“Well, that’s a first. The great and powerful Seth Burns at a loss for what to do…. Never thought I’d live to see the day,” Mel chided.
“Don’t,” Seth snapped. He stopped long enough to glower at his best friend since college before resuming his attempt to wear a path in the floor. Though there was a large age difference, thanks to Seth starting college at fifteen, they had become fast friends and would do anything for each other. “You know how brittle some creative types are, Mel. James was abused, used, raped, and even when he escaped he just ended up in the hands of the ass that landed him in the hospital. I didn’t manage to get the story of Victor out of him. I’ve never seen that level of pain and fear before.”
“Sorry, man,” Mel replied. Leaning forward to brace his forearms on his knees, he looked Seth over and frowned. “Is he really worth all this energy and worry? You don’t usually get so attached, especially so quickly.”
Seth knew what he was usually like, thank you very much. He knew he did not usually get overly attached to his relationships, but James was different. For the first time in longer than he wanted to contemplate, he wanted to keep a partner, and not just for a short while. He wasn’t sure how it happened, especially with how short a time they had known each other, but he felt his heart was no longer fully his own. After the revelation, he’d waited for fear and worry to consume him, but it never manifested. What had appeared was longing and concern.
“Ha. He doesn’t believe that he is worth the energy and worry, but I do. I have never been so drawn to anyone.” Seth knew he probably sounded like one of Mel’s teenaged daughters mooning over some boy, but there was something about James that called to him in a way he couldn’t resist and did not want to, honestly.
“What about his family? Maybe one of them could help you find a way past James’s fears,” Mel replied with a shrug.
“His little brother is best friends, still, with the psycho, Tyler. James said he told his mother what happened back then and instead of helping him she condemned him for being a pervert and wanting to have sex with a man. His brother went so far as to claim that he lied because his buddy spurned James’s advances.
“He never spoke of his father, though I know he’s still alive and with his mom. I’m wondering about their relationship or lack thereof, considering.”
“Hey, man. Don’t give up yet. You remember how hard it was with Britt? But with your help, I managed to get past her fears and look how happy we’ve been since! We have three beautiful children and we are still very much together and in love. If your James is really this important and special to you, you’ll find a way and I’ll back you, you know that.”
Seth understood what Mel was saying, especially considering what he went through to win Britt. She hadn’t gone through the same things, but still, she had been afraid to open up and get involved with Mel when they met. Even back then, he had been good at figuring people out. He just needed to find the key to his pet; that was all.
JAMES had been nervous since Seth had mentioned two days prior they needed to visit her, but then Tyler had made his agonizing appearance and thrown everything out of form and sequence. God, he hated that man, not that Ty had ever cared what he thought or felt. They were headed for a meeting at Britt’s gallery.
Once Seth parked the car, he went around the front and opened the door politely, extending a hand to offer assistance if James needed. The pavement shimmered from the rain that had only stopped falling about ten minutes prior to Seth’s arrival. He still felt a little weird about the whole door thing, but he couldn’t deny that it also gave him a little thrill and made him feel like maybe he was something special to Seth. He hoped he was. He stood and got settled with his forearm crutches, then leaned enough to bump his shoulder to Seth’s. Again, he wondered why they were here and about Seth’s persistent silence since he’d picked him up from his cottage. He didn’t seem upset or angry, he just seemed lost in thought.
“Seth, back up a little, please. You’re too close and I can see the oil sheen on the surface here. I would really rather not land on my ass tonight. Besides, I’m sure you can think of better uses for it than that,” he teased with a wink. He wanted to get some kind of reaction from his slightly withdrawn lover.
“Ha, ha, ha. Sorry about that, baby. I’m still learning the range you need. And yes, I can think of much better ways to treat that sexy backside of yours,” Seth said and patted the backside in question, then backed up a little.
“Come on, Britt is expecting you. Actually, she has a few people she wants you to meet so put on your happy face and let’s go.”
“People?” What does he mean people?
Seth cupped his cheek, brushed it with his thumb. Leaning in, he kissed James softly, with just enough pressure to ignite a flame but not enough to consume either of them. “Take a deep breath, pet. She had a request from someone who wants to purchase one of the paintings you contracted with her to sell. He wants to meet the artist, and considering the amount he’s paying, she consented to call and arrange a meeting. She didn’t tell me who the buyer is but the more exposure you get, the better your salability.”
“Not to sound rude or ungrateful, but why tell you instead of me if it’s my meeting?”
“Timing. I stopped by to see her and Mel and she mentioned it. Plus, you have been so stressed the last few days; I thought a surprise would be welcome.”
“Thank you, I think,” James mumbled and continued inside, Seth opening the gallery door for him, of course. Once inside, James looked around for Brittany Holcomb. Her voice found him before he saw her.
“James,” she chirped. “Wonderful to see you again. I have someone I want to introduce you to, though Seth knows him already.”
“Oh, okay. Lead the way.”
“I do?” Seth asked. He seemed puzzled, which was an odd look for him in James’s opinion.
“Well, you ought to know me, hun” came a strong yet lilting voice. James turned to see the owner of said voice and was surprised to see a short, rather pretty man step around Brittany. He was about five-six or so, light caramel-colored skin, with dark black hair that was streaked a vibrant cherry red. He had delicate, almost fey-like features and a huge smile.
“Zach? You’re the mystery buyer Britt’s been raving about?” Seth asked as the small, excitable man hugged him.
With a bright smile and a wink, Zach turned to face James. “Zachariah Summer Macey, at your service, Mr. Bryant. Everyone calls me Zach. Britt, isn’t she a sweetie, says you’re the artist of the work I want to buy. I’m hoping she’s right ’cuz I also want to commission some work both for the hotels Seth’s company is building and for a couple of other clients as well.
“Oh, have you told him about the hotels yet, Seth? I just saw the marketing designs and branding and I just love it!”
James was stunned and not completely sure how to respond when his internal confusion was disrupted by Seth’s booming laugh.
“Zachy, dear, take a deep breath. Seriously, you need to do your research before you go opening that little mouth of yours,” Seth teased him. James felt a sudden pang at their playful banter. Was this one of Seth’s previous lovers?
With an adorable pout Zach looked at Seth and grumped, “What? You’re the one who decided to personally oversee the start of the project after that Neanderthal, Mark, botched the original design. What’d I say? I told you not to hire that loudmouthed—”
“Zach,” Seth interrupted. “Quiet for a minute, please. James is the artist that designed the branding you just squealed about to him.”
“And he’s the artist you requested to meet and you just bought three of his paintings,” Brittany added with a little giggle.
“Um, if I’m the artist he wants to meet then shouldn’t I get to say hello at some point?” James asked, struggling not to laugh too hard. He didn’t want to offend the bouncy little man, but it was too funny.
“Yes,” Zach said, shooing the others away with a wave of his hands.
“I’m here to meet the delicious artist boy here, not to be picked on by you two corporate-drone types.”
Seth seemed to sober when Zach said delicious, making James wonder again, why. “Zach,” Seth snapped. His tone turned to that powerful, commanding one that so excited James, even though he disliked his own reaction to it.
“Seth,” James murmured and gently touched Seth’s arm. “He was just teasing, not coming on to me. Relax, please.”
“Sorry, pet. I’ll go speak with Britt while you and Zach talk.” He then turned and offered his arm to Brittany, and they left the two of them alone.
“I didn’t mean to upset the big man,” Zach mumbled as he watched the two leave. “But, I should have known better than to tease you like that. He’s always too territorial with his pets,” he added with a sigh. “Any who…. You’re amazing, man! I just bought three of your paintings and I want to commission a few more, though it’s a little weird that you’re also the graphic designer that did the branding and all. Huh. Britt should have told me. Oh well. Look, Jay. Can I call you Jay? Right. Look, you’re not the only artist I’ve picked, but your art is so passionate and raw; I want more of your stuff. Since Seth didn’t know it was me who wanted to meet you, he didn’t tell you who I am. I’m on retainer with him and a few other corporations for interior design. Oh, here,” Zach continued, completely overwhelming James in the process. He quickly whipped out a bright pink business card, then continued rambling. “I’ll also need to know about prints versus the original artwork for display, sizes you are comfortable working with, oh, and mediums. I know you do fabu oils and Britt says your oils and acrylic mixed work is just as delish, but….”
As their discussion wound down, Zach threw him again. “Now that that’s all settled, you just have to tell me about you and Seth. I’ve been looking but I don’t see any bindings on you or even any normal marks. He called you pet, so I’m assuming you two are together, right?”
Trying to process everything the man said, he was suddenly very nervous. They seemed to know each other well, so what did Zach mean about binding and marks? “How do you mean, Zach?” he asked, his voice cracked partway through.
“You know, you’re not wearing a collar, cuffs, or anything I can see. Your one wrist is a little bruised, but since there isn’t a matching one, that doesn’t make sense,” Zach explained excitedly.
“Why would I have any of those things, much less because of Seth? He’s been very sweet and kind to me since we met.” James couldn’t control the rolling in his stomach at the words and images going through his mind. Was there something about Seth he needed to know, to run from?
James heard the door creak open more but was too focused on what Zack was saying to care who it might be.
“Pets are marked, silly. Wow, you must be really new if you don’t know that. Never mind,” Zach said, waving away the last bit of conversation.
Before he could continue talking, Seth was beside James, his hand on James’s lower back. Holding up his hand to Zach in a shushing motion, he leaned in and murmured softly, “Shhh, baby. Calm down.”
James tried to focus and calm but all he could think of was why Zach thought he should have bruises. He wanted to leave, now, but knew he didn’t have a chance of out maneuvering Seth. He also knew he trembled slightly but was doing his best to hide his fears.
“Zach, I would appreciate you sticking to work-related topics with James. You are completely out of line, and you know it,” Seth demanded. Zach seemed to shrink a little at both the words and tone Seth had used. “Just because you enjoy pain does not mean everyone does. Now, are you two finished with everything?”
Brittany took Zach off to finish their part of the transaction—the work was being commissioned through her gallery after all—and Seth led James to a small office area. Once seated, Seth took James’s hand and played with his fingers gently, careful of the silver ring splints, while he waited for James to speak. He had learned that pushing too hard was the opposite of helpful if he wanted James to talk. After a few interminably long minutes, James spoke, though he didn’t look up and his voice was soft. “Why would your, um, friend think I should have a collar or bruises? He’s one of your exes, isn’t he? You did those things with him?”
Taking a deep breath, James blinked, trying to keep back the tears that threatened to fall. He quickly took out his cell and sent the rescue message Chase had programmed into his cell ages ago, only adding “@ gallery” to the end. He didn’t let Seth see the text.
Seth quirked a brow at James’s cell but said nothing. Slowly, he extended his right hand to caress James’s cheek before using his fingers to carefully lift James’s face up. His gentle confidence showed in both his voice and motions. “Yes. Zach and I were involved many years ago, but it was more friends with benefits than a true relationship. You have no need to fear your place with me, baby.
“As to the collar and bruises, I do tend to gift my partners with tokens that show who they are with, but Zach is much more into the public BDSM world than I ever was and sees the tokens as required. You have no need to worry about the bruises he mentioned. Zach’s a pain slut, and proudly so, but he tends to see others from his own point of view. I will never cause you harm, not that he saw his bruises as harm.”
“I don’t understand, Seth. Why would you hurt him? How long before you decide to hurt me too? I can’t allow that again, you know that. You swore I was safe with you!”
“You are safe, baby, but here is not really the place to have in-depth discussions of sexual practices and flavors of various people.” Placing a calming hand on his lower back, Seth met his eyes and smiled gently. “I will speak with Britt and Zach and then we can leave. I promise to answer any questions you have once we are settled.” Seth then bent to kiss James’s forehead before leaving him in the private office.
James waited, hoping Chase would be quick. He knew he would have to eventually talk to Seth about all of this, but he needed time to decide how to deal with what he had learned. Seth was violent, sexually, with a previous lover and obviously had no remorse for his actions. How could he trust Seth not to turn on him eventually? The term pet had already bothered him some, but in context with the term collar, it added a whole new level of nerves and fear. He’d gone through the whole thing of Victor thinking he owned him—he never wanted to deal with that again.
Just as he began to panic that Seth would return and want to leave, a new text popped up. Chase was outside, waiting. James quickly got himself together and headed toward the doors, hoping to meet Chase before the others came back for him.
Once he was in Chase’s car, he sent Seth a text. » I need time. Sorry. «
“I’m assuming that since you had me pick you up and that Seth didn’t follow you out, that you need away from him for some reason. So, your place or mine?” Chase asked lightly. James knew his best friend wouldn’t push for more information yet. One of his more endearing qualities, really.
“I’ll explain later but yours, please. Seth will try going to mine, I’m sure. I just need space and time right now. Thanks, Chase. You’re my hero,” he added with as much camp as he could muster.
By the time they reached Chase’s apartment, Seth had tried to call and had sent texts in an attempt to get James to talk to him. James was tempted, but ended up resending his original text, then turned off his phone for the night.
Chapter 8
SETH had called and sent texts, to no avail, after James left the gallery with Chase. Though watching taillights disappear was no comfort to him, he had seen who picked James up, thankfully, or he would have gone out of his mind with worry. About two and a half hours later, his phone chirped with a new text message.
»This is Chase. I managed to sneak James’s cell long enough to get your #. Hope it’s ok. We need to talk. Don’t call, just type.«
Seth read the message over, wondering why Chase was contacting him like this, but was hopeful that maybe Chase might be the key to getting through to his a
ntsy lover.
»Hello, Chase. James ok?«
»Upset but ok. He’s sleeping right now. What happened that got him so freaked?«
»This conversation would be best in person. Voice at least. Meet me?«
»James will be pissed if he wakes up.«
»Leave a note that you ran out for a few minutes. We need to talk.«
»IDK…«
»For James?«
»Fine. Meet me @ The Buzz in 30«
»Agreed. Thank you.«
Seth quickly grabbed his keys and wallet from the table where he had thrown them down when he came in. He had been so upset he’d nearly thrown them across the room. He was even less certain that he could overcome James’s past so they could have a future together after what happened earlier that evening. Damn Zach! Damn Victor! And damn, to the lowest pits of Hades, Tyler!
“DON’T mistake his fear and such for weakness. Or his lack of family as a lack of support.” Of all the things Chase had said during their “conference,” that was the part that kept replaying the most, especially late at night while he was failing miserably to sleep. How could James’s own family have subjected him to so much? How could he help James past the pain and fear so they could truly explore more together? Seth wanted so much more than just James’s body, delicious though it was. He wanted James’s heart and soul too.
It had taken Seth, working with Chase, a full three weeks to break down enough of the wall James had erected between them before he would agree to see him again. It had been an insanely long three weeks. Tonight, James had agreed to have dinner with him again, but the conditions grated on his nerves. They were to have dinner at Chase’s apartment. James was cooking, though he had no idea what, and Chase would be there as a layer of protection for James. Or, that’s how James probably saw it. James still didn’t know about Chase meeting him or all the texting and calls that had happened over the last few weeks.
Designs of Desire Page 7