart beat as I take a seat at the table and look at the carefully made beacon and egg sandwich. It looks delicious. She had cut it into two pieces and I look at her. She had made it easy for me to eat. I take the first bite and I fall hard. This woman was truly a dream come true. I watch her take the last bite from her plate and then she wipes Ethan’s mouth and looks at me smiling. She doesn’t say a word but moves swiftly through the kitchen clearing the empty plates and cups. I eat quickly but also not trying to choke or miss any of her movements. I watch as she lifts Ethan out of his feeding chair and he runs outside to the back yard. I take the last bite of my food and get up from the chair and walk to the sink where she is standing sipping her last bit of coffee. The faint smile still pulling on her face in amusement at whatever is dancing around in her mind has me baffled. I frown down at her and she looks up at me. I feel my body growing hot under her stare. And then he starts to move. Oh shit. I’ve got to get out of here. I sip the last of my coffee and put the cup in the basin. She stands looking at me not saying a word and right there in that moment. I wasn’t sure what had gotten in to me but I just had too. I walked closer to her and she kept looking at me I put my hand on her cheek softly feeling her skin still she was looking into my eyes. Then without warning my phone started ringing loud and vibrating hard on the kitchen table. She lets out a little gasp and closes her eyes. We both swallow hard and look at the phone. She smiles at me and I shake my head. “You’re going to be late” She says and licks her lips I close my eyes and press my lips together. “Yeah…” I say and start walking to the table as the phone starts ringing again. I see the name and nudge my head at her. “Alec… Yeah… I know I completely forgot about it. Had a lot on my mind lately” I say and look at Jane standing at the kitchen sink watching my every move. Something in her had changed it was like she… She was attracted to me too but where did it come from. “I will see you later then” I say and put the phone to my chest and she looks at me smiling. “Enjoy your day” She says and starts walking to the patio. I watch her disappear through the doors and start talking on my phone again. It was going to be a long ass day I think as I close the front door behind me.

  The drive to the conference is quick but my mind is on Jane. Jane that was ready to have me. I meant she looked like was going to kiss me back if we ever got to that. Did she want me? But why would she want me? Did I drop something that made her realize that I was in love with her? I couldn’t understand it. Maybe Adele had planted some wicked seeds in her head about me. I shake my head trying to get my thoughts in a row. She hadn’t been by the house while
she busy with her exams and when she was there we barely talked but I understood why. Everything about her this morning was different, calm and inviting. She looked at me like she was reading my thoughts and all my thoughts shouted was I love you. The conference was as always amazing. Meeting up with old friends from around the world and catching up was great too. Even seeing Claudia with her very pregnant stomach was wonderful.

  “You look different” I look at Sam as she stares at me narrow eyed. I put the prawn dripping with garlic butter sauce in my mouth. “What?” I ask as I chew my favorite food. Seafood was my weakness. “Yeah you’re right Sam he looks like… Like” Edgar snaps his fingers in the air trying to find the right word to best describe me right now… “Happy?” Sam but in Edgar’s thoughts and he looks at me frowning. I look at them and shake my head trying to make sense of what they were getting at. “Happy… yes… But why?” Edgar suddenly asks and Sam has a wondering look on her face too. “Yeah; why are you so happy?” She asks and looks at me questioning. I really don’t know what they are talking about and then her face pops into my head. I feel my body growing hot again. “Oh my God… You’ve met someone!” Sam almost shouts out so hard the rest of the restaurant looks in our direction. Edgar starts laughing and I can feel my face becoming bright red. I look at Edgar waiting for him to say something in my defense but he just holds his hands up defeated. Edgar and Samantha is a couple I met while being in Afghan they were from South Africa too but was based in the States. They worked together. Sam was a writer and Edgar the photographer. I never understood how they did it but it worked for them. When we were freed they decided to get married. Staring death in the face changes a man I sit thinking. “So who is she” Sam asks and takes another sip of her white wine. I look at her knowing that if I told her she would not believe me or worse she would think that I was looking for a substitute. I decide to not say too much at his point I wasn’t even sure what was happening between Jane and me either, so I told them the little I knew. “It’s my sister nanny… But nothing has happened.” I say and quickly rectify the status before they start making assumptions. Edgar frowns at me. “The nanny… And what makes her so special” Edgar asks and I know exactly what he means. I’m not attracted to woman who has no adventure in their souls. A nanny might seem like a common boring job but Jane was different kind of nanny. “She is a student and she helps my sister out with Ethan when her work gets too much. She a writer and studies Literature. She also looks at my photos and I see nothing in her eyes that makes me guilty for doing what I’m doing… It’s like she gets me” I say and they seem impressed. I sigh knowing that I’m safe for now. “So you and the nanny get it on when the kids’ a sleep and sissy is out” Sam jokes and I turn bright red. Gosh I wish that was the case. “No… We actually haven’t done anything. In fact she doesn’t even have and idea about how I feel” I say and feel lost in my thoughts again. Sam looks at me frowning. “So you’re in love with her and she doesn’t know it?” Edgar says waving his fork around in the air. “Something like that” I shake my head and start eating again. Sam looks at Edgar and then she asks the question I know I have dreaded since this conversation had started. “So why don’t you just tell her who you feel?” She asks and they both sit waiting for me to answer. “It’s complicated.” I say and hope that that is enough but they were not going to let me off the hook that easy. “What does that mean” Sam says and Edgar stuffs his face with chips. I look at her and I know that maybe telling them would not be such a bad thing. “It means that she is unobtainable right now” I say and Sam looks at me confused. “She is a virgin…” I blurt out and Sam nearly drops her fork in her wine. I hear Edgar choke on a fry and I put my fork down and let out a deep sigh. “What is she ten” Sam says sarcastically but then looks at me with all seriousness in her face. “No she is not a child you sick twisted human being” I say and Edgar starts laughing. “She is twenty nine… She says she just hasn’t found the right man yet.” Sam throws her hands in the air out of relieve and something else. “Oh God… She’s one of those ‘no sex before marriage girls’ isn’t she? Good luck with that one” She says and fills her glass up with more wine. Edgar looks at me and I see the naughty spark dancing in his eyes. “A virgin… Wow… Just think about it. No-one but you will be there for like the first time in like forever… I bet the girl you lost your virginity wasn’t a virgin herself… Hell, now this is something… No-one she can compare you with and you will have to teach her everything sexy and erotic” Edgar says and Sam glares at him. “Well all I’m saying is that a girl with those kinds of morals is not going to suck your dick with love and affection… That would not be the way she was raised” Sam says and Edgar looks at me and I feel uncomfortable. The conversation then shifts in a work direction and we talk about my book and I leave out the part where Jane had helped redo the entire structure of it. I don’t want them digging into her any more then they had already. It will be a conversation for when they meet her. Maybe I should talk to her about the narrative maybe she would have some ideas I mean she was writer after all and she understood my work better than anyone else at this moment.

  We say our goodbyes and I feel sad to watch them go. They had decided to take a break and work on their marriage and maybe start a family. Sam felt that she was ready to hang up her passport and play house for a couple of years. I tried telling her that if they did decide to have a kid they were not going to do what they are doing now. Children need their parents twenty four seven. We hug and agree meet up soon before the book launch and then we walk into our different directions and back to our different lives. I take a deep breath and wonder about tonight and Jane. Maybe I should have told them that she was Abigail’s sister. They were close to Abigail too but it would have seemed weird and they would think the same thing Adele thought, that I was only in love with Jane because I had been in love with Abigail. But the last couple of months I have grown to love Jane for what she had become in my life. She spent some nights up late with me working on the structure of the book and we had a few fight over certain photos. We have also just sat and talk and I would tell her some of my war stories and she would tell me about her life in London and her family. We grew close and sometimes I would catch her staring at me and sometimes I would see her blush when she caught me staring at her. We had in deed fallen in love. I smile at the realization of it. I was suddenly excited and I knew that the time was now, before she went on another meaningless date in search of finding a man who loved her more than he loved sex.