Raging Heart On: Friends to Lovers Romance (Lucas Brothers Book 2)

by Jordan Marie

  “Oh, of course. Though, I would like to meet with you and discuss a few things. It’s rather important.”

  “What could we possibly have to talk about?”

  “I’d rather not get into it over the phone. I’ll be in town next week. I was hoping I could come by. I could fix you dinner and we could talk.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything we need to say to each other. However, if you come into town, as my fiancée’s sister, I’d be glad to take you and Kayla out to dinner.”

  “Your fiancée??”

  “Of course, that’s if Kayla wants to go to dinner with you. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to her,” I add, hanging up the phone and barely resisting throwing it across the room.

  “Your fiancée??” This comes from Kayla instead of Rachel now, and I turn around to look at her. For some reason, I feel defensive.

  “Definitely.”

  “I thought this was—”

  “I’ve told you and told you that what we’ve been doing isn’t temporary, Kayla.”

  “Did you seriously just tell me we’re getting married? Actually, scratch that. Did you seriously just tell my sister that we were getting married before you even mentioned it to me?”

  “What’s the point of telling you? You wouldn’t believe me, anyway.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Sweetheart, you’ve spent half our relationship justifying in your mind why I’m sleeping with you and how I feel about you.”

  “I haven’t said—”

  “You don’t have to. It’s there in every reaction you have, in the way you are with me, everything.”

  “Well, if it annoys you, maybe—”

  “Stop it, Kayla.”

  “What? I’m just saying that if—”

  “You annoy me. You infuriate me. You also make me laugh. You make me happy. You make a bad day better. You give me purpose. You give me peace and you also—”

  “White,” she whispers, her eyes overly bright.

  “You also love me.”

  “I…”

  “And that’s great. In fact, it’s fucking awesome.”

  “It is?” she asks, her voice strained, her face pale.

  “It is. Because I love you.”

  “White, you don’t have to say anything. I know you love me. We’ve been friends all of our lives.”

  “Not as a friend, Kayla. Though I do love you like that too.”

  “You love me,” she whispers, and she doesn’t say it like a question. Tears are slowly streaming from her eyes. I move into her, trying to catch them before they fall, but it’s useless.

  “I love you,” I reassure her, close to panic. I never imagined that the first time I told a woman I loved her, she’d be crying.

  “You love me,” she repeats.

  “That’s not supposed to make you cry.”

  “Why?” she asks, crying harder.

  “Why what?” I respond, thoroughly confused.

  “Why do you love me?”

  “Sweetheart, what do you think we’ve been doing here?”

  “Here?”

  “Together.”

  “I don’t know!” she cries like she’s completely lost. My heart squeezes, and by that, I mean I can physically feel the pain.

  “You don’t know?” I’m not sure how to respond to that.

  “I just figured I’d enjoy the ride however long it lasted.”

  “However long it lasted? Are you nuts?”

  “You agreed to this to help me get a child. You don’t even want kids. We’ve been friends all of our lives, but I’m not delusional.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “I’m not the kind of girl you normally go for, White.”

  “What do you mean, kind?”

  “Exactly that. I can’t hold a candle to the women you usually date. I knew going in that this was just temporary.”

  “Wait. Hold up. Why in the fuck would you even compare yourself to anyone, Kayla? Jesus Fucking Christ! Don’t you get it?”

  “Get what?”

  “You aren’t like those other women. Fuck, I’ve never given my heart to anyone before.”

  “But…”

  “Sweetheart, you’re beautiful. You’re so gorgeous, you take my breath away. From the color of your hair, to your eyes, the way your smile lights up an entire room, all the way to how your body curves and feels against me, every single bit of it turns me on more than I’ve ever been turned on in my life.”

  “You don’t have to say that. I know that I’m fat. I don’t have any delusions about what stares back at me in the mirror.”

  “Then maybe you need a new fucking mirror. Jesus, Kayla. Who did this shit to you? Who made you feel as if you didn’t measure up? Who in the hell convinced you that the woman I’m looking at isn’t the most beautiful person in the world? ‘Cause I’ve got to tell you, baby, you are. You take my breath away. I’m not telling you that for any other reason than it is one hundred percent the truth. I love you.”

  “White…”

  “This can’t work if you don’t start believing in what we have, Kayla. I can fight, sweetheart. For you, I will fight until I don’t have breath in my body any longer. I’ll do it, because what I’ve had with you these past months is a million times better than anything I’ve ever experienced, or expected. But I can’t fight alone. I can’t knock out your demons, Kayla. Especially if I don’t know what they are or who put them there.”

  “You love me,” she whispers.

  “So much, it hurts.”

  “I’m scared, White.”

  “There’s no need to be, sweetheart. I’m right here and I have no intention of ever leaving.”

  CHAPTER 48

  KAYLA

  He’s completely serious. It’s there in his eyes, in the way he’s holding himself, and even though he’s blurry from the tears in my eyes, I can tell that. In my head I just keep hearing over and over: my fiancée.

  I’ve spent so long thinking this was just temporary, that soon I’d wake up and White will have realized he made a mistake and everything would just blow up. I have been preparing myself for it, even preparing to lose White completely. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be standing before the man I’ve always loved and hearing him tell me that he loves me. That he wants me… forever.

  “How did we get here?” I whisper, more to myself than to White. I feel his fingers comb through my hair and I force my eyes up to his.

  “As far as I’m concerned, it took us too fucking long to get here.”

  “It did,” I agree. “It really did.”

  “No more running, Kayla. No more fighting it, honey. This is it.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that and, instead, show you some of the reasons you and I are meant to be.”

  “Meant to be? That doesn’t sound hokey at all,” I try and joke through the tears that are slowly drying as happiness begins to envelope me.

  “Always a smart ass,” he chides, picking me up in his arms and walking me through the room. He doesn’t stop until we get to the bedroom and he places me gently on the bed.

  I sit up immediately, my eyes glued to him as he pulls the shirt he’s wearing over his head.

  “Your turn,” he prompts.

  “White, there’s something I think I should tell you. Something I did that you should know. I think it would be best if we—”

  I break off as the phone rings. We both turn to look at it in unison. White looks back at me with a smile.

  “Hold that thought, Buttercup,” he says, picking up the cordless receiver. He looks at the caller ID and glances back at me. “It’s mom. With perfect timing, as usual.”

  I force a smile. My stomach is a nervous mess. I was just about to confess to White that I was still taking birth control. I wanted to tell him that I’d been crazy, that I was afraid to trust him, and that finally I’m believing
in what we have. I know he might be upset with me, maybe even disappointed, but I want to get it out there and move forward.

  I can’t believe he just told my sister I’m his fiancée! My heart is almost beating out of my chest. It’s like having a dream your entire life and, by some miracle, it’s actually happening. Not much in my life has worked out, with the exception of being taken under Ida Sue’s wing. Memories of the contempt my stepfather had for me, of the way he left me behind, has colored my entire life. I tried so hard to be like Rachel, to do the things she said he expected of me, but nothing worked, and as hard as I tried not to take that internally, I know that I failed. There’s always a part of me that feels not good enough, not pretty enough. Not enough, period.

  “Kayla! Buttercup! Did you hear me?!”

  I jerk around to look at White, who is busy pulling his shirt back on and looking around the room. “What?” I ask, confused.

  “I said CC is in labor! We have to get down to mom’s—well, the hospital, really. We don’t want to miss the birth of my two nephews!”

  “Oh, wow. She’s in labor? I thought they chose not to know what they’re having,” I point out, my stomach feeling funny. Whether it is from the thought of White not knowing I’m still on birth control, how excited he is about seeing Gray’s children, or sadness that I’m not having a child, I can’t begin to decipher.

  “Gray says they’ll be boys. Only the doctor knows. CC forbid them to tell anyone. The doctors did warn them that first-time pregnancies can take forever to deliver, but you know CC, and apparently the babies are demanding to come out now, so we’ve got to get a move on,” White says, pulling me off the bed. He’s smiling from ear to ear and he seems so happy. That queasiness in my stomach only intensifies.

  “We better get going, then,” I tell him, and I do my best to smile.

  “Hey. Are you okay?” White asks, concerned. I guess I didn’t quite achieve the smile I wanted.

  “I’m fine. I just can’t believe that CC is in labor,” I tell him, which isn’t exactly a lie—at least not a full one.

  “I know, but she’s not that early. The babies are fine. It’s going to go great, you’ll see. And pretty soon, it will be you and me getting ready to welcome our child into the world.”

  “You really want that,” I whisper, and it’s not a question, because for the first time, I see the truth shining in his blue eyes.

  “More than I could tell you, Buttercup. It’s going to happen. Someday soon, I’ll see your stomach stretched with our child. I’ll be able to feel him kick in your belly and know that the most beautiful part of the two of us is alive and growing, and getting stronger. You’re going to be an amazing mother, Kayla.”

  That sick feeling in my stomach intensifies. Guilt feels as if it is churning so thick, it might eat me alive. I’ve been so wrong. Now would be the time to tell him the truth. Now would be the time to confess everything to White and beg him to understand. I find I can’t. My tongue refuses work. The words are frozen in my throat. I can’t even find the words to tell him I love him too. How pathetic is that? Not because I don’t, but because I do. I love White. I’ve always loved White. I’m just scared to tell him that, especially since I’ve been kind of lying to him since the beginning. As I look into his eyes, I make a vow to myself: I won’t take my birth control anymore. White doesn’t need to know I’ve been taking them. I’ll stop now and then I can give him the child we’ve been trying for. I can make this right, for both of us.

  The pills are hidden inside my purse, a fact I remember with crystal clear clarity when he hands me my purse and jacket and pulls me towards the front door. I follow him, trying to sort through all the chaos in my mind. In the end, I decide that this plan is the safest bet I have. I’ll flush the pills when I get to Ida Sue’s. I’ll get rid of everything and White and I will make a child. It will all work out. He’ll never know that I doubted him. I can make this right. As he helps me get into the car and closes my door, I let my eyes drift shut. I see a picture of White holding our child. This will work… It has to.

  CHAPTER 49

  WHITE

  “If you ever lay another hand on me, I swear to God I will cut it off and feed it to the dogs!”

  “We don’t have any dogs, Cooper,” Gray says coolly while his wife is currently huffing out every breath in his direction, her face flushed, her eyes shooting venom at him, and she reminds me of a fire-breathing dragon, really. He’s being really calm. I think in his shoes I’d be hightailing it out to the waiting room. Shit, I just got here and I’m ready to go back into the waiting room. The nurse said this was pre-labor, something about dilation and mild contractions. From the cursing coming out of CC’s mouth, I don’t see a damn thing mild going on.

  “I don’t think it was his hand that got you knocked up, baby doll,” Mom chirps in cheerfully, pushing CC’s hair away from her face. Kayla hides behind me and I can feel her body shaking in laughter. Gray apparently has the good sense to remain quiet.

  “Then I’ll cut off his damn di—”

  “Now, sweetheart, I don’t think you truly mean that. You’re awful partial to my nine iron.”

  “Come here,” CC puffs, and that’s when I gain a new respect for my brother. He doesn’t even blink. He walks closer and bends down to her. CC grabs his shirt collar tightly in her hand. For a second, I’m afraid she might choke him. There’s enough anger in her eyes, to completely convince me of that.

  “Now, Cooper…”

  “My last name is Lucas now, asshole! And if I had one of those fancy nine irons you keep in that fancy golf bag of yours, I’d beat you over the head with it right nowwwww…”

  The last of her sentence is whined out in a loud yell which definitely could break glass. I even find myself checking the windows to see if they shatter around us.

  “You got this, CC. Just breathe through it,” Mom says, doing her best to be soothing, I’m sure. I’m also pretty certain that CC is completely ignoring her. What I’m even more certain of is the fact that the hold CC has on Gray’s collar is tighter now and to the point that my brother’s face is starting to change color.

  “Um… maybe we should go back to the waiting room,” Kayla suggests. I look at her and find she’s a little pale herself. The last thing I need is for her to fear this. Hell, I feel like I’m being stabbed with needles as it is. I don’t want to see Kayla in pain either. Kayla’s right; it’s best if we go outside. We can deal with this part when it’s time.

  “We’ll just be outside if you need us,” I tell Gray. He would probably acknowledge me if his wife wasn’t trying to kill him. I need to make a mental note that if we ever get lucky enough to make a baby and Kayla goes into labor, I won’t wear shirts she can grab and strangle me with. That might put a damper on the whole welcoming-our-child-into-the-world thing.

  “Hey, before you go, could you give me your phone?” Mom asks just as we’re about to escape through the door.

  “My phone?” I ask, automatically reaching for it.

  “Yeah, my battery is dead and I want to record the minute the twins make their appearance.”

  “You what?” CC screeches, holding her stomach, but thankfully letting go of Gray’s shirt. My brother sucks in some air and coughs, but he looks at me with the goofy grin of a man completely happy with his world. I look at Kayla and can even understand that.

  “The minute my precious grandsons’ heads start peeking out, I’m capturing it for prosperity! I’ve even set up one of those fancy Facebook events and invited all our neighbors!” Mom rattles on. “Hand your phone over, White. I need to plan my angle. It’s not going to be easy to capture the moment with the doctor working. Maybe I can get him to pose, holding the head of the first baby, and then…”

  “Ida Sue! You are not taking pictures of my va-jay-jay for the world to freaking see!”

  “I was going to video it, really, and—”

  “There will be no videos of my woman’s pussy.”

  “I hate t
hat word.” This is said in unison by both Mom and CC.

  “That’s funny. You never tell me that when you’re begging me to play with it,” Gray grumbles, to which CC elbows him in the gut and he ends his sentence with a grunt.

  “I think we should go,” Kayla whispers.

  “I need your phone,” Mom says.

  “You leave your phone, White, and I will hunt you down and gut you.”

  The deadly certainty in CC’s eyes is enough to convince me to keep my phone hidden. I let Kayla drag me out of there while Mom and CC are fighting about cameras.

  “If we ever have a child and you let Ida Sue within a hundred yards of my delivery room, I will kill you.”

  “Got it,” I tell her, starting to think the women I know are a little too bloodthirsty. “How about we go find some food while we’re waiting to see my nephews?”

  “I am hungry,” Kayla agrees, and I lead her to the cafeteria. I figure the further I can get her away from the madness, the better—for me and for other parts of my anatomy.

  CHAPTER 50

  WHITE

  “Your daughter is beautiful, CC,” Kayla whispers. She’s holding Gray and CC’s new baby daughter Violet. She’s a beautiful little girl with these tiny little fingers and toes and a head full of auburn hair the color of her mom’s. She’s so beautiful, I don’t even mind that they named her after a flower—a fact my Mom is still going on about. Her twin brother William, who is named after someone CC loved, is almost her complete opposite, though their faces are very similar. Mom says he’s named after the flower Sweet Williams. Gray is denying it, but I saw CC wink at her, so I’m not sure at this point. I guess if they carry on the family tradition, it might be easier when Kayla and I don’t.

  And that’s the thing. I wanted to give Kayla a baby before. Slowly, the idea settled inside of me and I wanted to tie her to me with a child—my child. Today after watching her hold Violet, seeing the child wrap its little hand around Kayla’s finger and watching as my woman coos at her, there’s this hunger inside of me, this need that I’ve never had before. Kayla will have my child growing inside of her. The doctors have all assured us there’s nothing preventing that and I won’t stop until it happens. If there was ever a woman meant to be surrounded by babies, it’s Kayla.