Chapter Seventeen
“I thought you would like your dress back” James says and hands me my cleanly washed dress and I look at him. Everything that Nicole had said to me in Summer’s room earlier were haunting me. She was right everything had started since James and I had started working together on this assignment and he did at some point make me feel weird about all the things he had told me about his crush on me. I know his heart was broken and maybe this was his way of dealing with things. I look at him and he looks relaxed and at ease.
“Thank you” I say and then I keep the door open so that he can come in. We get inside and he greets my parents and then I see my father taking him one side to talk to him privately. I look over at my mother who smiles at me and I wish the turning tummy would stop now. I walk outside and take a deep breath and shake my head and hands to ease the tension. “Are you okay?” I hear James talking behind me and I can’t help but jolt forward with freight. “Hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you…” He says and comes walking closer to me and pulls me into his arms. I feel strange and pull myself free. “Hey… What’s up?” He asks and frowns. I don’t know what to say to him and just decide to lie. “I’m just still a little shaken” I say and rub my arms and walk away from him. “I can only imagine what you are going through…” He says and comes walking towards me and I look for a place I can run too but there is nothing. I feel his hand on my shoulders and my whole body freezes. I try to still my accusing mind and try to find a reason why he would be doing this to me. Maybe he is trying to punish me for not showing interest in him all these years. Maybe I had been rude to him or maybe I had said something horrible to him in class. I remember his outburst in Harker’s class and the confrontation at Summer’s party. Maybe he was playing some twisted game to make feel fall in love with him. “Hey… do you want to go and get something to eat?” James asks and before the question could really sink I answer. “No” and he holds on tight to my shoulder and sighs. “Okay… We can then just stay here and watch a movie or something” I hear him say and I’m again too fast. “No” I say and he turns me around and looks at me hard. “Hey… Is everything okay? You’re really acting strange… And if I didn’t know better I would say that you were trying to avoid me” He says and raises his eyebrows at me and looks at me suspicious. “I’m just really tired and I am very upset about everything” I say and pushes pass him and walk back into the house. “Well you have me and I will keep you safe… There is no way this guy is going to get to you with me around” He says and lets out a little laugh. I turn and look at him. “What is going on?” He asks and takes my hands. “This is not going to work James” before I could think the words comes flying out of my mouth. I loosen my hand from his. He looks at me hard. “What… I don’t understand. I thought we had something… This morning?” he looks at me and I feel the shame heating up in my face. “I know but with everything that has happened and with what the police said… I’m just confused… I don’t know what came over me this morning… Maybe it was the drugs wearing off… I don’t know…” I say and he looks at me and I see something flashing in his eyes. “What… You think I’m involved with all of this? You really believe that what happened this morning was a mistake?” He says and looks at me hard and questioning. “I don’t know what to believe…” I say and walk into the kitchen and he grabs my arm and pulls me too him. “You don’t think that this is coincidental…I would never hurt Summer or anyone for that matter…I’m not an animal… And yes…I’ve always been crazy about you and I have admired you and yes I have wish that we would get together one day… and call me insane for being ecstatic because I’m finally with you… Then sure…But I’m not the type to do this kind of sick shit” He says and his eyes are wild with anger and hurt. “James it doesn’t really matter…I’m going to London and then…” I say and he interrupts me. “You know why I didn’t fuck you this morning because you’re going to London… And I know if I love you like that I was never going to be able to let you go… And I really just wanted to enjoy you before you left, make some lasting memories before I have to say goodbye to you forever. Yes we took it a little too far this morning and for that I’m not sorry. I love you Annabelle and I probably always will but this what you are doing right now… This is wrong…” He says and I feel my breath get caught in my throat. I put my hands to my lips to stop it from trembling. “Well… I’m sorry this didn’t work out. I’m sorry” I say after a long silence between us and then he turns around to leave. He walks to the door and then he turns and looks at me. “I love you Annabelle Spencer… I guess you will always be the one who got away” He says to me and then he disappears out the door. I feel my breath coming in hard and quick. The sadness rips at my heart and I can’t stop the sob from escaping me. I want to call him back tell me that I was sorry and that I didn’t mean anything I had said. I wanted to tell him that I loved what happened this morning and that I wanted him too. But I know it was too late. I hear my parents coming into the kitchen and they look at me and I just shake my head and let out a deep sigh again. My mother looks at me and smiles sympathetically. “I’m just gonna head up stairs and take a bath” I say and walk past them and I hear my father sigh hard.
Loving Annabelle Page 24