Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1)

by Dannielle Wicks

  Ashlee stops in front of me. “You should have told me. My parents own a deli here in town. I’m supposed to start helping out on weekends. Come with me on Saturday.”

  Kai

  I decide to take my human hour on Friday night to finish my Engineering assignment that Sam helped me start. They’re both going out again anyway. Being home alone doing nothing is depressing.

  I wait at the front door for them to leave. Ashlee bounces down the stairs with Sam following close behind. A horn outside signals their ride and Sam runs her fingers across my head as she leaves, shutting the door behind them.

  The inside of the house is quite warm so I don’t bother with my shirt, just the pants. It’s not like there’s anyone here to chastise me anyway. I take the notebook I’ve been working in down to the sofa and switch on the TV for background noise. I sit there for a while, trying to put pen to paper, but everything I write is clouded with thoughts of Sam.

  Sammy

  Riley holds my hand as we wait in line at the club Ashlee took me to. I’m basically jittery with excitement. The doorman stamps our hands, and then we enter the pulsing club.

  Ashlee and I leave the guys at the bar and start looking for a seat. They meet us at a small table and place our soft drinks in front of us. Ashlee grabs hers and takes a long gulp. The cool Coke feels amazing sliding down my dry throat. Riley smiles at me from across the table as he sips from his glass.

  Ashlee and Mark finish their drinks and head out to the dance floor, twisting around each other in moves I couldn’t possibly hope to copy.

  “Want to dance?” Riley yells into my ear over the loud music. His breath tickles my neck and I shiver. Not waiting for an answer, he snatches my hand and tugs me out into the surging crowd.

  Pressing his body close to mine, we start dancing in circles. Halfway through, Riley leans down and brushes soft kisses along my jaw. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. I move closer to him and tilt my face up. He takes the hint and presses his lips against mine, they are so soft. I can’t breathe for a second. His mouth moves against mine and I return the kiss. The lights and sounds fade for a moment, leaving only us, then abruptly everything comes crashing back in as Riley pulls away.

  We hold hands on the drive home and both the guys come inside with us after we pull into the driveway. “Did you leave the TV on?” Ashlee asks, walking over to the sofa and reaching for the remote. I frown and let go of Riley’s hand.

  Damn it, Kai. “Yeah, I think it was me.”

  ***

  It’s nearly ten in the morning before Ashlee emerges from her room. She’s taking me to work with her today, so I’m already dressed and fed, waiting for her in the kitchen. I wonder briefly if she’s noticed that Kai eats breakfast cereal in the mornings with me.

  Ashlee and I arrive at the deli half an hour later and she proceeds to show me around. Just as she’s showing me the freezer room, Dylan Lanter, from high school, rounds the corner holding a handful of plates. He pauses when he sees us.

  “Hey Ashlee,” he greets her, briefly glancing at me.

  “Dylan,” Ashlee responds in a flirty voice. “Sam will be starting work here with us on Saturdays.” Dylan nods with a smirk then continues with whatever he was doing.

  Once we’re out of earshot, I glare at Ashlee. “You didn’t tell me he works here.”

  “Oh don’t worry about it, Sammy, he won’t say anything mean. He’s not like that.” I narrow my eyes at her but keep my mouth shut as she continues. “Guys only act like idiots because they want you. You’re a pretty girl, Sam.” Ashlee turns and leaves me with my mouth hanging half open in surprise.

  I find Kai stretched out across my bed when we arrive home. “Your stupid friends just keep popping up everywhere.” He tilts his head at me.

  “Dylan works at the deli I’ve just started working for.” Kai snorts at me and leaves the room. I get changed into my comfy flannel pants and a t-shirt, snuggling up on my bed with my laptop to work on my graphics homework and type up Kai’s engineering assignment he left out for me, so I can send it through to his teacher.

  ***

  On Friday just before our Econ lecture ends, I turn in my seat to face Riley. “Are you guys coming to the party tonight?”

  He smiles down at me. “Of course.” The class ends and Riley grabs his bag. “See you tonight, Sammy.”

  Ashlee forces her way into my room just as I’m about to get dressed for the party.

  “Here, wear this.” She throws a blue dress at me and leaves. Um, okay. I slip the silky strapless dress on and look at myself in the mirror. It’s a snug fit, but it looks amazing. I head down to the kitchen just as partygoers start to arrive.

  Kai

  The loud music downstairs hurts my ears, and hiding under Sam’s bed isn’t helping. I trot into the bathroom and let the change take over. The crippling pain pushes me to the floor and I cry out. As soon as I open my eyes again I slip on my clothes, including my shoes and my hoodie.

  If I keep the hood up, hopefully no one will recognize me. I catch my reflection in Sam’s mirror as I pass, and pause. Pulling down the collar of my hoodie, I trace my fingers along the pink scars on my neck, sighing.

  Most of the party is in the backyard, so I slip down the stairs and head for the deck, snagging a drink from the kitchen on my way. I take a sip as I sit down on a deck chair in the far corner. It tastes like a million different types of alcohol that shouldn’t be mixed, and straight away it’s giving me a nice buzz.

  I gaze out into the yard and find Ashlee and Mark laughing and talking to a group of people. Sammy is standing quietly beside them, just listening to the conversation. “Hi.” The idiot pulls up a chair and sits down beside me. “I’m Riley.” Is this guy serious?

  I glance toward him, keeping my face in the shadows. “I know who you are.”

  He looks confused. “I’m sorry, have we met?”

  Crap. “No, I’m a friend of Sammy’s.”

  His face brightens. I feel like smacking him.

  “Oh, nice to meet you then, I’m Sammy’s boyfriend.” He pauses. “Has anyone ever told you, you have freaky eyes?”

  He sloshes his drink toward me and I ignore him. He frowns and looks out over the backyard before focusing back on me. “She’s a pretty nice girl. Little naïve, though. You got a girl?”

  I lift my lip in a resemblance of a snarl. “No, I don’t.” He needs to leave me alone before I get violent. I have no tolerance for this…boy.

  “So, what’s her name?”

  Okay, now I’m confused. I scowl. “Who’s name?”

  “The girl you’re in love with. She’s obviously messed you up.” I turn fully to face him and stare open mouthed, and then I get up and walk back into the house without a word. In love…I don’t think so. That part of me died when my body couldn’t become human for more than an hour.

  “Wait! I didn’t get your name,” Riley calls out after me.

  CHAPTER 18

  Sammy

  “Sammy, this is Kiera and Chloe. They’re in my anatomy class at the university.”

  “Nice to meet you.” I nod at the extremely drunk girls leaning on each other. It’s starting to get late, or should I say early, and a lot of people have left. The ones that are still here are completely wasted. I spot Riley over on the deck and walk over to him. He’s hardly come near me all night.

  “Sssammmyy,” he slurs as I get closer. Okay, so he’s one of the drunken ones. He tilts dangerously on his chair and leans forward as if he’s about to pass out.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” I suggest, reaching under his arms and helping him walk inside. Once we make it up the stairs and into my room, I help him onto the bed. Kai is curled up in the far corner, growling low in his throat. “Would you please stop that?” I snap at him, trying to help Riley out of his shoes so he can lie down. Kai stops abruptly and turns away from us.

  Riley suddenly grabs the back of my neck roughly and smashes his mouth against mine, pulling me down on top
of him on the bed. I forget myself for a moment and let him kiss and touch me, until I remember he’s completely wasted.

  “Riley, stop.” I gently push him away. He grunts a response then closes his eyes, passing out. I sit up and glance over at Kai. His silver eyes peek over at me before turning away again.

  ***

  I wake to an aching back and a splitting headache. I didn’t drink last night, how do I have a hangover? Rolling over, I realize I’m lying on the cold hard floor beside my bed. Oh, that’s right.

  Riley is snoring on my bed. I twist my head to find Kai awake and staring at me.

  “What?” I ask, sitting up slowly. He shakes his head and gets up to leave the room. “Wait, Kai,” I whisper, he stops at the door and looks back at me. “I’m sorry for snapping at you last night.” He turns back to trot down the stairs. I sigh heavily and heave myself off the floor.

  Riley’s honey colored hair is spread out around his head on my pillow. I smile to myself and decide to go and start breakfast for all the hungover people still hanging around the house. Something greasy. I grab a huge bag of bacon out the freezer and start defrosting it.

  “Oh god, turn that noise off,” Ashlee tip-toes up behind me and whispers. I open the microwave door to stop the dinging. Ashlee leans on me. “Let’s never have a party again.” I chuckle, helping her to a seat at the dining table and handing her a glass of water with two aspirin.

  Around midday all the party stragglers have eaten some of my greasy bacon and eggs and made their way home. Riley emerges from my room just as I’m washing dishes.

  “Hey beautiful.” He walks up behind me and wraps me in a hug.

  “Hi yourself.” I giggle. Riley’s breath tickles my throat. I twist in his arms to face him. He kisses me soundly on the lips and takes a step back.

  “I have to go, see you in class tomorrow?” he asks. His green eyes sparkle in the light coming from the kitchen window. I try to hide my disappointment and smile at him.

  “Sure, see you then.” He leans in and kisses me again before turning and walking out to the front door to his car.

  ***

  “Will you come over to my place this weekend?” Riley asks from behind me. I’m trying to keep my attention on Professor Zedic, but I’m failing miserably. Giving up, I smile and spin in my seat.

  “Okay, but I have work on Saturday.”

  “I’ll cook you dinner on Friday night then?”

  “You cook?” He nods with a grin. “Then yes,” I answer. He lifts his pen and continues writing notes down in the book in front of him.

  After class I stroll over to the community college. Professor Mosley is just locking his door as I approach.

  “Professor Mosley, wait,” I call after him as he turns to leave.

  “Oh, Miss Stevens. Nice to see you again.” He adjusts his shoulder bag and pulls out some paper. “The assignment that your brother turned was very well done.” He hands me the papers. “Here are his results and the notes from the last few classes, I’ve emailed them, but just in case you see him anytime soon, I printed out a copy.” He smiles at me and spins around to walk away. I beam down at the paper in my hands. Kai got a top score, just wait until I tell him.

  ***

  Riley texts me his address on Friday afternoon. I nearly crash my car in nervousness on my way over. I’ve never done this kind of thing before. He opens his door and waits for me as I pull into his driveway.

  “Hi,” he greets me as I walk up the path to him. “Dinner is nearly ready. Come inside.” He places his hand on the small of my back and guides me into the dining room. Mark passes us and grabs keys from the entry way table.

  “Hey Sammy.” He smiles. “Is Ashlee home?” I nod with an encouraging grin. The door closes with a snick behind him. Riley pulls out a chair for me and helps me sit. The table is set with two burning candles and a beautiful red table cloth. Riley heads into the kitchen and comes back out with a large pot, which he places in the center of the small table.

  “Wow, Riley, this looks amazing,” I declare as he scoops thick, chunky soup into my bowl. Raising my eyebrows in apprehension, I put a spoonful in my mouth. The chunks of pork melt in my mouth around the white sauce. It tastes so good that I moan. Riley chuckles beside me and starts spooning his own share into his mouth.

  When I’m nearly bursting at the seams, full of pork stew, we retire to his living room. Riley puts a disc into the DVD player and settles onto the sofa beside me. I don’t remember the beginning of the movie, because as soon as the beginning credits start Riley is leaning over me with his mouth pressed firmly on mine. His hands start getting grabby and roam my body, making me uncomfortable. I push on his shoulder to stop him.

  He sits back and frowns in confusion.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize, reaching for his hand. “I’m not really comfortable with that sort of stuff yet.” He nods and settles back into the cushions with his arm around my shoulders.

  Before long, the end credits roll across the screen and I stretch. Riley walks me out to my car and places a chaste kiss on my forehead. I smile and wave as I pull out of the driveway.

  Kai

  If memory serves me correctly—which it might not, because I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind—today is my birthday. The day I turn nineteen and no one knows, or even cares, for that matter. To be fair, it’s not like I can remind them, or tell Sam.

  All the lights in the house are off and I’m lying in the kitchen staring out the window at the stars barely visible through the trees. Ashlee is upstairs with Mark again. I’m trying to tune out so I can’t hear the giggling and other noises they’re making.

  The front door creaks open and I stand up to investigate. Sam tip-toes in the door and freezes when she sees me watching from the kitchen. Her mouth moves, she’s speaking. I tilt my head and focus on what she’s saying.

  “Kai? Did you hear me? Where are they?” she whispers, the door closing quietly behind her. I tip my head up toward the stairs and snort under my breath. She smiles. “Okay, I’m heading up to my room. Coming?” she asks in a louder voice, climbing up the stairs.

  I sigh and follow her slowly. She’s already closed herself in the bathroom to get changed by the time I curl up on her bedroom floor. She comes out and quickly jumps into her bed, glancing over at me to say goodnight. The moonlight shines on her bed, and before long her breathing slows in sleep.

  Happy birthday to me.

  Sammy

  Ashlee and I drive to work the next morning in her red sports car. I quickly get the hang of waitressing; it’s so close to what I was doing at the coffee shop, only difference is there are full meals to be served instead of just coffee and cakes.

  Dylan frowns at me every time I walk close to him. Geez, what did I ever do to him? There’s another girl working with us now as well; Chloe from the party last week. She seems to enjoy reminding me of the fact that she and Dylan are apparently an item…like I care. By the end of my shift, I’ve been cracked on the elbow with serving trays or chairs, sneered at, and frowned at. I exhale a sigh of relief as I slide into Ashlee’s car.

  Kai is in the backyard when we get home. Ashlee heads into the kitchen to pour us both a glass of Coke while I go outside to check on him. I get close to him and he turns to me. He looks feral, just like the night I found him bleeding out on the deck. His pupils are so small I nearly can’t see them. I scowl, cautiously taking a step closer. He growls low in his throat and lowers his head, ears pinned back to his neck. He’s starting to scare me.

  “Kai, snap out of it,” I whisper-shout at him. He shakes his head and his pupils dilate, returning to normal. I kneel in front of him and touch his soft cheek. “What’s happening to you?” He holds my gaze a moment longer then dismisses my concern by walking past me and into the house.

  “Sammy!” Ashlee calls from the deck. I stroll over to her, take the glass she offers me, and have a sip.

  “Has this got something in it?” I eye her curiously.

&nbs
p; She smiles. “Yes, you’re at home. It’s fine. I’m going over to Mark’s place tonight. Do you want me to send Riley over if he’s there?” I glance at Kai, standing in the doorway watching us.

  “No, I have a few assignments I need to get finished.” I take another sip of my drink and follow Ashlee back inside. She leaves half an hour later with an overnight bag. I relax into the sofa cushions with a bag of chips and my Coke, and switch the TV on. There’s a new show starting tonight, and I really want to catch it, the ads have me intrigued.

  “You really like this crap, don’t you?” Kai asks from behind the sofa. I move my legs so he can sit down.

  “Yes, I do,” I answer, passing him the bag of chips. I take another sip of my drink; my head feels a little fuzzy.

  Kai glances over at me and narrows his eyes. “What are you drinking?”

  I purse my lips. “Nothing.” He frowns and reaches for the glass. I gulp down the last of it before he snatches it out of my hands. I know I’m acting like I child, but I can’t stop myself. He sniffs the glass and places it on the table.

  “Ashlee should know better. Since when did you start drinking?” He pauses and looks back at me. I sit up and teeter awkwardly toward him, a little dizzy. He catches my shoulders before I end up in his lap. “All right, I think it’s time for bed.”

  I’m suddenly lifted into Kai’s arms and he’s carrying me up the stairs. I press closer to his chest and breathe in his smell. He sighs and lays me gently on the bed, taking off my glasses and placing them on the nightstand. I reach up to grab a hold of his shirt to drag him down with me, but he tugs my fingers out of his shirt and throws the covers over me. I cuddle up to my blanket and Kai sits down on the edge of the bed facing me.