Hip Check

by Deirdre Martin

  With that, Michelle got up and walked to her room.

  There was nothing left to say; Michelle had said it all. Esa’s parents were silent, but it wasn’t his mother’s usual spiky silence. It was more the absolute quiet that comes when you know you don’t have a leg to stand on.

  “Would you like some more tea?” Esa asked his parents quietly. “We could even go out to lunch if you’d like. Nell comes home from school around three thirty if you’d like to see her.”

  “I think, maybe, another time,” said his father, not meeting his eye.

  “But you’ve come all this way,” said Esa, and he meant it.

  “Even so,” said his mother. She touched his father’s sleeve and they rose. “We’ll be talking soon about the summer? Nell visiting Finland?” she asked Esa awkwardly.

  “Yes,” Esa promised. “I’d want to come as well.”

  “Why not bring the nanny, too,” his father murmured. “I’m sure she’s never been to Finland. She’d enjoy it.”

  “Yes, I’ll ask her.”

  He followed his parents to the door, helping them on with their jackets.

  “We’ll speak soon,” his father said, echoing his mother’s words as he squeezed Esa’s shoulder, his version of an apology.

  “Yes, of course.”

  He felt more awkward with his mother, knowing she was the one behind this folly. It was only now, sensing her sadness, that it dawned on him that one of the reasons she might want Nell was because her own daughter was gone to her forever, and Nell was the only link left. Or maybe she thought that somehow, through Nell, she could fix the mistakes she’d made with Danika. All Esa knew was that this was the first time he’d ever sensed her as being truly vulnerable.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” he tried one final time. “I could book you into a hotel.”

  “We’ve already done that.” She hesitated, then kissed him on both cheeks. “We’re sorry about your—pain,” she said, the word not coming to her easily. “All of it. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  “Call me when you get back, so I know you arrived safely.”

  “Of course.”

  His parents departed, leaving a trail of personal remorse behind them. It was so different to what Esa was feeling, the gratitude inside him that he needed to pour out to Michelle right now. Overwhelmed, he made his way to her room.

  51

  “They left?”

  Michelle was standing at her bedroom window, trying to stem the tears pouring from her eyes when Esa knocked and entered. She’d spoken to his parents the only way she knew how: honestly. She wasn’t exaggerating when she’d said that separating Esa and Nell would break both their hearts. What she’d neglected to mention was that it would break hers as well. Esa sat on the edge of her bed. “Yes, they’re gone.”

  “I’m sorry.” Michelle continued swiping at her eyes with a tissue. “That was very presumptuous of me.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “I’m surprised they didn’t want to stick around and see Nell. I was sure that since they’d come all this way—”

  “I think you scared them off.”

  Michelle was clearly horrified. “That was a joke,” Esa assured her gently. “I thought they would stick around, too, but no. Maybe they felt it would be too painful since they wouldn’t be bringing Nell back to Finland with them. I don’t know.”

  “Jesus, Esa.” Michelle sat down on the bed beside him. “How could they think—”

  “I know.”

  Michelle felt a resurgence of indignity. “Seriously, it looked like they were just biding their time, waiting for you to screw up. Did they really think Nell would just pack up and leave her home?”

  Esa paused, looking at her with interest. “Did you mean what you said, how a happy life for Nell is wherever I am?”

  Michelle hesitated a moment, then cupped his cheek. If he removed her hand, so be it. “How can you even ask that? Of course I meant it.”

  Esa nodded, closing his eyes as he put his hand over hers. “I can’t thank you enough. You didn’t have to do that. You’re right: the thought of being without Nell is intolerable to me.” He opened his eyes, so blue and clear and startlingly intense. “The thought of being without either of you is intolerable. I want us to be ‘a real family.’” He took her hand, twined his fingers through hers. “I love you, Michelle.”

  She looked down at their joined hands, waiting for a storm to kick up inside her. But it didn’t, because this was actually the calm after the storm, the quiet space where she realized that what she’d told Esa’s parents about him wasn’t only about making sure he and Nell weren’t lost to one another. It was about making sure Esa wasn’t lost to her, too.

  “I love you, too,” she said quietly, looking up into his eyes. They looked at each other and both burst out laughing in a release of months of tension.

  They were still laughing as they tumbled together onto the bed. They lay face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes, neither one moving.

  “Say it to me in Finnish,” Michelle whispered.

  “Min rakustan sunua.”

  Michelle was confused. “I could swear I’ve heard that before.”

  “You have. When you called me at Met Gar and told me to hurry home, I said it to you as I hung up the phone. It just came out.”

  “As natural as can be.”

  “Yes.” Esa slowly ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across her lower lip, occasionally lingering. Tell me, he asked with his eyes, looking so deeply into hers she feared he’d guess all her secrets.

  Michelle smiled wickedly, and very slowly, very deliberately, took his right index finger into her mouth and began sucking on it, her eyes never leaving his face. Esa inhaled sharply, but then relaxed into it, the way she took each of the fingers on that hand in turn and sucked. But when she took the index finger of his right hand again and not only sucked, but began to move it in and out of her mouth with a naughty look on her face, his breathing changed, his pupils dilated. He pulled his finger out of her mouth.

  “You’re torturing me.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  “Maybe not.”

  Agreed upon torture, then. Neither of them moved. They just lay there, looking at each other, smiling secret smiles. Waiting. Who’d do what next? In the meantime, desire was unfurling within Michelle, inch by scorching inch. It wasn’t just the way Esa’s eyes had latched on to her face with a look of unabashed lust; it was knowing that she’d be the one to satisfy him.

  She edged closer to him, planting a series of kisses up his jawline. “How’s that?” she whispered, stopping right beneath his earlobe, which she nipped with her teeth. “That okay?”

  Esa laughed huskily. “More than okay. Mmm, is this okay?”

  He flicked the very tip of his tongue against her earlobe. Michelle’s eyes closed as she reveled in the sensation of him pressing against her neck, his hot breath bringing small groans of pleasure to her lips. She reached out, fisting her hand in his still damp hair, that bore the faintest scents of lavender and citrus. She moved her palm to his neck, feathering her fingers there. Michelle smiled to herself as Esa went very still. His skin was thrillingly hot to the touch, but she wanted to feel it more intensely. She lightly lifted her fingers from his neck, snaking her hand up under his T-shirt.

  Christ. His skin was burning. Hard muscles rippled beneath the splayed palm of her hand as she moved her hand across his chest. Esa began breathing again, but there was an undercurrent of desperation to it that turned Michelle on. She shoved the material of his T-shirt up, and began feverishly kissing his chest.

  “Fuck,” Esa whispered.

  His own hands came up, cupping her breasts. “Mmm,” Michelle purred, the demanding pulse of her heart beginning to make itself known. If Esa’s sexy smile was anything to go by, he wanted it as badly as she did: his fingers nimbly unbuttoned her blouse before reaching around for her bra and unclasping it. Michelle wa
tched as he licked the pads of his thumbs, and then put them to her nipples, circling gently. Michelle felt the first wave of pure hunger wash over her as he continued, gently tweaking, then putting his wet thumbs to her again and blowing on the nipples. Michelle arched, pushing her hips against his. She could feel him there, thrilled when he began to gently rock against her, now bringing his face to nuzzle her breasts, his other arm reaching around her to squeeze her ass.

  The friction, slow and deliberate, seemed such a simple thing, yet the force of it shocked Michelle. He was scrambling her senses. All she could think about was the ache inside her, how it demanded release, how he was the only one who could do it for her.

  Burning up, Michelle tugged at the zipper of his jeans, opening them just enough for her to comfortably slide her hand beneath the waistband of his briefs and begin fondling him. His dick was long and hard in her hand, throbbing with its own pulse. When she circled the tip once with her thumb, spreading the pre-cum over the head, Esa jerked his head up to look at her. “Fuck me,” she mouthed.

  He growled, roughly yanking her hand out of his briefs before rolling away from her to tear off his clothing. The sight of his magnificent ass, the rock-hard shoulders and back that tapered to a perfect V at his waist, had Michelle quickly doing the same. He rolled onto his back, pulling Michelle on top of him. Michelle lifted her hips, slowly guiding Esa deep inside her. She lifted her hips again, pushing back down on his dick slowly. Then again. And again. Each time she moved up and down, she reveled in the way he filled her, feeling triumphant with each groan and grunt he made. When he put his index finger to her clit and began wildly rubbing her as she rode him, Michelle quickly lost control, crying out her pleasure as her pussy tightened and released around him in a series of intense spasms. Finally, she was spent. Smiling down at him, she grabbed his shoulders and rolled them so he was now on top of her.

  They smiled at each other as he began moving inside her, each strike of his hips against hers like two flints creating fire. Faster. More. Was she saying the words aloud or just in her head? Did it matter? Michelle’s breath grew ragged as Esa thrust harder and harder, the intensity of her own response signaling another lucky tumble into orgasm. Esa was frenzied now, all taut concentration intent on release. And when he came with an unmistakable cry of pleasure that ended on a laugh, Michelle found herself laughing, too. This was joy. This was crazy. This was love.

  52

  “Kaunis tytto.”

  Michelle snuggled closer into the crook of Esa’s shoulder for a second before asking him what he’d just said. She knew it must be something wonderful, because he’d said it in such a loving, tender voice. She felt like they were the only two people in the world, and it was thrilling. Anything they desired could happen. It was up to them and no one else.

  She lifted her head and looked at him, so handsome even in repose, the sun coming through her windows hitting his cheekbones at just the right angle. His eyes were closed. He looked happy and relaxed.

  “What did you just say?” she asked, resting her head back on the pillow.

  “Beautiful girl,” Esa murmured. “Because you are.”

  Michelle blushed. “Thank you.”

  “Why are you thanking me? It’s the truth.”

  Michelle scootched her body a few inches away from his so she could fully take him in. The way the sheets draped perfectly over his slim hips, the sculpted upper torso and arms . . . gorgeous. Beautiful. He was a beautiful man.

  “I bet every woman you’ve ever slept with has told you you’re beautiful.”

  Esa raised an eyebrow. “Does that matter?”

  Michelle blushed again. “No.”

  Esa propped himself up on one elbow, cupping his chin in the palm of his hand. “So . . . Nell?”

  “Nell.” Michelle rolled onto her back with a smile. “Nell will be ecstatic.”

  “When we tell her, I think we should stress that things are permanent and she doesn’t have to worry about complications ever breaking us apart.”

  “I agree completely.”

  “So no matter where I end up playing, you’ll be there?”

  “Of course.” Michelle grabbed his free hand, kissing his knuckles fervently. “I can’t believe you even asked that! You and Nell are my home, Esa. Not some physical locale.” She pressed her lips to the hollow of his collarbone, moving up to his neck, and then cheek. “Do you know how much I love you?”

  Esa laughed. “Bet you never thought you’d be saying that.”

  “God, I hated you,” Michelle recalled with amusement.

  “You wanted to hate me,” Esa corrected. “But you didn’t. And it bugged the hell out of you.”

  “You have to admit, you were pretty clueless. Selfish, even.”

  “I admit it completely,” Esa said without hesitation. “But you were still attracted to me.”

  “Egomaniac!”

  “Just stating the truth,” Esa insisted plainly. His hand brushed her breast, sending a shiver of pleasure through her body. “It was the same way with me: I was attracted to you, but I didn’t want to be. It didn’t seem right. And you were so bossy. It bothered me that I liked it a little.”

  “I’m still bossy.”

  “And I still like it.”

  Esa kissed her forehead, then let out a small groan of misery. “I almost wish we didn’t have a game tonight.”

  Michelle was surprised. “Seriously?”

  “Sometimes it’s hard to maintain absolute focus with this ax hanging over my head. If I fuck up, blame is placed squarely at my feet because of all this contract crap—or lack of one, I should say.”

  Michelle smoothed back his hair. “Maybe focusing on something positive could help you concentrate?” she suggested tentatively. “Like . . . thinking about you, me, and Nell finally being a family?”

  Esa cheered a bit. “I wish it were that simple. But it certainly can’t hurt.”

  * * *

  It had been a tough game. The Blades and Philly traded goals for three periods, leaving them tied 3-3 at the end of regulation. With so few games left in the regular season and the two teams tied in the standings as well, the winner would likely end up with home ice advantage all the way through the playoffs. Philly seemed willing to play it close to the vest and take their chances in a shoot out. But before overtime even started, Coach Dante had told them to go for it. Esa took him at his word.

  Esa’s line took the ice after a Philly shot had been deflected into the netting, leading to a face-off in the Blades’ zone. Rory was tossed from the face-off, and Esa took the draw. Glancing back at Eric Mitchell before settling to take the face-off, Esa sensed they were on the same page. If he won the drawback to Eric, he was definitely going to go for it. The Philly center dawdled for a few seconds, but the linesman barked for him to put his stick down. The moment his blade hit the ice, the linesman dropped the puck. Esa, anticipating the drop, caught it in midair and swept it back to Eric in the left corner. Eric gathered the puck on his backhand and lofted the puck toward center ice.

  The moment after he’d won the draw, Esa had taken off. There was only one thought in his mind: end this game now. He didn’t bother looking back to see if Eric had lobbed the puck down the ice. He knew where the puck would be. He was right. Skating faster than he’d ever skated before. Skating the way he’d dreamed of all those years playing on ponds in Helsinki, he gained a step on both Philly defensemen. Gathering the puck on the Philly side of center ice, Esa had a stride on everyone else. He knew no one could catch him.

  Despite their desperation, the Flyer defensemen couldn’t close the ground. In fact, Esa pulled even further ahead. When he crossed the Philly blue line, he looked at the goaltender who’d shuffled out a few strides past the top of the crease and was slowly backing up, in sync with Esa’s strides forward. Esa’s mind raced through all his shots against this goaltender. High to the glove side twice. High to the stick side once. Esa knew the goalie was thinking the same, despite there being
only seconds for both of them to think. He’s ready for a shot. When he reached the slot, Esa faked as if he would shoot, and then pulled the puck wide to his forehand side. The goalie froze for a moment, anticipating a shot high to either side. But he was good. When the shot didn’t come, he’d gone into the butterfly and kicked out his left pad, covering the bottom of the net. But Esa knew he’d have to go high: with the puck on his forehand, he lifted it over the outstretched leg pad into the back of the net. That’s when he knew.

  * * *

  “Twelve point five million, three years. Not bad, considering their original offer was nine million. I think we should take it.”

  Russell had given Esa the thumbs-up as he wrapped up his call with Kidco, grinning across the rectangular divide of his desk.

  Esa wasn’t sure who would be happier with a guarantee of three more years in New York: him or Michelle. He knew she’d meant it when she said she’d go wherever his career took him, but he was relieved for both their sakes that they were staying put. This was where her family was, and Nell finally thought of Manhattan as “home.” The idea that she might have to be uprooted—again—killed him.

  He and Michelle hadn’t yet told Nell the good news that they were back together. Life had been a little crazy the past few days, and they wanted breaking the news to her to be special. Michelle had ordered a custom ice cream cake from Ben & Jerry’s in Nell’s favorite flavor, triple caramel chunk. Esa was going to pick it up after he was done with Russ. They would tell her tonight after dinner, and celebrate.

  Russ put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. “Where are you? I just gave you the best news of your fucking life and you’re spacing out on me?”

  “Second best news,” Esa said with a grin.

  Esa’s agent looked confused for a minute, then broke into a big smile. “The niece, huh? Everything’s turned out well?”