Heart of a Highlander

by Tammy Andresen

  “Me da mentioned it. Said I should consider ye for a bride—”

  “Don’t bother, Rutland. I’m not marrying ye.” But the in her anger her voice had risen and several sets of eyes were cast their way. As hers glanced over the crowd, many averted as though she had done something wrong. Mentally she cursed herself. Her temper was too fiery by half. She should apologize.

  But another gaze caught her notice. Only Colin’s eyes remained fixed on her. Her fits of anger rarely bothered him and, in fact, he’d normally be standing to join her in any argument in which she’d landed herself. But he stayed put. She turned back to Rutland, determined to ignore Colin and the hurt that was swelling in her heart.

  If only she’d done exactly that, turned her gaze away and made her apologies to Rutland for yelling. Because Rutland was furious now, his face was puckered in anger as his eyes travelled from her to Colin. “I wouldn’t want to marry ye either. A woman should be sweet. It doesn’t matter that ye’ve developed into a beauty. It only hides yer churlish nature.”

  She let out a huff of breath as he stormed off, but a hand at her back made her jump.

  “What was all that?” her father asked, looking absolutely furious. It wasn’t that he frightened her. Her father was a large but gentle man. It was that every time she angered him, she worried she pushed him closer to making a decision on her behalf.

  “Rutland deserved it, Da,” she started but he slashed his hand down cutting her words off.

  “Would Emelia have caused a scene like that?” he hissed as he began tugging her toward the hall. Once they arrived, he turned to her. “Would Ainsley have hit a man just after arriving?”

  Her own anger swelled to match his. There was little question where she’d gotten her temper. “Is that what you want then? For me to be meek like Emilia or as coquettish as Ainsley?”

  “Don’t talk about yer sisters that way. They are both fine women!”

  “It’s just me that’s lacking then?” she huffed and then turned, starting for her room.

  Her father grunted. “I didnae mean it like that. Where are ye goin’?”

  “To my room. I wouldnae want tae cause ye any more shame.” And then she stomped toward the stairs.

  Chapter 3

  Colin watched Haggis pull Fiona from the room and his chest tightened with worry. If anything, Haggis was an overly permissive parent, allowing Fiona room to be herself. He wasn’t acting normally. Were negotiations for the engagement not going well?

  But Colin pushed those thoughts aside. It was none of his business. It wasn’t as though Fiona was in danger. That man loved his daughters with a heart as big as the rest of him. If she was with Haggis, she was safe. It was the rest of these arses he had to keep an eye on. He’d keep his word and help Fiona if the other men gave her trouble. No matter how angry he was, he’d always protect her. He hoped her father announced the engagement soon, they’d be difficult to keep at bay for too long. Fiona was titled and beautiful.

  Then another thought made his chest constrict. What if Dumfries came here to make the announcement? What if Dumfries would be joining the summit and he’d have to watch them together?

  He cursed having to be here. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be helped. He’d come to this summit alone because his father was ill again and the elder Campbell thought it’d be good training for his son.

  Rutland came over to him, his eyes wary after earlier today. “I didn’t start it this time.”

  “What?” Colin asked, being drawn out of his thoughts.

  “With Fiona. She’s upset about something and she just lost her temper.” Rutland sat down heavily next to him.

  “That’s Fiona,” he grinned, despite himself. He missed her. He’d miss pulling her out of scrapes, but he couldn’t protect her forever; though, if he were being honest, he wished he could. But his mother’s uncle had passed and Colin was to inherit the land and its profitable coal mines located in the Highlands. As the second son, it was the best he could hope for and for once he was lucky that his brother had a different mother, or Shamus would have inherited both pieces of land.

  That meant he was leaving. Starting a new life in the Highlands and he was saying goodbye to her. He didn’t understand why the idea pained him so much. But it was better for her. Dumfries was better for her.

  With a shrug, he rose from his sofa to go to the dining room. But a quick glance showed Haggis was there while Fiona was missing. She had stormed off to her room, no doubt. It made him grin to think of her temper getting the best of her. Her passion had never bothered him, in fact, he found it exhilarating. He wished she was here now. This night was going to be dull indeed.

  But thinking of all the ways Fiona was exhilarating caused him to remember that night in the barn. He immediately blocked it out. Because even thinking about the way she kissed had his body tightening in ways that was not appropriate for a dinner party.

  He walked by Lord Michael McMannis, a baron’s heir. “She is a feisty one. Likely not the best wife, but the bed sport will surely make up for it.”

  His friend, who Colin didn’t know, slapped him on the back. “Ye know it. And the title is a nice carrot too.”

  Another woman with a title? Unless they thought Fiona wasn’t attached? Haggis had better make the announcement soon. Both men cleared their throats as he passed. The hair on his neck stood up and a slight growl rumbled deep in his throat. These men were a threat to him and if they said such a thing to Fiona, he’d take their punishments from their hides.

  Rather than returning to the dining room he made his way down the hall to the servants’ stairs that led to the kitchen. It was dastardly, as a guest, but he snitched a plate of roast beef and then headed back up the stairs toward Fiona’s room.

  Softly knocking on the door, the hair on the back of his neck stood again as he heard something he’d only witnessed one other time when she’d fallen from a pony: the sound of Fiona crying.

  “Fiona, it’s me.” He knocked again “I brought food.”

  “Go away, Colin,” her muffled voice was barely distinguishable.

  “Ye’ve been telling me that a lot today,” he growled at the door. “I’m about done with it, honestly. If I break down the door, there will be questions.”

  He heard her get up off the bed and shuffle over. The knob turned and she opened it a crack. “If ye break down the door, you won’t escape the marriage noose this time.”

  “This time? What dae ye mean, this time?” His chest tightened with worry and something else.

  Her eyes were puffy and her hair was slightly mussed but that only made her more appealing. He wanted to run his fingers through that hair, bury his face in it.

  “I didn’t mean anythin’,” she huffed back then reached her hand through the doorway and grabbed some roast beef. “Now git out of here before my da catches ye.”

  “Yer talking like ye aren’t already promised.” He pushed the door open wider but Fiona stood in his way, blocking his entrance into the room.

  “Promised?” She biffed him on the side of his head. “Did ye fall of yer horse? What’s that nonsense?”

  “Dumfries. I ken he was still there when I returned from the Highlands.” His voice was rising but he wasn’t sure why. Something was about to unravel and he didn’t know how he felt about it.

  “He’s asked Clarissa to marry him and she’s accepted.” Fiona turned around then and as she ate her roast beef, sat on the bed. “Ye really shouldn’t be here.”

  His eyes closed for a moment. Relief and fear wared in his chest. “Dumfries is marrying Clarissa?”

  “Fer feck’s sake, Colin. I told ye that weeks ago,” she huffed.

  “People don’t always marry the person they love. My da says that love is—“ but he stopped not wanting to discuss his father now.

  “Well Ewan and Clarissa are marrying the person they love. But you’re right. It’s a luxury many of us don’t get. And if ye don’t leave soon, it may just be yer fate too.”
/>
  “Because I’m here? How many times in yer life have the two of us been alone? We spent our entire childhood together.” He came to sit next to her.

  “That might be true,” her head hung in way he’d never seen before. “But everythin’ is changin’.”

  Without thought, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. At twenty-two he was still slightly lanky but he looked enormous compared to her and he had the sudden urge to shield her from the world. But he couldn’t. Things were changing. He was leaving and he couldn’t protect her from that. He was trying to keep her safe from his own feelings but that didn’t seem to be working either. “We don’t have to change, not our friendship.”

  She shook her head, keeping her eyes cast down. “Colin, it already has changed.”

  This Fiona frightened him. He squeezed her tighter trying to bring her some comfort. Trying to bring himself some. He was used to her seizing the world with both hands and shaking it to her will. He loved that Fiona. Well, not love, of course. But that Fiona filled him with joy and excitement. “Don’t let it.”

  “My da is going to force a match, Colin. He’s decided it’s time for me to marry. I’ll leave and go off with my new husband. Our time of gallivanting about the loch or riding through the forest is over.” Her head hung lower.

  Colin couldn’t help himself, it pained him to see her so sad. And so he gathered her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “You’re not married yet. We can still be friends, still spend time together.”

  “I don’t feel the same about ye that I used to.” Fiona lifted her head then, her eyes filled with determination that he loved even as her words cut him to pieces. “And I can’t pretend that I do.”

  “Fiona,” her name fell from his lips without knowing what he begged for. He didn’t want to let her go now or ever. Her words cut into him. But he knew he had to do it.

  She stood from the bed, leaving his embrace. “It’s time fer ye tae go.” Then she turned her back and walked to the vanity. He watched her start to pull pins from her hair as one by one the tresses released from her coif, cascading down her back. His hands itched to gather them up, bury his face in them, bask in their fire.

  But he stood instead. His father had been right all along. That night in the barn had ruined everything. Standing, he crossed the room and walked out the door.

  Fiona heard the door shut and her tears started anew. She never cried. But today, she couldn’t seem to stop.

  Three hours she’d prepared in order to show Colin what he was missing and all she had to show for it was a plea for friendship and an irritated father. Her plan had failed miserably. What was wrong with her?

  As she finished pulling the pins from her hair, she managed to undo her gown herself. Mary had been delightful but she wanted solitude now. Crawling into bed, her eyes closed but sleep didn’t come. The more she thought about Colin, the angrier she became.

  How dare he kiss her like that, touch her and then want her to act as though nothing had happened? While that wasn’t exactly what he’d said, it’s what he meant.

  He’d played with her heart. Now she had feelings for him that she couldn’t make go away and because of those kisses, her father was forcing her into marriage. He’d both condemned her to love him and forced her to marry another. It was so unjust, her blood boiled thinking about it.

  Now she was cordoned off in her room while he enjoyed the dinner. By the time she’d finally fallen asleep, she had nothing but revenge on her mind and a plan of how to get it.

  Fiona rose early the next morning, and Mary helped her pin back her hair and put on a riding habit.

  The air was crisp and cool as she crossed from the house to the barn. She knew several of the men were taking a tour of the Stewarts’ property. Laird Stewart had hired a doctor for his village, built a school for the children, made sure each of his tenants had a home of his own. His land was thriving unlike so many others.

  Scotland was growing too, mining and trading with the world, but that money wasn’t going to the people who needed it most. The working class of Scotland was suffering with illness and poor living conditions. Her father swore they needed to support the people more. Invest money on more homes, more doctors. Like Laird Stewart had done. Like her father had done.

  The tour was to convince many lairds that it was a necessary change to keep people in Scotland rather than watching them leave for a better life in other lands.

  She knew Colin would go on the tour. He’d come as a proxy for his father. Fiona wondered if his father was having another of his fits. He’d been sick often in his life, and it wasn’t necessarily cause for concern. Except that, whenever Colin’s father took to bed, Colin changed as well.

  A little doubt crept into her mind. Was that what had kept him from her? But she shook her head. It couldn’t be. What would his father have to do with him wanting to remain only friends?

  Filling a bucket of water at the well, she carefully climbed up into the loft of the barn. She was stationed just above the entrance.

  She heard them before she saw them. The rumble of male voices. Her skin itched with anticipation. Colin deserved a little of the humiliation she was suffering because of his kisses. She was being paraded and judged like livestock on the marriage market while he whistled to the tune of proxy laird. Let him be embarrassed for a change.

  The barn door swung open and several men stepped in to the dark barn. Realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see Colin until he was near past her, she shimmied out further onto a beam, still balancing the bucket.

  It was a feat most women likely wouldn’t be able to accomplish, particularly not in a skirt, but Fiona was not most women. And as Colin walked through the door, she had a single moment where her breath caught, dazzled by how handsome he was.

  His dark hair glistened in the sun and he stood taller and broader than most of the men, his smile resting easily on his face.

  Then she remembered. He only wanted to be her friend. His actions were the reason she was here now. And in a single motion, she tipped the bucket and soaked him clean to the bone.

  He stood silently assessing himself as the men around him roared with laughter. She might have felt a moment of triumph but his kilt stuck to his thighs while his shirt clung to his rather muscular chest. The view of all those rippling muscles momentarily stopped her and it was just long enough for him to look up and see the culprit before she could scurry back across the beam and onto the loft.

  He let out a roar as she clattered across the wood slats, hoping to make it to the exterior ladder that hung from the upper door where hay was loaded. But Colin swung himself into the loft and before she could even make it halfway. He’d caught her.

  Grabbing her arm, he swung her around. “For feck’s sake, what do ye think ye’re doin’?”

  She pushed at his chest but this time he didn’t move at all which only infuriated her even more. “Ye deserve it.” She spit at him.

  “Fer what?” He looked down at her completely perplexed.

  “Yer a stupid man, like all the rest. How can ye not ken?” She threw at him. “It’s a wonder any man convinces a woman to lie wit’ him ever. Brainless twits the lot of ye.”

  “Fiona,” he growled back. “I should put ye over my knee for this.”

  “Go ahead and try,” she returned but before he could do or say anymore, she yanked her arm from his grasp. In two steps she hurled herself off the loft. Grabbing a beam she swung down and then softly landed on her feet.

  “Well I’ll be a horse’s arse,” one of the men muttered staring at her.

  “She looks like one of those monkeys the English bring back from India,” another laughed.

  Her face flamed even as Colin landed next to her. She spun on her heel away from them all and turned back toward the door. She could run in her riding habit if necessary. She’d wanted to make Colin pay, but as usual, it was her who looked like a fool.

  Her chest was heaving as she made her way back to the hou
se in the early morning air. It bit at her skin but she ignored it as she broke into a run.

  Colin was just behind her, she could hear his footsteps and see his breath. But she ignored him and picked up speed. Finally, he stopped her again but this time he didn’t grab her arm, this time, he took hold of her waist. “What the devil has gotten into you?” he ground out as he spun her in his arms.

  “What’s gotten into you?” She pushed against his chest but he only tightened his hold.

  “I’m trying to be yer friend.” Their bodies were pressed together now. She could feel the hard length of him strong and exciting but she ignored the ache that it sparked deep inside.

  “Tell me somethin’, Colin Campbell. Do ye hold any of yer other friends like this?”

  His square jaw tightened and his mouth thinned. “What does that have to do wit’ anything’?”

  “We can’t be friends. We never will be again.” Her fist banged on his chest before she clutched at his shirt fisting it in her hands. “If ye care fer me at all, ye’ll leave me in peace tae find a husband.”

  “Yer the one who tossed a bucket o’ water on me.” He held her tighter like he didn’t want to let her go even as his face was set in angry lines.

  “Because yer gettin’ off without a worry while I’m left to face the consequences,” she yelled back, her other hand fisting in his shirt.

  “What consequences?” he asked his eyes scanning her face but he knew. She could see him pale, the lines of his face draw tight.

  It was that moment that Fiona realized her mistake. She hadn’t meant to tell him. Yes, she wanted him to want her. But not out of pity. Fiona was strong enough to know she didn’t want him acting out of duty or regret. “Never mind.”

  She tried to pull out of his arms but he was so much stronger than her now, he held tight.

  “Is yer father makin’ you marry because of our night in the barn?” His voice was quiet, filled with dread.

  “It doesn’t matter, now.” She tried harder to pull out of his arms but he held her fast.