by Nana Malone
Cara covered her face as she laughed. No wonder Sam had known something was off. Her wig was so terrible.
“You have to do what's best for you. If you need to run, run. All I’m saying is don't do it prematurely. All you have to do a sit tight for a couple of weeks. Just make yourself real busy. Then likely your worries will be over. Axel Nicholson doesn't come home often. He’ll be busy too I’m sure."
Cara's heart hammered a mile a minute. She had to tamp down the urge to flee. After all, she’d expected this at some point. When she left behind her old life, and turned in her boss to the feds, she’d always expected it would be another hacker type, or perhaps some of the underworld guys her boss associated with, would come after her.
She never really expected it would be the FBI. Though, in hindsight, it was possible. When she'd done the whistleblower dance she'd handed over all the information she had. She wasn't an idiot though, she'd made copies. The feds wanted her to come in and testify. Thing was she knew that was going to put a target on her back. So she'd blown town. Given herself an out.
Unfortunately, that meant that even with the evidence, her boss got a lighter sentence. Ten years in federal prison. Which was good. That meant she had another few years of safety. Cara knew she would have to shed the Corin identity soon. It had already been a year and a half. She’d stayed here too long.
Maybe it was time to go now. But she didn't want to. Yes, there was a part of her that didn't want to hide who she was anymore. That at least wanted to be able to look like a woman. To date, to do normal shit. But that was dangerous. Wanting those kinds of things was dangerous. There was no way anyone she was with would understand. Not to mention, the FBI had put out a little missing persons notice about her back when she disappeared three years ago. They may not still be looking for her, but she wasn't taking that risk.
The more separation she could put between Cara Jensen and her current life, the safer she would be.
"Look, I hear what you’re saying. But it's risky."
Sam sighed. "Look, to me, your life is more important than me getting to see you everyday. You’re my best friend. Maybe you can at least stay until my birthday next week. If it's the last time I get to see you, then we’ll do it up right. Go to Tahoe, do a girl’s weekend. We might even meet cute guys. I can’t even imagine what it’s like being you right now. I mean, no flirting, no dating, no nothing.”
“Sometimes it sucks.” Sam didn’t know the half of it. But Cara wasn’t going to burden her friend with the details. This was about survival.
“I mean, just how much use is your B.O.B getting?”
“Too much. That’s what led me out to Tahoe that weekend. I just wanted to go out, be a girl for a minute.”
“I guess I didn't really understand. Just don't do anything drastic right now because you’re panicked. You can't jump every time you meet someone who might have an idea of who you are."
Cara stopped pacing and met her best friend's gaze. Sam had a point. If she ran now because she was panicked and she didn't fill out her new back-story completely, she was more likely to get caught. She needed to do everything discreetly and take her time. So maybe she wasn't running just yet. Maybe it was time to lay the foundation of her new self first. Maybe Florida or something.
"Okay, you have a point. Plus, I would never miss your birthday. I'll be staying here at least through then. But you and I have to come to terms with the fact that I have to leave eventually. And right now it looks like that will be sooner rather than later."
3
A few days later, Axel glared down at his phone as he walked down Main Street toward Sue Ann's Cafe. Melissa…again. No way was he getting that one. Anything she had to say to him, she'd already said. And it went along the lines of, "You don't care about me. You don't show me that you care. I need more from you.”
And honestly, he didn't have more to give. At least not to her. They'd started casually dating before he went undercover. And while she knew he worked for the FBI, she didn't know that he was undercover. She kept demanding more and more time from him. Even though he’d made it clear that wasn't possible. He’d left out some of the story to Bo.
That commitment stuff scared the shit out of him. The idea that his parents had been together since high school just boggled his mind.
What really frightened him was making that kind of jump with the wrong person. He wasn’t like Bo. Once he made a decision, he’d move heaven and earth to make that work. Maybe he was too rigid, but that’s who he was. And he’d known from the start Melissa wasn’t it, so he’d deliberately kept her at a distance.
They'd lasted six months and three weeks exactly. It had taken her just about that long to let him know that whatever they had going wasn't working for her. It had been a full ultimatum. And Axel did not deal well with ultimatums.
Maybe she’d thought he’d come around. But so far, he hadn't. And he wasn't going to. What they had was supposed to be fun. Supposed to be casual. He knew he was going in undercover. He couldn't have anything serious. Unfortunately, she’d only heard what she wanted.
When he killed the call, she just called again. Damn, she was persistent. Kicker was, he didn’t think this was about him at all. He was pretty sure, for her, it was more about the project of turning him into who she wanted. And he was no one’s project. He turned off his phone. He could block her, but as she was his neighbor, that was adding a layer of drama he didn’t need.
When he returned to San Diego, they'd have to have a serious conversation about what the hell he meant when he’d said they were done.
He stopped in front of the Café and peered inside. Yeah, he was asking for trouble. Truth be told, he had no idea why he couldn’t let this shit go. He'd barely seen the kid in days, but something about him was eating at Axel. His whole life, he’d never been able to let a mystery go. And there was certainly one surrounding Corin Michaels.
He knew what Bo had said. The kid was quiet. Kept to himself mostly. But Axel still wanted to see for himself.
This was his problem. Bo was right. He couldn't let anything go. He had to keep remembering that’s what made him a good FBI agent. It didn't necessarily make him a good boyfriend, husband, father type.
He knew there was something off about that kid and he didn't know what it was. So right now, it was eating at him.
Just like that woman from the bar a year ago.
They’d had one damn kiss at a bar in Lake Tahoe, and every now and again, he still thought about her. Score one for the spank bank. He couldn’t help it. She was his favorite go to.
Her soft lips, the way she smelled faintly like roses and something a little spicier. Hell, the way she tasted. He’d tried finding her too, but that girl was a ghost. She'd vanished right out of his life. And yes, he may have been a little obsessive then. Going so far as to check the bar’s security feed. But of course, she'd slipped out the side exit, and parked her car where there weren’t any cameras so he hadn't seen her license plate, and of course, she'd paid cash.
All those things in and of themselves didn't mean someone was hiding, but it meant they were difficult to find. He could call in a few favors try and get facial recognition on her. But that would make you an obsessive stalker.
He shook his head to clear his mind. He needed to let that one go. It was just a kiss. Comparing the women he’d met to her after one kiss was stupid. He knew that. But hadn't stopped him from doing that with Melissa? He knew it wasn't fair, but fuck it.
The waitress sat him in the corner in an inconspicuous seat. That way he could watch the whole restaurant. The setup was cute and cozy. The lighting was friendly, and the pastry case filled with mounds of delicious looking cakes and cupcakes and brownies.
The interior had a dozen tables sitting at comfortable angles around the dining floor. Each covered with eclectically mismatched tablecloths. Shelves lined the back wall that displayed local crafts and mementos. Photos doted the walls, depicting local happenings of note and residents
that were special to Sue Ann or Hope Falls. Outside, a cheery yellow awning over the door.
Axel could see Corin's jaw tense even from where he was sitting and the kid’s shoulders rolled up and then back. He said something else that sounded like, "Fair enough. Since Sue Ann isn’t here today, I’ll comp your pie and lunch."
The guy stood up and got right in the kids face. Axel was on his feet in a second. So were a couple of other guys in the general vicinity. But the kid didn't back down. He just glared up at the asshole.
Axel had to give the kid credit. He had nerves of steel. Sure enough, the guy eventually sat down, grumbled and finished his coffee before barging off. After a few seconds, it was as if it never happened.
Corin cleared off the tables, then said something to the other waitress and then tapped his watch. Maybe going on break? By that time, Axel had finished with his pie. He tossed out a twenty, which left a generous tip.
He’d maybe catch a glimpse of the kid later this afternoon. As he headed out of Sue Ann's café. He checked his voicemail and groaned at the three missed messages from Melissa.
The first one: “Hey, I was just calling to ask if maybe we could have coffee. I think we both really need closure."
Closure? Had that not happened when he said he thought they didn't fit well together? The next one he opened as he crossed the street heading towards Love Pines Lanes. He paused when he saw Corin emptying out the trash.
While Axel half listened to another message from Melissa, this one more urgent: "I don't understand why you just won't answer your phone. All I'm looking for is a little closure to try and understand what went wrong…” She kept rattling on, but Axel's attention was divided. Because also in the alley, stood the guy from the restaurant, stepping up to the kid.
Shit. This had ugly waiting to happen written all over it.
Axel started down the alley, even as the guy started in on the kid. "You think you're slick?"
Corin shook his head. "Nope. Just taking out the trash."
"I don't like cheats."
Corin put his hand up in a defensive stance. As if he didn't want to fight. Axel increased his pace. But then something miraculous happened. The guy went to shove Corin. But in the blink of an eye, Corin blocked the shove and turned the guy so he now faced away from him. The kid appeared to apply enough pressure to the thumb side and twisted gently until the guy’s arm was behind his back and had him shoved up against a wall, his legs spread and Corin’s knee poised dangerously.
Axel stared. Holy shit. Where had he learned to do that? That was the kind of thing that only happened when you had martial arts training. No amount of watching Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan movies was going to teach you that. Axel knew how to do that thanks to the trainers at Quantico. Corin was just a kid.
Corin muttered something low in the guy's ear, applied more pressure and the guy winced, then cursed, then nodded his head. The kid released him and stepped back, arms placed back in a defensive stance. The other guy whirled around and stared, but Corin didn't back off. Finally, the other guy headed off down the other end of the alley. Only when he was gone, did the kid sag against the wall.
Axel let out a low whistle, and Corin was on of the immediate defense again. “Those were some serious skills," he said keeping his voice low.
Corin relaxed marginally when he saw it was only him. "Thanks. The guy was more bluster than anything."
"Where did you learn that? I swear that was like something out of a kung fu movie."
Corin shrugged and went back to the trash, lifting it into the bin. Lord, the kid was small. “Krav Maga actually. Really useful when you're smaller than your opponent."
Axel forced back a wince. The kid must've been picked on most of his life at that size. What was it like to constantly have to learn to defend yourself against the bullies of the world?
"I was about to step in. But I guess I'm not needed here."
For the first time, the kid met his gaze, dark eyes boring into his. A jolt of electricity hit Axel straight in the center of his chest.
What the hell was that?
"No. You're not." The kid inclined his head. "I need to get back to work. See you around."
Axel had no choice but to watch him walk inside. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't he let the mystery go? Because something is off.
He could feel it.
The next week, after Melissa’s sixth call of the day, Axel finally answered. Muting the football game on the television, he sat back. "Melissa, I've gotten all your messages. What's the problem?"
Her irritation had reached Defcon Five levels "What's the problem? I call you and you don't answer." Her voice was shrill. “You're blowing me off.”
Axel forced himself to take a calming breath. "I'm not obligated to take your calls. If this was some kind of emergency, then text me a 911. But you only get one of those. Because if you do that and it's not a real emergency, then we have problems."
She was silent for beat then said, "Look, I just want to talk. Is that so hard? I don't like the way that we left things. It has me unsettled. You probably need the opportunity to get anything you need to talk about off your chest too."
“I feel like I said everything I needed to say.”
“But you didn't say anything. Just that it wasn’t working out. I just don't understand. We were so good together.”
Axel shifted in his seat and laid his head back against the backrest. He’d been working half the day on the kitchen cabinets. He needed to finish the doors and the task of new fixtures and he was done with that. Some vacation. Being put to manual labor. But the hard work today beat having to have this conversation.
He tried to keep his attention focused on the call, or even now, on the game. Problem was his attention kept wondering across the back patio, into the large backyard and onto Corin’s place. That was the problem with being an FBI agent, he somehow never turned it off.
It was clear to Axel now that he was going to have to let Melissa say whatever she wanted to get off her chest. He may not be an expert, but he understood the basics of relationships. The women he dated usually understood the score. Or even better, weren't looking for anything more permanent themselves. "Okay, why don't you go ahead and tell me what it is you want to tell me."
There was a long pause. "What, so you're listening to me?"
"Yeah. Anything you want to say." In the meantime, if he would just get some work done around the kitchen, grab himself another beer. He put her on speaker and placed the phone on the counter.
"Yep, I'm all ears." He muted the phone so that she wouldn't hear him clattering around. In hindsight, the two of them should probably never have gotten together. He'd known that even though she said she wanted a casual thing, that she probably wanted something more. Her pretty blue eyes had taken him in. But soon the constant bickering and the constant arguments had started. Early on, she made it clear that she had "feelings" for him and that she couldn't do the casual thing anymore. Because he been on the road so much doing undercover, he hadn't ended it when he should've. And he paid for that.
As she spoke, he got another beer. And cleaned up the dishes he'd put in the sink earlier after dinner. He didn't even bother turning on the light. And in seconds, he was glad he hadn't.
Across the lawn, he had a clear view into Corin's place. He'd heard the kid come home about fifteen minutes ago. The sounds of the gate clicking, and the wheels of his bike turning were unmistakable. There had been a moment when Axel had considered opening the door and forcing some sort of interaction, but Melissa was still on the phone droning on.
The lights in the kitchen flickered on. It was a light in the hallway that drew his attention. The shades were drawn, but it was easy enough to see shadow.
One that had him transfixed. Corin had a woman over. One with long hair that reached down over her back, and she was — oh God, she reached behind herself and unhooked her bra. There is no mistaking the size of her impressive rack. High and firm. Jesus. The k
id had a woman like that over? Look away, asshole.
It took him several seconds staring to shake himself out of it. And then he quickly averted his gaze. He wasn't a freaking creeper. But now he had all kinds of questions about Corin. He hadn't heard the kid come in with anyone. Why was he sneaking someone in? Secondly, how the hell was the kid scoring with someone like that? It took Axel another several seconds to realize that Melissa was asking him something.
"Sorry? What were you saying?"
"Were you even listening to me?"
"Of course." He lied smoothly. "Someone just walked over to the house. I had to check outside the door. What were you saying?"
"Well, I was asking if there was a chance now that we'd cleared the air to maybe work things out."
This was what he'd been avoiding. When she'd said she needed closure he sensed what she really meant was she wanted to get back together. But still, he'd let it play out, and now he was paying for it. "I'm sorry Melissa, but I don't think that it's going to work out."
"Yeah, but I don't know, if you heard how I felt —"
"Sorry about that. I really am. You and I don't work. And with my job, there are going to be a lot of undercover assignments. And it doesn't sound like a part-time relationship is the kind of relationship you want."
"I just want to understand how I failed."
And then Axel understood. She saw him as a challenge to be met and conquered. It wasn't really about the relationship at all. In some ways that made him feel better. In other ways, much worse.
He didn't dare tell her the real reason he never even considered her an option. Because you've been obsessing over a woman, you'll never see again. Yeah, he understood how that sounded. He recognized he probably needed some deep-rooted psychological help.
“Were we really that great?”
"Look, you don't have to be a jerk about it. I just feel like we never got a real chance. You know, and I want to make sure that we explore all of those avenues before we call it quits."
He sighed and tried to put it in terms that might get through to her. “What is it you like about me, exactly? You know, besides the sex?"