Whiskey Lullabye (Southern Heartbeats, Vol. 2)

by Jennifer Rebecca

  “As always, it was an honor, Captain,” she says smiling softly. There is a sadness in her eyes that I am all too familiar with but I can tell that it’s not directed at Holt. If it was another time and another place, I would go to her, but now I need to be with my boys. All three of them.

  “Anytime I can return the favor, you got it, Red,” he tells her.

  “Just make sure to invite us to the wedding,” she tells him before looking over her shoulder at the hot guy that opened the hatch and scowls.

  “You got it,” he says to her, before turning to the hot guy, “Thanks man, you need anything, ever, you got it, Hawk,” he tells him. Hot guys name is Hawk.

  “I might take you up on that, but like Mack said, we’ll see y’all at the wedding.” I’m not sure what wedding he’s talking about, but sure. I smile sweetly at them, Hawk winks at me and Holt growls at Hawk. I internally shrug. Men are weird.

  “Well, let’s get you all settled at home and then we’ll get out of your hair,” the nice social worker tells us.

  We walk back into the airport and one by one our family and friends smile and hug us as we make our way back out of the terminal and to the range rover, where we impressed our social workers more as we skillfully buckle the boys into their carseats. The two women watch over us like loving aunts. You can tell that they want this to work. They want a safe and loving home for these boys. Holt’s parents, the Stones, are taking the social workers back to our house.

  Holt and I climb in and buckle up. He starts the engine and looks over at me, all the love in the world in his eyes when he says, “This is it, baby. This is the rest of our lives.” And it is.

  We drive the forty minutes back to Tall Pines, leading the caravan of our loved ones. I smile the entire way. The boys slept. What great boys they are. I can already tell, that they are perfect in every way. With the fall sun shining on my face, the leaves turning red and gold on the trees, and the boys that I love, all three of them, I can already tell that this is going to be a beautiful life.

  CHAPTER 29

  Holt

  February

  I’m the Man

  The rest of January was spent in our house, learning to be parents of multiples. Well, I was learning to be a parent. Period. End of discussion. And I don’t think I’m doing too badly. Sure, Diablo ate a whole bowl of infant cereal...You mix it with baby formula, which is basically milk...he’s a cat, you see where I’m going here?

  And he insists on sleeping in the nursery. This wily, old alley cat needs to be near the babies. He watches over them when I’m not there. And I love it. And if I didn’t love it, I would most definitely learn to live with it because we spent the first three nights listening to the most God awful caterwauling both from the hall outside our door and also through the baby monitor. And I like to think we’re not complete morons because it only took us three whole days and nights to figure out that the damn cat was crying to begin with because he wanted to be near the babies in the first place. And also because I had stupidly shut both their bedroom door and ours in an effort to get Liz in the mood. A loud mood.

  We finally got Colt and Ford on schedules. Thank God and Jesus and the United State Marine Corps for teaching me to love, live, and breathe schedule, structure, and regimen. It is the only way we have survived to this point.

  Sure, Liz gets a little testy with me every now and then because I like things exactly when they should be, where they should be, and right on time. So I decided she should get out and have a little girl time. The boys and I will be just fine....I hope. So, I called up Cody and he said Angie had been actively hinting that after carrying his giant baby meant she should be rewarded with a massage, whatever the hell that is. And Cody was more than willing to give it to her. Cody would give Angie anything. Do anything in order for her to be happy and feel loved. I thought it was ridiculous, but now I know. Sappy as it is, Liz has me wrapped around her adorable little finger and she has no idea. None.

  So we sent them happily off to the day spa. Fingers, toes, facials, massages, and a gorgeous lunch. Merry early Christmas and all that. She is worth every penny that I told Gage to put on my credit card. And Aliza is trying. God knows she’s trying. I see the twitches of sadness that flit over her face every now and then when she looks at Ford and Colt. How could she not. She probably sees Harper and Sarah every time. Every. Damn. Time. Or Hannah. God, Hannah. My poor girl. She’s lost so many people. She hurts so much.

  I handed off the love of my life to another dude, and that would usually go against every instinct that I have, but Gage is gay and his husband is one of the best detectives I have at the department. I swear, with one look hardened criminals confess their biggest crimes. So Gage, can put his hands on Aliza to make her feel good.

  So, here I am, surveying my territory. My town. I drop my mirrored aviators over my eyes and head on to my day with my boys. I’m walking down Main Street, with Colt in a pouch on my chest like a kangaroo and Ford on my back in a similar pouch. I have two sippy cups and diapers in the pockets of my jeans or clipped to my belt. I need no stroller or girly diaper bag. I’m a man. In fact, I am THE man. I am the sheriff here. I was Special Ops in the Marine Corps. And now I’m adoptive father to the two coolest boys on earth. It’s a pretty sweet gig, but point is, I got this.

  Those pacifier things Aliza swears are so all important are tethered to their pouches with those clippy things that look like they’ll smash in my big man hands. Good thing I brought the paracord. My badge is clipped to my hip, my Smith and Wesson M&P is holstered on my other hip. This is my side arm, there are many like it but this one is mine. Oorah!

  Colt is bouncing in his pouch. He is so excited to be out of the house and seeing the world. It’s like he can’t take it all in fast enough. This kid is going to give me all the gray hairs. I just know it. And I will love every minute of it. My boy has a zest for life that my own twin brother had. Will would laugh his ass off if he could see me now. But my Ford, he couldn’t be more opposite. He needs to sit back and observe before he can carry on. I feel him over my shoulder, watching, assessing. You do what you got to do little man, we’re a team here. We are only as fast as our slowest baby.

  Anyhoo, time to go check on our little Katydid. I check my watch. “It’s about 0947. Katy should be at the café for the midday shift. That means it’s coffee and pancake time, boys!” We head another block to the café and walk in the door.

  The All Day Café has been a staple in Tall Pines, Texas for as long as I can remember. Katy has been working here since she was fourteen and wanted to save up enough money for a dress to wear to the Junior Prom with my brother, Will.

  Will was in love with Katy since she was a baby and her mom would bring her over to have coffee with our mom, sit and visit like southern women tend to do. Will loved Katy, and I loved my brother, so I stood by when he gave her the world’s tiniest diamond chip in a ring and promised her forever while we went off to join the Marines. And every day I see the look on her face when she sees me in town, the same look she had when I came home and he didn’t. But I promised Will that last day I would look after her, so look after her I do.

  The boys and I make our way into the cafe and I see Cody sitting at my favorite booth in the back, with his own back to the door. God, he’s a good guy. Cody never once asked me why I can’t sit with my back to the door. Occasionally, he’ll make a Wild Bill Hickock reference, but for the most part, he shrugs it off. He gives me this small concession to smooth out some of my frayed edges.

  “Hey, man,” he says when I walk up to the booth. “It’s good to see you guys,” he smiles at my boys as I start unloading their gear on the table from my pockets.

  “It’s good to see you too, man,” I say. “How’s it going?” I ask as I unstrap Colt and hand him to Cody who already has his arms out for him.

  “Couldn’t be better. I was just enjoying some coffee while Joy, here, sleeps,” he laughs as he bounces Colt on his knee and points to his own little bundl
e of pink asleep in a baby carrier. Colt’s little chubby baby fingers gripping Cody’s hands tight. I smile at them as I swing the other carrier around to free Ford and then sit down.

  “You’re going to do great. It’s not that hard,” I tell him. “How is Angel doing?” I ask as I sit Ford on my lap and check out the menu that hasn’t changed since before we were born.

  “Well…” he hedges.

  “Well, what?” I ask.

  “She’s gone a little crazy with all of the hormones,” He tells me and I laugh.

  “Come on, it can’t be that bad…” I laugh again.

  “She threatened me with a knife again last night,” he says and I just laugh harder. “I’m serious! I fear for my life!” Cody whines. God, I forgot he can be such a baby sometimes.

  “What did you do?” I ask, but I already know. They both will tell anyone who will listen that it was…

  “I touched her boob!” he shouts! “I’m going to die. She’s going to kill me. My beautiful wife who swore to do no harm is going to kill me. She’s my own gorgeous wife and she won’t let me touch her boob!” he screams and I laugh again.

  “Hey Holt, what can I get for you?” Katy asks.

  “Coffee and pancakes?” I ask sweetly and she just laughs and swats me with my menu.

  “Of course!” she laughs. “Let me put the ticket in and I’ll be right back to hug a baby,” she tells me.

  “You got it.”

  “So what else is new with you?” I ask as I marvel at the terrified look on Cody’s face. “What now? I swear you’ll be fine. I won’t let little old Angie hurt you,” I taunt, but then Ford tosses the knife I didn’t realize he had and it sticks in the wall to the left of Cody’s head.

  “I think I just peed a little,” he whispers, eyes wide.

  “Shit! I don’t know whether to be impressed or terrified,” I tell him halfway proud of my little Marine in training. I can’t help the proud smile that spreads across my face.

  “Here you go,” Katy says as she places little bowls of applesauce on the table with my cup of coffee. “Now give me the baby,” she demands and it’s a little scary.

  “Here you go,” I say handing my man, Ford over. He smiles at her instantly and I love that my serious little guy has a soft side for my little sister.

  “Auntie Katy is your favorite, isn’t she?” she coos at my baby. “I love you both so much. We’re going to chase frogs and make mud pies and we’re going to have so much fun stirring up trouble that we won’t ever tell mommy and daddy about, right?” she smiles, but the words steal the breath from my lungs.

  “Holt?” Cody asks softly, seeing the shock roll across my face without hiding it. Or any attempt to hide it.

  “No, it’s okay,” I say softly.

  “I’m so, so sorry, Holt, I should have asked,” Katy starts to worry.

  “No,” I say softly, smiling at her so she knows that she didn’t do anything wrong. “You’re fine. I knew that we’re adopting them and I knew that they were mine, I just never realized that they might call me dad, and...I just realized how much I want that,” I finish softly.

  “Oh Holt,” Katy sniffles. “That’s the sweetest thing I have ever heard,” she says as she gives the baby a watery smile.

  I turn to look at Cody who is also giving me a soft look, which is weird that he’s so in tune with his emotions, like a girl. I think Angie might wear the pants in that house.

  When I notice he’s got a problem going on over at his side of the booth. Colt is using his chubby baby hand to shovel as much applesauce into his mouth as he can, but he’s a baby with no fine motor skills, so it is everywhere.

  “Umm, just saying, Cody,” I start, barely holding in my laughter. “Usually you put the applesauce in the baby, not on the baby,” I say as my laughter bubbles over. Katy stops spooning bites into Ford’s mouth to look up at Cody and Colt and bursts into uproarious laughter. It’s good to see a little bit of merriment on her face.

  “Fuck you both,” Cody laughs as he tries to clean up my baby. “Daddy and Auntie are a bunch of doody heads, aren’t they? Uncle Cody is their only redeeming quality and Aunt Angie is Uncle Cody’s only redeeming quality,” he laughs.

  “No, I think that one there is going to charm all of the ladies, just like his Uncle Will did,” Katy says softly, as we notice Colt smiling at a sleeping baby Joy.

  “The hell he will!” Cody booms again, the loveable idiot. “Holt, your boy is thinking impure thoughts about my baby girl. You tell him to knock it off right now or I will punch him in the dick!” I roll my eyes at Katy and hers twinkle with amusement.

  “Cody, he’s a baby. And your daughter is too. He can’t possibly be thinking impure thoughts about her yet.” I laugh.

  “This isn’t funny!” Cody cries. But we just laugh. And that is how we spent the rest of the day. I can’t help but think that if this is how the rest of our lives will go, it won’t be too bad.

  CHAPTER 30

  Aliza

  The minute Angie’s text bings on my iphone, I’m off like a shot. This is just what I need since my world has been flipped upside down. Perspective. Yeah, that’s what I need, perspective. And distance. Definitely some fucking distance up in this hizouse. Because I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. For fuck’s sake I just said hizouse. Well, I thought it, but shit.

  *Beer. Pizza. Father’s. Girl time. NOW BITCH!*

  “Hey, Holt?” I call hesitantly down the stairs. Careful not to wake up the boys who are napping at the same time. Someone call the Vatican, we have a fucking miracle up in here!

  “Yeah, babe,” he smiles sweetly from the door. And Jesus Fucking Christ, I jump.

  “Holy shit! Try making a noise sometimes,” I gripe. He just smiles broader. So I press on. “What are you doing? Like right now? Now that the boys are asleep?” He slowly starts to stalk towards where I’m reading in a chaise by the window in my bedroom.

  “I know what I should be doing,” he says with a predatory gleam in his eye.

  “Not that!” I shout and he laughs.

  “Babe, if you want to go have dinner with Angie, just say so. SCUBA’s on duty tonight so I can stay and watch the boys. Just have him give you a lift if you decide to imbibe,” he says softly.

  “Okay,” I say nodding. “I really appreciate it. I won’t be out too late,” I tell him.

  “It’s no big deal,” Holt smiles warmly. “Just make sure when you’re giving her all the gory detail, you remember to mention my huge cock and how you talk to it,” the bastard winks. I just growl.

  Without another word to Holt, I throw my blanket back and run into my closet. I toss my sweats to the ground and pull on skinny jeans, a pink thermal t-shirt layered over a white tank top, and then pull on my gray Ugg boots.

  I quickly brush my shoulder length blonde hair and dust a little pink blush on my cheeks and mascara on my eyelids. Holt just stands there and watches the whole thing, the invasive bastard.

  I dash past him downstairs, knowing he is right behind me, baby monitor in hand. I grab my gray wool pea coat and my purse and head for the door. Before I can think better of it, I run back to him and kiss him quickly on the mouth. Hard. Then grab my keys from the hook and head out the door. I am so screwed.

  The drive to Father’s is quick and painless. I walk through the door and wave to Katy who is behind the bar. I spot Angie in the back so I head towards the table she has procured for us. I’m glad it’s not so close to everyone because I have some shit to get off my chest. And some questions. Fuck. I’m thirty two years old, I’ve had children, I’m a widow, and now I’m going to ask questions about sex. Fuck me.

  I squish my coat and my bag across the booth and slide in next to them with a huff. Angie looks perfect in a low cut aqua sweater and jeans. She’s gorgeous. What I wouldn’t give to look that good after having a baby. My heart twinges at the thought. But I rally. I’m doing so much better. The grief is still there, but now it’s not so all consuming.

&nb
sp; “Oh shit, you had sex!” she practically shouts as soon as I’m settled.

  “Shhhh,” I all but shout back doing the hand motions that universally mean lower your fucking voice. “Care to keep it down? I don’t think they heard you in CHINA!” I growl.

  “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Cody said he thought you guys would have been doing it by now, but I wasn’t so sure and then I saw your face and I just knew. Shit. Shit! I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell her and it really is. “What am I going to do?” I ask her. Angie tips her head to the side to study me.

  “Was it bad?” she asks.

  “How I wish it were,” I sigh.

  “Shots, Katy!” she shouts. “We need shots! Tequila,” she finishes.

  Katy grabs a tray and loads it with a bottle of tequila, shot glasses, a cup of limes and a salt shaker. I’m not so sure about this when she heads towards our table. She sets everything on our table and then walks away without so much as a question. She’s good like that.

  “Oh shit,” I say as the tequila burns down my throat. We both tossed them back as soon as Angie was done pouring. Our New York girl doesn’t mess around.

  “Talk,” she demands, slamming the bottle down on the table.

  “I slept with him.”

  “No shit. Knew it the minute you sat down,” she barks back.

  “But what do I do now?” I ask.

  “You said it was good?”

  “The best,” I whisper.

  “Then keep doing it,” she answers.

  “But I don’t know how,” she just blinks at me.

  “You don’t know how to have sex?” she whispers.

  “NO! Moron,” I growl. “I don’t know how to be single. It’s been a really long time. What if I’m bad in bed and Sam never had the heart to tell me?”

  “Now who’s the moron,” she gives me the side eye. “And I highly doubt that you’re ‘single’ if Holt is playing walrus whistle with you,” she laughs.