by Lauren Dane
Damien had met Mary at Adrian’s wedding, and Sweet Hollow Ranch had done some tour dates a few years back with Adrian. Adrian’s wife was one of Mary’s best friends. Around the holidays, it was the craziest mix of musicians, ranchers, security people and cooks. And this year, there’d be a librarian to add.
He smiled, thinking of her.
Vaughan snapped his fingers in Paddy’s face. “Stop thinking of nailing her for three minutes, please.”
Paddy gave his baby brother the finger. It would be good to get out with his brothers. They hadn’t done it in months and months. “What about you, D?”
Damien nodded. “Mary insisted. And by that I mean, she said, ‘get out and do something so I can work on this cookbook in peace.’”
“She’s not going to care if you go out with your brothers, Paddy.” Ezra nodded his way. “Natalie trusts you. You just have to trust yourself.”
“She the jealous type?” Jeremy asked.
“Ha. No. She’s just wary about the wild and crazy aspects of this world we live in. It’s cool. Yeah, I’m in. We’ll have an early dinner and then go out.”
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, his phone rang, and it was Lykke Li’s “Little Bit,” Nat’s ringtone.
“Hello, gorgeous.”
“So I have a request. If it’s weird and you want to say no, please do, and I won’t even be mad or upset or anything.”
Paddy smiled. “You can always come over and use me for sex. I promise to let you objectify me until we’re sticky.”
She laughed. “Well, that’s good to know. Not that I didn’t already know that. But anyway. Sometime when you guys are working, and you think it would be okay with everyone, and I’ll be quiet and stay out of the way and never say a single thing, do you think I could watch you guys lay down tracks? It’s just I love to hear you sing and I’ve never seen you do it. Which seems sort of weird considering all the other things I’ve seen you do.”
He knew she blushed. His cock stirred, knowing she would have ducked her head, exposing the back of her neck with that downy bit of pale hair and all that soft skin.
“All you ever had to do was ask. And I hum and sing all the time.” While driving, riding horses, when they hiked with Tuesday, when he cooked, hell, even when they took baths in his giant bathtub.
“Well, that’s different. I mean, whatever. Anyway, I’d like it.”
“Come over when you get off today. You’re only on until what? Three?”
“Yes.”
“Come here to the house. I’m working on something, and I’ll give you a preview. You can hear it that way and then in the studio. It’s the track we’re going to lay down today. Or start, anyway.”
“Really? Yay!”
“You’re making me miss the hell out of you right now.”
“Good. I’d hate to be alone in the missing stuff. I need to go, but I wanted to check in since we didn’t connect last night and you left me a message.”
“Okay. I’m going to be rolling out of here soon enough. I’ll see you later, then. And Natalie?”
“Hmm?”
He nearly told her he loved her. He’d been wanting to for weeks by that point. But he realized maybe the phone wasn’t the right way. “I miss you.”
“Miss you, too. See you later today.”
She hung up, and he managed to get out of bed, heading for the kitchen where he needed a seriously huge pot of coffee.
* * *
HUMMING, SHE PULLED into his driveway and got out, breathing in deep. It was cold and clear, snow maybe on the way. The air had that slightly electric feeling it sometimes did before a flurry. Up here it was higher than where she lived in town and more likely to get it.
He opened his door and the happiness on his face at the sight of her made everything better.
He was beautiful and handsome and masculine. Rumpled in his jeans and long-sleeved shirt. He’d been working; she could tell by the ink stains on the fingers he held out to bring hers to his mouth to kiss. His beard tickled.
“Hey.”
“Hey, yourself. Come in out of the cold. Jeremy is off with Ezra doing something or other, so it’s just the two of us.” He led her inside and she found herself backed up to the door after he’d closed it.
He seemed to love backing her up against things and she seemed to love it when he did it. When he used the power and size of his body to hold her in place and kiss her silly. Like he did just then.
“Ready to see me work or did you want to wade in?”
She laughed. “I’m ready.”
He brought her up to his workroom but instead of the guitar, he headed to the piano. She sat in the cushy chair in a corner after taking her coat off.
“I’m actually sort of nervous. That’s new.” He looked confused by that, and it was so sweet, she got up, walked over and took his cheeks in her hands. He gave her so much. Bent over backward to be patient and sweet, even when he gave her hickeys on her boobs and left a bruise on her hip from his thumb where he’d held her as he’d thrust into her body.
She wanted to give this to him.
“Patrick?”
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“I’m in love with you.” She swallowed hard but kept going, because she needed to say it, and she’d even practiced in front of the mirror after talking to Tuesday about it for over an hour the night before. “You’re a miracle in my life and I want to hear you sing and play music. Not only because you’re good at it, and you are, but because it’s important to you and I want to share it.”
His eyes widened and she put a finger over his lips.
“It’s okay. I don’t need you to say it back. I don’t expect you to say it back. I just wanted you to know.”
He kissed her fingers and moved her hand. “I love you, too, silly. I was going to say it this morning on the phone, but I figured on the phone wasn’t romantic.”
Oh.
She blinked back tears and struggled past the wave of emotion that threatened to drown her. He loved her, too. Well wasn’t that a wonderful thing?
“Now go sit down. I feel a little better and I want you to hear this.”
She did and he began to play.
His voice was caramel and a little bit of smoke. His eyes went half-lidded as he began to sing about skin and curves. Of eyes as blue as the summer sky and hands and shoulders that held the weight of everyone’s sins.
Those tears she’d been holding back washed through her along with wonder that he’d actually written this about her. For her. These were the words of a man who was head over heels in love with a creature he adored. No one had ever felt like this about her.
It was about being burned alive by need, by desire and love. About holding something so beautiful and strong in his hands that he could barely breathe.
Natalie just sat there and listened, tears streaming down her face, filled with a thousand different emotions she couldn’t begin to name. Though chief among them was love and an aching sort of tenderness. She pressed the heel of her hand against her chest, over her heart, and when he finished, he looked up, meeting her gaze.
Seeing her tears, he smiled. “Yeah?”
She nodded. “Yeah. The woman you wrote that for is pretty lucky.”
He moved to her, putting his arms around her. “Nah. I’m the lucky one.” He kissed her and tore himself away.
He had his hand up her shirt, the cup of her bra pulled down when the door slammed open downstairs, Damien bellowing his name.
“I’m going to kill him.” Paddy nipped her bottom lip and helped her up. “Come on. I guess they’re ready for me over at the barn. I’m going to warn you in advance, some people might think I’m sort of a perfectionist dick while we record.”
She tried not to smirk but it was impossible. “I think, Patrick, your dickish perfectionism is sort of legendary.”
“Really?”
“Hey, dickhead, where the fuck are you?”
“Are you speaking to me, Dami
en?” she called down and Paddy laughed, hugging her.
“Oh, shit! Shoot. Um, no, I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Damien called as he got closer.
“Hand out of my shirt, Patrick.”
“Aww.” He frowned and did it, kissing her quickly as he stepped back and pushed her in front of him. “Best to stand in front of me until I don’t have a really noticeable hard-on.”
Which he pressed into the flesh of her butt cheek.
“We’re in here,” Paddy called out. “I take it you’re ready for me?”
Damien came around the corner and grinned at Natalie. “Look at you making me all nervous.” He kissed her cheek. “Like one of us already.” He looked around her at Paddy. “Yes, dumbass, we’re waiting on you.”
He held his arm out and she took it. “You coming to watch us work? Maybe your presence will keep him in line.”
“I’m just a spectator. I’m not interfering with your process. I promise.”
Damien drew her downstairs where he held her coat out for her, and she put it on. Paddy came down, stepping into his shoes and grabbing a coat. “Hands off my woman. You got your own.”
Damien rolled his eyes. “See? He’s already in Make It Perfect Patrick mode. Ugh. Come on, Natalie, and walk with me. Mary said she’d come by in a bit. She’s having a nap.”
“Is she all right?”
Damien’s expression went soft. “She’s absolutely perfect. Gestating is hard business. She likes a nap in the afternoon. Makes me slow down, too. It’s all good. Thanks for asking.”
They headed out toward the barn, their high-tech, super-duper recording studio and practice space. She hadn’t been in it while they were working, though she’d been given a tour some months back.
But it was entirely different now. Ezra was in the booth looking seriously at the console as he and someone else consulted.
“Hands off.” Paddy inserted himself between Natalie and Damien. Damien laughed as he danced around his brother to plant a smooch on Natalie’s cheek before he headed to his drums.
“He’s such a punk,” Paddy grumbled.
She held a smile back.
“Let me introduce you to Jeremy. He’s been asking after you.”
Paddy took her into the booth where Ezra turned, his face all business until he recognized her. “Nats, hello darlin’.” He gave her a hug.
“What is it with all you guys and your need to call my girlfriend pet names and hug up all over her? Hands. Off. Ezra. Jeez.”
“But he’s so adorable and huggable, Patrick.” She gave Paddy what he called her puppy-dog eyes, and he grinned.
“Ezra huggable and adorable? Okay, well, that’s gonna make me snicker for days. Jeremy, this is Natalie.”
Their manager gave her a quick once-over and took her hand in his. “I’m pleased to meet you. They’ve all had such nice things to say about you. Even Sharon loves you, and she’s the toughest judge of character I’ve ever met.”
Well, that made her feel better, even if she was a little embarrassed. “Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too.”
Paddy tucked her up in a comfy chair in the booth, well out of the way, but with a great view of the action.
Everyone got headphones on and took their places. Ezra made some adjustments on the board and then went out to join them. Jeremy sat at the controls, putting his own set of headphones on, and she just watched.
Something different came over each of them as they coalesced with Ezra clearly in the lead. Ezra took over with ease and confidence. Each of them did some sound adjustments, and Paddy got up and took over a few times until it all worked like he wanted.
His brothers just let him. A minor argument broke out as Paddy, who’d sat back at the piano, played a few notes and asked Vaughan to come in with his bass. They went back and forth, Paddy frowning, Vaughan pushing back, saying how he’d been doing it was best.
Ezra looked on, adding when he seemed to feel it was necessary.
She’d been concerned at times, hearing the stories about how they worked while recording. It sounded pretty awful and mean. But really, as she watched them, it wasn’t so mean. Paddy wasn’t attacking Vaughan personally, just his opinion on a tone. And Vaughan wasn’t attacking Paddy personally, just his opinion on the same.
While there was no shortage of insults and curse words being tossed around, it was surprisingly professional as each played the same opening again and again. Ezra came into the booth and listened to both several times, asking Damien to come in here and there.
Finally, Ezra spoke.
“Paddy’s right. I think, though—” he shot a quelling glare at Vaughan, who’d opened his mouth to argue “—that Vaughan has a point on a few things, so I adjusted a small bit.” He took Vaughan’s bass and fiddled a bit, playing. Paddy played along, and when he got exactly what Ezra had said, his whole expression changed.
“Got it. Yeah, I see what you mean.”
“Let’s do this. Paddy, let’s do one whole take so I can get a baseline.” Ezra handed the bass back to Vaughan, who seemed mollified by the response and being partially right.
Vaughan looked up and winked at her, and she laughed.
Paddy flipped his brother off and settled, his fingers tracing the keys for a moment. Damien set a beat, and everyone hit it, sliding into something altogether different from those four brothers who started a band to get girls and stay out of trouble.
He played the opening notes, leaning closer to the microphone and started to sing, a breath filled with emotion.
The song swelled through the headphones as “Silent No More” started.
In his workroom, the song had been stripped down, but there in the studio, it unfurled as the other instruments embellished it just right, as Ezra’s voice on the chorus deepened it, sharpened it and polished it.
Once they finished, they all started writing stuff down, and then she was blown away by the level of energy they put into making the song perfect.
They argued over so many things. Played parts different ways; sometimes one of them would take over the other’s part to underline a point.
“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Mary came in and settled next to Natalie. “It’s easy to only see them as these laid-back, gorgeous boys who play music because they were born to. And then you see how much work they actually do, and it’s like... I don’t know. The first time I saw this it reshaped my perspective, to say the least.”
“I’ve never been privy to any part of this process, so it’s all been eye-opening. I have a whole new level of respect for what they do and for how they work together.” Because if someone told her something she’d created sounded weak or needed more of this or that, she wasn’t sure how easy it would be to take without it being personal.
“Damien once said it was like watching sausage get made. But I don’t think so. It’s like trying to create a recipe. It’s good a dozen different ways. Less of this, more of that. Cook it longer, bake it, sauté it, whatever. But there’s a way it should be. And while you can enjoy it one of those dozen ways it’s good, there’s a way it will shine brightest. They all have to work together to make that perfect recipe.”
“Damn, you’re good at this.”
Mary grinned. “I only knew a bit of it when Damien came into my life. I saw the edges, saw the backstage, the travel. It was surprising.”
They both looked back to the studio where the brothers poked and prodded and bickered their way toward a track that would make them all happy. Natalie wondered about the whole of it even as she tried to pretend it didn’t make her wary.
* * *
SOME TIME LATER, Paddy came around the piano and headed into the booth.
“This is going to take a few hours more. We’re going to skip dinner and then we’re headed out with Jeremy. His last night here before he heads up to Washington in the morning. Sorry, I know we were all supposed to hang out.”
She shook her head, cupping his cheek. “It’s totally all right. You can’t schedule th
is kind of stuff. It’s good. Call me when you can.” She kissed him and he blushed.
“You so rarely do that.” He said it quietly as he hugged her.
Mary had gone in to talk to Damien and they were alone in the booth for the moment.
“Do what?”
“Kiss me in public. But you do in front of my family and your friends. That makes me happy.”
She took a deep breath and allowed herself to accept his compliment the way she knew he meant it. “You make me happy, too.” She vowed to try harder to be affectionate with him, knew he liked it, needed it, even.
“I’ll touch base with you tomorrow. I’m sorry to say it’s going to be crazy like this for a while as we lay down tracks.”
She brushed a kiss over his knuckles. “It’s fine. This is your job. I have stuff to do, as well.”
“As long as you don’t forget I’m part of that stuff to do. Spend the night tomorrow night?”
She’d taken to spending the nights before a day off with him either at her house or at his.
“Yeah, I can do that. I’m going out with Tuesday in the day, though. We’re seeing a movie and she’s getting a tattoo touched up. I won’t be back in town until after nine or so.”
He pouted. So cute when he did. “Okay. Well, that’s for the best, anyway, since we’ll be working. Come out when you’re ready.”
“Have fun tonight.”
He smirked.
“Don’t get arrested, Patrick. Your mother isn’t going to bail you out and neither am I.”
He laughed. “Ah, gorgeous, I have an attorney on speed dial.”
“Good Lord.” She tiptoed up to kiss him one last time. “See you tomorrow.”
She waved at everyone, reiterated that it was nice to have met Jeremy and left.
* * *
MARY CAUGHT UP to her outside. “Hey, come over to my place. Dinner is still made. Call Tuesday and invite her, too.”
“Oh, good idea.” She quickly called her friend, who said she was on her way up.