What Could Have

by D. C. Stone

  Once settled, she reconsidered their plan. She didn’t realize just how close the two of them would be to one another, and didn’t count on his presence overwhelming her so much. Power radiated off him. She was more than aware of him. And her fantasies were more than aware of what he must look like beneath his BDU’s.

  She took a step away and focused on his back. He had wide, strong shoulders that shifted each time he moved. She trailed down, her gaze falling on a narrow waist and an ass so damn plump she had to bite down a groan.

  Lucas, so in tuned with his role in the exercise, missed her perusal. He looked like a model member of the military, his eyes scanning, his attention alert. But the man beneath that façade? He was her biggest fantasy.

  Annabelle examined the odd feeling in her chest and tried to come up with a name for it. Friendship, gratitude, and a deeper trust spooled, but something else hid deeper. Something she didn’t quite understand. Lucas had quickly become her best friend. She thought back on how they had been inseparable since the beginning of tech school. She was with him constantly with the exception of when they had to sleep and shower.

  Her thoughts came to a screeching halt.

  Lucas.

  In the shower…

  Her stomach fluttered and a warm tingling sensation started between her legs. When her vision grew darker, she realized she’d been holding her breath and took in a sudden gulp of oxygen.

  The crinkle in his eyes broke through her haze/day—er—nightdream. He’d just caught her staring at him. Thank God for camo paint. At least it covered her burning cheeks. He opened his mouth, but the crackle of the radio interrupted him. They both leaned in to listen.

  The transmission indicated a separate position being attacked one mile away. She and Lucas sighed with relief, and the tension in her released. She couldn’t breathe with him so close, though, and after the thoughts she had just been thinking, she needed air, cool air. She needed to get away from him before she jumped on him.

  Stepping around him, she hitched her hands to the side of the hole and pulled out. Her arms screamed with the movement and the capped-off end of her rifle slammed into the back of her calf. She winced and turned to rub at the muscle, and caught Lucas’ glare. “They’re miles away, Luc. Come on.”

  “Don’t be silly. Who knows where the other instructors are.”

  She glanced around, unable to deny his argument. He was right. But panic licked a path through her at the thought of getting back into the hole with him just yet. “That’s true, but we can lay out here and still keep an eye on things.” She smiled. “Come on, I want to show you something.” She gestured over her shoulder. He looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

  “What…chicken? Brock, brock, brock.” She winced and laughed, shaking her head. She had never been one for sound effects. She sounded like a pig trying to give birth. Lucas laughed and held up his hands in surrender.

  “Okay, okay. I give. I’m coming.” He pulled his large body out of the foxhole with an easiness that brought her a moment of envy. He was built for activity. It didn’t help that there were a few physical things she wanted to do with him. What would he look like above her as he settled between her thighs? Would his muscles shift with each movement, or would he hold himself in complete control?

  He snapped his fingers and waved a hand in her face. “Earth to Anna.”

  “Shit, sorry.”

  He eyed her warily, asked, “What were you thinking about?” Tilting his head, he waited for her answer, his expression one like he really wanted to know.

  “None ya.”

  He shook his head. “Out with it, Anna. Just right now, what were you thinking?”

  She turned her back to him. “Nope. Not happening. In fact, I can’t even remember now. Sorry, must be the lack of sleep and all.”

  He caught her arm, and she tilted her head to him. Jesus, she knew that expression, could see the determination in his thick eyebrows, in the set of his jaw, behind his piercing gaze.

  “Uh huh,” he started, “you look at me like that again, Annabelle, and I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

  Her eyes widened and she swore he could hear her heart pounding out a beat that made her head spin. She sat on the ground to cover her reaction, or before her knees gave out. He followed a few seconds later. He couldn’t have meant that, could he?

  “Are you actually flirting with me, Luc?” The question came out unintentionally sarcastic.

  He smirked and leaned back to rest his hands behind his head. Long, lean, and seeming completely at ease, he looked like a panther stretched out. Laying beside him, the position of their bodies and the night sky closing in around them made the scene feel intimate. More so than inside the foxhole. “Is it such a surprise?”

  She scoffed, having heard all about Lucas’ past from Tony. “No, it’s not. Anything with legs, right?”

  She felt his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, she continued staring up at the sky, wishing like hell he was flirting with her for other reasons. It was just Lucas though. He didn’t think of her like that.

  * * * * *

  At one point in time, she would have been right. Lucas flirted and he flirted well. Lately, his intentions of any kind of intimacy had been exclusively with her, though.

  When did that change?

  He pondered the question. It started when he came back from a week of emergency leave. The first day they arrived at tech school, the training commander told him his Grandfather had passed. He remembered the despair, the feeling of loss, and wanting to go home and drown in the comfort of his family.

  He received a week’s paid leave that sent him home and away from Annabelle. The thought of leaving her forever, in not seeing her again, had his chest tightening like a noose around his neck at the time. Her class was due to start the next day, and he wouldn’t be there to watch her, keep an eye on her, be with her. Due to the circumstances, he was forced to start training a week later, with a whole new class. The end of things between them had arrived. He wanted to ask her to stay behind for him, and he almost considered not going home. He hadn’t been ready to part with her just yet. But he couldn’t tell her any of that. He couldn’t be that big of a dick and take what he wanted. It wasn’t fair to his grandfather, to his family, to himself, or to Annabelle.

  So he took the Commander up on his offer, and left within hours, hopping on the next flight home to Tampa, Florida.

  A week later, he came back to Texas and walked through the training gates of their compound, his mind automatically gravitating to Annabelle. It wasn’t like she’d left his head in that time he’d been home, but he had a strong urge to find her and lay his eyes on her.

  It was the middle of the day and quiet, most of the people gone for the day’s training.

  He signed in, went to his room to unpack and change, then came out an hour later and spotted Annabelle across the courtyard, staring back at him.

  The moment froze in his head and would forever be branded there. Seeing her made everything right. He hadn’t wanted to come back, was still dealing with the grief of losing someone who meant the world to him. Seeing her started a confliction of emotions, ones he didn’t entirely understand.

  But what he learned next sent his mind swirling into a vortex of confusion. She should have been in training, and when he asked her why she wasn’t, her response shocked him into silence and stole the words out of his head. He never would have thought she’d do something for him.

  “The class before was too full so I volunteered to stay behind. For you.”

  He didn’t want to admit he cared for her, didn’t even want to admit he was attracted to her. But at this rate, he could be the walking model for Viagra. He didn’t do relationships, didn’t get mixed up with feelings. But with Annabelle, he wanted to feel.

  If he liked a female, he went after her until she was beneath him on a bed.

  Annabelle was different.

  Her voice pulled him out of the past.
Her long slender fingers gestured across the sky. “You ever hear the difference between stars and planets?” she asked.

  He shook his head, but instead of looking up, he focused on her. “No, but I’m sure you’re going tell me.”

  She flashed him a quick grin before turning back to the sky. He studied the line of her perfect nose, her lush lips, her slender neck. Imagined what she’d taste like. Camo paint be dammed.

  “Of course, you know me so well,” she teased. “Stars actually twinkle when we look at them. If we were in space, though, they’d be emitting a steady stream of light. But our atmosphere causes the light to zig zag as it passes through, so the effect has been called “twinkling” for us.”

  “Uh huh…” He only paid half-attention. Instead, he imagined pulling her into his arms, kissing along her neck, feeling her arch into his touch... She’d be so soft beneath him, all lush and warm, welcoming him into the comfort of her curves. They’d fit, he knew this without a doubt.

  Desire surged through him, and behind his fly, he went half-mast.

  “When you look at the stars though, have you noticed that some don’t twinkle?”

  “Uh uh…”

  She turned to him, her face wary. Probably because of his vast vocabulary. Shit. She gave him an exasperated, quizzical look. “No? Well look now. Pick something out.”

  He really didn’t want to. He liked what he was looking at just fine. But at the rate his cock was paying attention to her, and with where his thoughts were going, maybe her idea was a good one. He leaned back on the grass, bent a knee to prevent giving his reaction to her away, and looked up. He tried to clear his mind, but damn, it was hard.

  Literally.

  “Do you see the steady streams of light?” She pointed off in a general direction. He didn’t, but lied anyway. “Uh, oh yeah. I see it.”

  “That’s a planet.”

  “Hmmmm.” He guessed it could be true. But since all the blood had traveled south in him, everything looked a bit out of focus.

  “Don’t you see it? The light isn’t pulsing or twinkling, right?” she asked.

  “Well, yeah, but why would it be steady? Didn’t you just say the atmosphere causes the light to twinkle?”

  “Yeah, but that’s because those stars are farther away than the planets.”

  She shifted as if she were excited. He liked getting this glimpse into her mind. Something where she didn’t put up this hardened exterior and pretend she was someone else.

  “Think about this, if you actually really wonder about it, we could be looking at the light from a star now, which probably doesn’t exist anymore.”

  “Huh? You lost me.”

  “What’s even better,” a low, menacing voice sounded from behind them, and they both went rigid. “Is that you both are now dead. On your feet!”

  Oh shit…

  * * * * *

  Shit…Again.

  Annabelle stood at attention, Lucas next to her. They faced their squad, many of which had their faces contorted in the same Oh, what have you done now? expression. She couldn’t communicate back with them as it was only her and Lucas at attention, not the class.

  Why?

  Well, she’d gone and done it again. She dropped her guard, and was suffering the SOP—standing operating procedure—for what happened when you were doing something your weren’t supposed to be doing.

  Note to self: Stay in foxhole next time.

  “All right, Flight Delta Niner, anyone want to remind all of us what our assigned task for the night was?”

  A few hands went up and the Instructor ignored them, turned to her and Lucas instead.

  “Trainee Angotta? You want to try?”

  “Sir,” Lucas bellowed, “we were to stay on watch and keep the perimeter secure, Sir!”

  “Ahhh,” the instructor growled, and disappeared from Anna’s peripheral as he stepped behind her. “And, did the perimeter stay secure, Trainee?”

  “No, Sir,” Lucas answered, and she briefly fluttered her eyes closed.

  All her fault. Crapola.

  “And why’s that, Trainee Turner,” a voice asked next to her ear, and she jumped slightly.

  “Because we failed to stay observant, Sir,” she squeaked. It came out more like a question than a statement and, oh boy, didn’t that just piss the Instructor off. She didn’t guess at this, she knew from the sound of his sharply sucked in breath.

  “Trainee Turner! Trainee Angotta. Have you two ever heard of five-fifty-six pick up?”

  Anna didn’t answer because she was momentarily confused. Wasn’t it called fifty-two pick up? Lucas’ words rang sharp and true across the dark, night sky. “No, Sir!”

  “Well,” the Instructor started, “lucky for you, I’m here to help you all out with that, right?”

  The sound of jiggling metal, a distinct noise she hadn’t heard before, reached her ears. Seven trainees walked past her, big tins in each arm. They stopped at a field and looked at the Instructor.

  “Go ahead now, troops.”

  They lifted the tins and tossed their contents into the middle of an open field. Beside her, Lucas sucked in a breath.

  “Shit,” he mumbled.

  “Shit is right, Trainee,” the Instructor boomed. “That’s the brass you all policed yesterday after firing your M16s. All the empty casings are now scattered across the field and I think we need to do mother earth here a favor and pick it up. How about it, troops?”

  A few HUAs went out amongst the crowd, but the Instructor lifted his hand again and halted everyone in place.

  “Well, I think that’s just the most touching thing I’ve ever seen,” he said sarcastically. “All of you willing to go out there and clean up a field. Nevertheless, seeing as I’m in such a good mood tonight, I’m willing to dismiss all but two from tonight’s duties. Now tell me, does that make me a nice guy?”

  A chorus of HUAs went out again, this time louder.

  “Shit,” Anna echoed.

  “Shit is right, trainees. Everyone but Angotta and Turner are dismissed!” He turned to them then. “You two, you better find my brass, and if you don’t find it all before the sun comes up tomorrow morning, we’ll dump it out again, and have to keep trying until we get it right, HUA?”

  “HUA,” they both answered.

  Four

  “Finally!” Annabelle beamed at Lucas as she headed down the patio walkway.

  He sucked in a deep breath, fighting for control. Her thick, long brown hair lay freely around her shoulders. The tendrils bounced with each step, as if the wind teased and played with the strands, stroking them as the late sun shined, capturing glints of golden highlights. He had never been a jealous man, never thought he could be jealous over Mother Nature. But right now, right there, he saw green.

  Her low-cut red shirt gave him a teasing glimpse of her cleavage. Her breasts swayed with her body’s movements, and he had to work to keep his eyes from straying. Her jeans rode low on her hips and fit every curve of her body like a glove. It was as if her legs had been poured into the denim. She lifted her hand and ran it through her hair. The action caused her shirt to ride up and give him a glimpse of bare, golden skin beneath.

  He groaned.

  Instead of dragging her toward his room and spending hours alone with Annabelle, giving in to each of his urges, he answered her smile with one of his own and fell into step beside her.

  “I take it you’re looking forward to a night out on the town?”

  Her low chuckle rolled over his skin like a lover’s touch, and he had to bite back another groan. He was never going to survive the night.

  “I can’t wait. I just need to breathe, I feel like I haven’t taken a deep breath since we arrived in Texas.”

  They stepped out of the squadron gates and spotted the taxi with several other trainees waiting. Tony and Jessica, Annabelle’s dorm mate, were in the bunch. Tony’s eyes widened as they approached. He shot Lucas a smug look and in response for not so subtle I knew it, Lu
cas glared.

  “Well, let’s go get some fresh air, shall we?” He tossed an arm over her shoulder. She smiled up at him and snaked her arm around his waist.

  He realized two things at once: one, his body was a traitorous bastard, being this close to Annabelle a disaster waiting to happen. The second: how right it felt. His Anna at his side…

  His? Where the fuck had that come from?

  He had no claim on her, hadn’t made a single move to stake anything. There was no way he’d missed some of the looks she gave him. It wouldn’t work in the short time they had together. He wasn’t willing to ruin their friendship so he could have a few weeks of questionable time with her. Even if he wanted to be with Annabelle, the time they would have wasn’t guaranteed. While they had more privacy in tech school than in basic training, they were still watched constantly.

  He removed his arm and ignored how bereft it made him feel.

  Hopping in the van, he had to debate a moment and eyed two open seats: one beside Tony, the other next to Annabelle. If he was going to keep his distance tonight, he needed to start now. His attraction toward her could go no further, and once they were off base and things relaxed a bit, he knew exactly what decisions he had to make in order to take that dreamy look out of her eyes. Keeping her at arm’s length was the only way. Encouraging her dreams-in-the-eye fascination couldn’t go on.

  He thinned his lips. Ignoring Annabelle’s face, he slid on the leather next to Tony who snorted under his breath, crossed his arms, shook his head, and looked out the window. Lucas sighed and pretended to focus on their surroundings, but he could almost feel the frown Annabelle gave him, or the glare she tossed his way, especially when the hair on the back of his neck rose.

  Goddamn, the temptation to be close to her was just too much. He had to keep his distance and protect what precious friendship they had.

  Wasn’t that something? He, the male who could juggle more than one woman and never worried about emotions or got tangled up in them. He who didn’t make friends with females, but rather got them in bed to give and receive pleasure, was fighting those urges with Annabelle. He was so damn confused. The constant mind fuck where things concerned her didn’t help in trying to keep the situation straight.