The Squeeze

by Paul Schueller

  “As I said before, if you still want to be here in a few months, come and find me. I can wait a bit longer, and if you have to leave, just say goodbye this time.”

  “I’m not going to leave,” Tommy promised.

  “We’ll see,” Jenny said, doubtful.

  “How long is a few months exactly? Three?” Tommy asked.

  “You’ll know. Trust me,” Jenny said, turning away from him. “Hey, I’ll see you around town. I’ll watch for the crazy guy on the moped. Tell Pat and Mary I said good night.” With that, Jenny walked to her car, leaving Tommy unfulfilled.

  53

  Tommy walked out of a cold November wind, into a funeral home, and signed the book on the stand in the back hallway. This would be the first time in over two months that he had seen Jenny, and he spied her immediately. She was in a black dress standing with her sisters next to their dad’s casket. James looked like every other dead person. He looked like George. He looked like John. He looked like his father. There was never enough makeup to cover the bluish-gray hue of death. His face was bloated from all the drugs pumped into his body over the last few months.

  Tommy understood now why he and Jenny couldn’t be together sooner. She needed time to be with her dad, and he now realized he needed the time to be with himself. Jenny caught Tommy’s eye from across the room and she smiled slightly. The next thing Tommy knew, he was hugged from behind, although it felt more like he was choking and someone was giving him the Heimlich maneuver. Of course, it was Pat.

  Mary and the kids bustled up behind him.

  “How’s the job going, pal?!” Pat crooned.

  “It’s fine. Selling insurance isn’t really my thing, but it’s good for now because I need something, and I’m here to stay. I sold my condo in Chicago and rented a little house here in town. I’ve even been helping coach the high school football team, and I haven’t popped a pill in over two months,” Tommy said.

  Pat glanced at Mary to get a nod of approval before he spoke. “Say, now that you are a permanent and upstanding member of the community, are you interested in a new job?”

  “Pat, remember, we’re playing by the rules here. I can’t take any money or a job from you.”

  “Absolutely. So, I was hoping you would work with me at this new, non-profit foundation that Mary and I started. You can handle all the investments and finances, and I get to pick the organizations we work with,” Pat explained.

  “Pat . . . what did you do?” Tommy asked.

  “We gave away the money. Put it into a non-profit foundation. All perfectly legal with a board of directors and all. I couldn’t see paying taxes on all that money. Plus, it probably would have gone to my head, screwed up the kids and their kids. It would have gotten ugly. Remember our conversation?”

  “You didn’t give it all away, did you?” Tommy asked, baffled by this unexpected turn of events.

  “No, we kept enough so that Mary, me, and the kids are set. The rest is in the charitable foundation. We can do some good things with it and take decent salaries. Nothing obscene. All legitimate.”

  Tommy smiled at the genius and the generosity of it. “I would like to do that. Thanks,” Tommy said, and for the first time ever, initiated a big bear hug with Pat.

  “Great. We’ll work out the details, but I'm sure the board will insist on flexible hours so you can keep coaching and pursuing other interests,” Pat said.

  “Thank you,” was all that Tommy needed to say. Then he noticed Jenny was taking a little break in the back room reserved for family. “I would like to pursue such an interest now, if you’ll excuse me.”

  “Ha. Good luck,” Pat said and slapped Tommy on the back, as usual, slightly too hard.

  Tommy knocked lightly on the open door and waited for Jenny’s permission to enter. “Come in and close the door,” she said.

  “I am so sorry to hear about your dad. How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay. We had a long time to say goodbye. A long time to make sure everything between us was good. We even talked about you and what might happen in the future. The whole family had time. Today is more about closure for everyone else.”

  James had approached death coolly and calmly, knowing how he handled it was the last gift he could give his daughters. It gave them peace and strength to move on.

  “I guess you knew back at Pat’s party, didn’t you?” Tommy asked.

  “Yes, and thanks for respecting my wishes,” she said.

  “It wasn’t easy. I wanted to see you every day, but you were right, I needed the time, too,” he said. “And I know now isn’t the right time . . .”

  “Now is actually good because if it’s bad news, I’m already in the mood,” Jenny said, expecting the worst. “Are you coming to say goodbye?”

  Tommy smiled. “Come on. You know that’s not what I want to say.”

  “What do you want, Tommy?”

  “I want you. I love you. Jenny, you’re the only one in the entire world who makes me want to be a better person. I’m trying so hard to be that better person that you deserve. There’s no place I would rather be than with you, right here, right now,” Tommy said, and then smiled awkwardly as he thought about where they were.

  Jenny could read Tommy so well she knew what he was thinking, “So you want to be at my dad’s funeral?”

  “You know what I mean. My god, your dad is probably really enjoying watching me struggle.”

  Jenny paused, looking a bit uncomfortable and said, “Tommy, I loved you then, and yes, as stupid as it is, I still love you now.” The tears from both their eyes turned a long kiss salty.

  “So, would your dad approve? Did he ever forgive me? Did he know before he died that we would be together?”

  “He didn’t forgive you until years after I did.”

  “So, you do forgive me?” Tommy asked.

  “I forgave you as soon as I saw the son you gave me.”

  Tommy stared in shock at Jenny before slumping into a chair, struggling to comprehend what he just heard. Tommy sat in a daze and didn’t notice Jenny going to the door, signaling her son to come in. Tommy regained some level of control and looked up at the boy, his boy, but still couldn’t stand. He realized that it was the young man he had seen at the breakwater, the one with whom he shared a favorite quiet spot on the water, the bushy-haired kid who was a friend of Pat and Mary's kids.

  Tommy finally stood up and faced him and said, “It’s my honor to meet you.”

  “Likewise. I'm Jim.” His calmness made it clear that Tommy was the only one who was really surprised.

  “How long have you known?” Tommy asked Jim.

  “Well, I always knew my father was an old friend of my mom’s, so I kind of suspected for a while, but Mom and I talked about it a few weeks ago with my grandpa.”

  Tommy turned to Jenny. “So, your dad knew, and he forgave me?”

  “He said he was okay with it as long as you stick around this time. Otherwise, he thought he might still be able to ‘reach out,’ if you know what I mean,” Jenny said.

  “Who else knew?” Tommy asked.

  “Well, Pat and Mary . . . since before Jim was born. That’s pretty much it.”

  “And you were going to let me leave again? Without telling me?” Tommy was stunned that she’d let him go . . . just like that.

  “Yeah. So, this is where I ask for your forgiveness. I am so sorry for not telling you. I took your opportunity to watch him grow up away from you, and that’s not fair, but I knew that as soon as you found out about Jim, we could never be together.”

  Tommy turned away from both Jim and Jenny, his eyes darting randomly as he absorbed it all. Jenny looked pale and sick as she waited for Tommy to respond. He pivoted back, starting with no more than a shallow whisper, but his voice grew stronger as he continued. “I didn’t deserve to know. I was too selfish, and if I did, who knows what might have happened. This is hard. I missed everything you two ever did or thought . . . I missed so much.”

 
Jenny still looked scared. “Do you need more time?” she said.

  “No,” Tommy said. “You have given me so much more than I have lost. Now there are two people who I want to make proud of me, two people for whom I want to be a better person. I had no one before.”

  Suddenly, Pat burst into the room, looking like an excited kid on Christmas morning. He looked at Jenny and blurted out, “Does he know?”

  “Well, it would certainly be awkward now if he didn’t,” Jenny said.

  “True that!” Pat said playfully and turned to Tommy. “Dude, I’m so sorry for keeping this a secret. Jenny and Mary made me. No hard feelings, right?”

  Tommy smiled and said, “I know it was them. No hard feelings. Hey, I have a son!”

  “Yeah, and keep him away from my daughters! No offense, Jim, but I’ve been waiting a long time to say that,” Pat said as he joined Jim,

  Tommy and Jenny. Tommy and Jim stared at each other briefly and hugged awkwardly. Jim walked back out in the main room sensing that the other three wanted some time to talk. As they chatted Mary entered the room and joined them and the four talked some more, enjoying their first moment united as parents.

  Then there was an awkward pause as the reality of the funeral started to creep back into their minds and Jenny said, “I should get back out front. I suppose there are people wondering where I am.”

  Mary jumped in, “Yeah. It’s actually a little weird out there. Some woman came in. Never saw her before. Looks like she has a bodyguard. Not local, so people were whispering.”

  Tommy looked at Jenny. “Maybe a friend of yours?”

  “I doubt it,” said Jenny.

  Mary added, “No one I’ve ever seen around here, and who wears a bright red dress to a funeral, right?”

  Tommy and Pat instantly locked on each other’s surprised eyes and sprinted out into the funeral home’s main gathering area, scanning the crowd. However, they didn’t see anyone. Tommy bolted through the foyer, past friends, family, and strangers, almost knocking over a vase of sympathy flowers. In the parking lot, his eyes looked desperately for any sign of movement. There had to be something, somewhere. Then he saw it. A man driving a Mercedes. The man slammed on the brakes near the exit, just a stone’s throw from Tommy. The person in the back seat rolled down the heavily-tinted window a few inches. She stared at Tommy with a cold, calculating glare, and he stared back in disbelief. It was Deb. My god, it couldn’t be, he thought. The window closed and the car eased around the corner.

  Copyrighted © 2018 Paul Schueller

  The Squeeze by Paul Schueller

  ISBN 978-1-943331-98-7

  All Rights Reserved. Written permission must be secured from the publisher

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  Edited by Christine Woods

  Cover design by Tim Kelly

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are

  the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Characters

  in this book have no relation to anyone bearing the same name and are not

  based on anyone known or unknown to the author. Any resemblance to

  actual businesses or companies, events, locales, or persons, living or dead,

  is coincidental.