“Another drink then?”
“Yep, might as well.”
Looks like drowning his sorrows wins for the night.
Chapter Twenty
Hope looked at the clock on the dashboard and noted the time. Ten-fifty. Her father would most likely be home and possibly already in bed, but she needed to confront him and didn’t want to wait another minute.
“Could you take me to my father’s apartment instead, please? Do you need the address?”
“No, ma’am. I’m familiar with it.”
“Wonderful. Thank you.”
She could call him. Her phone was in the pocket of her skirt, but no. She wanted to catch him off guard. Any warning she gave him would just give him more time to fabricate more lies, and she’d had enough of those. Several minutes later, the driver pulled up in front of her father’s building. A doorman appeared and opened her door, helping her out of the car. She thanked the driver and made her way into the foyer of the building.
“Do you know if Mr. Yorke is in?” she questioned the doorman.
“I believe he is, ma’am. His secretary came around earlier, so I suspect he’s working. Would you like me to call up?”
“No. Thank you, though. I’ll just go directly.”
The doorman tipped his hat and returned to his station as she made her way to the elevator. She punched the arrow pointing up and stepped inside the elevator once the doors slid open.
She clenched and unclenched her hands nervously as the elevator climbed to its destination, wondering if she was making the right decision in coming here and confronting him. Perhaps she should have waited until she wasn’t so angry and confused. The elevator slowed to a stop, and the doors swished open. It was now or never she supposed and, bracing herself, stepped into the short hallway and went to his door.
Her shoes clicked on the marbled floor of the otherwise silent space as she unlocked the door and made her way toward the living room. Lights were on, so she assumed that perhaps he was reading, or possibly even in his office working. When she didn’t find him in the living room, she turned and started down the hallway to his office.
She could see the door was slightly ajar and the light on, and felt some relief at finding him in his most likely hiding spot. As she got closer, she pushed the door wide and smiled when she saw her father sitting at the desk, head buried in some paperwork.
“Daddy?”
His head snapped up in surprise before a wide smile broke across his features. “Hope, darling! What a nice surprise.” He stood and came around the desk, pulling her into his arms in a warm embrace before pushing her back and looking at her. “You’re all dressed up. And you look like you’ve been crying? What’s wrong?”
She pulled herself out of his arms and stepped back, nodding. “We need to talk.”
His brows creased, and all humor left his eyes. “This sounds serious.”
“It is.” She turned and started back down the hallway. “Let’s go sit in the kitchen, okay?”
When they entered the kitchen, she walked to the coffee machine and smiled when she felt a warm pot already waiting. She pulled a mug out of the cabinet for herself. “Do you want a cup?”
“Yes, that sounds nice, dear.”
She already knew he was going to say yes but asked anyway. He loved his coffee and usually always had some close by. She poured them both a cup and handed his to him black. She added her usual sugar and cream and couldn’t help but feel a slight pang in her heart, frowning when she remembered how Gage would tease her about the lack of coffee in her coffee.
“You’re worrying me. Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”
She sat down at the counter next to him and smiled sadly. “Faith Flynn is on my mind.”
His eyes narrowed, and he shifted uncomfortably. “I thought we had already discussed this.”
“We didn’t discuss the part about you having an affair with her. Or the baby she was carrying when she died. Your baby, Daddy. My half-sister.”
He turned visibly pale, and the hand holding his coffee began to tremble. He set the cup on the counter and let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, darling. I’m so sorry you had to learn about any of that. Would you believe me if I said I only kept it from you to lessen your pain?”
“No.” She shook her head angrily. “I think you hid it from me because it was easier for you and you knew I wouldn’t forgive you.”
“Will you let me explain?” He reached for her hand and pulled it into his. “Please?”
She stared at him for a long time before responding. Perhaps it was only seconds, but it felt like minutes before she finally did. “I do want to hear what you have to say, but I honestly just don’t know if I will believe anything you tell me.”
He nodded, his eyes sad and understanding. “And I accept that possibility. I know it’s of my own doing.”
She nodded this time. “Okay then, I’m listening.”
“I loved your mother very, very much, Hope. As hard as this may be for you to believe, Faith was the first and only time I ever strayed in all our years together.”
One eyebrow arched high as she tilted her head in doubt, but she remained silent.
“Your mother was extremely busy with her charities, and I suppose I was, too, with my work. We stopped spending any real quality time together.” A flush crept up his neck to his cheeks in obvious embarrassment over the topic of discussion. “She was always tired, and no longer wanted to go out, travel, or even just spend time together.”
He glanced over at her sheepishly. “I’m sorry, this isn’t a very comfortable thing to discuss with my daughter.”
“Daddy, I’m a grown woman. I can handle it. Go on.” She waved her hand in the air to indicate he should move along.
He nodded. “I was just peaking over my mid-fifties, and I suppose feeling a bit sorry for myself, thinking perhaps the best part of my life was over. And then, out of nowhere, in waltzes this intern. She’s young, and she’s beautiful and so eager. I began to notice that her eyes followed me everywhere when we were in the same space.”
“Faith?”
Her father nodded with a sad smile. “Yes, Faith. I was so flattered that this beautiful, young woman was interested in me, and God forgive me, I acted on it. I invited her to work on a cover project with me and kept her late one night. It started out slowly. Dinners here and there. A concert. Then, finally, well, I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you.”
“No, I’m sure you don’t, but I’d like you to. I need to understand exactly how her and Mother ended up in that car together.”
His sad eyes locked onto hers as he nodded grimly. “I know, and I’ll get there.” He stood up then and, taking his mug, walked to the coffee pot and poured himself another. He lifted the pot to her in question, but she shook her head no. He stayed on that side of the counter and began to speak again.
“This continued for several months. I can’t say for sure if anyone at the office caught on or not. We were very discreet there, but I saw her three and sometimes four nights a week. I used one of the corporate apartments, so it was easy to just say I’d been working late or at a dinner engagement. I even took Faith to Miami with me for a conference I had.”
“Yes, she wrote Gage and told him about the trip. She told him she had fallen in love and that you shared her sentiments.” A scowl dressed her face as she looked at him. “Did you, Father? Did you love her?”
He smiled wistfully but shook his head no. “There are a lot of things I regret in this life, but that may be one of the biggest. I took this young girl and used her to make myself feel better, not realizing the horrible impact it would have on her. I was a fool to not realize how naïve she really was. I loved the time I spent with her. I loved the way she made me feel young again. I loved how such simple things brought her joy and made me feel like a man again. But, no, I didn’t love her. Your mother is the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“But you got her pregnant. Did you really ask he
r to abort the baby?”
Shame flashed across his face, and she knew instantly what his answer was. Sick to her stomach, she gasped, “Father, you didn’t!”
He moved to sit next to her again and grasped one of her hands in his. “Only in the purest moment of shock and weakness. Shortly after we came back from Miami, I realized that I was making the biggest mistake of my life and needed to end things with her. I asked her to meet me at the apartment, where I told her I had to let her go, and, of course, I apologized for any hurt I was causing her.”
He grimaced at the memory but continued. “She was heartbroken. Said she didn’t know how she was going to live without me and professed her love to me again and again. And, honestly, I was devastated as well but only because it hurt me to know my selfishness had caused her so much pain. She didn’t deserve it. She really didn’t.”
Hope could see that her father was genuinely saddened about the grief he had caused Faith, which only caused her feelings about the whole matter to become more unstable. “Is this when you found out she was pregnant?”
“No, not for another week or so. And, in that time, I confessed everything to your mother. I had committed the worst betrayal to her and our marriage that I could, and she deserved to know the truth.”
Her eyes widened in surprise at his admission. “You told Mother? So, she knew about the affair?”
He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head as if he himself couldn’t believe the outcome of his confession. “She didn’t know until I told her, and, of course, she was hurt and angry, and in a way only your mother could, she was forgiving.”
“Mother forgave you? Really?” Disbelief laced her voice.
He scoffed as if he himself still couldn’t believe it. “She did. She said that, after twenty-five wonderful years, she could forgive me one indiscretion. God only knows why, but your mother loved me.”
“Because she was amazing, Daddy. How could you have ever stopped seeing that?” Her voice was quiet and filled with disappointment.
He patted her hand, a knowing frown on his face. “I know, baby girl. I know. Don’t think that I haven’t asked myself that a hundred times.”
“This still doesn’t explain the pregnancy and the car accident.” She wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily.
“It may have been five or six days after I had ended the relationship with Faith that she came to my office one late afternoon. She told me she was pregnant and was already over four months along. I was shocked, to say the least, and I confess, at first, I didn’t believe her. I assumed it was a ploy to try to prolong the relationship, and I know I said things that were awful and unkind. I made her leave, and instead of feeling sympathy, I admit, I only felt anger.”
“Well, I suppose that’s a natural reaction, but you must have considered it was possible that she really was pregnant?”
He nodded. “Of course, and she confirmed it the next day when she came by again, this time with a sonogram of the baby. I was shocked into submission, to say the least. And also at a loss. I honestly had no idea what to do or say, so I asked her to come back the next evening so we would discuss it.”
“And did you?”
“I went home and told your mother. That was even harder than telling her about the affair.”
Hope’s hand went to her mouth as it dropped open in surprise. “My God, Daddy! Poor Mother! She had to deal with all of this. She must have been so mad.”
“Yes, she was furious. But only at me. She felt only compassion for Faith and insisted we do whatever needed to care for her. She demanded she be there the next day to also speak with Faith. So, that leads us to the night of the accident.”
“That was the next night?”
“Yes, your mother came into the office around three, and around four, Faith arrived. I’m not going to lie. It was quite a scene. I don’t think it was until that moment that Faith realized I truly had no intention of leaving your mother, no matter her current condition. I know it broke her heart, too, which is something I’ll never, ever forgive myself for.”
He let out a long sigh, his face heavy with grief. “Your mother was the one to finally calm Faith down. She spoke to her like she was her daughter and not her husband’s mistress, assuring her we would help. She made sure Faith understood that we would be in the baby’s life no matter what; we wanted to be there, whether it was to help her raise it or adopt it if she didn’t want to keep it.”
He looked at Faith then, his eyes sad and moist at the edges. “Your mother was an amazing woman. If I had any idea what was going to happen…”
Her father drew in a deep breath and nodded once as he finished his story. “Your mother insisted on taking the car and driving to Faith’s to get some of her things. She was going to have her come back and stay at the house so we could care for her properly. The weather was turning, but your mother scoffed at me and reminded me that she grew up driving in snow storms. I wasn’t quite comfortable with the arrangement, but I daren’t argue with her at that point. I decided to stay back at the office and wrap up a few loose ends, and then I was going to meet them back at the house later.”
“So, it really was just an accident that killed Mother and Faith?” she asked incredulously.
He nodded slowly, eyes full of despair. “And your sister, Hope. You would have had a little sister.”
“Oh, Daddy.” She fell into his arms then as he wrapped them around her and held her tightly. “How could you have kept this from me?”
He murmured over the top of her head, “I’m so, so sorry, darling.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Four Months Later
Gage flinched and swore under his breath as a firm knock on the door broke his concentration. He was trimming a photograph, prepping it to be matted, and he’d just sliced off a fraction too much. He slammed his fist down on the table and drew in a deep breath to calm himself. It didn’t take much to anger him these days.
He dropped the knife on the table and walked to the door. Three more hard knocks sounded on the other side just as he grabbed the handle to pull it open. “Chill the fuck out! I’m com—”
His eyes widened in surprised disbelief, and if it was even possible, his boiling point rose to a precarious edge. “What do you want?”
“I’d like to talk if you have a moment.” He watched as Robert Yorke shifted uncomfortably in his doorway. “I think it’s long overdue.”
“I’d say it was about six years overdue.” Shaking his head in disgust, he stepped back out of the doorframe and motioned for Robert to come inside. As much as he didn’t want to be within ten feet of this man, he was curious as hell to hear what he had to say.
“Thank you.” He walked past and gasped out loud, “Oh!”
Gage regarded the man’s shocked expression and shrugged. “It’s the only way I can be close to her.” His gaze swept around the room, following the path Robert’s eyes took. Every wall was covered in framed photographs of Hope—her laughing, looking straight at him, on the bridge, of them on the hill together, her sleeping. She was everywhere.
The older man’s eyes fell back on him. “You love her.”
“Does it matter?”
“Very much indeed.” He walked further into the room, unbuttoning his coat before shrugging it off. He moved to set it over a chair and then pulled another one out to sit in. “May I?”
Gage waved his hand in the air to indicate he should do as he pleases. “What can I do for you, Mr. Yorke?”
“Please, call me Robert.”
“I’m not planning on getting friendly enough to be on a first name basis with you, so let’s just keep this formal.”
He watched a small frown appear on the man’s face as he nodded curtly, and Gage was surprised at how amenable the man was attempting to be, causing his curiosity to grow. “Again, what do you want?”
“I’d like to explain. Something I should have done a long, long time ago.”
Scoffing loudly, Gage moved to st
and across the table. “Why now? I begged you years ago, and you would tell me nothing.”
“Something I regret very much and have come to learn was the wrong thing to do. I thought I was protecting the ones I love, but, well, it seems I’ve done much more harm than good.” He motioned toward the chair Gage was leaning on. “Won’t you sit down? This might take a little while.”
Curiosity getting the best of him, and his desire to finally have more information about what happened to his sister, had him sliding down into the seat. “I’m listening.”
Gage focused all his attention, his emotions swirling in different directions, as Robert Yorke detailed the same story he had told Hope back in October. When he was done, both men sat in silence, each taking the other in across the table.
“Why are you finally telling me this now? Why couldn’t you have told me this years ago?”
A long, exhausted sigh fell from Robert. “I truly thought I was protecting my wife. She didn’t deserve to have her name dragged through the mud because her husband’s lover was in the car with her… Let alone, her husband’s pregnant lover. Can you imagine what the newspapers would have done if they’d gotten hold of that?”
“Do you actually think I would have gone to the papers if you’d told me and my family the truth?” Gage spat out angrily.
“At the time, I couldn’t see past my own immediate family and needs. I had no idea that you knew your sister and I had a relationship, or that you knew the baby was mine. Then, when you confronted me, I did what I always did in that situation. I lied, and for that, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry that I’ve caused you and your family the pain I did. But, son, it was an accident. We all lost that day, and I do know that it may be hard to swallow, but I, we, would have done the right thing by Faith. My wife would have it no other way.”
Gage stood up and paced around the room, not sure where this conversation was supposed to be headed. He turned and faced Robert. “What are you looking for then? Forgiveness?”
Losing Hope Page 16