“But Mrs. Lusk, this is…ok. Davis, if you go down the hall to the left, that’s the common room. We’ll meet you there in a minute.” He nodded and left and my grammy flipped her lid, as she liked to say.
“Katriona Parker Bell! Katriona. Parker. Bell! Davis Blake!”
“I think his middle name is Jonathan if you want to use that,” I said helpfully.
“You brought him here? You brought Davis Blake here without any warning? Davis Blake, in the Lakeview Cottage? Katriona Parker Bell!”
I was helping her into her chair. “He wanted to come meet you. It was his suggestion.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” she muttered. “Davis Blake.”
Davis was surrounded in the common room, signing autographs for the residents, their children, their grandchildren. A lot of people there had gone through knee surgeries (replacements, mostly) and they all had advice for him about his recovery and questions about how he was doing. He was handling it quite well, but eventually, I put my arm through his and drew him away. “Davis will come again,” I told everyone.
My grandma was like me, in that she wasn’t usually tongue-tied. Right now, however, she appeared to be at a bit of a loss.
“Davis, this is my grandmother, Louise Bell. Grammy, this is Davis Blake.”
“Mr. Blake,” she said regally, inclining her head.
“Mrs. Bell,” he answered. “It’s a pleasure.”
“Here,” I said, reaching into my bag for the loaf of bread I’d wrapped up for her. Food was always a good icebreaker.
“Mmm,” my grandma said, inhaling. “It smells delicious. Mrs. Lusk will have a fit. She claims to be allergic to raisins.”
“From what Katie says, she seems like a—a not very pleasant roommate,” Davis finished.
“She is a word that starts with B and rhymes with itch, and that’s the God’s honest,” my grandma told him. “Please, call me Louise.”
“I’m Davis, then.” He suddenly grinned, and every woman in the room, no matter her age, just about swooned.
“Katie-bug, I hope you didn’t broil yourself to death making this in our old oven,” Grammy said.
“Oh, no, I cook at Davis’ house. He has the nicest kitchen.”
“And then I get to eat everything,” Davis put in. “I look forward to everything that Katie makes.” My, he could turn on the charm when he wanted.
My grandma was absolutely beaming at him. “I don’t think you’ve made this kind since—” she broke off.
“Yep,” I said, and turned to Davis. “Tell my grandma about the locker room. She’s always curious.”
“Katie, you make me sound like I have a filthy mind. But really, Davis,” she said, leaning forward, “I would like to know.”
I went to get her some water after a while, but I wasn’t necessary to the conversation at all. They were getting along like a house on fire. Davis had asked her about growing up in northern Michigan, and how it had changed, and she had plenty to say.
When I came back to sit down, they were discussing my grandpa. Then Davis said, “I’m sorry about his car. I didn’t realize it had such sentimental value.”
“Why would you be sorry?” Grammy asked him.
When Davis opened his mouth, I butted in. “He’s sorry it broke down. That’s what he means.” No reason to tell her about his part in it, not when they were getting along so well.
“Katie and I have to be able to let go of things. The things don’t make the memories, right, Bug?” I nodded. “It was just such a hard time, all those losses. First my husband, then Julian. Poor Katie,” my grandma lamented, and took my hand.
“Your fiancé dumped you when your grandfather died?” Davis asked. “What a jack…bad thing to do.”
Oh, Lord. I should have told him.
“Davis, Julian didn’t break things off with Katie,” my grandma explained gently. “He passed away. He had been sick for many years, and shortly after my husband died, Julian did as well.”
Davis didn’t say anything at first. I studied the plastic mats on the tabletop. Why hadn’t I told him?
“I didn’t know that,” he finally said. “From what Katie has said, I assumed they broke up.”
My grandma gave me a strange look. “Julian was crazy about Katie. He depended on her for almost everything. Her whole life revolved around taking care of him.”
“That’s not true,” I said, my voice a little too loud. “I took care of him and lived my life also. Anyway, he was part of everything, Grammy. You know that. You didn’t expect me to run away from him just because things weren’t perfect.”
My grandma leaned forward. “Katie-bug, don’t you…” She stopped and looked at Davis. “Well, it was a sad chapter.”
“I need to get over to the stadium soon,” I announced. “So, Davis, I should drive you home.” I bent and kissed my grandmother’s cheek. “Text me later.”
“I will. It was nice to meet you, Davis.”
He nodded at her. “I’ll see you again soon.”
I kind of expected him to be angry, so I tried to head things off. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Julian,” I said quickly, as we left the Lakeview. “I let you think we broke up. I just didn’t want to get into a long explanation.”
Davis shrugged. “You don’t have to tell me anything. No explanation needed. Let’s go, so you’re not pissing in your pants about being late.” He shut the car door so hard, it almost came off the hinges.
Great.
Chapter 9
Maybe we did need some explanations, because he was pretty upset.
“Davis—”
“I feel like an idiot,” he burst out. “A real fucking idiot. How many times have I said something to you about your fiancé? And this whole time, he was…”
“Dead. It’s ok to say it.” I took a deep breath. “Every time someone hears that, everything gets weird. It was kind of refreshing, really, for you to be making fun of him. No one can do that anymore.”
“Still makes me an asshole.”
“No, it doesn’t. But I should have told you. Honestly, it always changes everything when people know. Even my old friends act strange.” I sighed. “Julian and I started dating when I was a freshman. We were together the whole time I was in school. He was doing well, and then, by the end of his senior year, he wasn’t. He couldn’t go away to college.”
“Is that why you didn’t go away to college either?”
I focused on the road. “There were a lot of reasons. Julian was one of them. I stayed here and started school, and after he died, I had a hard time. My grandma needed me, too. I couldn’t leave.”
“When did you get engaged?”
“Right near the end.” My throat got a little tight. “He never thought…I mean, he knew what was coming, but he thought he would have more time. He wanted to get married, for us to have a baby.” I took another breath, but it was all shuddering. I pressed my lips together so they wouldn’t tremble. I jumped when Davis put his hand on the back of my neck. He rubbed with his fingers, and I relaxed a little. “It’s not hard to talk about him, not about all the good stuff. It’s a relief, really. No one wants to hear his name, or they act all strange, like they’re waiting for me to fall apart. Of course, here I am, getting worked up while I tell you, so maybe they’re right.” I laughed a little. It sounded angry to me. “I still feel sad when I think about him fighting, wanting to live. He was so young. He kept saying he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave me.” I let go of the wheel with one hand and wiped my eyes.
“I can understand that.” He kept rubbing gently.
“It was pretty rough, for a while. My grandma was a mess after my grandpa died, and that was so sudden. Then Julian. Then she fell, again, and I was trying to take care of her. Ugh, I don’t know why I’m saying all this.” I wiped my cheeks again. “Sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before about Julian and I made you feel like a jer
k. I’m sorry I’m crying because it makes everyone upset when I get upset. I have to stay calm or, you know.”
“So what?” Davis asked me. “What do you care if you make people upset?”
I leaned into his hand. “That feels good. Thank you.”
We pulled into Davis’ driveway.
“I was thinking I should have people here. When Gavin comes.” He took his hand away, and I missed it.
“You mean, like a party? For your friend?”
Davis nodded. “What do you think?”
I got very excited. “Sure! Can I help?”
He chuffed a laugh. “It’s more your line than it is mine. Yes, I would need your help. You could invite your friends, too.”
“Really?” I started to smile. “Are you sure? You didn’t want to have people over, before.”
“Yeah, well.” He shrugged.
“Davis, I have to tell you something else. Remember when you told me not to invite friends over? Well, I did have my friend Lindy over again after you said it. But it was only to help me clean, because your house was a pigsty, and it was going to be really hard to get it done on my own. And also because she really needed the money.”
“I don’t remember paying her.”
“Well, no, I paid her, but I said it was from you. It wasn’t like I was just inviting her over to hot tub or something, but I didn’t ask you because I thought you would say no. Sorry.”
“I would have said no.”
I nodded.
He opened the door to the car. “Figure out who you want to have. Make one of your lists.”
“Ok. Hey, I’m going to come back after practice to make dinner. I put something in the fridge for you to heat up but it didn’t turn out as well as I wanted.”
Davis leaned into the car. “I guess I’ll see you soon.”
I nodded again back at him. He sure would.
∞
“Seriously? Logan and I are invited to a party at Davis Blake’s house? Seriously?” Lindy sat forward in her chair, eyes wide.
“I was thinking more that you might like to cater it,” I told her. “It wouldn’t be a big deal, just dinner, appetizers. It’s going to be on a Tuesday, so that’s a little strange, but it works best with the players’ schedules.”
Lindy leaned back in her chair. “Katie, seriously?”
“What have I done to indicate that I was lying? Could you do it? It’s not much time to plan it, but it won’t be anything huge. We’re going to be outside, maybe it could be all grilled things.”
“This could be our big break, Katie. You could be giving us our big break for our business!”
“Lindy! It’s just one dinner. But I talked to Davis, and he’s good to go. So if you want to…”
She ran around the table and hugged me. “Yes! Of course, yes!”
We had met up for a quick dinner later that week, just the two of us, no husband or bad blind dates included. It was fun to talk to her alone, without Logan there. I liked him, but since she had gotten married—really, since they had become a serious couple—I hadn’t seen much of Lindy, just Lindy alone. We spent a while menu planning for Davis’ party, and talking about what we would do in case of bad weather, but September had been beautiful so far and I was hoping that it lasted.
I told her about Davis meeting my grandma, and how I told him about Julian.
“You did?” Her eyebrows raised. “I didn’t think you liked to talk about him.”
I shrugged. “It’s hard, because it makes everyone so uncomfortable. I’m ok, I really am, but when I talk about him, everyone runs at me with the tissue boxes and then makes an excuse to leave. It makes me tired, people not knowing how to deal with me. So I hadn’t told Davis, but now I’m glad that I did. He was very cool about the whole thing. Now I feel like I can say things, like remember how I taught Julian to swim butterfly, and how ridiculous he looked? For some reason that came up.” I smiled, remembering.
“Davis doesn’t care? Like, he’s not jealous?” Lindy asked me.
“Why would he be jealous?”
“If I were talking to Logan about some guy I was engaged to, all my fun memories with him, I’m sure that wouldn’t feel too good to him.”
I stared at her. “Lindy, Logan is your husband. This isn’t the same thing.”
“So you and Davis don’t have anything going on?”
“Are you serious? Besides working for him, no, there’s nothing going on.” It made me feel weird, when she said it. Of course there wasn’t anything between me and Davis.
“Ok, so what about you and Mason Whitaker? You never said another word about him.”
Honestly, Mason had kind of gone out of my thoughts. “He was away, then I was busy with the home game. He’s coming to the art show this weekend and then we’re going out to dinner. So there!”
Lindy made a face. “You don’t have to go out with him to prove something to me. Here’s the real test: are you going to shave?”
“Yes. It’s the art show and I’m wearing a dress, so shaving my legs will be involved.”
“Are you going to shave other regions?”
“If you mean armpits, then yes, again. That’s as much as I’m telling you.”
She shook her head sadly. “It’s not serious with Mason, then.”
“Oh, my Lord! Just because I’m not planning any additional grooming of my so-called other regions, doesn’t mean I don’t like Mason,” I admonished her.
“It means you’re not going to sleep with him!”
She said it very loudly. Several other tables turned to look at us.
“No, I’m not going to sleep with him, not on the second date,” I hissed.
“What’s your number, then? Three? Five?” she challenged me. “A hundred?”
“When the time is right, then I’ll sleep with him. Maybe. Happy?” I took a big sip of ice water.
“You need to jump back into the sex game. How long has it been?”
Way, way too long. “I’m not thinking of Mason that way,” I explained. “We’re just having fun right now.”
“Can’t you have fun in the bedroom?” she asked, her question clear over the murmur of conversation in the restaurant.
“Again, too loud! Lower your voice.” Sweet Jesus.
“Ok,” Lindy told me. “We’re going to play word association to figure out your life. Ready?”
“No,” I said.
“Your answer to ‘ready’ is ‘no?’ Katie Bell, you have issues.”
“Ok,” I sighed, “fine. I’m ready now.”
“Mason.”
“Car,” I said automatically. Lindy frowned. “Fun,” I revised.
“That’s better,” she congratulated me. “Lindy.”
“Friend,” I answered quickly.
“Best friend,” she corrected.
“Wait, are there right answers?” I asked her. “I wasn’t aware of that. Am I being graded?”
“That one was wrong. And yes, you are being graded. Focus, please. Grandma Louise.”
“Love.” Easy.
“Julian.”
“Gone.” I got an ache in my chest. “I know he is, Lindy. I’m trying, ok?”
“I know,” she said softly. “And you know what? I think you’re doing great, too. I’m very proud of you for putting yourself out there, trying these dates with me and Logan’s terrible friends, seeing Mason.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at her.
“Davis,” Lindy said suddenly.
“Sex,” I blurted out.
“I knew it!” she crowed loudly. “I knew you wanted to have sex with him!”
Every damn person in the restaurant turned to stare at us this time and I wanted to crawl under the tablecloth.
“I’m right with you there, Katie. I’m actually wearing Logan out. He said that if I wake him up at night again, he’s going to have to start sleeping on the couch. Not that he isn’t enjoying my attentions, because you know that thing I told you about, the move I do with m
y tongue? I taught you that, right?” She had, a very lewd demonstration with a banana. “But Logan’s having a hard time staying awake at work.”
I had my face in my hands. “Please don’t tell me these things about Logan. Every time I’ve seen him since you told me that thing about how his penis is shaped, I just stare at his crotch.”
“I wish you could see what I’m talking about in person. It’s so hard to describe how it—”
“Just so we’re clear,” I informed her, “I don’t want to have sex with Davis.”
“You must be the only woman in the country. As devoted as I am to my husband…”
I glared at her. “Don’t finish that thought.”
“See? See how you can be jealous? I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that Davis doesn’t like hearing about Julian. One thousand smackeroos.”
I got mad. “Fine, Lindy, one more person I can’t talk to. Happy?”
“Katie, I’m kidding! And I hope you know that you can talk about Julian to me. I was there, remember? I was there when you met, and when you found out he was sick, and when he was dying. I may act weird, but that’s just how I always am. It’s not particular to hearing about Julian.”
“You’re a good friend,” I said. “Even if you don’t have a clear idea of what an inside voice sounds like.”
“Sex,” Lindy said loudly, and we both cracked up.
I was extremely nervous before the art show the next night. It wasn’t a sale, it was just a display, and I didn’t even have to be there if I didn’t want to be. It was just a promotional kind of thing for the art department at Emelia Schaub College, not a big deal at all.
Still. This felt very big to me. I didn’t have a huge problem dancing around on TV, but showing my art was different. The only people who had really ever seen anything I had done (outside of school assignments) were my grandparents and Julian, but these particular paintings hadn’t ever even been outside of my house before. They were pretty personal. I rubbed my palms on my skirt as my old professor, Dr. Wharton, approached.
She gave me a big hug. “Thank you for doing this, Katie. I’m thrilled to display your work.”
“Thank you for inviting me to do it.” Why had I done this? What was I thinking? I felt myself starting to sweat a little, and fanned myself with one of the show programs. I went over to my grandma, who was staring at some sculptures that looked like melted leaves.
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