Sweet Nothings

by Daria Doshrelli

  “You again?” Avery’s words and the accompanying scowl snapped Tad out of his study.

  Claire waved at the pirate crew. “Hello.”

  “At last, another woman,” Nadie said, returning her knife to her ivory boot. “You’ve no idea what it’s like being me.” She flashed her brother a certain look. “You’re not running her off. I need female conversation, for once.” Her eyes landed on the prince. “Oh…hello,” she said in a blush.

  The prince smiled and held up his hand in salutation. “Thank you,” he said rather awkwardly with a nod at Nadie’s fresh kill. Very suddenly, he bowed to her. “Prince Henry of Lumares.”

  The blush on Nadie’s cheeks spread clear to her ears.

  Captain Avery shook his head at the exchange, but his retort was cut short as hisses and moans arose all around. The pirates went for their swords. The prince pulled a dagger from a sheath at his hip. Everybody froze and turned their eyes toward a hole at the base of a tree that had begun to vibrate.

  Chapter 9

  Four little red, horned heads poked out of the hole in the ground.

  “Ah!” Tad cried. “There’s more of them. Quick, captain, your sword.”

  Claire’s form appeared in front of him, hands on hips, eyes narrowed. “The poor things. We’ve killed their mother and now you want to murder them, too? What have they ever done to you?”

  He tried to see around her. “They’re ferocious beasts.”

  “They’re innocent creatures. I’m sure their mother only attacked because we came too near her nest.”

  A winged, red varmint landed on Claire’s shoulder, oversized, clawed feet bouncing as it clucked and shook its feathers. She rotated her eyeballs toward it without moving her head. The creature’s throat emitted a vibrating sound. It rubbed its beak against her cheek.

  “You see what you’ve done?” Tad scowled at the monster that looked exactly like an eagle except for those dragon-like wings and the knobby horns on its head. “It probably thinks you’re its new mother. What if it follows us while we’re trying to break the princess’s curse?”

  The creature sniffed at Claire’s hair.

  “He is perfectly harm—Ouch!” The thing had nibbled her ear with its curved beak. She wagged her finger at it, which it also bit. “Stop that.”

  “Did I not tell you—”

  “He’s just hungry,” Claire snapped, eyes ablaze.

  “Yes, I know. We were supposed to be dinner,” Tad shot back, eyeing the rock the mother had used in her attempt to squash them. “Ground meat, by the looks of it.”

  The creature on Claire’s shoulder swooped onto the trunk of the tree nearest her, where it clawed its way up to a branch and snatched a round bud dangling within a sheaf of leaves. It hopped to the ground, treasure in tow, and scurried back into its hole.

  “I believe we have just discovered the legendary roc,” Claire said in a studious tone.

  “The what?” Tad asked.

  Nadie appeared at Claire’s side, peering at the hole at the base of the tree. “A roc? You say that like it’s a good thing.”

  Claire inclined her head inquisitively and said with perfect composure, “I’d like to study him.”

  Tad was more convinced than ever that his newest helper was a lunatic. “It just tried to eat you. Do be logical.”

  “It’s a scientific inquiry and I am not afraid of a few claws and a healthy appetite.”

  Said by the girl that had not been on his first case. “We have work to do and your experiments will have to wait.”

  “Did somebody say something about a cursed princess?” Avery leaned over the dead creature. He gave it a nudge with the heel of his boot. “It’s a roc, all right. And that means we had better take shelter back on the ship.”

  “Wait a minute, cap’n,” the one called Basset said. Tad imagined he knew the origin of this pirate’s name. The short, stout legs and slight waddle did remind him of a certain species of hound. “With rocs about, goin’ back to the ship’d be like puttin’ ourselves on a platter and ringin’ the dinner bell. Best to set up camp here on the island.”

  Tad’s eyes drifted up to the sky and saw with immeasurable dismay that the sun was no longer visible overhead. “You heard right, Captain Avery. Princess Arabella of Lumares has been cursed to life as a siren here on this island, though for what purpose I don’t know. We suspect a rogue fairy godmother is involved.” He swiveled his head to his regal acquaintance. “And is my assistant’s conjecture true as well? Prince Henry is deaf?”

  “What?” A smile slowly spread over Avery’s stunned expression. “You devil.” The pirate captain slapped his thigh and belted out a throaty laugh. “All these years and I never suspected…” He crooked his arm and swept his enemy a low bow. “My hat is off to you, sir.” Only he wasn’t wearing a hat.

  Prince Henry passed him a weary look.

  “How remarkable.” Nadie smiled at her hereditary nemesis, the kind of smile that sent many an older brother to an early grave. But the she-pirate failed to notice the swords-at-dawn look Avery fired at Prince Henry. “To have headed up the royal fleet and survived here in the Aeorus without the ability to hear. No matter what you say, brother, I don’t regret saving his life.”

  The prince did not hear, but his lips curved into a grin. He was also too entranced to perceive the pirate captain’s silent missives.

  “Aye, Nadie, finally a man who won’t be turned off by that screech of a voice of yours and its woeful moaning,” Avery said, his evil looks having been returned to sender unopened.

  “Aw, it’s a lovely voice,” one of Avery’s men said, and what might have been a blush filled his cheeks. “It’s a pity, being unable to hear it, but a man can still appreciate a beautiful smile.”

  “He can read lips,” Claire said. She, too, stared unabashedly at the prince.

  “Arr, a good excuse to stare at hers then,” one of the pirates said. The others roared with laughter.

  The prince, who had observed not a word of this exchange, swept a mute expression around his snickering audience.

  Ladies must be unavoidably attracted to handsome, brave, and royal sorts, but this particular prince could never speak sweet words to soothe a woman’s soul. What few syllables he had uttered were garbled and not romantic at all. Tad refused to envy him a whit.

  “But don’t get any ideas.” Avery’s eyebrows drew down as he regarded the prince. “As you can see, my sister is a pirate, and as you know, the lot of us does not throw in with the lot of you.”

  “You will work together if you wish to even see the treasure you seek. The siren guards the loot, or rather, she is using it as bait until someone gets close enough for her to lure with her song.” Tad’s hands moved to his neck and rubbed at the places where the she-beast’s claws had scratched him. “After that it’s all over, unless you’re a woman, apparently.”

  Avery smacked Basset on the shoulder. “I told you the legends were true. Nadie can distract the beast while the rest of us make off with her treasure.” He looked at Tad. “And where might we find this cursed princess of yours, little fellow?”

  Tad’s grumpy face emerged. “You are not going to steal from her. You are going to uncurse her since she is your true love.”

  Sniggers and snorts went round Avery’s crew. Nadie leaned forward and grabbed her sides, howling in amusement while Prince Henry watched her.

  “Unfortunately, there is nothing funny about the situation,” Tad said. “The prince here has just been plotting to rid the world of her song.”

  The laughter ceased as everyone looked at the would-be assassin.

  “Going to murder your future wife?” Avery asked. “And just how were you planning to do away with her?”

  The prince pulled a scrap of parchment and a stick of charcoal from his breast pocket. He scratched something out and handed the parchment to the pirate captain.

  “Must cut out her heart,” Avery mumbled as his eyes scanned it. He turned up one corner of hi
s mouth and met Prince Henry’s stone cold gaze. “And you accuse us of being savages.”

  Prince Henry’s lips puckered up, but his eyes shifted to the pirate girl.

  Nadie smiled at him. “I think that means he doesn’t want to do it,” she said and the pair stood and stared at each other for several moments. “He has no choice. Princess or not, it’s one death or many. And the legends say sirens are terribly hard to kill for keeps, but I suppose no creature can survive without its heart. You suspect her heart is where her curse lies as well, I think?”

  The prince nodded, and if Tad wasn’t mistaken, an eye twinkle accompanied the soft look he sent Nadie. It was as if the two could read each other’s minds.

  Tad stuck out his hand to Claire. “Let me see those goggle things a moment.”

  She handed them over with a suspicious look, which he refused to acknowledge. He slipped on the odd contraption with the too-tight leather strap that strangled his skull, and ignored the many gawks that came his way. The goggles seemed to reveal the true state of things, and the state of things as he looked at Nadie and Prince Henry was not amusing. How had Claire not noticed this?

  A silver half-moon mark shone over the prince’s heart and a matching one over Nadie’s. Lady Love truly was incorrigible.

  Tad gave the goggles back to Claire with a great sigh. “Well, at least I can get the two of you paired up before I am summoned to fix whatever disaster will shortly befall you.”

  Probably Lady Love had simply sought to be efficient in her duties. When she saw two souls in the same place in need of true love, she marked them both at the same time. But why not just match up a pirate with a pirate and a prince with a princess instead of mixing them up? Nadie might have been Avery’s sister but surely there were other pirate girls to be had? Tad had begun to suspect his patroness was not sensible at all.

  Everybody stared at him as if he had taken leave of his senses.

  “Just as I thought, Lady Love has marked the two of you for each other.” Tad nodded to Prince Henry and Nadie, whose faces abruptly mislaid a pint of blood. “But I am only here on behalf of Princess Arabella and Captain Avery.” He spoke his next words to himself. “A pirate for a princess when there is a perfectly good prince standing right here? I have no idea what she was thinking.” He looked at Avery. “Except that you might deserve this particular princess, sir. I’ll wager she’s every bit as cunning and devious as you.”

  “On the contrary, she was tricked,” Claire said.

  “This is a fine bedtime story and all, but you’re forgetting one thing. I don’t believe a word of it. Pirates do not wed princesses.”

  “Denial is no use,” Tad replied to Avery’s stubborn stance. “If you did not desire true love in your heart, the Lady would not have marked you and I would not have been summoned to fix your happily ever after. The princess is for you and you’re for her. Don’t ask me to explain why because I truly do not care.”

  “He’s very unintelligent in that way,” Claire said. “I for one am very interested in understanding why Lady Love chose you for the princess, and I am not entirely convinced that she did, but then I am new.” She cast Tad a wicked grin. “So is he, but these goggles show a fascinating—”

  “Thank you.” Tad put his hand over Claire’s lips. She slowly sank her teeth into his index finger. “That is very unladylike.” He wiped the finger with the saliva and bite marks on his trousers and glared at her. “Your refusal to accept facts as facts is wasting daylight.”

  Claire turned her torso to and fro and observed him.

  Tad was starting to recognize that twinkle in her eyes. “You look as if you have just found another specimen to study.”

  Her countenance sobered. “Are you afraid of the dark?”

  The warmth drained from Tad’s face. “Of course not. It is simply much more efficient to—”

  “Sure.” Claire turned back to the pirates. “How is it you’re not seasick after your voyage? Didn’t the storm make you all yak?”

  “Not me,” Nadie said. Her lips betrayed a grin as she dipped her head toward her brother and the rest of the crew. “I rather enjoyed commanding the ship all on my own, nobody telling me, ‘This is man business, woman.’” She smirked at her brother.

  Avery took a step toward Claire. “Were you magical sorts responsible for that tempest?”

  Claire jerked her thumb toward Tad. “Thought you might need a little help getting here before His Highness saved the princess himself. At the time we didn’t know he intended to do her in.”

  “And now you know how serious I am,” Tad said.

  Avery’s fists clenched at his sides. “Don’t I have a say in any of this?”

  “None at all.”

  “None whatsoever.”

  “Don’t you want your happily ever after, dear?”

  Tad grinned as the company turned their heads around the trees. He didn’t need to look to know the voices of his annoying assistants. “Those would be my magic pigeons, the very ones who created the windstorm that sent your ship sailing here in a flash. If you do not cooperate, I shall order them scatter the treasure to the ends of the Aeorus—”

  “We are not your slaves,” Pip cawed.

  Tad’s teeth ground together. He took a step toward Avery, whose face betrayed a grin. “You’ll never find the treasure if you cross me, sir.” He wasn’t sure the birds could actually perform the threatened feat but the pirates didn’t need to know that.

  Avery’s grin vanished.

  “Not your treasure.” Prince Henry looked at Avery. “To save Lumares.”

  “That’s the stolen treasure, the loot from Princess Arabella’s kingdom?” Nadie asked.

  The prince nodded.

  Nadie turned to her brother. “It doesn’t surprise me at all that she’s guarding it, then. Maybe she turned herself into a siren on purpose and did away with the other pirates to save her kingdom?”

  Prince Henry frowned deeply. “She killed my crew, too.”

  “Oh.” Compassion filled Nadie’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” Her shy look turned mutinous as she addressed her brother. “That treasure will save Lumares from starvation. We’re not taking a single coin.” She marched over to the prince and placed her hand on his arm. “And I am truly sorry for your loss.”

  “Quit your mothering,” Avery said. “We’ll only take what’s rightfully ours, a full pardon for pirating for me and my crew and the share of the treasure promised as payment for returning the princess.” A roguish look spread over his face as the prince’s eyes narrowed at him. “The king didn’t say she had to be human when we sent her home, only that she had to be in once piece.”

  “What are you talking about?” Nadie asked.

  “Man business,” Avery replied. Nadie’s beleaguered expression wiped the smirk off his face. “But I suppose there’s no harm in telling you what I learned in port, that is, King William has offered a reward for his daughter’s return, and I intend for us to claim it.”

  Prince Henry shoved a hard breath through his nostrils, but he nodded. His eyes returned to the place where Nadie was just withdrawing her hand from his forearm.

  Avery stomped off.

  “Where are you going?” Nadie called after him.

  “To get supplies since we are to hole up here for the night. And you just tell Henry he had better find himself another true love because no sister of mine—”

  “Shove off,” Nadie cried. Her face reddened as the prince’s gaze met hers. She shrugged. “Pardon the language, sire. I am a pirate, after all.”

  The prince made goo-goo eyes at the pirate girl again, but Tad didn’t care in the least. He had not been summoned to fix their happily ever after and if Nadie kept the prince distracted, things between Avery and Arabella would work out fine, somehow. Just one more loose end to tie up before it went trotting off poking its nose into every nook and cranny on the island and created a heap of trouble.

  Tad whirled around to face Claire. “And now, my fear
less helper, you may be of assistance if you wish. Let’s get back to the library and I will reveal to you my plan, one where you can research and experiment to your heart’s content.”

  Chapter 10

  Tad landed in the library ahead of Claire and rubbed his hands together in anticipation of what came next. The pigeons he had left behind, Pip to keep an eye on the princess, Nan and Sev to prevent Avery from being devoured by the island’s native occupants. The rest of the crew was expendable given that they were entirely unnecessary to Lady Love’s business. That’s what he had told the pigeons. Keep the real clients safe so they could fall in love, and if the others got eaten, that was just the natural order of things. Claire’s face confirmed these words had hit their mark, and Tad had magicked himself away after enjoying that particular turn of her countenance.

  “Prince Henry is right. The siren must be put to death,” he said as soon as Claire appeared beside him. It took a heap of concentration to keep the sunshine out of his voice.

  As expected, dark clouds rolled across his little helper’s expression. “Then how will she get her happily ever after?”

  “She won’t.” Tad put on an air of indifference. Tormenting the girl was such fun and much more satisfying than trading insults with Pip.

  “Now you’ve lost me.” Claire set one hand on her hip and turned up the palm of the other. “I can’t imagine what’s going on in that head of yours.”

  Tad climbed up a magic, invisible ladder all the way to the third shelf of a bookcase that had no scrolls at all, only rectangular volumes. Even though he couldn’t see the rungs, he had discovered the ladder accidentally while searching for love poems. Apparently, it manifest whenever he had need of it, then went away again. “I got the idea when I was contemplating Roselle’s beauty, her charm, her complex nature, her—”