Brave Heart

by Lindsay McKenna

  Wolf shook his head. “Let us live each day as it arrives, Cante Tinza. When we make camp tonight, all I want to do is hold my wife in my arms. I want to hear the strong, brave beat of her heart against my heart. More than anything, I want to show you how much I love you, how much I have missed you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Near dusk, they stopped for the night. They had headed in a northwesterly direction, and to avoid detection they remained within the embrace of the thick woodlands that carpeted Ohio. Wolf had cautioned Cante Tinza not to speak as they rode for fear of being overheard by a dog that might bark an alarm. The horses were wet, and their heads hung as Serena unsaddled them and then placed hobbles on them so that they could forage for grass.

  Wolf dug a deep hole, placed dried grass and small sticks into it and with flint sparks started a fire. An hour earlier he had spotted a rabbit and had killed it with an arrow. They worked quietly in unison. What little smoke was created by the fire was quickly dispersed as it rose and spread upward through the branches of the beech and oak trees surrounding them. Even with darkness coming, the firelight would be hidden because of the depth of the hole.

  Serena fell into her tasks, just as if she were home again with the Lakota tribe. Joy thrummed through her as she looked up from skinning the rabbit to see Wolf walking silently around the camp. He gathered wood and then went to a nearby stream and got water. Kagi remained steadfastly at her side, her yellow eyes bright with silent happiness that Serena was back.

  The rabbit was quartered and roasted over the fire. They sat cross-legged, their knees barely touching, as they ate the sumptuous meal. Earlier, Wolf had decided that their camp was relatively safe as Kagi hadn’t sounded any alarm. If humans were within three miles of them, she would have been stiffly alert.

  “Would you like to have your deerskin dress back?“ he asked, gesturing to the cotton one she wore.

  “Yes.”

  Wolf smiled and eased to his moccasined feet. Going to the bulging parfleche saddlebags, he pulled out one of her dresses. Cante Tinza looked less strained now. Wolf hurt for her, for all that she had suffered through with the wasicuns. Yet as he handed her the dress and he saw her eyes alight with joy, his heart almost burst with fierce, unfettered love for her. He watched as she eagerly unrolled the deerskin dress.

  “Little Swallow made me bring your work dress. She also packed a pair of your moccasins.“ He watched Cante Tinza move her fingertips across the smooth, soft hide. How many nights had he dreamed of her running her hands across him?

  Tears flooded into Serena’s eyes as she gazed up at Wolf’s darkly shadowed features. The light of a quarter moon broke the darkness enough to reveal the bare outline of his face. “I’ve missed everyone so much, Wolf.”

  He heard the quaver in her voice and knelt in front of her, gently threading his fingers through her hair. He could tell that someone had carelessly hacked it off because it hung in uneven lengths halfway down her neck. He saw the pain in her face as he caressed her red hair. Leaning down, he barely grazed her lips.

  “Your hair will grow back,” he reassured her in a whisper. He felt the softness of her lips meet and meld with his. His hands framed her face and he felt Cante Tinza shudder. “Come here,” he said thickly, and pulled her into his arms to hold her tightly. She began to cry, her face pressed against his shirt, her fingers clutching at the soft deerskin across his chest. All Wolf could do was hold her, and stroke her head, shoulders and back to help her release the horror of her many moons of imprisonment. His mouth turned down with anger, and rage tunneled through him at the humiliation Cante Tinza had had to endure. To treat a woman with so little respect was beyond his comprehension. Didn’t wasicuns realize that it was the women who carried their beloved children? The children who were their future? Their hope? More important, didn’t they realize that women were just as sacred as any man, perhaps more so? They gave their blood once a moon to Mother Earth, and that was something men wished that they could do, but could not. All a man could do was symbolically cut his arms and allow the blood to drip from his fingertips and have it absorbed by the Mother Earth.

  Much later Cante Tinza’s weeping ceased. The fire had gone out, and only the thin, washed-out moonlight covered the wooded region. Easing her away from him just enough to lift her chin so that he could look into her eyes, Wolf smiled gently.

  “Dawn Sky and Wakinyela are safe and with Dreaming Bear.”

  Sniffing, Serena nodded and tried to wipe away the tears with her fingers. “I’m glad. I—I miss them so much, Wolf.”

  “We both do,” he agreed quietly, caressing her shoulders. “It has been nine moons since I last saw them, too.“ He saw her face reflect his pain, and he shook his head. “I had to find you, Cante Tinza.”

  “But the tribe doesn’t have a medicine person,” she whispered.

  “The chief reminded me of my responsibility,” Wolf told her. “But I told him I had a responsibility toward my wife, too.“ He grazed her cheek and held her sad eyes. “Dreaming Bear knows of herbs, and she will do her best to help those who become sick in my absence.”

  “Wakinyela will be walking by now,” Serena said softly, looking into the darkness and feeling the pain well up through her. “Do you know that for many moons I forgot about my family, about you?”

  “If someone had kept me in a dark room as you were, I would have gone heyoka, crazy,” Wolf confided. He held her gaze. “You were like a bear hibernating for that time. You drew deep within yourself and you went into the other realms just as the bear does when it goes into its cave for the cold moons.”

  “That thunderstorm,” Serena whispered. “Something happened, Wolf. Something awakened in me. I was sitting there milking the cow and I felt it. I heard it. I took the cow out to the pasture and I remember seeing the thunder beings creating this storm. All the memories, all the feelings about you and my babies suddenly came flooding back to me.”

  He smiled and reached into the parfleche saddlebag. “The bear within you, which was hibernating, awoke. That is why the memories came back to you.“ He withdrew the elk bone comb. “Let me care for your hair, my woman.”

  “Oh, no, Wolf. It’s terrible looking.“ Serena pulled away, her fingers trembling across the hacked-off strands. “I—I saw myself in the pond one day. I look ugly!”

  Patiently, Wolf captured her hands and placed them in her lap. “No more protests,” he chided her gently, and began to ease the comb through the copper-colored strands. “Do not deny me a pleasure I have missed for so long. I do not care if your hair is short or long. It is the woman who wears this hair that I love.”

  Sniffing, Serena closed her eyes, absorbing his touch like a starving person. “I had forgotten how wonderful this could be,” she quavered.

  “Because you thought you had been abandoned and saw no escape from that wasicun.”

  She gazed up at his face and saw the hardness melt away from his features; the corners of his mouth drew upward, and his eyes glinted with happiness. “I never thought you’d come, Wolf,” Serena admitted, ashamed of herself. “I didn’t see how you could find me. It must have been so dangerous coming here.”

  “Yes, and it will be dangerous going home. But with Kagi’s eyes, ears and nose, we will be safe.”

  “And you said Kingston is dead?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think Frederick will try and tell the fort near the Paha Sapa that I’m there? I fear they will come and get me again, Wolf.”

  He sat back, satisfied. Cante Tinza’s hair now looked softer and tamed, the strands gleaming dully in the moonlight. The worry and anxiety in her eyes was real, and he reached over and captured her hand. “Chief Badger Mouth made a decision,” he told her somberly. “Before I left, he agreed that our tribe should leave the Paha Sapa.”

  Gasping, Serena’s eyes widened. “Leave? Where will we go?”

  “To Canada. The horse soldiers cannot cross the border to chase us and kill us if we live in that c
ountry.“ Wolf pointed north. “As soon as we return, and as soon as we can travel, the chief will lead us north to that country.”

  “But will the Canadians leave us alone?”

  Wolf nodded. “Already, other Lakota tribes have moved up there, and they live in peace. The wasicuns there respect the Lakota and do not bother them.“ His hand tightened around hers. “You will finally be safe, Cante Tinza. No wasicun will come and drag you off again.”

  It sounded too good to be true. Serena gripped Wolf’s hand. “This is like a dream. I’m afraid I’ll wake up and find myself back at their farm,” she said shuddering.

  Wolf understood. The night air was warm and fragrant with life. It was the moon when berries were ripe. He reached forward and began to unbutton her dress.

  “I have prayed endlessly to the Great Spirit for your safety—to find you alive,” he told her in an unsteady voice. “You are my woman. You hold my heart in your hands, Cante Tinza.“ Wolf saw the desire grow in her eyes as he continued to ease the buttons from the fabric. “Tonight is the first night I will share my robe with you once again. I want to hold you in my arms. I want to share my love with you.“ His hands stilled on the fabric, and the dress parted to reveal the chemise she wore beneath it. “I know you feel unsure because you are like a wild horse that is suddenly set free after being hobbled and held prisoner.“ He settled his hands against her long, slender neck, his thumbs stroking her soft flesh. “Guide me. Tell me how much you want from me. If it does not feel right to you, then stop me.”

  Serena closed her eyes as Wolf’s low, vibrant voice flowed through her. His touch was evoking, stirring not only her heart to life, but her body as well. His fingers moved slowly down her neck, following her collarbones and easing the dress away from her shoulders. Serena felt the dress pool around her hips. Words choked up in her throat, and she opened her eyes and smiled tremulously up into his eyes.

  “I love you with all my heart and soul. How can I tell you to stop when all I’ve dreamed of is being with you, beloved?“ Serena reached over and caressed Wolf’s cheek, and his eyes grew dark with desire. A soft gasp formed as she felt Wolf’s hands gently curve around her breasts. He held her as if she were a delicate vessel that might break. As Serena surrendered to him and moved into his arms, she felt fragile.

  Wolf had laid out the robe earlier. It was a summer buffalo robe, the hairs short and smooth, unlike the hairy, thick robes used during the cold moons. With an understanding nod, he guided Cante Tinza to the robe, where he continued to undress her. The dress was removed and placed on the ground in a heap. Next went the white cotton chemise and petticoat. The moonlight bathed her ivory-colored body as she knelt between his legs, her long, slender hands resting upon her curved thighs.

  Wolf’s smile deepened as she helped him slip the deerskin shirt over his head. The pleasure, the wanting of him, shone clearly in her dark green eyes as she tentatively ran her hands across his chest.

  “You are so beautiful,” Serena whispered unsteadily, feeling his heat, his power beneath the taut flesh of his chest. Courage radiated from within Wolf, Serena realized humbly, for Wolf was a man of conviction and loyalty.

  She saw his eyes grow velvet with desire for her as he removed his leggings and breechclout. They knelt naked in front of each other. Serena felt no shame in gazing at Wolf. She leaned over and began to untie and then unbraid his hair. The ebony strands fell around his shoulders and framed his face. With trembling fingers, she closed her eyes and kneaded his scalp, refamiliarizing herself with him all over again. His hair was thick and luxuriant. As she moved her hands down to the taut muscles of his shoulders and chest, coals of longing flared to life within her once again.

  How cold and desolate she had been, Serena realized as Wolf caressed her breasts, his thumbs grazing her hardening nipples. When he slid his hand around her waist and drew her into his arms, she sighed in anticipation. His lips closed over her nipple, and she gave a small cry of exultation as she felt hot, tremoring bolts jaggedly racing through her. She surrendered to his caresses, feeling and absorbing his love in every fiber of her being. How she had needed Wolf’s touch!

  Serena felt herself being placed on the robe, the warmth of the fur against her back. As Wolf’s hands drifted down and across her body, as he reacquainted himself with every curve of her, she sighed and closed her eyes. His hands were teasing and strong at the same time. She felt him hesitate as his hands ranged down her legs to her ankles.

  Wolf scowled as he saw for the first time the scars caused by the leg irons Cante Tinza had had to wear on her small ankles. He brushed his fingertips across the scarred flesh. He felt unadulterated rage. Once again, she had borne the anger of the wasicuns against her as a woman, a woman who was courageous in the face of overwhelming odds. Leaning down, he kissed those scars, wanting to take the pain away from her, to erase the memory of her imprisonment.

  Later Wolf moved to her side to mold his body against the length of hers. He slid his arm beneath her neck, and splayed his other hand across her rounded belly. He saw the unsureness and shame in her eyes over his discovery of the scars that marked her ankles. Gently, he moved his hand across her abdomen.

  “I pray that before we reach home you carry our next child within you, my woman.“ When he leaned down to caress her lips he felt her fire for him returning. As Wolf eased from her moist lips, he whispered, “A child who will be born in freedom, who will never have to endure what you have gone through.”

  His words vibrated through Serena, and with a small cry she lifted her arms and placed them around Wolf’s shoulders. He had never judged her. He had never shamed her. All he saw was her beauty, despite the scars she bore. Drowning in the splendor of his strong, cherishing mouth, she felt his hand drift downward toward her thighs, and she opened herself to him, inviting his exploration of her.

  Her moan drowned in his mouth as he continued to caress her. When he moved across her, settling his weight against her, Serena had never before felt as joyous or as powerful as a woman. As Wolf moved slowly into her, she arched her back to accept him. The wet slickness of her melted and joined his rigid thrust.

  Wolf stilled himself and placed his hands against Cante Tinza’s face. She was scalding him with her fire, yet he didn’t want to move just yet. He simply wanted to savor her.

  “Look at me,” he whispered raggedly. Her lashes lifted to reveal drowsy green eyes that were flecked with sunlight. As her lips parted, Wolf groaned. “We are one, Cante Tinza. We will always be one. Time and distance do not separate us—ever.”

  She smiled tremulously and felt him thrust slowly, deeply, into her. The hardness of his body, the tautness of him as a man, had never been more apparent, and yet she felt herself adjusting, surrendering in so many beautiful ways to him. With each slow thrust, the pleasure built a hundredfold within her. Wolf’s hands framed her face, his mouth captured hers, and she moaned as he began not only to fill her fully with his presence, but to give back so much of what had been taken from her.

  In those moments before the shattering pleasure exploded throughout her, Serena understood what real love between a man and a woman meant. It wasn’t about a man subjugating a woman, it was about a man blending with a woman to become one. Wolf understood their symmetry.

  Later, they lay quietly in each other’s arms, the robe drawn over them. Serena was exhausted, and very quickly fell asleep in Wolf’s protective embrace. The feeling of safety had never been more intense. For the first time in months, she dreamed of seeing her babies and of seeing the Lakota people who had shaped her life with love and respect, not cruelty, prejudice or imprisonment.

  * * *

  The leaves of the Paha Sapa were turning brilliant shades of orange, yellow and red as Serena rode with Wolf at her side. The dark green of the pines was a vivid contrast to the colors of the trees that were now shedding their leaves. She traded a happy look with him as they rode at an easy gallop across the meadow that she knew would bring them to the camp.
It had taken them three moons to return, and Serena could hardly wait to see her children.

  Kagi raced ahead and disappeared over the last rise. At the top of the knoll, they reined their horses to a halt. Serena gasped. There, spread out along a river, was their camp. Wolf pointed to his tepee, which had a black wolf painted on the exterior above the entrance.

  Heart pounding, Serena saw Dreaming Bear walking Wakinyela outside their tepee. She turned to Wolf, tears in her eyes. “She’s walking.”

  He smiled. “Very well, too.“ His smile deepened as he reached over and gripped her hand. “Let’s greet our family.”

  The last mile down the long, sloping hill was breathtaking. Serena heard the camp crier announcing their arrival in his high, falsetto voice, his shrill Lakota words bringing the daily work to a halt. She saw groups of women working over tanned buffalo hides and elderly women at the community cooking pots, all look up. But her eyes were on Wakinyela, her daughter.

  Dreaming Bear gave a warbling cry of welcome and leaned down to point to the riders approaching from the east and to whisper into Wakinyela’s ear. The little girl wore a buckskin dress and moccasins, her black hair in tiny braids adorned with eagle feather fluff.

  Serena urged Wiyaka at a faster gallop, the wind tearing past her. The mare seemed to understand her urgency and began to stretch her stride, her hooves creating a thundering sound as they struck the dry, hard ground. Little Swallow came running toward her, hand raised in the air. At her side was Dawn Sky. How she had grown, Serena thought, sadness moving through her. In the full year Serena had been gone, Dawn Sky had become a beautiful little girl, so tall and straight like Wolf.

  “Ina! Ina!” Wakinyela cried, her arms stretched outward, toddling forward.

  With a cry, Serena pulled the horse to a halt and fairly flew out of the saddle. She ran toward her daughter, who had her tiny arms stretched toward her. Wakinyela’s eyes were so green that they took Serena’s breath away in amazement. As she knelt to receive her daughter’s embrace, Serena sobbed. Ina meant mother. As Wakinyela’s arms closed around her neck, Serena stood holding her baby tightly against her. Dreaming Bear had taught the child the word mother, and had obviously not let Wakinyela forget about her, even though she’d been missing from her life for so long.