Strain of Vengeance (Bixby Series Book 3)

by Michelle Bryan

  “I know, kid. Me too.” Sam leans over and pulls me against his chest as sobs rack my whole body. Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me, murmuring platitudes against the top of my head as my grief flows out. We stay that way for a while, his heat keeping me warm against the frigid air, even as the tears leave an icy trail down my cheeks.

  Finally, my cries taper off to an occasional hiccup. We sit in silence for a moment, his arm still around me, letting the quiet calm me down.

  “Do you think the docs can help us with this…” My voice is raspy as I search for the right word. “Shit storm?”

  I feel him shrug against the cheek pressed into his chest. “There’s so many pieces of crap floating around I’m not sure which shit storm you’re referring to. You talking about Amy’s connection to the QL’s? Is it my foray into the mind of the major villain of this story? The worry about what happened to the others that were brought here with me? Or the fact that we have a target on our backs and will most likely get torn limb from limb five minutes after we leave this farm? You’ll have to be more specific.”

  I slap my hand against his chest in a feeble attempt to shut him up. “You know, if you came here to talk me into feeling better, you’re not helping.”

  His sigh tickles against the top of my head. “I know. I never was good at this touchy-feely stuff. With Ames, all I had to do was play that stupid dragon movie she loved so much to cheer her up. Can’t even remember what it’s called.”

  “DragonHeart,” I mumble into his jacket.

  “Yeah, that’s it. Lord, I must have seen that a thousand times. Worked like a charm, though. Every time.”

  If only it were that simple, watch a movie to take away our pain.

  “Were you telling the truth when you said the link controlling you was severed? Or did you just say that to shut Dom up?”

  “If I’d just wanted to shut that dick up, I woulda popped him a knuckle sandwich.” He chuckles quietly at his own words. “No, I was telling the truth. Something happened in the subway. I knew those queen leeches were there. I could hear their buzzing in my head. I could feel their excitement at finding fresh prey.” I shudder at his choice of words, but he continues, “I felt its hatred for you as it held you by the neck. It would have killed you, Bix. No doubt. I couldn’t stand by and let that happen. Not again. Even as they were screaming in my head, another part of me was able to ignore them enough to get to the gun. To take them down before they could hurt any of you. The minute they died I felt the most excruciating pain… I thought my head was going to explode. Literally. It felt like I was dying, too, like my mind was being ripped apart by a thousand tiny blades. I guess the pain was too much since I blacked out. When I came to, I knew it was different. I felt different. Clearer. More myself.”

  I tilt my head, so I can look up at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Maybe because Dom was pointing a fucking rifle at me like he wanted nothing more than to blow me apart while you were standing over me like some warrior princess? Not quite the right time. Then Amy stepped in with her declaration and, well, things kind of got off track. It wasn’t the right time to say anything.”

  Yeah, I get that. Never seems to be the right time for anything anymore.

  “Do you think you’re totally free from their control?”

  He tenses under my touch, and I know I’m not going to like his answer. “No. I lied to Dom about that.”

  As much as that confession spooks me, I can’t begrudge him the lie. Dom and some of the others were ready to throw him out of the truck.

  “I can resist them, but the connection is still very real. My hallucinations of the big bad proves that. We’re still connected on some level.”

  “When did the images start?”

  “Right after the subway. Just when I was beginning to believe I’d ripped them out of my head, those started. I didn’t want to believe it at first. I was hoping it was just my fried brain messing with me. But the images are real. It’s all real. That death squad back there proved it.”

  “Luke needs to know. You have to tell him what you just told me.”

  “I know. And I will at the research lab. I just need to know first why Amy is involved. I can handle those bastards being in my head, but I don’t want her having any damn connection to them. Why does she hear words when we don’t? It doesn’t make a bit of sense.”

  None of this makes any fucking sense, but I don’t say that. I don’t even want to think about it. I don’t want to deal with what tomorrow may bring. I don’t want to face any more suspicion about Sam. I don’t want to worry about Amy. I don’t want to grieve for any more of our people. I’m drained and exhausted. I just want to close my eyes and sleep.

  “I don’t want to bunk with everyone tonight. I can’t face them. Any of them. I just want to be alone… with you. Just as friends,” I add the last part quickly. I don’t want him to misconstrue what I said, but Sam truly is my oldest friend. He’s been with me since the beginning. Tonight, I need that friend.

  Sam nods. He understands. He always did. “Yeah, I get that. Stay here. Give me a few minutes to make sure Ames is settled for the night. I’ll grab us a couple of sleeping bags and we’ll find an obscure corner to sulk in together.”

  He releases me and stands up. I reach out for his hand before he moves away. He looks down at me.

  “Thank you, Sam.”

  “For what?”

  “For understanding and being here for me.”

  He squeezes my fingers tight. “Always, Red.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  The morning sun breaks weak and watery through the gray cloud cover as I make my way to the mess hall. I understand its struggle. Like it knows it needs to shine today but doesn’t have the get up and go to put in the effort. Exactly how I feel.

  Sam was true to his word. He managed to steal us a couple of sleeping bags last night, and we found an unused barn to squat in. The barn was filled with broken pottery and iron bits and a drying kiln, obviously used to make shit for the farm. It had kept us nice and toasty warm as we talked away most of the night, about old times and good memories. Sam helped me lay Liv and Coop at rest, and by the time I finally did fall asleep my grief was manageable. I didn’t feel like I was about to fall off a cliff into oblivion. Not as much anyway.

  I hurry my pace. Sam was gone when I awoke this morning. I know why he left me sleeping. He figured I needed the rest. But I woke up in a panic. I knew Luke would want to head out early, and I wanted a chance to say my goodbyes to Amy and Jess and the others. With the way our luck was going lately, this is probably the last time I’d see any of them ever again. Yeah, I’m just a ray of hope and sunshine this morning.

  I’m shit out of luck as usual. My crew already waits outside the mess hall, backpacks on and guns slung over their shoulders. Even Polly and Lewis are there and ready to go. I guess they’re driving us. Kip must have had a generous moment. Either that or she didn’t want us dying right outside the farm’s gate.

  Man, I’m really late. They hadn’t even waited for me for breakfast. Looks like I’m hitting the road with an empty stomach and morning breath. I hope if I beg hard enough with my stinky breath, Luke will at least give me a chance to say my goodbyes.

  Ignoring the array of looks from the rest of the crew, my worried glance falls on Luke. He seems oblivious to my arrival, deep in conversation with Polly and Lewis, so I sneak by him and head straight toward Gordo. If I can get answers from anyone, it’ll be him. I’m surprised to find Evie at his side, outfitted with a backpack just like the rest and Scruff sitting patiently at her feet.

  “Nice of you to join us, Bix.” Gordon smirks at me.

  “Was he going to leave without me?” I jerk my thumb Luke’s way.

  The kid’s glance bounces back and forth between me and Luke. “I don’t think so. He hasn’t even mentioned you, but I think that’s your backpack and weapon leaning against the wall beside him. We’re still waiting on Sam, anyways.”


  I finally do a headcount. He’s right. Sam isn’t here.

  “Here, since you missed breakfast, I got you this.” Gordo pulls a couple of bread buns from his pocket, and I almost cry out in gratitude. God, I love this kid. I grab them out of his hands. They’re still warm, and I take a huge bite. My gaze slides over to Evie, and I spit out crumbs as I say, “You sure about this? Don’t know if bozo here has told you, but this could be a one-way ticket.”

  She nods, although my words make her already pasty skin noticeably paler.

  “Yeah, I thought about it all night. I know it’s dangerous, but I want to be where this fool is.” She tilts her head toward a grinning Gordo. “I don’t want to be left behind worrying myself to death about any of you. Plus, you guys need Scruff for leech detection, and I don’t want to let him go without me either.”

  “Your choice,” is all I say, but the Scruff point is valid. With Sam only able to detect the hybrids, we need a decent leech detector. I look around for the object of my thoughts. “Where is Sam, by the way?”

  Gordo lifts his chin, pointing over my shoulder, and I turn to watch Sam approach. Only he isn’t alone. Amy walks beside him, her hand in his. She flashes a tiny smile at me as she gets closer, the bruises under her eyes a testament to the trauma of what she and the rest of us had gone through yesterday. But why would Sam bring her to see us off? That will only cause her more stress and anxiety.

  Then I notice her backpack, and my eyes narrow in disbelief.

  “Hey, Bix,” Amy chimes at me.

  “Hey, Ames,” I reply, but my gaze is on Sam. “Why you wearing a backpack?”

  “’Cause I’m going, too.” She sounds so happy to be included. “Sammy said I didn’t have to stay behind this time.”

  I grit my teeth in a pretend smile. “Well isn’t that just peachy-keen. Tell you what, why don’t you get in line with Evie and Scruff, so you can sit beside them on the truck? I want to talk to Sam.”

  “Okay.” She beams, hurrying to Scruff and falling on her knees to give him a hug.

  I grab Sam’s arm and pinch tight. He walks with me, muttering “ow” under his breath. I make sure we’re out of earshot before I turn on him.

  “What the fuck?” I say, and he holds his hands up in submission.

  “It was Luke’s idea. He approached me with it earlier, but before you get wound up and go off on him, I want you to know I totally agree.”

  “What?” I shake my head, thinking I heard him wrong. “You agreed to let your little sister tag along on a mission that will probably get us all killed? Have you lost your fucking mind?”

  “Is there a problem here?” Luke’s question at my back has me turning my wrath on him.

  “She’s not going. What the hell are you thinking?”

  He ignores the fury I hurl at him. Instead, he starts patting the pockets of his jacket like he’s forgetting something. He glances over at Sam. “Hey, McKinley. Have you seen my, ‘Your guys’ opinion means sweet fuck all’ sticker? I seem to have misplaced it.”

  “Christ. Not helping, man,” Sam sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

  “Wasn’t meant too,” Luke answers as he glares at me. “Just meant to show it’s not all about you two. The rest of us decided on this last night.”

  “Last night?” I echo. “I wasn’t around last night. Care to share?”

  “Exactly.” Luke glances back and forth between me and Sam. “Neither of you were around when we debated as a crew what the next step entailed. You bailed on us. All night. So, the rest of us decided without you.”

  A vein throbs at his temple. His I’m-so-pissed vein. Shit. That’s the main cause behind his thinly veiled anger. He thinks Sam and I spent the night together. Damn. I clearly wasn’t considering what the others would think if Sam and I disappeared for the night. As usual, I couldn’t see past my own grief and misery. Still, that has nothing to do with Amy.

  “Decided what?” I growl. “To endanger the life of a helpless girl?”

  “If you would get your head out of your ass for a minute, you’d understand. Amy has a connection to the leeches. She hears their communications. The implication behind that is huge. We need to know how she does that. It may very well be the key to finding the super mind and defeating these bastards once and for all. The docs need to see Amy. She goes with us.”

  “He’s right, Bix. We don’t have a choice.”

  I don’t know what destroys me the most—knowing Amy will be on this crazy mission with us, or Sam’s agreeing to her being used as a test subject.

  A dull ache starts in the middle of my forehead, and I rub it with the heel of my hand. As much as I hate to admit it, they’re right. Amy may be our ace in the hole. That knowledge doesn’t stop the anger I feel at this whole situation. I cage the angry words on the tip of my tongue.

  “Fine. I guess the decision has already been made.”

  “It has. Your pack is over there. Sorry you got the shit of the pick since you weren’t around to pack your own bag—”

  “Okay, Luke! I get it. You’re pissed ‘cause Sam and I bailed last night. That’s no reason for you to be acting like a giant dildo.”

  He raises a brow. “Pissed because you two bailed? I couldn’t care less what you two did last night. I’m pissed because you charged back here this morning and questioned my decision without caring enough to weigh in on said decision. That’s what I’m pissed about. I’ll reiterate in case you’ve already forgotten, this isn’t all about you, Bixby. Understood?”

  A sharp pain rips through my chest, and I struggle to keep the hurt off my face. What little ground I thought I gained with Luke is gone out the window. Again. Fuck, I’m so tired of this merry- go-round with him.

  “You’re right.” I swallow my hurt. “I have no right to question your decision. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

  “No, it doesn’t. Unfortunately, most of the choices we need to make in this shit world now aren’t the most likeable. But someone has to make the call.”

  Luke’s anger slips for a moment, and I see the naked fear that must have his insides quivering like jelly. His words of him not being a leader come back to haunt me. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to be in control and deciding the next move. He doesn’t want to be responsible for any more deaths. But he doesn’t have a choice. And being the bitch that I am, I’m not making it any easier. He needs my support, not my challenging his every choice. I swallow my bitterness and huff out a breath.

  “Okay then. We do what we gotta do. What’s the plan?”

  He reins in his surprise at my 180, relaxing his shoulders.

  “The plan is for Polly and Lewis to get us to the research facility. Kip has agreed for them to take us all the way since she already spoke to the docs, and they assured her they have the right equipment on hand for her people to charge the truck’s batteries and bring it safely back home. As long as we stay inside the truck and away from any leech encounters, we should be okay. If they don’t see us, they won’t be able to spread the message where to find us, and they don’t come after us. Simple enough. And one of the reasons I’m agreeing to Amy going as well.”

  He shoots me a look that clearly says I would know this if I bothered to come back last night. I ignore him as a wave of relief washes over me. Great. A ride straight through to the docs. No having to play a fucking huge game of hide-and-seek with the leeches with Amy in tow. My relief chases away my anger.

  “A ride all the way? Man, this will be the easiest mission yet.” I smile over at Amy as she falls on her behind from Scruff’s attention, squealing with laughter. “Easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy.”

  “What do you mean the battery’s dead?” I squeak in disbelief. The whole crew stands outside the truck that had lost all power earlier and slowly coasted to a stop on the side of the road. While Robyn and Mike immediately take watch on either end of the truck, the rest of us stare at Lewis in shock as he pulls his head out from under the raised hood.
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  “Just what I said. It’s dead.”

  “Fuck.” Badger kicks at the massive tire, like somehow that will magically solve the problem.

  I shake my head, refusing to believe what I’m hearing. “Well, fix it.”

  Lewis’s eyes narrow in his typical, stick-up-the-butt pinched face. “There is no fixing it. It’s dead. It needs to be recharged, and we can only do that at the research facility.”

  “Which is still a good fifteen miles that way.” I point over his shoulder toward the rusted car covered expanse of highway. “A five to six hours walk on leech infested roads. We can’t walk, Lewis. You need to fix this now.”

  His face puckers even more. “What part of we can’t do you not understand, idiot?”

  “Knock it off,” Luke says. “We don’t have time for name calling, and it sure as hell isn’t going to help our situation.” The big man runs a weary hand across his eyes. “Thought you said we could make it to the facility with room to spare?” His words are calm, but his voice is tinged with annoyance.

  Lewis shrugs at Luke’s question. “We should have been able to. Normally, we could make it that far and more. Maybe the colder weather drained the battery? Maybe it’s not properly holding a charge? Who knows?”

  “Maybe you should have checked before we left the fucking farm,” Dom sneers.

  “I did check it, asshole.” Lewis flushes with anger. “You think I wanted this to happen? Seriously?”

  “Throwing blame won’t help.” Luke’s words shut down the argument. “We need solutions.”

  “Can we contact the farm and ask them to send another truck?” Badger asks, and my head bobs up and down in agreement as I point at him.

  “Yes. That.”

  “No, we’re out of range. The only way to contact the farm is from the lab’s shortwave radio. Our radios aren’t strong enough. We won’t be able to contact the lab either, not until we walk a few more miles.”

  “Fuck,” Badger mutters again at Luke’s answer. I get where he’s coming from.