Forever in Love (Book One of the Armstrong Series)

by Rita Hestand

  She made a sour face, but followed them inside.

  It was dawn and everyone was finding a place to lie, the house was so full getting to the kitchen without stepping on someone was near impossible.

  Joe took Melanie by the hand, kissed it and smiled. "You look more beautiful than I've ever seen you!"

  "What an outright liar you are!" She laughed.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  "May I speak with my daughter alone, for a moment please." her mother glanced at George and Joe.

  They glanced at each other and shrugged.

  "Of course," George gestured to the study and the two women walked into the study and closed the door.

  Melanie glanced down at herself and realized how dirty she was and then in the small mirror on the wall, she saw her smudged face and grimaced.

  She turned to look at her mother who was still standing at the closed door. Her mother was still a very lovely woman in her mid fifties who took much pride in her appearance.

  "Something wrong Mother?" Melanie asked staring at her mother's perfect coiffured brown-gray hair.

  "I've seen very little of you since the marriage." Her mother said turning around slowly to access her daughter. Oddly, there were unshed tears in her eyes.

  "I'm sorry mother. We've been quite busy around here."

  "Really, doing what?" She couldn't figure out if she was mad or just hurt.

  "Well, I'm finally learning to cook, and I've ridden out to see Sam's place, and there are a million things to do each day mother. I'm sorry I haven't been home in a while."

  "You aren't pregnant, are you?" Her mother blurted.

  "Mother!" Melanie gasped. Had she guessed too?

  "I've warned you before, you cannot get pregnant." Mrs. Hamilton shook her head with disgust.

  "But why not mother?" Melanie protested hotly. Something stirred in Melanie. It had been her mother all along that had suggested she not get pregnant. But why?

  "It ruins the figure for one thing. You won't be the center of attention for another. And sometimes men…seek other women when their wives are pregnant. Besides the lack of doctors can be a real danger in having a child."

  Melanie had heard these stories all her life from her mother. She didn't know what was driving her mother but she realized that she had been greatly influenced by this thinking and that bothered her. Never had she realized how much she let her mother's warnings scare her.

  "Mother, Ole Jen has been a mid-wife for years. She's promised to be there if I become pregnant." Melanie grasp for reasons not to listen to her mother, this time.

  "Mid-wife. You'll need a doctor, you have small hips and if the baby is any size, you'll have a hard time. I've warned you before, and you just don't listen to me." Her mother ranted.

  "If it happens, it happens, mother…Having children is part of being married. You must know that."

  "You can prevent it."

  "How?"

  "He must withdraw beforehand. It's the simplest way…"

  "He'd never do such a thing, and I wouldn't want him to." Melanie protested. "Why are we even talking like this? After what has just happened, getting pregnant is the least of my worries now."

  "Because you are such a ninny about these things. If you become pregnant, I have a concoction you can take, to…rid yourself of the child."

  Suddenly Melanie saw the way her mother had brainwashed her into thinking she should never have children. Now her mother was talking about murder and she could not do this. She'd been an obedient child but she was grown now, capable of making her own decisions and this was going too far. The fact that her mother even suggested such a thing shocked Melanie.

  "You don't want to be a grandmother?" Melanie watched the strange reactions in her face. Such turmoil. She'd never noticed it before, but today it was there. Her mother looked so uncertain, so baffled.

  "Yes, of course I do. You must not be hasty in having a child dear. What if he suddenly decides he wants this Carmen? What if he decides you aren't enough woman for him? What if…this—this Carmen comes back into his life. You've admitted to me that she worries you. If you become pregnant he might turn to her, instead."

  "Mother, stop it!" Melanie yelled.

  "Well, it happens. I should know…" She put her hand over her own mouth, but it was too late. She'd said it, and Melanie had heard it.

  Melanie's eyes rounded on her, widening with this news. "What are you talking about? How could you know?"

  "Your father! That's what I'm talking about. He isn't dead! He left me!" Her mother's shoulders slumped, and the dejected look on her face said everything.

  "Mother!"

  In all her years, Melanie never expected this. Her mouth flew open but nothing came out. And that's when she started adding it all up. It was like taking blinders off. Seeing her mother for the first time, she realized how much she had let her control her emotions, her thoughts, and how very much her mother had suffered through the years.

  Mrs. Hamilton looked at her and hung her head for a moment. "And do you want to know why he left me?"

  "Yes…." Melanie was dumbstruck.

  "It was you children. He didn't want children, and I did. I tricked him every time. When Henry drowned, he walked off and he never came back. I had a make-believe funeral for your father and I buried him, we had a funeral without a body. Now…you know."

  Her mother sat in one of the straight back chairs and fanned herself. "I hadn't wanted to tell you this way, but it's been a burden to carry all these years."

  "Father never wanted us?"

  "No…he never held you in his arms, but twice that I know of. He never fell in love with any of you. I thought he might at first. I hoped, I dreamed. I mean all men wanted a son, and I gave him seven."

  "I often wondered why he was so cold…"

  "He married me to spite his third cousin whom he really loved. She was so beautiful, most men wanted her. However, she married a man from out of town and moved up north. To spite her, he married me. I was in love with him. At least until you and Henry were born. Then his cruelty began to seep into my bones and I couldn't stand it any longer. I thought…sometimes we think we don't want something, but when we get it, we change our minds. He never did."

  "I wasn't very old when Henry died…" Melanie recalled.

  "No, he was six, and you were four. He couldn't swim; your father couldn't tolerate any kind of cowardice, so he threw him in the river. I screamed, as I saw Henry try to swim but the current was too fast, it pulled him under and away. We found his little body two days later on a creek bed. Your father left before the funeral. I had to make up some kind of story, so I told everyone he had jumped in to save Henry, and drowned too, only we couldn't find his body."

  Her mother looked up at her.

  "Oh Mother….I'm so sorry!" Melanie cried and reached to hug her to her. "And you kept this to yourself, all these years?"

  Her mother cried for a moment, "It was a lie, but it was a good one, no one doubted it. Not one. And I figured you could all live with his death easier than the truth.

  "Henry's death about done me in for a while. I sorta went out of my mind. But I had a houseful of children to take care of, and not the luxury of losing it too long. I was bitter with your father for a long time. He didn't love you, he didn't help me take care of you. Nothing."

  "Did you ever see him again?" Melanie held her hand now and tried to comfort her.

  "No, I thought one time at a barn raising I spotted him, but whoever it was, was gone when I looked for him. It's probably for the best."

  "I'm so sorry…" Melanie cried with her a moment.

  When she straightened herself, she watched, as her mother seemed to be thinking back.

  "Why did you lie to us about it?" Melanie came toward her once more.

  "Better to think him dead than that he left us." She explained and tears rolled down her cheek. "That he never loved us."

  Melanie was torn between sympathy and anger.

&nb
sp; "So that's the real reason you don't want me to have children?" Melanie asked.

  "That's it!" Her mother turned away, not wanting to look Melanie in the eye. "Joe might leave you!"

  "All this time, telling me my husband would not love me anymore because I might get fat. That he'd run off and leave me, because that's what my father did to you?" Melanie's voice raised with each word. "Mother!"

  "I'm sorry," Her mother looked at her, her face full of anger, regrets, and fears.

  She pounded her hand on her lap. "I do want grandchildren, more than anything. But…even so, I want you to be happy with Joe. I know you love him Melanie. I'm just afraid for you…"

  Melanie looked at her and tried to smile. "Well, I'm sorry mother, but…it might be too late. You see…I think I might be pregnant."

  "What?"

  "I haven't had a monthly in some time now…"

  "Oh dear!"

  "Mother," Melanie ran to her and kneeled before her so she could look her in the eye. "I am scared, but this is Joe's baby and I want his baby. I love him mother and I've got to start trusting him."

  Her mother took the news silently, thinking on it.

  "You really think you are?"

  "Unless something is wrong with me, yes." Melanie nodded.

  "Do you want this baby?"

  "Yes, I do. I've had time to think on it. Time to consider and after what has happened today, I realize how precious life is, mother. I saw people who lost everything, and they could still smile. I saw children playing even after this. Yes, Mother, I want the child…"

  Her mother nodded slowly. "And Joe?"

  "He doesn't know yet. I haven't confirmed it with a doctor so I didn't want to tell him until I can be very sure." Melanie explained.

  "Does he want children?" Her mother asked, holding her breath and waiting for the answer.

  "Yes mother, he does. He wants a houseful of children." Melanie laughed.

  Mrs. Hamilton let out a breathless sigh, "Thank God!"

  "Yes, and you will be a grandmother!" Melanie smiled at her.

  "A grandmother…oh…Melanie…."

  "But please, don't tell either of the Armstrong men yet. I need to confirm it first." Melanie took her hands in hers.

  Her mother got to her feet and hugged her. "Oh…my God, my baby is having a baby!"

  "I am scared Mama…"

  "That's pretty natural." Her mother assured her. "And about your father…"

  "No one ever need know. If he hasn't come back in all these years, he probably never will. It will be our secret." Melanie assured her.

  Her mother looked more relaxed now and smiled. "It does feel good to tell someone what really happened. Confession must be good for the soul."

  "I don't remember much about father." Melanie confessed, feeling a loss she couldn't explain. "Did you come purposely to tell me today?"

  "And I remember too much." Her mother chuckled. "Yes I did. I was afraid when you said something about the bacon bothering you."

  "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me mother." Melanie cried.

  "No, I think it was the twister that made me confess it. It was as if I had to now." She got a far away look in her eyes. "Your father lost something very precious when he walked away from us all. I wonder if he has ever regretted it." Her mother said her tears welling in her eyes.

  Melanie grabbed her and pulled her into her arms. "I think maybe he might have, Mama. Even if he didn't want children, he lost you!"

  "I still pray for him every Sunday." Her mother admitted.

  "It's good that someone does. It's sad, we could have been a very happy family, and instead, he made it a sad family for all." Melanie smiled.

  "Your brothers don't know this. I just hadn't found the right moment to tell them. Maybe I never will. Why make them unhappy about it. We'll never see him again…"

  "All those years alone, raising us, mother, it must have been hard."

  Her mother looked at her now, "We had the house, it would have been miserable without it."

  "I'm glad you told me." Melanie smiled sadly.

  "I'm sorry, I had to, and I wasn't making much sense, even to myself today." Her mother chuckled. They walked back into the other room, hand in hand.

  "It's been some day, hasn't it?"

  "Yes, it has, and there is always tomorrow…"

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It had been a long day, full of thankfulness. But as they climbed the stairs together Joe realized it was time to talk to her about the deception. He didn't know where to begin. He didn't know what would happen after he told her. He felt a little lost, and prayed that it would work out.

  He waited until they were in their room, and they had changed clothes for bed.

  As he gathered her to him, he stared at the ceiling for a long while. I didn't think it would be this hard! Lord, what have I done?

  Then taking a deep breath he took her hand in his and played with it, lacing his fingers through hers.

  "Melanie, you know I love you don't you?"

  Melanie looked at their hands and then into his eyes, "Of course I do."

  "I'm glad, because I've got something to tell you, and I'm not sure how you are going to take it." Joe began. "I'm not sure you will still feel the same way when I'm through."

  Melanie glanced up at him, propping herself on her elbow to listen. "Must be a day for revelations." She smiled at him.

  "I've wrestled with telling you ever since I came back. But just being with you, just seeing you, just loving you, seemed enough. Now, it's time to tell you. The things we've been through lately, and the fact that my brother is returning home soon has forced me to admit something." Joe went on. "I'm not ashamed or sorry for what I've done, but…I am sorry if I've hurt you in any way."

  "Darling, I love you. You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" She smiled contentedly.

  "I truly hope so. I hope you can come to understand why I did it. But I fear…it might take some time."

  "I'm listening." She continued, she smiled and kissed him gently on the lips.

  "When the war was over and Sam and I got together, we made a pact. We mutually agreed on this pact. We thought it a brilliant idea and it has been working wonderfully, but it's time I told you about it. Time I faced you with it. This pact we made was for the betterment of all concerned, not meant to hurt or even create a real problem and perhaps it wouldn't have if I'd been completely honest with you from the start."

  "A pact. What kind of pact?" She continued to send little kisses all over his face.

  "A personal one. One that we thought would make everyone happy at the same time."

  "That doesn't sound so ominous." She added, almost ready to turn over. "We are one, my love. You can tell me anything."

  He stopped her. "Wait, there's more…"

  "Alright, but…it's getting late…." Melanie insisted. "And I'm a little weak in the knees from laying here naked with you. Can it wait until morning?

  "No darling. Morning might be too late. I've got to tell you while I've got the courage to."

  "Is it that bad?" She smiled at him.

  "I don't know. I've been meaning to tell you about it, for some time. Just hadn't gotten my courage up. But it's time. Carmen and Sam will be here soon and you'll learn it from them. There's no easy way to say this…but Melanie…I'm not Joe Armstrong!" Joe said aloud.

  Melanie was very still. She frowned at him and shook her head. "You're not. Well…then who are you?" She laughed good-naturedly.

  "I'm Sam…."

  "Sam who?" She asked.

  "Sam Armstrong!"

  For a moment she was entirely still, not moving, not speaking, not anything. Now she was staring at him, really staring. Her eyes widened and she pulled away from him for a moment. "You're…Sam!"

  "Yes…I'm Sam…not Joe," he admitted staring at her reaction.

  Her facial features changed a couple of times before she ever spoke a word.

  "Is this some kind of j
oke?" She asked getting out of bed and pacing the rug in front of her.

  "No, it's the truth!" He tried to stop her pacing but she jerked away from him. Obviously, she needed time to assimilate what he was saying.

  Her eyes became big pools of tears. "Why!" she gasped. "Are you trying to make a fool of me?"

  Joe sat on the edge of the bed. His head bent, his shoulders slumped, and a sigh escaping his lips. "I was madly in love with you for years. And…Joe was madly in love with Carmen. I know that must be hard to swallow, hard to believe after all of this. I'm sorry I had to tell you this way, but it's the truth. We figured if we switched places, then you and I could be happy together and the two of them could be happy. You see…I've loved you since the day I accidently pushed you in the creek. You didn't get mad, remember. Instead you laughed. I fell in love that day, with you. I've wanted to tell you a million times, but…how could I when all you ever saw was Joe? The way things were going I would never have you, and he would never have Carmen and we would all end up miserable. I never loved Carmen. It's always been you. But…now I must face the fact that I could lose you…"

  "I can't believe you've done this!"

  "We were both desperate to have a good future. And with the women we loved."

  "Joe's really in love with Carmen?"

  "Yes, they plan to marry."

  "And your father, does he know?"

  "No…father must never know. He couldn't accept it. And, it could kill him. Don't you see, it was the only way…?"

  Melanie stopped and turned to look at him.

  "How could you do this?" She asked her expression fleeting from a frown to confusion.

  "None of this was a lie, but our names…"

  "But I thought….I thought, oh my God! What did I think?"

  "I know you thought you loved Joe. But Joe didn't love you back. I did. I've loved you for years. Joe loves Carmen; father would never accept him running this place with Carmen as his wife. Joe thought it fair, since I'd always gotten kind of a raw deal from father. He called it justice." He confessed. "But…Golden Manor doesn't mean anything, without you by my side. And I want to know that it is I that you love…"