He looked over at me. “She speaks.”
“I’m upset, and I don’t talk when I’m upset.” I took a deep breath. “Sam’s hurt,” I told him. I did have to wipe away a tear. “I think it’s bad. Even if he gets better, maybe he shouldn’t be Hank anymore. By the end of last season, he was in a lot of pain, and now he already threw his back out.”
“They can find a new Hank. How hard can it be to run around in a big head and chase a rat?”
I didn’t laugh. I didn’t even smile. “You don’t understand.”
“So explain it to me,” he told me.
“I don’t want to. The only thing I want to do is go home, get clean, and get something to eat.”
“Stop at your house first. I can get a car back to my place.”
“No…” I started, but he shook his head.
“Go to your house. I mean it.” So I signaled to turn right instead of left, and 20 minutes later, we were pulling down my tree-lined street.
“This is me,” I said. I walked around to the other side of the car to help him out. The car was so low, it was going to be hard for him. Davis gingerly unfolded himself from the seat. “Come and wait inside.” Unlike him, I didn’t make people hang out on my porch while waiting for rides. I unlocked the front door and walked ahead into the former living room. “Sorry there’s no place to sit in here. You’ll have to go into the kitchen.”
He was staring around the room, eyes flitting over my two easels and all the lights I had set up. “What are you doing in here?”
“I paint,” I told him, and gestured him toward the kitchen. “The house is a little small, and it’s only me now, so I turned the living room into my studio. It has the best light and the most room, but it means that it’s a little tough for me to have guests.”
Davis settled in a kitchen chair and I pulled another over for his leg, then got out a bag of frozen veggies for his knee. Corn, this time.
“Look, don’t get a car,” I said. “Just let me take a shower, and I know I’ll feel better. I’m just tired and worried.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” I took a long time getting dressed, though, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he were gone by the time I came out. I felt better, but still concerned. I thought I would call Sam after I got Davis home, and maybe stop by, too. I didn’t imagine that Dotty would be great as a caretaker, but I hoped I was wrong. She had, after all, brought him the bottle to piss in, as he had told me.
Davis was putting away his phone when I came out of the bedroom. I wondered what he was always doing on it.
“I talked to the trainers at the Woodsmen about your friend.”
“About Sam? You did?” I stared at him. “Why?”
“I thought he could go see my doctors. The team should pay for it, rather than have him mess around with someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing. They’ll get him in tomorrow and see what’s wrong.”
“Really? Wow, Davis. Thank you.”
He shrugged. “They’re always spreading that bullshit about us being a family. They should act like it.”
I sat down across from him. “How was it for you today, being at the stadium?”
“Hard.” His jaw clenched. “I wanted to fucking kill Kayden. Did you see him in the huddle? He has no control of the situation. He played all right, but he doesn’t demand their respect.”
“He’s young,” I said softly. “He doesn’t have the experience you do.” I paused. “I thought you might be glad that he didn’t play well. It’s better for you.”
“I want the team to win. I always want that. For myself, I’m ashamed to say I was glad to see him throw so poorly and miss all those reads.” He looked away from me. “That makes me sound like a prick.”
I reached out for his hand, and this time, I touched it gently with my fingertips. “That makes you sound human.”
He watched my fingers, and he didn’t move. “I saw you pick up that little girl.”
I smiled and put my hands in my lap. “Wasn’t she cute? She just got a little stage fright.” My smile faded. “That routine after the big halftime show was when Sam’s back really started to bother him. I had to drag him off the field at the end of the game.”
He nodded. “I didn’t know if it was part of the show.”
“Trish knew. She saw the whole thing and she was really mad at us until she realized that Sam was injured. If things aren’t perfect, Trish blows a gasket.”
He huffed. “She cares that much about dancing vermin?”
I stood up quickly. “I know you think it’s a joke, that all we’re doing is running around like idiots. But Sam and I, and all the Woodsmen Dames too, we all work very hard. It’s not like we’re just dummies they pulled in off the street and threw into uniforms. It took years of training to get where we are, and it takes hours of practice together to learn the routines and dances and execute them. It takes even more time for us to stay in shape, working out and rehearsing alone. And we do it all on top of having other jobs, also—well, I do, and most of the Woodsmen Dames do, too. It hurts my feelings when you’re always making fun.”
Davis was watching me, his Easter Island face on.
“And what am I going to do without my job as Nutty? You make fun of the Woodsmen Family stuff, too, but they do take good care of the employees. I got my grandma into the Lakeview Cottage retirement home because they have an arrangement with the team to take former employees and they take our relatives also. I make pretty good money, money which I need to keep her there. If Sam is permanently out as Hank the Hunter, they won’t need me as Nutty. And that makes me sound like a prick, because I’m worried about myself instead of Sam. Hank is his only job. What will he do without it?” I took a deep breath and tried to calm down but I started crying a little again, instead. Maybe I did talk even when I was upset. “I’m just tired,” I sniffed, and rubbed my cheeks with the back of my hand. “And I’m hungry. And I don’t want to cook anything.”
Davis stood and put his hand on my shoulder. He just rested it there for a moment, then he wiped his fingers over my cheek. “Should we go out to eat?”
“You and me? Together?”
“If you don’t mind driving me. And you don’t mind people annoying us.”
“If you don’t mind being smushed in my car.”
Davis shook his head. “I don’t.” He carried the bag of frozen corn with us, though, so I thought his knee was still bothering him.
We were about a mile down the road before he spoke again. “I’m sorry. About calling you the rat.”
“I don’t mind that. I think that part’s funny,” I admitted.
“Then I’m sorry for not taking your job seriously.”
“I guess it’s hard when I’m dressed as a tiny forest creature.”
“I’m sorry anyway,” he said. Now he reached over and touched my hand on the wheel. “Ok?”
“Yeah, ok.” And I did feel much better.
Davis and I went to a little restaurant for dinner and sat at a table in the back, where it was kind of dark. I had a feeling that he had been to this place before. No one really bothered him, asking for autographs or giving him tips about the team, as they normally did. I told him more about Sam, and he told me more about the game from the perspective of someone who really, really knew what he was talking about. I thought I knew a lot about football, but I learned a ton. And I had never heard him talk so much before, either.
I felt a lot better after eating and having a margarita, and I got a text from Sam saying that he didn’t think it was that bad, and that the team had arranged for him to see some fancy doctor anyway and he was sure he’d get fixed right up. I wondered if he would care if he knew that Davis had been the one to set him up with the doctor. I smiled at Davis, happy that he’d done it, and he gave me his quirk of a smile back.
“Why’d you want that hula doll back so much?” he asked me.
“Didn’t I tell you that it was my grandpa’s?”
&
nbsp; “Yeah.”
“Well, that’s why,” I explained. “He meant a lot to me. He and my grandma were more like my parents than my mom, who is pretty much an idiot. We always said that one day the three of us, he and my grandma and I, we’d all go to Hawaii together. He loved it there when he was in the service. He wasn’t much for snow, so northern Michigan was pretty rough on him. But my grandma is from here, so he came up here for her. Isn’t that romantic?”
Davis shrugged. “Sure.”
“But he never got to go back to Hawaii. It wasn’t really in their plans, getting stuck with their granddaughter instead of retiring and traveling like he’d wanted to. He worked until the day he died so I could take dance, go to college.” I was getting all maudlin and I cleared my throat. “What he was really interested in was rocks. Isn’t that funny?”
“Rocks.”
“The whole garage is full of samples and books. He said he got the perfect granddaughter, because my eyes are like agates. You know, the rocks? When you cut them across they have rings of color. I have funny eyes, all different colors.” I forced myself to smile so I wouldn’t get weepy again, thinking about my grandpa.
Davis leaned forward and stared into my eyes. “Grey, and green, and brown.” We looked at each other for a long moment, our faces close. Then he sat back. “You do have pretty peepers.”
“Thank you. So do you.”
Davis rolled them. “How long have you been painting?”
I thought back. “I’ve always loved art. I guess I really got into it a few years ago, when…” When Julian died. “When I got into it,” I finished.
“Hm.”
I knew it hadn’t made sense so I hurried ahead. “It’s just a hobby, but I’m going to be in an art show down at the college. My former professor asked if I wanted to submit a few pieces.”
“That’s what you studied in school?”
I nodded slowly. “I have a BFA. I know, it was a stupid thing to do. I should have done economics or something, right?”
“I don’t know. I was a history major.”
“Really? So, if I were to question you about the War of 1812…”
“Fort McHenry. Battle of Lake Erie. Treaty of Ghent.”
I started to laugh. “I’m glad we went out to dinner. I had a really nice time.”
He smiled his sideways smile at me. I could fully understand why he kept making those hottest athlete lists. He made me feel kind of, jeez, all quivery.
On our way out to the car, I couldn’t stop myself from yawning. “I’m going to drop you off, then I’m going to go check on Sam at his apartment, then I’m sleeping like a log,” I said.
“Why do you have to go see him? I thought you weren’t interested.”
“My Lord, of course I’m not interested in Sam!” The thought made me feel a little ill. “I just want to make sure he’s all right.”
“Doesn’t he have anyone else to nurse him back to health?” Davis asked me.
“He has his common-law wife, Dotty, but I don’t trust her to do a very good job.” She couldn’t even remember to put on pants before she answered the door, or maybe that was how little she cared about things. “I’ll just see how he’s doing, maybe make some dinner if he hasn’t eaten yet. Their place is always such a mess, and I can’t imagine him lying there trying to get better when it’s like that. I’ll just scope it out.”
“It’s not your business,” Davis stated flatly. “Leave them alone. You don’t have to be the savior for everyone who walks by. Take a day off from the hero business, for once.”
My steps hitched. Was that what I did? Yeah, it kind of was. From Lindy to Sam to my grandma to the little girl today…to Davis. Was I making them let me manage them, fix their lives?
“Not everyone needs you as a caretaker,” he continued.
“Only you?” I asked, trying to sound light. “I’m only the caretaker for you, then?”
“That’s what I pay you for,” he told me.
Yep. That was true. That’s what we were, employer and employee. It shouldn’t have bothered me, him saying that. There was no reason for it to bother me, not at all. Why did I keep doing this? I kept trying to force him into a friendship, taking every somewhat nice thing he did, like suggesting we go to dinner, and turning it into some grand gesture. He was hungry, I was hungry, we went to eat. I drove Davis back to his house. “Thank you for dinner. See you tomorrow,” I said, staring out the windshield at the moon.
Davis made no move to get out of the car. “You pissed at me or something?”
I shook my head. “No. Good night.”
He waited another moment, then shrugged and hauled himself out of the car. He paused before he shut the door. “When is that art show?”
“Next weekend. It won’t interfere with me being your paid caretaker, so don’t worry.”
Davis didn’t answer. He shut the door, and I made myself drive away instead of watching to make sure he got inside all right.
∞
I realized I had been talking to Davis just like I talked to Julian at home. The difference was, Davis was there to answer me.
He was sitting on the couch, sweating after the workout he had put himself through, and watching game footage that one of the coaches had sent over to him. I was keeping myself busy and trying to keep myself from talking to him. I had no idea of all the random things I must have said to him throughout the day until I was actively stopping myself from spouting them out.
“Hey.”
I turned on my way back to the kitchen.
“My friend Gavin is coming into town,” Davis said. “He’ll stay here with me.”
I nodded sedately. “That will be nice.”
He was staring at me, his brow furrowed. “I thought you’d be all over that. You went crazy when Cesar came over to sail for an hour.”
“I’m trying to tone it down,” I explained. “I don’t want to overreach. Or over-involve myself, or whatever.”
Even without my interference, Sam’s back was better. He had seen Davis’ doctor the day after his injury and gotten a treatment plan for physical therapy. Whether or not he was going to be back for the next home game was still up in the air. Trish was still planning for him to be there, and if anyone could make it happen (through fear-inducing tactics or sheer force of will) it was Trish.
Davis just nodded. I went back into the kitchen, where I was making bread. I hadn’t done it in forever, since my kitchen was pretty small (and hot in the summer) and I was usually fairly busy, but I was trying to make enough for my grandma and for Davis. No matter if he wanted me to or not, I was making huge improvements in his diet. I pulled the last loaves out of the oven and inhaled. Julian had loved this kind, wheat raisin. It had been his favorite, and I hadn’t made it since…since Julian. I let the loaves cool on the counter and went back to my other tasks.
Davis was helping himself to a piece when I came back downstairs. “It smelled good,” he explained. “You made a lot.”
“I was going to take some over to my grandma. If that’s ok with you.”
“Sure. Are you going there now?”
“I’m not going to miss work or shortchange you.”
His lips tightened. “Let’s go.”
I stepped back in surprise. “What do you mean? You want to come over to the Lakeview Cottage too?”
“Is that a problem?”
“No,” I shook my head. “It will make my grandma’s day. Probably everyone else there, as well.” I gave him a sideways glance. “Why?”
“Why the hell not?” Davis asked me, and walked out into the driveway.
At first we didn’t talk in the car, then he burst out with, “You’ve been acting so fucking weird for the past few days, ever since we went out to dinner. I’m not the guy to guess your thoughts, so you’re just going to have to tell me what’s wrong with you. I never thought I’d have to tell you to talk, but here I am.”
Again, I was too surprised to speak for a minute. “I…I
was just trying not to encroach. I mean, I was thinking about what you said, about me visiting Sam and being the savior for everyone who walks by, and I’m trying not to push myself on you. On him, on anyone.”
Davis didn’t answer at first. “Remember when you first came into my house, and you started making me dinner? I never asked you to,” he commented finally.
“Exactly.” My cheeks burned. “I started playing the hero, like you said.”
“I had been sitting in my house for two days, by myself, out of my fucking mind. You just making dinner,” he stopped. “It was nice. I liked it. I wasn’t trying to make you stop helping people. I just didn’t want you to go over and clean up Sam’s entire apartment when you were about to fall down asleep. That’s what I meant. I don’t want you,” and he stopped again. “Shit. I don’t want you to help other people when it hurts you.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not good at saying this stuff.”
“No, that was good. I get it. Just so you know, I like doing things for other people. It’s nice for them, but it makes me feel really good, too. It’s not altruism.”
“Sure, it’s not.” He shook his head. “Whatever it is, I wasn’t trying to make you stop being the rat you always were.”
I burst out laughing. “I’ll always be a rat to you. It’s so delightful.”
Davis nodded. “My rat. Maybe now you’ll be my chipmunk.” I felt a big burst of happiness to hear him say that, which was just about the craziest thing in the world.
I wasn’t sure if anything as big as Davis Blake coming to visit had ever happened to the Lakeview Cottage retirement home. Literally, the place shut down when we walked in. Residents and aides stopped in their tracks and just stared. I waved, and Davis looked straight ahead as he always did, and we walked back to see my grandma.
She was reading one of the large-print books I got her from the library. “Hey, Grammy,” I said, smiling. “Look who’s here.” She looked up and her eyes got as big as saucers.
Before she could even respond to me, Mrs. Lusk stepped in. “Only one visitor at a time is allowed in our rooms. Those are the rules.”
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