by Emma Miles
‘He should be fine. He lost blood and he’ll have a few scars, but he was lucky.’ The healer looked from Jorrun to Kesta. ‘He should stay here for a couple of days. It’s not the most pleasant place but I can feed him, and I recommend you give that slash across his chest time to knit together before he starts moving about.’
Jorrun closed his eyes briefly and nodded. ‘I cannot wait and must report to the king.’
‘Aye, Thane, I imagine you do. Don’t worry, he’s safe here. Shall I send him on to the Northold when he is ready?’
Kesta sat upright and held her breath. She didn’t want Osun to die, for Jorrun’s sake, but the thought of having him at Northold … She still hoped that she could persuade Jorrun that they could be together somehow; she couldn’t bear the thought of having his brother with them.
‘Yes. Send him to me at Northold.’
Every muscle in Kesta’s chest tightened and a heavy weight settled across her shoulders and in her heart.
‘I will, Thane.’ The healer gave a small bow and then went about his work.
‘Are you coming to Northold, or will you be going to Milaiya?’
Kesta swallowed and forced herself to look around at him. His usual perfect posture and composure was gone. He slumped in his chair, dark, bruised-looking skin surrounded his puffy eyes.
‘I’m coming to Northold.’
He stood up, and she followed him out of the building. The streets outside seemed completely deserted now and there was little light by which to see. The silence between them screamed at her but without her knowing she had no idea if he was angry with her, she had no idea what he was feeling. It made her feel sick.
Jorrun’s ship was still safely where they’d left it, although with a fire-spirit on-board she supposed she shouldn’t have expected anything else. As soon as she was on-board, Jorrun untied and pushed them free of the wharf.
‘Once we’re clear of the harbour, I can take us up river for a bit,’ she suggested hesitantly. ‘You look like you need some sleep.’
He turned to regard her, but instead of speaking he stepped forward and slid his arms around her to give her a fierce hug. He turned his face to breathe in the scent of her hair. She drew in the warmth of his body like a cold stone absorbing the sun. They both almost lost their balance when their drifting ship hit the wharf. They stepped apart quickly, Jorrun bending to kiss her so quickly that his lips barely brushed hers, leaving her wanting so much more. He went to the side and gave them another push away from the wharf while she went to the rudder. She had a small but constant wind ready to take them up the river as soon as he’d secured the sails.
They took turns resting and sailing the ship; Azrael kept Kesta company more often than Jorrun and when they were together one of them steered while the other created wind for as long as they could. All along the shoreline they witnessed the burnt-out remains of small hamlets and farms, and Kesta’s anxiety grew. A few people seemed to be returning but most ran at the sight of their small ship. The lifting bridge across the mouth of the lake had been totally destroyed and all three of them came out onto the deck to look across the water toward Northold. Kesta caught her breath when she saw the Raven Tower and, glancing over her shoulder to where Jorrun sat at the rudder, she saw him sitting upright and tense. Azrael flew a loop around the sail.
A few ravens circled the trees and her heart lifted when she spotted a few of the hold’s fishing boats out on the lake.
‘It looks like the hold survived!’ She shouted back to Jorrun.
Her eyes widened when she saw the figures waiting on the shore; Rosa and Catya were waving their hands above their heads and the young girl darted forward to run to the end of the wharf. Kesta’s breath caught in her throat and her eyes overflowed. She climbed forward into the narrow space in front of the cabin, her vision blurring. Could it be?
Behind Rosa, her parents stood waiting for her beside Tantony … and Bractius. Her heightened emotions plummeted, and she turned to look at Jorrun. He caught her eyes only briefly before himself regarding the waiting king.
‘I’ll talk to him,’ he said so quietly the wind nearly whipped his words away. ‘He owes us our freedom.’
Kesta didn’t even have time to step off the ship before Catya was throwing herself at her and hugging her tightly. It was hard to step onto the wharf with a thirteen-year-old girl clinging to her waist. She kissed Rosa on the cheek and squeezed her hands and then her father was lifting her off her feet and she thought her ribs would crack he held her so tightly. She was deposited back on the ground in front of Dia and her eyes stung. Her mother regarded the cut under her chin and the now almost faded bruises on her cheek and around her throat. She hugged her as gently as if Kesta were a flower she didn’t want to crush. Over her shoulder Kesta was startled to see Bractius hugging Jorrun, for once being friend before king. Hope surged through her, but her fears turned it to nausea. Surely the king would never let as valuable a weapon as the Dark Man go; but would Bractius free his friend?
Dia followed her gaze, a frown settling on her face as she turned back to study her daughter.
‘Mother, please come and meet Jorrun.’ She hurried across to him and interrupted him by running her hand gently down his arm.
‘Ah! Kesta.’ Bractius beamed at her. ‘Jorrun has just told me that Dryn Dunham is dead.’
She turned to look at her mother whose eyes had narrowed. There was no warmth in the way she regarded Bractius.
‘Mother, this is Jorrun, my husband. Jorrun, the Icante of the Fulmers.’
Jorrun made a small bow and the corners of his mouth lifted upward. ‘I am honoured to meet you.’
Dia studied his eyes and then the rest of his face. Kesta saw him swallow, but he otherwise stood up to her mother’s scrutiny. She glanced at Kesta before turning back to Jorrun. ‘It is good to meet you. I hope you don’t mind, but I took over feeding the ravens in your absence. They have been most useful and contributed to the defence of Elden. One of them advised us of your imminent arrival.’
‘It is kind of you to take care of them,’ he replied.
Kesta moved closer to him, the back of her hand brushing his.
Tantony approached slowly, looking from one face to another. ‘Excuse me, Thane, my lady, there are lots of people waiting in the ward to see you.’
‘Tantony!’ She placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed his bearded cheek. ‘It’s really good to see you!’
Tantony’s face reddened, and he glanced at Jorrun. ‘I’m glad you’re both safe, lady,’ he mumbled.
Jorrun offered her his arm. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him before hesitantly slipping her hand over his forearm.
‘Welcome home!’ Rosa beamed at them both as they made their way into the hold.
***
Kesta let her eyes rove over the familiar faces and she gripped Jorrun’s arm a little tighter. She spotted Kurghan standing among his family and warmth leapt up from her heart to trigger a smile. She gave him a nod, and he bowed in return. Looking up at the walls she saw women and children with bows mixed in among the warriors still. The great hall was crowded but Reetha had everything under control and she was surprised at the feast that had been laid out across the stables despite their recent siege and the burning of the river valley.
Bractius led the way to the head of the table and he pulled out a chair himself for Kesta at his right side. Both she and Jorrun hesitated and looked at each other when it became clear that the king intended to sit between them. Kesta reluctantly removed her hand, but it was Jorrun who moved away first to sit to the left of the king. Her heart sank still further when she saw her mother seated on the other side of Jorrun; however, when her father appeared at her right shoulder, she felt herself relax a little. She told herself there was still time. Time to catch up with her mother, and time to be with Jorrun.
She jumped when Bractius banged on the table with a closed fist. The room muttered its way to silence.
‘Good p
eople of Northold, of Elden, and our dearest friends of the Fulmers!’ Bractius raised a hand. ‘As you know, we have turned back the attack on our beloved land from the sorcerers of Chem! This afternoon, it’s my honour to announce to you first that your Thane, Jorrun of Northold, and our very own Lady Kesta, have returned from Chem having defeated the Overlord himself!’
Both Jorrun and Kesta opened their mouths to protest, but the king continued.
‘Raise your glasses, good people; Thane Jorrun and Lady Kesta!’
Kesta’s muscles tightened, and she tried to shrink in on herself as the cheers of the room jarred her bones. She turned to look at Jorrun and found that he’d sought her eyes in return. Spirits she wished that she was standing beside him. She almost fell forward into the table when her father slapped her hard on the back.
‘My urchin.’ He grinned at her proudly.
To Kesta the afternoon and evening seemed endlessly long. Although it warmed her soul to be among these people again and to catch up with Rosa and Catya, she ached to be with Jorrun and desperately needed to seek the advice of her mother. Eventually, Jorrun was able to lead the king away to the Raven Tower and Kesta watched her husband until he vanished from her sight.
‘Kesta?’ Her mother stepped up quietly beside her.
She grabbed her mother’s hand and squeezed it. ‘Let’s go to my room.’
They slipped away from the great hall and Kesta led the way up the stairs of the Ivy Tower to her room at the top. It was at once both familiar and alien, as though it had lost its life with her absence. As soon as the door closed behind them, Kesta turned to hug her mother tightly.
‘What happened?’ she asked. ‘Tell me everything.’
They moved two chairs together and Kesta listened as her mother told her of her hunt for Relta, of Shaherra’s death, and their battle against Adelphy.
‘King Bractius insisted on parading us through the city and handing out simple food to those who had been trapped within,’ she finished with a wince. ‘It took some persuasion, but he finally relented and let us come here to wait for news of you in peace. As soon as he received Jorrun’s message that you were at Taurmouth he came here himself to tell us.’ She regarded Kesta and reached out to place a hand over hers. ‘And what of you? It’s not like you to be so quiet.’
Kesta took in several breaths before she spoke. ‘When I first came here and Bractius pronounced his price for aid, I imagined that my life would be one of despair and torment. I never expected to find friendship and a place other than the Fulmers that could feel like a home. I certainly never …’ She closed her eyes and drew air in to her lungs. ‘I certainly never expected to fall in love.’ She told her mother of what had befallen her, of how Jorrun had not been what he pretended for the king. Then with a tightening throat she told her mother of Bractius’s plans to use any children she might have with Jorrun to bring magic to the royal line of Elden. ‘Jorrun insists I must go home to the Fulmers, but he won’t come with me. I could stay, but I have a duty to the Fulmers and I wouldn’t wish the life Jorrun has on any child we might have.’
‘You have a duty to yourself as well as to the Fulmers.’ Her mother squeezed her hand.
‘I’ve seen the way Bractius is with Jorrun.’ Kesta shook her head. She drew her shaking hands into her lap. ‘He is always king first and friend only when it’s convenient. He would have no qualms in treating our children and me like … well, like the lords of Chem do their slaves. Like property.’
‘I don’t think this is something I can solve for you, Kesta.’ Dia moved her chair to face her and looked her deep in the eyes. ‘I’ve never known you run from something difficult, not since you were old enough to walk. Neither have I ever seen you so turned inside out by a man. Only you can decide what to do, only you and Jorrun; but I will support you whatever you decide, as will the Fulmers.’
Kesta nodded. She felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders at the same time as pressure still built against her chest.
Dia shifted in her seat. ‘Now we know you’re safe we will be returning to the Fulmers tomorrow. Please don’t think you have to come, follow when you wish – or not.’
Kesta looked up, her eyes wide. Despite her mother’s reassurance it did make it feel like she had only one night to decide. She steadied her breathing and forced herself to think rationally and not emotionally. ‘If I don’t come will you go via Taurmouth and take Milaiya with you?’
‘Of course. I should get back to your father before he drinks too much and forgets to be diplomatic.’ She stood up and kissed Kesta’s cheek. ‘Find Jorrun and speak to him.’
Kesta couldn’t face going back down to the great hall, she paced her room, occasionally going to the window to look across at the Raven Tower. She hadn’t seen the king leave as yet, nor heard his booming laugh in the hall below. Night was deeply settled before she saw two figures crossing toward the keep. The king’s strides were swift, Jorrun walked more slowly, head lowered. She was contemplating going down when she heard the door go far below. The careful footsteps were achingly familiar and looking around quickly she decided to sit in her usual chair and tried to look composed; however, as soon as Jorrun knocked at the door and opened it to look cautiously in, she was on her feet.
‘I wasn’t sure if you were on your own.’
Her legs took her quickly across the space between them and she slipped her arms around his ribs. He hugged her fiercely back before kissing her cheek and going to the window; he placed his clenched fists on the sill.
Kesta held her breath.
Jorrun bowed his head, the muscles of his jaw moved as he clenched his teeth. ‘Bractius will not let me go to the Fulmers to live with you. He was very clear in his opinion that he would consider such a thing to be treason on my part and an act of aggression from the Fulmer—’
‘But that’s nonsense!’ Kesta moved to stand behind him. ‘He must know that.’
Jorrun turned to face her, his lips thin and his eyes wide and reddened. ‘You don’t understand how controlling he is. His throne and his power come first; always. I managed to persuade him that you need to go to the Fulmers with your mother to help her manage things after the attack there. I’ll … I’ll deal with him later when you don’t come back.’
She shook her head, her breathing fast and shallow. She couldn’t speak but stepped forward to meet him when he bent to kiss her and wrap her hair around his fingers. ‘Thank you for everything you have done, Kesta,’ he said into her hair. ‘Thank you for saving my life and for saving my people.’
His people, she wondered. He was a man born from all nations and yet he belonged to none of them.
‘I’m so sorry for what we did to you.’
A spark of anger cut through her grief and she stepped back to look up at him, her hands resting against the back of his neck. ‘I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry that we destroyed the Dunhams. I’m not sorry that I met you.’
He bowed to rest his forehead against hers. She could feel how much he wanted her, and it inflamed her own desire. Yet both Bractius and Osun stood between them, an unwanted and seemingly insurmountable wall. She could feel his heart beating against her own chest.
She closed her eyes. ‘There will be a way.’
He grabbed her roughly by the arms and pushed her away, almost shaking her with each word that he spoke. ‘Don’t you dare wait for me, Kesta! You are stronger than that. If you’re not going to live your life, then you might as well be a slave.’ His skin and eyes had turned red and tears fell as he blinked.
She stared up at him wide-eyed, but before she could make a reply he kissed her again, this time very slowly as though memorising every sensation. He was saying goodbye. A thousand splinters pierced her heart, and she buried her face in his neck and shoulder to hide her tears.
Please stay. Please stay just for tonight! She pushed her thoughts toward him but was too proud to say them aloud, too scared that he would say no.
His arms withdrew
from around her and he touched her face to kiss her one last time before stepping away. She could barely breathe her chest and throat were so tight.
‘I won’t come out to say goodbye tomorrow.’ His blue eyes, as hot as a flame, searched hers. ‘I’m sorry to be a coward but it will be easier for us both.’ His voice almost failed as he walked toward the door. ‘You’ll have a wonderful life, Kesta; stay free for both of us.’
She opened her mouth to gasp in air, her vision splintered into rainbows through her tears as he vanished through the door. For several, painful heartbeats she stood frozen before her feet jerked into motion and she ran to the window to look across at the Raven Tower; at its dark and empty windows. She sank to the carpet, her cheek pressed against the stone of the wall below the window, her arms wrapped tightly around her shaking body. Tears snaked down her hot cheeks.
‘Kessta.’
She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and looked around to see Azrael hovering between herself and the bed.
‘I hate seeing you and Jorrun hurting sso much.’ The fire-spirit made himself small and pale.
‘It isn’t very pleasant from my side, either.’ She moved her hands down to her stomach to try to hold in the feeling of nausea. Her heart still raced. She sniffed and swallowed, trying to pull herself together. ‘Would you like a story, Azra?’
‘I will read you one, Kesta.’ He came closer and made himself larger.
‘But you can’t read a book.’
‘I have books inside me, Kesta.’
They heard voices below and she got unsteadily to her feet. There was a soft knock, but she couldn’t find her voice. It was Azrael who invited them in.
‘Azra.’ Catya grinned.
Rosa went straight to Kesta and wrapped her in a warm and gentle hug. Kesta bit hard at her lower lip to fight against the sting of her eyes and the awful pain in her chest.
‘Jorrun told us to come up and see you.’ Rosa studied her face with her kind eyes.