“I’ll get some.” He walked over, grabbed the bucket off the counter, and headed for the door.
“Um, no.” Hope stood in front of him and held her hand out. “You are not going out there in just your boxers. Put a shirt on. No one is getting to see that body but me while we’re here.”
He chuckled but complied and walked back into the bedroom, emerging a minute later wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. “Better, Mom?”
“Much.” She grinned. “Thank you.”
Ten minutes later, they were seated on the couch, both of them nursing a vodka on the rocks. He took a deep breath and began, watching as she took a sip of her drink. “I just want to state for the record, one more time, that I’m not sure if this is going to make things better or worse. And I know this is going to sound bad, but knowing you knew nothing about my sister makes it easier for me to be here with you right now.”
She lowered the glass from her lips as concern seeped deeply into her eyes. “Gage, you’re starting to scare me now. Just get on with it.”
“Okay, here goes.” He took another quick sip. “Your dad was telling the truth when he said my sister was working at your office. She was in art school in Brooklyn on a scholarship and got an internship working in one of your design departments.”
Hope nodded her head. “Yes, that’s very common. We generally offer five internships a year and send out requests to all the local art schools.”
“Faith was really excited to work for Yorke Publishing. She loved graphic design and said the creative department was very liberal and invited her to submit her work at any time. I was deployed at the time, but she wrote me emails almost every day telling me about her time here in New York.”
Hope smiled wistfully. “It sounds like you had a really close relationship with her.”
“Yeah, I guess we did. It was just the two of us, and Irish families tend to be close, I think. We probably get in each other’s business more than we should, which brings me to the next part of the story.” He took another sip of his drink and went on. “After writing me nearly every day for months, all of a sudden, I didn’t get an email for almost six weeks. When she finally responded to all of my worried notes, it was to tell me that she had fallen in love. Then, she went on to tell me that it was to a married man, but she couldn’t stop herself from seeing him because he made her so happy.”
Gage watched as Hope’s breathing seemed to falter, her cheeks growing pink, her head shaking slowly back and forth as she began to put together the pieces of the puzzle he’d been relaying to her. “No. Please, tell me it’s not who I think you’re going to say.”
He put his drink down on the coffee table and slid down the couch to be closer to her. Speaking softly, he confirmed her guess. “Your father, Hope. She had fallen in love with your father.”
Dismay sprang to her eyes as they widened in disbelief. “How? I don’t understand? I know he loved my mother. He would never cheat on her!”
“It’s the oldest story in the book. Pretty, young new secretary falls for older, sophisticated man. How is that not flattering to both of them?”
She still shook her head in denial. “I don’t believe it. He wouldn’t do that. He’s not that kind of man.”
He took her face gently in his hands and looked into her eyes. “Hope, she sent me pictures of them. He took her with him to a conference in Miami. They went sailing, had dinner on the beach. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”
“I don’t understand. I know he loved my mother completely.” She looked at him, her eyes filled with grief, cracking his heart open just a little more for her.
“I don’t think he felt the same about Faith that she felt for him. She was young, naïve, and so inexperienced. I’m sure she believed she was in love, and maybe he told her he was, too. I don’t really know because there was a lot that she didn’t tell me.”
“I still don’t understand how she came to be in the car with my mother then. Did my mother know about the affair?”
“I think so, but I can only make assumptions based on the little information she told me leading up to her death, and the lies that your father has tried to tell me.
“Wait, you’ve met my father?” Shock bloomed over her features.
“Yes, when I came home for Faith’s funeral, I confronted him. I wanted answers about what really happened.”
“So, tell me, what happened?”
“About two weeks before Faith’s death, she sent me an email and told me that she was no longer seeing Robert.” He looked at her and clarified to be sure she understood. “Your father.” She nodded that she understood, and he continued. “She said he had told her the affair had to end as it was getting too involved and he didn’t want to hurt your mother.”
Hope scoffed and muttered under her breath, “A bit late to be worrying about that, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, I think so. Anyway, a week or so later, Faith actually called me, which she never did. It wasn’t easy getting calls overseas. I never knew where I was going to be day to day, but she managed to get lucky and catch me on base. When I finally got on the phone and said hello, she started crying. I was terrified that something had happened to one of our parents, but when she could finally speak, it was to tell me that she was pregnant.”
Hope’s hand flew to her mouth as she gasped in surprised horror. “What? Pregnant?” Her eyes flew open wider as the next thought crossed her mind and flew out of her mouth. “And it was my fathers? Are you sure?”
He spoke quietly. “Faith had only ever been with one other person, her high school boyfriend, and that had been three years prior. I’m quite certain it was your father’s. Although, he didn’t believe that and told her as much when she told him. Called her a gold digger and accused her of trying to trap him. She said she pleaded with him and even showed him the date of conception to prove it was his. She was already almost five months along at that point and knew it was a girl.”
“Your poor sister. She was so young. I can’t imagine what she must have been going through.” She looked up to meet his eyes and could see how hard this was to talk about with her, and then a thought struck her. “Oh my God, Gage. Do you know what that means? Your sister was pregnant with my half-sister. What does that make you to me?”
“It doesn’t make me anything because the baby was never born and Faith is dead.” His words weren’t meant to sting, but they did.
“I’m sorry, Gage.” She spoke the words as if it was her fault his sister had died.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Hope. But perhaps your father does. Maybe if he had treated her differently, maybe she and your mother would still be here today.”
“So, my mother did learn about the affair?”
“This is the part I don’t have all the facts to. Faith sent me an email the day before the accident and told me that Robert was insisting she get an abortion, saying he would take matters into his own hands if she didn’t. She said she would never abort the baby that far along and was going to contact his wife and tell her about the baby. Faith thought, if your mother knew, she would leave your father and then he would go back to her.” Gage shook his head. “Like I said, she was very young and naïve.”
“I don’t know what happened after that. The next news I heard was from my captain, informing me my sister had been in a car accident and wasn’t expected to live. By the time I arrived back in the states, she was gone.”
“But you asked my father. What did he say?”
“He actually told me the same story he told you, that his wife had given her a ride home due to the bad weather. What he didn’t know was that I knew about the affair and the baby. And when I told him I knew, he denied it all. How can a man turn his back on a woman carrying his child? He knew he had a daughter coming into this world and wanted my sister to kill it so it wouldn’t interfere with the picture-perfect life he had already created for himself.”
Hope began to shiver as the words he spoke about her father sunk in, and slow,
fat tears slid down her cheeks as she finally, once and for all, understood why Gage left her at the airport that day. Not only did her father destroy a young girl’s belief in love and happily ever after, he had also just destroyed hers.
Chapter Nineteen
Hope brushed the tears off her cheeks and rose from the couch. “I should go.”
Gage stood abruptly and took hold of her hand. “What? No! Stay. I don’t want you to leave.”
Shaking her head, she smiled wistfully and, pulling her hand from his, began walking toward the bedroom. “It’s better this way.”
He trailed behind, hot on her heels. “What’s better this way?”
She entered the bedroom and picked her dress up off the floor, shaking it to try to smooth out some of the wrinkles. She hated that she had to put it back on, but she certainly couldn’t leave wearing his shirt. She looked up at him and excused herself as she walked past him into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
She set her dress on the counter and began unbuttoning his shirt, unable to stop herself from burying her nose in the collar to inhale his scent just one more time. She wanted to sear it to memory, no matter how painful the burn may feel later. As she unfastened the last button, she slid the shirt off her shoulders and hung it on a hook fastened to the wall. She stepped into her dress, adjusting it into place, and pulled the zipper up slowly.
She should leave now. She was dressed. Why couldn’t she get her feet to move then? She looked at her reflection in the mirror and gazed at the hollow shell staring back. Five short days ago, her heart felt as if it would overflow with the love she had let herself believe in, and now, she felt gutted. She was being punished for the sins of her father—a father she had always loved and admired.
A soft knock sounded at the door. “Hope, you okay in there?”
She snapped her eyes away and opened the door briskly. “I’m fine. Just getting dressed.”
He moved to let her exit the bathroom but then stepped back in front of her, causing her to almost fall into him. “Please, don’t go. Let’s talk and figure this out.” He clutched her shoulders gently to steady her and looked surprised when he was met with a cold stare.
“It’s better if I leave now and just face the inevitable. Staying with you tonight will just make it harder.”
“Make what harder?” he spat out, frustration boiling its way to the surface.
She rolled her eyes and blew out a long breath. “Gage, we can’t be together. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not ever. I didn’t understand what happened on the jet, and still didn’t understand why we couldn’t overcome the obstacle of the accident after hearing my father’s story. But now, hearing your story, after what my father did, I understand. I understand all of it.”
He shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair. “Hope, I don’t want to lose you. Seeing you tonight, being with you tonight, made me realize how much I need and want you. I don’t want what your father did to ruin what we could be. Why should we let him ruin yet another romance?”
“And how would you introduce me to your parents? Or to your grandparents? Do you really think that, every time you say or hear my last name, you won’t think of my father and get angry and not be able to take some of that out on me?”
He stared at her, dazed and silent.
“See? You can’t even deny what I’m saying because you know it’s true. And, Gage, he’s my father. No matter what he did—and believe me, I think it’s horrible and disturbing on so many levels—I can’t shut him out of my life. I work for him. I’ve loved him my whole life. How would we overcome this?”
“I—I don’t know. But I know I’d like to try. Don’t you even want to try?” He grasped her gently and pulled her stiff body into his arms. “Please. I just found you. I don’t want to lose you, Hope.”
Her hands trailed slowly up his arms and gripped onto his biceps as her body began to tremble. Her head rested on his chest, her hair falling forward to mask her face, but her heart was being broken in two. He raised his hand to brush her hair away, but before he could, she wrenched free of his hold and turned away.
“No, no! I’m sorry. I can’t do this. It’s already too hard.” She turned and, upon seeing his grief-stricken expression, felt the very last of her composure begin to crumble. “Goodbye, Gage.” And then she fled from the room, the door slamming behind her as she dashed to the elevators.
She was expecting him to follow so wasn’t sure if she was relieved or more shattered when he didn’t. As she climbed into the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby, she began heaving great breaths of air to try to contain the sobs threatening to break free. How many more times was she going to have to grieve the loss of this perfect man? She wasn’t sure how much more her heart could take.
The elevator doors swished open, revealing a lobby that thankfully held only a handful of guests. She cast her head downward as she walked to the front desk and asked the clerk to please summon the car service for her, explaining one was on call for Yorke. Yes, she even had a car on call when needed, another perk of being Robert Yorke’s daughter. She laughed out loud, causing the desk clerk to look at her in concern. Yes, she had all the perks of being a Yorke, including the extra bonus of losing the man she had fallen in love with because of it.
Gage’s heart thudded to a halt as he watched the door to his suite slam shut. How in the fuck did this just keep getting worse? Instinctually, he knew he should go after her, but common sense told him to let her go. She’d been through enough, and chasing after her would only cause her more pain right now. He’d told her things about her father that he knew she needed time to process.
He dropped down onto the closest sofa and reached for the nearly full tumbler of vodka he had poured for Hope, draining it in one gulp. He got up to make another when he heard his phone chirp, indicating an incoming message. His pulse quickened as he walked into the bedroom and pawed at the pockets of the slacks he had discarded earlier, looking for his phone. It finally tumbled out and thumped to the floor on its own.
Bending to retrieve it, he was surprised to see a text from Ben. He sighed in disappointment because he really wanted that message to be from Hope. Swiping the screen, he clicked on Ben’s name to read the message.
*
Just saw Hope leave. I’m in the lobby bar if you want to talk.
*
He scratched his chin as he processed the message. Did he want to go down to the bar? Talk about Hope? Drown his sorrows? All of the above? Fuck it. He was going to go stir crazy if he stayed put in this room all night, especially with the smell of her on the sheets to haunt him. He pulled off the shorts and t-shirt he had on and switched them for a pair of jeans. Walking into the bathroom, he took the dress shirt he, and Hope, had worn earlier and, pulling it on, began fastening the buttons. Was it crazy that she only had it on for half an hour, but it made him feel like she was wrapped around him?
He took the elevator down to the lobby and made his way to the bar, finding Ben seated by himself at the far end, a crystal tumbler of warm, brown liquid in front of him. Gage sat down on the empty stool beside Ben and nodded. “Hey.”
“Hey. Wasn’t sure if you were coming down.” He motioned for the bartender. “You want something?”
Nodding, he addressed the bartender. “I’ll take a Ketel One, rocks. A double.”
“You want to talk about it?” Ben took a slow sip of his drink, brows raised as he peered over at Gage.
The bartender came over, placed a fresh tumbler in front of Gage, and walked away. “Not really.” He raised the glass to his lips, the ice cubes clinking as he took a large drink.
“Yeah, guess that wouldn’t be the manly thing to do.” A light chuckle followed Ben’s reply.
“Nope.” Another clinking sip of his drink followed. “I’m surprised you’re still here. I know you hate these things as much as I do.”
“There was a girl.” He grinned broadly as he shrugged.
“Isn’t t
here always?” Gage shook his head and smiled sardonically. “Hopefully, your night ended better than mine.”
“She’s playing hard to get, but the feisty ones usually do.”
“Did you at least get her name?”
“Yep. Jill. Gorgeous blonde. Owns a spa or something. She came with Drew’s friends, Mika and Rae.”
“Good luck with that.” He scoffed lightly. “I’ve got my own blonde to worry about.”
“Since you brought it up, man, Hope didn’t look too happy when I saw her leaving. I didn’t even know you knew each other. When did that start?”
Gage shrugged and blew out quickly. “Eight days ago.”
Ben’s hand slapped loudly on the bar as he let out a loud guffaw. “Eight days? Shit. What’d you do? Love her and leave her?”
He shook his head while running a hand over the scruff lining his chin. “Something like that.” He turned his head and looked at him seriously. “I think I fell in love with her.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
“Isn’t working out to be a good thing.”
Ben’s hand clapped onto his shoulder and squeezed lightly before letting go. “I’m sorry. Genuinely. Can I do anything?”
“You know her father, right?”
“Yeah, sure. I mean, I guess so. Our families have been friends for as long as I can remember, so we’ve spent time together. He the problem? Doesn’t want her dating some military grunt?”
Shaking his head, he told Ben, “I wish it was that simple. There’s some history, and it’s not the good kind.”
“She feel the same way?”
He raised his eyebrows. “About me? You mean, is she in love with me?” He nodded his head. “Yeah, I think she is. But she loves her father more. And what daughter wouldn’t?”
“Her mom’s gone. Did you know that? A car accident a few years ago.”
He scoffed and took a large gulp of his drink. “Yeah, that’s the fucking problem.”
“Wait, what? You lost me, man.”
Gage raked his fingers through his hair and grimaced. “Never mind. It’s a long story, and I just don’t want to go there again.”
Losing Hope Page 15