Loving Annabelle

by Priscilla Melinda Visser

  I look at myself in the mirror and feel hot. The dress wasn’t short but it was tight and I loved how it fit my body. I slide by hands over my thighs and up my stomach and then I wonder if James was going to be at Fest. He probably will be… I wonder what he would think if he had to see me know. I see my phone ringing. It was my mother. “Hey mom” I say and she doesn’t even wait for me to say anything. “Annabelle…You are being really irresponsible right now… You know that someone was out there trying to hurt you and still you insist on this type of behaviour.” I roll my eyes and listen to her attentively. “Your father is doing everything he can to make the house safe and now you’re going out partying” She says and I know that I shouldn’t feel so irritated. “Ethan is going to be there and Summer and Peter… Everyone is going to be there… I doubt that this guy is going to try anything with so many people around and I will not go anywhere without someone by my side. Mom…I can’t let this guy control my life like this and I can’t sit in this house another minute. I’m not going to stay our late either” I say and she goes quiet. “Keep your phone on at all times and if you feel anything is not right you call me okay” She says and I sigh. “Yes mother” I say and roll my eyes. “I love you… And enjoy your night” She says and I look at myself in the mirror again. “I love you too mom…” I say and hang up the call. I put my lipstick on and loosen my hair and pin the piece hanging in my face away. I put on my heels and head for the door. “Holy Shit!” I hear someone say behind with a whistle. It was Ethan and Peter. “Wow Princess you clean up good” Peter says and I smile at him. “Just make sure you stay by my side all night… Dressed like that you’re going to get into some serious trouble with all the single guys tonight” Ethan says and I blush. “Wow… You look so fucking hot!!!” I hear Nicole screech behind me and I start laughing. “Maybe I should change” I say and Summer grabs hold of my arm. “Nooo… You clearly want to make a statement and the person it’s addressed too is not in this house…” She says and winks at me. I told her about James and about the kiss. She was over the moon and made me feel so stupid and silly but wonderfully good all at the same time. It was okay to be in love, she said to me and I smile to myself thinking about the revelation. I was in love with James and it was okay to feel that way, even if it is only for a brief moment. “Let’s go guys… To the Fest” She says and we start walking out of the house.

  We went to about three different Fest venues and I had still not seen James anywhere. Maybe I was wrong about him being a party guy. I feel a sting of disappointed and walk outside to take a breather and to regain my composer. The music was loud and not in my taste. I think most of the people here were only out to have a reason to drink and act reckless and irresponsible. I roll my eyes and start walking to the mall. Somehow I had lost everyone and was now roaming around town alone. Luckily it was very busy and the streets were filled with people. I know that I will run into them again somewhere so I just walk trying to clear my mind. The night was still young it was only ten o’clock. I had decided that I would stay out till about twelve and then head home this was really not my scene, but I could not just disappear I needed to catch up with the guys again and let them know. I didn’t want them worrying about me. I walk around and need to use the toilet badly. I enter the Mystic Boer and it’s packed. I make my way through the crowd to the toilets and I’m relieved to see that no one was standing in line. The toilet in this place always gave me the creeps; there were mosaic mirror pieces on the walls and ceiling and old soft pornographic pictures out of the time of Marilyn Monroe’s era. I don’t understand why they had to have a mirror right across from you in the toilet. Why would you want to watch yourself taking a shit? I wipe myself and feel myself throbbing at the sudden stimulation. I wash my hands and look at my face in the mirror and then I smile. I head out and through the crowd again and then I see him at the bar. I feel my heart pounding in my throat. It was now or never. I walk up to him and tap him on his shoulder. “Hi…” I say and see him turn around and he looks at me hard. “Wow… So you’re full Barbie now” I roll my eyes at him and pull his arm. “Please Garett… Can’t we talk about this…? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my plans to go London… I wasn’t even sure about my plans…” I say and he looks at me uninterested and arms folded across his chest. “Please… Can we talk?” I ask and give him my puppy dog eyes I know he could never resist. He looks at me and then he rolls his eyes. “Whatever Barbie… Let me get a drink first… You want one too” He asks and I nod yes. I stand looking around at all the bodies standing around and still no sign of James. I guess he wasn’t coming out tonight. “Come Barbie…” Garett says and I feel a sting of pain at the name calling. “So what do you want to say and this better be good” He says and looks around to see if anyone was watching us. I feel a little uncomfortable and don’t really know how to start this or how to explain this to him without sounding selfish. “A couple of weeks ago I didn’t even think about going to London… But then I started thinking about everything and how I had missed out on so much really and I just felt that I want to start doing all the things I had missed out on… Years ago when Summer took the year off to travel I thought that she was stupid but now I ask myself what was I saving myself for? I mean I am at the end of it all and I have nothing to tell of it besides books and assignments… I know I should have told you about my plans but I really didn’t want to bore everyone with my drama…” I stop and he looks bored with what I was saying. I sigh and know it was pointless trying to make him understand. “You think this is who you are Annabelle? This tight dress and red lips you think this is who are? Is this who you want to be?” He says and points at my person. “You know why I fell in love with you… Why I liked you so much…Because you were different and it didn’t bother you what anyone thought about you. I loved that about you. And just because you didn’t drink and partied or travelled the world doesn’t mean you missed out on anything you can’t still do…” Garett say and nod my head to him. “Precisely… That is why I want to start now… I’m sorry if me going to London upset you…” Garett’s eyes widen and I see the anger flare up inside him. “Upset me… Upsets me… You broke my heart Annabelle” He says and gets up from his seat and I sigh. “Garett please don’t go… Please let’s talk about this…” I say and he looks at me. “You have made your choice Annabelle… There is nothing I can do about it Barbie but be sorry for you. Enjoy the rest of your night and be careful” He says and looks at me up and down. I watch him walk away and sit with my head in my hands. I guess that was it. Our friendship was over and there was nothing I could do about it. I take a sip of my drink and sit there alone for a while and think about London and start readying myself for the new chapter in my life. I can’t expect of everyone I love to understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I need to just keep doing me. I finish my drink and make my way out of the seat and start walking towards the outside of the bar. The air was hot and I feel a surge racing through my body and then I start looking around me for a second for a face that I might know. I start walking to the last place I had seen my friends but I can’t find them there. I get another glass of cool drink and drink it quick before I make my way back to the next place we had been before, but I can’t find them. I’m getting extremely hot and go outside and stand in the street trying to cool down. What was going on with me? My cheeks were feeling hot and humid and my palms were becoming sweaty. I feel like my body is swelling in all the strangest places and my cheeks feel flustered and hot. I walk into one of the open take away shops and head to the toilet and take a look at myself in the mirror. I was hot and sweaty and my eyes were feeling heavy all of a sudden. My breathing gets heavy in my throat and I wonder what is going on with me. I splash my face with water and start walking towards the exit. My tongue starts feeling thick and my fingertips were tingling like pins and needles. I shake my hands trying to get the feeling back. I see Ethan and Nicole standing on the corner and yell out to them and they wave to me. I feel my energy returning to m
y body and I walk over to them. “Where the fuck were you… We’ve been looking all over for you” Nicole says and looks at me hard. I smiles and she narrows her eyes at me and looks at me hard. “I found Garett and tried talking to him, but he doesn’t want to hear anything. I can’t understand what is going on with him” I say as we start walking back to the bar. I shake my head and feel it aching a little. “Forget about Garett… He has always been a little OCD to me… You do what you have to do for you and enjoy your life. We’re not kids anymore for God sake” Nicole says and smiles at me. “God I’m so thirsty” I say as we walk inside. I head straight for the bar and rest my body against the counter and wait for the bar tender to come to my rescue. I feel like I was set on fire and some part for my body was alive from the heat. I take my hair away from my neck and throw it over my shoulder. I feel my dress pulling up a little and I try to pull it down. “This is the worst kind of torture you can put a man through” I feel his hands on my waist as he pushes his head to the back of my neck and whispers in my ear. I feel my body come alive and gasp for air. I feel his head against my hair and he takes me in. I can’t breathe and I’m burning up under his touch. I turn my head to him and he looks at me hard. I see his jaw twitch as he lowers his lips to me and kisses me softly. I kiss him back and he quickly puts he tongue in my mouth and tastes me. He turns me around and so that my back is against the bar and he leans in putting his hand on both sides of the bar holding me in place. As we continue to kiss and take each other in. Do I dare touch his face…? Do I dare…? I do. He moans as I touch him. But then I feel strange, my stomach starts turning and I can’t keep it in. I push him away quickly and run outside and as soon as I hit the pavement I puke all over myself. The bottom of my dress in covered in vomit and I feel my head spinning and I can’t stand on my feet. I feel myself falling. I hear a voice around me but nothing makes sense. Then my mind feels like it was about to burst my hands and legs are numb. What the fuck was happening?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ice Princess. Unobtainable. Bitch. Conceited. Control-freak. Witch. These are just some of the words you would hear out of people’s mouths when you mention the name Annabelle Spencer. It was a name that people steered clear of; a person no one really took the time to get to know, but everyone had something to say about. Annabelle Spencer was the name I had said over and over in my dreams. She was the one girl I had always dreamt of being with. So naturally when she never showed a shred of interest in me I had to move on, but I guess somewhere inside me her name still owned my heart. For years I would stand at the side lines and admire her, watch her as she would eat and laugh. I would marvel at her beauty and know that one day our time will come. I will be with her and she would love me. I know she never dated, I heard through the people that she was practically still a virgin. It was something I could never understand. She never partied because I would look for her at every party and I would sometimes be glad she wasn’t there, because I had a girlfriend and the chances that she would rather hook up with someone else rather than me made my skin crawl. Over time it got better and I got over it and I would only sometimes for a brief moment stare at her and take her in. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And now… When I finally get the chance to be with her she puts herself out of my reach… Literally across the world out of my reach. I sigh as I look at her profile picture and wonder when she took it. Her hair was tied up in bun but it looked perfect. Everything about her was perfect. Even her cheeky manner and sometimes rude behaviour was perfect. The woman could not do nothing wrong in my eyes until that day…