by Emma Miles
Kesta sniffed and drew herself up. ‘I’m leaving tomorrow, Rosa. I would love you to come but that would be selfish. As long as the queen allows it you must stay here with Tantony. Whatever you do, you must tell him how you feel. Don’t waste a minute more of your life with politeness and shyness.’
Rosa’s cheeks flushed, and she looked away. ‘I’m not sure that Tantony even likes me.’
Kesta grabbed the tops of her arms and gripped tightly. ‘Of course, he does! You know it really, too.’
Rosa regarded her, eyes wide. She nodded.
‘But I’m coming with you.’ Catya announced, hands on her hips. ‘I’m your bodyguard and Heara is going to teach me.’
Rosa and Kesta looked at each other and smiled.
‘Get Jorrun’s permission and you can come.’ Kesta nodded her agreement. ‘Now, Azrael has just promised me a story.’
Kesta settled on the floor against the bed and Catya snuggled against her. Rosa sat up against the pillows, but it wasn’t long before she was asleep and breathing loudly. Azrael spun his tale and Kesta tried hard to lose herself in it and forget that her soul was weeping, and her heart was breaking. She couldn’t stop shaking.
***
The first thing she did when she rose was go to the window and look at the Raven Tower. The windows looked dark and empty, but the ravens were more active than she’d ever seen them, circling the tower and diving down at the ward. She spotted the source of their excitement at once; her mother had gone out to feed them and they squabbled over who could sit on her shoulders and outstretched arms.
Gritting her teeth and tensing her shoulders, Kesta set about packing her few possessions. Her heart caught as she touched the cold metal of the silver leaf necklace Jorrun had given her. Her anger rose to defend her from pain, but her hand would not unclench to let the necklace go, nor move to throw it. Instead she secured it about her neck. She was done in less than ten minutes, her hand brushed over the back of the chair in which Jorrun had always sat as she passed it to head for the door. She couldn’t help a last glance out of the window toward the tower.
When she reached the ward Catya came running after her, breathing hard.
‘He said yes!’ she panted. ‘Will you wait a moment for me to get my things?’
‘I’ll wait.’ She smiled, a ghostly mask across her real emotions.
She dropped her bag and hurried across to the stables, finding Griffon’s stall and feeling guilt creep across her skin like a chill at abandoning the nervous, intelligent horse. She tried to let him know he would be safe, that he could trust Nerim and bright little Nip. Nerim walked quietly up to her and waited in patient silence as she said goodbye to the horse. He reached out a hand, and she clasped his wrist, not looking up once before turning to head toward the gate and the small wharf.
She clenched her fists when she saw Bractius was there among the people of the hold waiting to see them off. Catya was already scrambling aboard the ship that would take them down the river Taur; Heara was there to help her on. It was Jorrun’s ship. Her feet faltered. Her eyes searched the waiting crowd. He wasn’t there.
She passed Kurghan and reached out a hand. With a grin he shook it. His sister turned her head slightly to wipe at the corner of her eye. Reetha stepped forward to hand her something warm wrapped in cloth; she could smell that it was her wonderful thyme bread. The old woman looked down coyly when Kesta kissed her soft, wrinkled cheek.
She stopped when she reached Rosa and Tantony. She regarded them both, trying to burn their faces in to her memory so they could stay as strongly there as they stood in her heart. Tantony took a startled step back as she dropped her bag to hug him and kiss his bearded cheek. She took Rosa’s hands and looked in to her eyes for a long time before giving her a hug.
‘I’ll miss you both.’ A painful lump formed in her throat.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ Rosa dabbed at her reddening eyes.
Tantony scratched at his beard. ‘It’s going to be rather quiet without you. Too quiet.’
She grinned despite herself.
When she reached Bractius, the king stood beaming at her. She had no doubt that he had some prepared speech ready to entertain those wanting to believe it. She bared her teeth in a snarl. ‘Anyone can make people fear them,’ she said. ‘Respect is much harder to earn. You don’t deserve the loyalty you have.’
She didn’t wait for a reply but strode toward the wooden planking of the wharf. Everyone was ready and waiting on the ship. Her mother stood watching her, her hands folded together before her although her shoulders were tensed. Kesta turned to look back at Northold and its people. Her eyes travelled up to the Raven Tower and then searched the crowd. She could feel her blood pulsing through the vein in her neck and every breath seemed harder to take than the last. He wasn’t there.
‘Kesta?’
It was her father who spoke but when she turned, it was her mother’s eyes she caught. Her legs didn’t want to move. Her mother lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes. ‘Cast off,’ she said.
‘No!’ Kesta choked out the word and forced her legs to move. Her feet were hard to lift, as though weights had been tied to her ankles. Her heart shrank and shattered, her pulse thundered in her ears and sweat trickled down her back. But she moved forward and took her father’s hand as she stepped over onto the deck.
She didn’t move as the ship – his ship – took them away from the wharf. She held her mother’s eyes, frozen, barely breathing. As they moved out onto the lake her muscles seemed to come alive and she ran back to look toward the wharf, at the waving people, at the walls of the hold; at the Raven Tower. She watched as it all grew smaller, as the trees seemed to spring up to hide her view of everything but the highest windows and the sharply slanted roof around which the ravens flew. She took in a deep, painful breath, her heart hammering against her ribs. With a rush of willpower, she turned away to face forward toward the mouth of the river, toward the way home.
Behind her, unseen, the windows of the Raven Tower blazed suddenly with candlelight.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, a big thank you to you, the reader, for choosing this book and taking the time to read it. I hope you enjoyed it, if you did please leave me a review, reviews are incredibly important to us authors. I would love it if you said hello, come and find me in one of the places below:
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Thank you also to my loyal Facebook ‘likers’, for your constant support in reading and ‘liking’ my posts. Val Coote, Alan Pearson and of course my Aunty Karolyn; your encouragement is noticed and very much appreciated.
Thank you to the amazing authors who are a part of the FictionCafe family, your advice, company and support has made a big impact on my life, not just as a writer. A fond hello also to my Spoonie family. Rosie Cranie-Higgs, I learned a lot from your editing advice. Ta for the goats Kiltie!
Thank you to Sarah Anderson for the wonderful book cover.
And a big thank you to the lovely Emma Mitchell, my editor, for her hard work and the confidence boost when I was having a moment of doubt.
And Andy . . . thanks for the ‘and’s, crucial to any book!