Loving Annabelle

by Priscilla Melinda Visser

  “I will never forget you too” She says and one tear rolls down her face. I don’t want her to cry not over me not over us. “Hey…”I say and pull her close to me again. I feel her sighing and then I sight too. This was by far the hardest thing to do next to burying my mother a few years back. My heart was broken and I don’t think that I will ever be able to put it back together without her in my life. “Well let me go and help inside” She says and gets up from my lap and I hold on to her hand for a bit and our eyes meet. “Hurry back” I say and she smiles at me again.

  *****

  I wanted him to take the position it would have been stupid of him to turn it down. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much. I don’t even know why I was upset since I was planning on leaving in the next couple of weeks too. I thought that I would have left long before he had but he was leaving soon. Too soon really. Sunday was five days away and I don’t know if I was ready to let him go just yet. I feel my stomach turning and I know that I was going to be sick. I run to the guest bathroom and throw up. I was upset and I feel the tears burning my eyes. It’s been a while since I had cried. I had not received any contact from the stalker since the writings on our wall and my parents were ready to believe that his guy had thrown in the towel and had given up. But something told me that I had not seen the last of him just yet. He was going to try one last time and I needed to stay focussed or I might fall right into whatever trap he had planned for me. I look at my face in the mirror and wonder if I would have acted the same way the day I had to leave and left him behind. Would it have hurt this much too? Maybe it was better that he left before I did. The sooner the better I suppose. I give myself one final look in the mirror and head out again. “Hey… Are you okay?” I see Summer coming out of her room and she looks at me worriedly. I try and smile convincingly but I know it was a poor attempt. “Yes… I’m just feeling a little queasy” I say and we start walking towards the kitchen again. “Are you sure?” She ask and I shake my head yes. “Well okay…I guess all this drama is to some extent overwhelming” She says and I roll my eyes. “You have no idea” I say and then she smiles at me. I stand in the patio door and look over to where James was sitting chatting to Peter and Ethan. I see Nicole standing next to my mother and I feel a little complete. My Aunt Adele and Summer comes walking pass me bringing the meat to the grill and the boys get up. I walk with them and go stand next to James who puts his arm around shoulders and pulls me under is arms. I slide my arm around his waist and sigh deeply. How was I ever going to say goodbye to him. “Hey… Is everything okay?” He asks and lifts my chin to him and I look into his eyes. I press my lips together into a tight smile and he bends down to kiss me. I feel like I was going to cry again but I keep my composer and he rubs over my shoulders. The rest of the afternoon was great. We laughed and cried and my father told some of his war stories and it felt like one of those last nights in a lifetime. You know the last time everyone will ever be together and it was really bitter sweet. I look over at my mother and remember how horrible our time was in the beginning and now she was my best friend. My father who I thought understood me became for a short while my worst enemy and then there was James… The first boy I had ever been in love with and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to love him. I know that he says he loves me but how can he be sure when he was still getting over his relationship with Chloe. I had to leave so that my judgment could not be clouded. I know that this wasn’t a good enough reason to just pack up and leave but I needed to get away. “Hey… You want to take drive to the beach?” I hear James talking in my ear as we start clearing everything up and I smile at him. “Sure… That would be nice” I say and I know this might be the last time we took a beach ride before he leaves. We clear everything up and then I say goodbye to everyone and I let my parents know that we are going out.

  “I love the beach” I say as I stand in his arms looking over the ocean and feel the soft damp breeze against my skin. He rests his chin on my head and I feel him smelling my hair. I get chicken skin all over then I turn to him and put my hands around his neck and look into his eyes. “How are we going to do this James…” I say and the tears burn my eyes again and I can’t stop them from rolling down my face. He lifts his finger and wipes my tears away. “I don’t know babe… I don’t know” He says and pulls me into his arms and we stand holding each other for what seemed like forever.

  “I will call you tomorrow…” he says as he releases me from his kiss. I look at him and nod my head.

  “And I will answer…” I say and he bends down to give me one more kiss and walks back to his car. I stand waiting for him to get in and open the gate so that he can leave. I stand and watch him drive off into the night. I loved him so much but our fate has been decided and there was no turning back now. Hopefully serendipity was on our side and we will one day find our way back to each other.

  ******

  It’s been two days since I had seen her and with everything going on and getting everything ready we had missed each other. I know she meant good but not seeing her was hard for me and it made me feel frustrated and edgy. I see my phone ringing and wish that this meeting would be over now so that I could go and see her. I look at the speaker and he looks at me annoyed and I smile politely. Finally it was over and I can’t be happier. It was hard coming to grips with the fact that in a few days I would have to say goodbye to her possibly forever. I take my coaches hand and he smiles at me. “You will have a wonderful career James. There is no way but up for you” He says and I knew that if she had to ask me to stay if she would stay I would tare this contract up without blinking an eye. I see the proud in his eyes and I feel guilty knowing that this was my escape and not my first love. I smile at him and we walk out of the building together. I hear my phone go off and I look down. It was text from her. Her phone had died and she was at the Res with Nicole cleaning out their rooms and she needs my help. I had promised Peter that we would go out for a celebratory drink and text him that I will see him later and that I was over at Res helping Belle. The last couple of days we had gotten closer and it was even said that Annabelle and I would be the Godparents to their little one. I smile to myself at how everything was working out. I knew that I only had to wait it out and keep her around and in my sight and when she does come back we will find each other again. I had waited this long I guess another couple of years wouldn’t hurt. I can’t wait to be with her and have her alone for just a few minutes or hours even. I smile naughty and feel my heart pounding hard in my chest at the possibility of getting close with her. I drive to my house and change my clothes before I head out to the Res. I drive up to the building but I don’t see her car outside and it seems weird but then I reckon that she might be here with another bigger vehicle in order to transport the stuff or she could be here with Nicole’s car. I walk inside and sign in my name before I head up to her room. I climb the stairs two at a time to get to her quicker. I walk down the hall and it’s fairly empty as most of the rooms had been cleared already. I see Nicole’s room is closed and frown. Strange. I walk to Belle’s room and see the door is ajar. Something didn’t feel right. I open the door and is met with a picture of pure heaven something right out of the Fifty Shades of Grey. The curtains were drawn and there was soft candle light lighting up the room. I see the bed is covered in rose petals and there is soft music playing in the back ground. I smile to myself and walk further inside. I hear the door close behind but before I could turn around…

  My head hurts behind my eyes and I hear a faint beeping sound in my ears. I try to open my eyes but they feel heavy and I feel something covering it. My hands and feet were tied and my mouth was taped shut. I’m lying down. My clothes were off and I could feel the cold air licking at my skin. “You know if you had only left her alone…You would not be here. She was mine until you came along” I hear a voice saying and then I feel something cool against my skin. I feel it tapping he cold straps against my stomach and then it whips hard into my skin. I
try to scream as the pain rips through by body but I can’t. I start shaking at my tied hands and feet but nothing. I try to register what was happening. “I loved her before anyone loved her and now she wants to leave me… I wanted her more than anyone and then she chooses you” The voice says and for some reason it sounds familiar but I can’t place where I had heard it before. My thoughts are quickly stopped as the next whip slaps me hard again. “You! Who do you think you are? Coming here and taking her from me… I should kill you you know; for being such an overbearing piece of shit… You don’t deserve her, you’re nothing but a pretty boy who uses women and then treats them like last nights left over pizza. I’ve watched you and saw how you tricked and manipulated her to fall for you… you and everyone just like you… You took them from me…” The voice is speaking and I can hear the hurt and pain in its words. I can’t understand why this person hated me so much well not just me but everyone like me, not that I know what me was. I feel its breath on my face and then it licks my cheek. This was one sick person and I feel hot and angry. “Romeo Romeo? Where far art thou Romeo?” The voice says in a Victoria accent and then it laughs. “Romeo will die!” It shouts and hits me again harder this time with more anger and resentment and I cringe in pain again. “Don’t worry Romeo Juliet will join us soon and then we will say our departures… And I will forever be with my Annabelle and you will never have her…Never” he says and I know that this wasn’t going end well. I feel panicked and pull at the rope and try to scream again. “Shhhh Romeo… Relax…” The voice says and I feel something prick into my skin and the cool sensation runs through my veins and before I know it I was out.

  *****

  I wonder how the meeting went, he had promised that we would see each other tonight and I was really growing impatient. I missed him but I had been busy too getting everything ready for my move to London. I was excited but also terribly sad. I couldn’t believe that this had happened to me. I found love and now I had to let it go and it was all my own doing. I shake my head and try to still my taunting mind and take a deep breath. I look at my phone and still hadn’t heard anything from him. I still my worrying heart that it was still early and that these types of meetings take time. This was of course his future and the decisions were serious and to some extent permanent. His life in a foreign country without me and I was going to a foreign country without him. I stand looking into the distance as take a sip of my coffee and look at my parents. “Is everything okay…? You have been very quiet?” My mother asks and her words bring me back to reality. “I was just thinking about James and his meeting… I hope everything went well… It should be done soon” I say and glance back at my phone and see the notification light flashing. I pick it up and see it’s a text from Nicole. She said she was going to clear out her room at Res later today and wanted to know if I would join her too. I had totally forgotten about it and quickly type back my reply. “I’m heading out to Res later… I completely forgot that I needed to go and clear out my room before the weekend.” I say and I see my father looking at me hard. “Nicole is going also so I’m not going to be alone and I will ask James to help” I say and feel his stare soften. “You know all I want is for you to be safe right?” I see my father leaning in and I nod.

  “I know dad but I should be okay. We haven’t had any incidents in a while and with James there it should be okay and we will hurry” I say and feel my stomach turning at being in that building alone. “I know, but that guy is still out there and we need to be extra careful” he says and I press my lips together into a tight smile as my mother places the plate of food down in front of me. “It’s quite sad that you are not going to be here for graduation… I was so looking forward to throwing you a nice party in celebration of your achievements… We are so proud of you Annabelle” She says and takes my hand and presses it lightly. I see her smiling brightly and decide to not rain on her parade. I let her enjoy her moment. “You’re mother is right…We are so proud of you honey… You had a very tough year behind you and still you managed to pull through and be top of your class.” My father says and I see the proud in his eyes again. It makes me feel good that they were so happy.

  “Thank you guys… You have no idea how much that means to me… Just to know that after all these years you guys finally decided that I was enough just as I am.” I say and look down at my plate trying to suppress the sadness as it welled up inside me again. “We never thought that you weren’t” My mother says and I look at her trying to understand whether she was a liar or just a mother in denial. Yes our relationship was much better but they were part of the reason why I had decided to leave and start a new life somewhere else. I thought they understood that this was who I am and that nothing will change me. I wasn’t a person for friends or parties or anything that was harmful to my body heart and soul… Well that was before I met James and my stalker. Before that I believed that I was invisible because everyone was invisible to me… Well everyone besides the people who I loved and who had loved me… I sigh and look at them again with sadness in my eyes. They believe that because I found love I had become normal, but I never planned on finding love or loving someone… I just didn’t think that it would be this soon. I thought that I was going to experience life and live a little before I tackled the love bug but I guess destiny had a different plan for me. “I know mom…I know..” I say and she smiles at me and we eat our lunch in silence. I know saying what I had had opened up old wounds that should have stayed closed, but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t ready to let go of everything yet.

  I stand in the mirror looking at myself and comb my hair into a bun. I had sent James a message that I will be at the Res and that he should come a get me there. He had not replied yet and I wonder what could be keeping him. I walk downstairs and I see my parents sitting in each other’s arms watching some nature show on TV. I smile thinking about their love story and how I had believed that one day I would find a love like that and right now I wasn’t even sure if I was entitled to it. I know that I love James, but I wasn’t sure if it was their kind of love. I had never loved anyone before so how could I be sure. I walk to them and they turn to look at me. “Well I’m heading out… James is picking me up so I guess I will see you guys a little later then” I say and bend down and kiss them both on the forehead. I look up at the clock it was after four and I know that I was late and that I would only have a few hours to get everything done and then I would have to go back tomorrow and tomorrow I had plans with James. We planned to take a road trip and see all the places around the Cape together before the both of us left the beauty behind. It saddens me a little but I suck it up and walk out of the house. I see the sun is still high and look at my phone again. I wonder if I should text Nicole and tell her that I will be there soon… I doubt if she was going to hear me, I bet Ethan was over there helping her and knowing the two of them I doubt there was much packing going on but I send the message anyway. I get into my car and decide to dial James number, I had not heard from him at all today and I my stomach was feeling anxious. It goes to voicemail and I hate that he hadn’t gotten a new phone yet and roll my eyes. Tomorrow we will get him a new phone I wasn’t about to let him go all the way around the world and not be able to get hold of him. Oh Gosh! I had just made up my mind that a long distance relationship could be on the cards for us. No Belle… Long distance doesn’t work I scold myself and shake my head. I pull into the parking lot in front of Res and see James’s car parked in front. He was here already? Strange that he had not let me know. I look around to see if I can see Nicole or Ethan’s vehicle but here was nothing. I feel a chill run down my spine and walk to the entrance. The halls were cold and quiet. Most of the students had cleared out there rooms already and had left. Here and there I saw movement but minimal. I walk up the stair and see our floor is empty and completely quiet. My heart starts pounding and I look around to see if there was anyone else around. I see someone coming out of one of the rooms and I sigh. It was Natasha; she was carrying a box and c
ame pass me smiling. I smile back and start walking to my room and see that Nicole’s room door is closed. I frown and walk closer. I turn the knob and the door opens widely. The room was empty. She had cleared out her room already. There was nothing there and I feel strange. Why would she ask me to meet her here when she had done it already? I turn around and look at my room’s door. I walk closer and place my hand on the knob and my heart is pounding hard in my ears. I wonder where James was, I know his car is outside so he had to be close by. Maybe he was helping Nicole put the last of her things in her car. I turn the knob and feel the door was locked. I feel stupid and reach into my bag for my key and unlock the door and push it open. The sight in front of me was the same as the one in my dream… But there was someone on my bed. Someone was tied to the bed and there was a red bed linen over the person.