My Friend is an Alien (niklas and friends)

by Niklas Edlund

  And stepped inside what looked exactly like a large, fairly high-tech, military outpost. There were two officers standing inside, and about a dozen enlisted personnel at various computer stations. The ranking officer was a grim-faced, older general, who scowled at Simmons and his men. "Major, what is the meaning of this?!"

  Simmons blinked, stunned. He quickly came to attention and saluted. "Sir! We've — had reports of possible UFO activity in this area, sir. We were investigating."

  "UFOs?!" barked the general. "Poppycock! This is a secret military installation designed to test new electronic camouflage equipment, short-range weaponry, and conduct special maneuvers."

  Simmons had regained a little of his bravado. "Sir, there have been reports of mysterious flashes of light and sound in the area."

  "Of course there would be!" roared the general. "It's a new weapon system designed to distract the enemy! I would have hoped that our own boys would have been above such obvious devices!"

  "Sir, we passed no checkpoints on our way in." said Simmons.

  "Of course you didn't, Major. Wouldn't that rather blow the 'secret' part of this operation, to have guards apparently guarding nothing?" replied the general, in an exasperated tone.

  "Sir, what about those three children?" asked the major.

  "What about them?" asked the general. "They stumbled across the place not long after we set up. I felt it might be a good idea to continue to let them play here — when we're not testing weapons outside, of course — to keep the illusion of nothing going on out here intact. They've been fully sworn to secrecy, as well. Not even their parents know."

  "That's — unusual procedure, Sir." said Simmons.

  "Are you questioning my command?!" yelled the general.

  "No, Sir!" answered Simmons quickly. "But why hasn't anyone else heard about this place?"

  "Because it's a secret, major! That's the whole point of it! Strictly need to know! And YOU are now under orders to go back to your command and destroy ANY records you have of this place, and forget that you were ever out here, unless you want to find yourself mysteriously demoted right down to private and cleaning latrines in the most unpleasant place I can think of! And I can think of plenty! Do you have a problem with anything I've just said?!?"

  Simmons saluted and tried to keep from sweating. "No, SIR!"

  "GOOD!" yelled the general. "Now get out of here before somebody sees YOU and blows OUR cover!"

  "Yes, SIR!" replied Simmons, quickly turning around and escorting his men out the door, across the field, into their vehicles, and away from the area at a speed normally not recommended by the highway department.

  Davy, Keith, and Martin had remained standing outside the tent rather nervously. They weren't entirely sure what to expect or what to do. They didn't want to run off and abandon their friends, but neither did they want to be taken away with them if they were captured. So they remained hoping that, at worst, if they had to, they could escape in some measure of confusion and maybe take their friends Jahv and Keyro along with them. The last thing they expected was such an obvious retreat.

  Once the soldiers were gone and that particular fact had sunk in, it was Keith who commented first. "Hunh. What do you suppose caused that?"

  "What would cause a bunch of soldiers to be scared of two naked alien kids?" asked Davy to no one in particular.

  Keith snickered. "Do me a favor, Davy. Don't hand me straight lines like that, okay?"

  "Too bad the dome-tent is soundproofed." remarked Martin, still scared. "Maybe we'd better check on them. Maybe the soldiers just — shot them?"

  That got all three of the kids back in the dome-tent in a hurry. Jahv and Keyro were perfectly fine, Keyro having returned to his video, and Jahv storing the holocron device in a holding place on a control panel. "Oh, hi guys!" said Jahv cheerfully. "I was afraid you'd left."

  "You're okay?" asked Martin.

  "Yes, we're fine." replied Jahv.

  "Okay — what did you do?" demanded Keith. "The last time I saw a retreat like that was at school, when Bubba Trukowski got sick over his limburger cheese pizza."

  "Just a little holocron trickery." replied Jahv. "And some experience with some of your military movies. There's some really pompous, scary commanding generals in those things. Ever see 'Patton'?"

  The boys started to giggle. Even if they hadn't seen the movie, they got the idea.

  "Wish I could've seen that." said Keith, finally stifling the giggles. "Although I'm surprised they didn't wonder about this mess of a shirt I'm wearing."

  "They probably figured it was just some T-shirt pattern." said Davy.

  "You mean it's NOT?" exclaimed Martin. "Keith, did your stepdad do that to you?"

  Keith fell silent.

  "Yeah, we've still got a problem here, even though we got rid of the military, hopefully for good." said Davy. "Keith, enough is enough. Your stepfather can't keep doing this to you."

  "It wasn't just him." insisted Keith. "I really did fall over a table."

  "After he grabbed you and you pulled away." said Jahv. "Maybe he hasn't beaten you that severely yet, but doesn't this sort of thing just tend to get worse?"

  "It's against the law, even as it is, I'd think." said Davy. "One of these days he might do something that not even Jahv can fix!"

  "Come on, Keith, you can't let him keep hurting you like this." urged Martin. "You've got to report this to somebody. I'm sure my parents would help."

  "Look, guys," said Keith, "I appreciate it, but as much as I hate being around him, I don't wanna end up in some special agency, or stuck in foster care, or maybe forced to leave town with some strangers that some court judge says are supposed to take care of me. I'd miss all of you too much."

  Martin's eyes were filled with tears. Keith was his best friend. Davy was close to crying, too. But he was thinking, as well. There had to be some way to get Mr. Dillinger to cut Keith some slack. Then he noticed the holocron. "I've got an idea."

  Keith looked up, skeptically. "What are you — no, don't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know. Just don't do anything that's gonna get me into even more trouble, okay? Just — just leave it alone. Hell, if I can survive long enough, I'll be grown up and can legally move out."

  "Okay, if that's what you want." said Davy sadly. "Maybe you'd better head home before you get into more trouble."

  "Yeah, right." said Keith, leaving the tent. Davy, Jahv, and the rest watched him depart.

  "I hate this." said Martin. "Keith's my best friend. We can't just let him keep getting hurt."

  Davy grinned slyly. "Sometimes you gotta help people whether they want it or not."

  "You sound like you have a plan." said Jahv. "And I suspect it involves our technology."

  Davy kept grinning, his mind already working. First, he'd need to convince his parents that he wanted to spend the night in his treehouse. Then… "What works on the military, oughtta work on civilians…"

  Keith rode his bike home, and, not surprisingly, his stepfather threatened to beat him. But his mother got the man to back off. For his part, Mr. Dillinger was surprised that Keith was uninjured. He was certain Keith's nose had been broken, and for that matter, so was his mother, but except for the blood on the boy's shirt, Keith was unhurt. But for his «misbehavior», Keith was sent to his room without any dinner. Later that night, Keith crept downstairs to get something to eat. His mom and stepfather had turned in early that night. Keith grabbed a couple of toaster waffles from the freezer, toasted them as quietly as he could, poured a glass of milk, and started to tip-toe back to his room.

  And ran smack into Davy, Jahv, and Keyro coming through the living room. Keith almost yelled, but checked himself just in time. "What the hell-?!" he whispered. "How did you get in here?"

  Jahv held up a tiny device. "Electronic lockpick."

  "Besides," said Davy. "You're just dreaming, Keith. Go back to bed."

  Keith glared at Davy. "Get off it. What the hell are you three doing in here?"


  "Helping you, whether you want it or not," said Davy, with a slight edge to his voice, "and I don't think you can do much about it without waking your parents, and that'd just get you into more trouble."

  Keith was angry, but he also knew that Davy and the two aliens had him over the proverbial barrel. "Okay, you three. I can't stop you. But I swear if whatever you're up to gets me into trouble, I'm taking it out on the lot of you." Keith resisted the urge to either stomp up the steps to his bedroom, or to slam the door. He scarfed the waffles and hoped he'd be long asleep before those three idiots did whatever it was they intended.

  Two minutes later, Davy and two aliens, one holding the holocron, silently crept up the stairs and found the Dillinger's master bedroom.

  And less than a minute later…

  "DILLINGER!" roared a thunderous, echoing voice. Keith woke up to find Davy at his bedside, grinning like an idiot and telling Keith to stay put. Keith now had at least a general idea of what was going on. He grinned, slightly. He was still skeptical, however.

  The Dillingers woke up to find their bedroom turned into a nightmare miasma of outer space. Their bed seemed to be floating on nothing. Stars, comets, nebulae soared past. Suns exploded in the distance. Planets flew out of their orbits and roared dangerously close.

  And standing at the foot of the bed were two of the most horrific-looking aliens one could possibly imagine. These things would scare Klingons. They'd scare those acid-blooded critters that Sigourney Weaver kept picking fights with. Easily over seven feet tall, one had green skin, the other lavendar. Impossibly muscular, they had deepset eyes, long, flowing white hair, antennae on the backs of their heads, ridged foreheads, and they were decked out in battle armor that was something out of a Japanese animator's worst nightmare. Each brandished a huge, bladed weapon that looked like it was part axe and part sword, and was double bladed at both ends. Their voices were deep and echoing.

  Mr. Dillinger swore in utter shock. Mrs. Dillinger screamed.

  "We need to have words, Mr. Dillinger." said the green alien. "You've been abusing a friend of ours. Your stepson Keith."

  "Oh, damn." said Dillinger meekly. "Those military bastards were right. There are aliens out there."

  "We took care of them earlier today. Now it's your turn." said the lavendar alien.

  Dillinger remained slightly skeptical. Everything he saw around him — this just wasn't possible. "How do I know this is real?"

  "Your son's nose was broken this morning as a result of your actions." said the green alien. "We fixed it."

  Dillinger felt a cold shudder run down his spine.

  "And if that isn't enough…" said the lavendar alien, raising his weapon, "just in case you think to write this off as a dream…"

  "Or a nightmare…" added the green alien.

  "Remember this!" yelled the lavendar alien, bringing his weapon down and leaving a large mark on the bedpost at the foot of the bed.

  "Start treating Keith with more care and respect, Dillingers." warned the green alien. "Or next time, your furniture will not be all that suffers. And be warned, any attempt to find us, will only result in tragedy for all concerned."

  There was a flash of light and an explosion of thunder, and when the Dillingers' eyes had cleared, the room was back to normal. "That hadda be a dream." muttered Mr. Dillinger angrily. "It hadda be."

  "I don't think so." said his wife, still terrified. She looked at the bedpost. It was still marked. "And someone did fix Keith's nose after it was broken."

  "Hey, he had it coming!" barked Dillinger. "If the little twerp hadn't broken away from me…"

  "You probably would have hurt him anyway." said Mrs. Dillinger, with enough anger in her voice to bother Mr. Dillinger.

  "Yeah, well…" Dillinger couldn't think of anything to say. The room still smelled of ozone from the aliens' departure.

  "What are we going to do?" asked Mrs. Dillinger.

  The next day was yet another in a growing series of insufferably hot and humid days that this summer had produced. The kind where you figure that even if you could work up enough saliva to spit, it'd evaporate before it hit the sidewalk. The kind of humidity where your clothes and your hair make you feel like you've been stuffed into plastic wrap and tossed into a warming oven. Keith scarcely noticed, tearing through the neighborhood on his bicycle, jumping curbs, letting out a whoop every so often, and occasionally scaring traffic.

  He raced out to the pond near Davy's home as fast as he possibly could, once he set his mind to it. He practically jumped off the bike as it clattered to the ground, and found the location where Jahv's dome-tent was located. Based on the presence of other bicycles, it was reasonable to assume that Davy, Martin, and even Niklas were out here.

  Keith ran into the tent. "I heard the whole thing last night, you guys." he said. "Nice bit of acting. You ever get discovered for real, we should just turn you over to George Lucas."

  "So what was the result?" asked Davy.

  Keith sort of grinned. "Well, you scared them, that's for sure. I kinda think he's going to back off for a while, probably till school starts, anyway. He'll probably crack down on me again then. But he kind of said that whatever I wanted to do this summer was okay with him, as long as I didn't cause trouble or break the law."

  "And what you want to do is —?" asked Niklas.

  Keith laughed once. "Stay as far away from him as possible. If anybody's looking for an overnight guest, maybe for a couple of nights or so in a row, I'm definitely available."

  "I get him first!" called Martin.

  "I'm sure it'd be cool with my parents once in a while." said Davy.

  Keith nodded. "With a little luck, I might not have to be home more than a day or two in a row this summer."

  "What about your grandmother?" asked Niklas.

  Keith shrugged. "Ah, she's okay. But she's getting too old to take care of me, and you know she doesn't like having other kids around. I'm glad I can stay with her most of the time, though. I just wish I could see my mom more often without HIM around."

  "I still think you should report this." said Davy. "Maybe one of us could persuade our parents to take you in."

  Keith raised a hand. "One step at a time, guys, okay? I don't trust the cops or any child welfare authorities to do the right thing. And for now — I'll take what I can get. If he leaves me alone the rest of the summer, that works for me. But I do owe you an apology. I didn't think anything could be done. You proved me wrong. Thanks for your help."

  "Keith, we're your friends." said Davy. "What else could we do?"

  "We could go to the pond!" announced Keith. "You know how hot it is out there today?"

  "There is one other thing, that I think we should discuss." announced Jahv. "Two things, actually. The first is: we have heard you refer sometimes to others of your friends. A boy named Jonathon. Another who calls himself Sniv, although I should mention that that's a pretty rude word on a couple of worlds I can think of. Keyro and I are very glad to have all of you as friends, but we would like to meet more of your friends. Would this be possible soon?"

  The boys considered the question. Niklas knew the others best. "I think so. I'm sure we could trust Sniv, and I know we could trust Jason and Fabian. I'm not so sure about Jonathon, but maybe. Maybe Randy, too."

  Jahv nodded. "Good. We'd like to meet and know more of your friends."

  "You said two things." remarked Davy.

  "Remember when we used the holocron to visit a representation of our world?" asked Jahv.

  "Do I?" said Davy. "The inside of my mouth is still healing from those flame berries or whatever they were."

  "It occurred to us that there are many different planets and races out there." said Jahv. "And although we are banned from ever returning to our homeworld, no such ban exists for other planets."

  "Yeah, so?" asked Keith.

  "Come with us." Jahv and Keyro stood, and led the boys through a second doorway in the dome-tent. One that had not been there until recen
tly. "It's taken some doing. Fortunately, Keyro's backpack contained a second, larger dome-tent. And an intact computer, complete with the necessary schematics. The fabrication equipment that makes dry goods similar to how our replicators make food has been difficult to convert for a project like this, but it has worked. And it's almost ready."

  "What's ready?" asked Niklas. The interior of this second dome-tent was darkened.

  "Lights!" said Jahv.

  The second dome-tent was a hangar. And in the center of it, nearly complete, was a huge, sleek, gleaming shuttle, that looked like it was straight out of Star Trek, Star Wars, or something equally futuristic. There was no question that it was capable of interstellar flight.

  "Ohhh, wow." whispered Davy, breaking the silence of the four boys. Jahv and Keyro were grinning widely.

  Niklas started giggling. "What's so funny?" asked Keith.

  "No one's going to believe it, you know." said Niklas, still giggling. "We're going to have to lie like nobody's business when we write the reports for school."

  "What reports?" asked Martin.

  "How we spent our summer vacation." said Niklas, finally breaking down into complete hysterics, followed quickly by Davy, Martin, and Keith. Jahv and Keyro didn't quite get the joke, but they laughed as well.

  The entire group headed out to the pond to cool off, and there they spent the rest of the day, with the prospect of the greatest adventure of all yet ahead.

  Part 6

  It had been a busy few weeks for Jahv and his friends. First off, Niklas had brought Jason and Fabian out to meet Jahv and Keyro. That had been more difficult for Niklas than he had thought. He'd never kept secrets from his friends, but he had kept silent about Jahv and Keyro. So he hadn't been sure how to bring up the subject.

  One morning, both Jason and Fabian had come to Niklas' house, just as Mrs. Edlund was taking Tina shopping. "Niklas is asleep, boys, but I'd appreciate it if you'd get him up, anyway. I don't want him sleeping the summer away." As usual during the summer months, Niklas had slept late. Jason and Fabian stood over the bed wondering what the best — and most amusing — means of awakening their friend might be.