Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1)

by Jemma Grey

  Somewhere inside me I was aware that I didn’t want this. A voice screamed in my head that I didn’t like this boy or want him to be kissing me. That Eric was forcing me to marry him and I planned to hate him for the rest of my life. That I had promised, in front of our families to make his life Hell. That this was wrong, I shouldn’t be doing this, so why in God’s name was I kissing him back? Why was I enjoying this – the feeling of his hand running along my spine and through my hair, the feel of my hands on his skin?

  He suddenly pulled away from me then and loosened my hands from around his neck. I took a dazed step away from him, shaking my head, trying to clear the confusion now pulsing through me. “That shut you up, didn’t it?” he smirked and pushed past me, then slumped down on my now tidy bed staring at me triumphantly. “So now that I have your attention,” he began. I still couldn’t move. I had shocked myself beyond comprehension. “I have something to tell you.”

  I forced myself to turn to him fully and found that he was smiling like that cat from Alice in Wonderland, as if he’d just figured out some ancient secret that had been troubling man since the beginning of time. I almost smiled at his boyish grin, but I was too pissed off and guilt-ridden.

  “First thing though, your mom sent these for you.” He opened his hand and held out three tiny, ruby red, oval shaped pills. They were my medication – the very ones his father supplied me with.

  “I don’t want that,” I said, knowing I was being stubborn yet not being able to help it. It was because of those pills that I was being forced to marry him.

  “But you know. . .” he trailed off staring at me confused.

  “Yes, I’ll die,” I replied without emotion. “Who knows I’ll go to Heaven, or maybe Hell,” I shrugged uncaring. “Either way I’ll be rid of three things I despise – you, our marriage, and my life.”

  Rage and anger flashed in his eyes and he was abruptly in front of me. The door swung shut and out of surprise and fear, I jumped. How could he move so fast? I hadn’t seen him get off my bed, further more shut the door. One second he was on my bed and the next he was inches from my face.

  “Take the pills Jenifer,” he demanded, his eyes going slightly darker from anger.

  “No,” I spat at him looking in his eyes defiantly.

  “God!” he swore walking away from me, throwing his hands up to the side of his head. “Why can’t you stop being so childish? You need to grow up!”

  “Fine!” I screamed. “I will, when you begin to hate me and call off this stupid fake marriage Eric! Save yourself the time, trouble and pain – do it now.”

  “I can’t!” he screamed back.

  “Yeah right,” I shouted back frustrated.

  “Do you think I want to marry you?” I knew that was a lie. Last night my dad had said so – that the final decision was Eric’s. “It’s not like I had a choice either,” he spat at me. “But if you want my hate so badly,” he shouted and was suddenly in front my face once again. “Fine! You have it,” he sneered. “Now take the pills, Jenifer!”

  “No!”

  His light eyes went darker with rage, and for just a split second it was no longer blue. Suddenly one hand was wrapped around my neck, and I was stepping back against my will. My back slammed into the door with a loud thud. As soon as my back hit the door, he released my neck, placing his arm across my chest, pinning me against it.

  “Take the pills, Jenifer or I’ll shove them down your throat,” he sneered.

  Instantly my mind went back to that night, and I found my body going numb from complete fear. I expected him to hit me - to hurt me in every way he could hurt me, and in response I tensed, waiting to absorb the pain.

  A split second later something stirred in me, and I felt pure adrenaline pulsing through my veins. What was I doing? Daren had died because I couldn't help myself. I had seen him bleeding out, I had smelled his blood as I’d held him in my arms and felt his last breath all because I had been weak. I was not the girl from that night anymore. I wasn’t going to let anyone else hurt me like I had been hurt. This time I was going to fight back.

  My body reacted on its own, and I felt my hands clawing at his face and arms, anything that I could reach. In a knee-jerk reaction, my knee went up, and Eric suddenly crouched in front of me moaning, swearing curse words at me.

  “I’m not taking the pills,” I smiled sweetly, masking the fear coursing through me as best as I could.

  That did it. I watched in horror as he slowly stood up and turned to face me with death shining in his eyes. In that moment, he didn’t seem human anymore. He was cold and heartless, and I was terrified of him. I saw his hand clench into a fist, then slowly he brought it up to his eye level. All I had time to do was raise my right hand to shield my face or at least soften the blow, before his fist shot towards me.

  His hand connected with my wrist and instantly a loud crack echoed through the room. He stood frozen, his fist still touching my wrist as it throbbed with pain, either broken or sprained, and it fuelled my anger. Suddenly I was no longer afraid of him. I only felt hate and anger sizzling in my veins. I clenched my left hand and connected it with his jaw, forcing as much strength as I could muster behind the punch. Eric didn’t even flinch. It was like my punch had meant nothing. I hadn’t hurt him at all, and that just made me more fucking angry.

  A low animal-like growl escaped his throat and then the next thing I knew I was abruptly on my bed. Again just as before, one second I was standing at the door, then I had blinked and I was now lying flat on my back. Eric was on top of me, and my hands were pinned under each of his legs at my sides.

  “What are you going to do?” I pushed. “Rape me, show me that you’re in control, is that it?” I sneered up at him, being as defiant as I possibly could. “I’ve been through worse than rape Eric, do your worst. The most you can do is kill me, and I’ve been through a lot worse than death, too.”

  Instantly, he pulled back, staring down at me in complete and total shock. Horror filled his eyes, and for a moment his mouth hung open loosely. “What?” he frowned in disbelief.

  “My parents are home, I’ll scream 'till you rip my throat out.”

  “I’m flattered you think so lowly of me,” he said suddenly calm now. “And your parents aren’t home. They left for work fifteen minutes ago. Now will you please take your medication?” I didn’t answer; instead I stared at him disobediently, pushing him to hit me again. Maybe this time he wouldn’t stop midway. Maybe this time he’d kill me.

  “I’m not going to kill you, Jen. You’re much too important for that, which is why you must take the pills,” he snarled giving me another chance. Still I said nothing. “Fine then,” he sighed.

  He squeezed my mouth open and dropped the pills in. Before I could spit them out in his face, he leaned forward and got the bottle of water I always kept on the bedside table and emptied its contents into my mouth.

  As water filled my mouth, natural instincts kicked in and I immediately gulped it down as fast as I could. When he was satisfied, he got off me and in the same movement, pulled me into a sitting position at his side. I was instantly leaning over coughing up water at my feet on the floor while he patted and rubbed my back. My throat burned as if he’d poured acid down it instead of water.

  “Are you okay?” I heard him ask at my side, and I nodded without thinking.

  “Good,” he snapped and got up from my bed, walking to the door. Just as he was about to open it, he spun around to face me. “By the way, you get to go to school today. I talked to my parents and managed to convince them that we could leave later. I’ll be in the car.” He then turned and stalked out of my room, leaving me alone.

  I stayed on my bed for a minute, staring at the door Eric had just shut. I listened to his footsteps creeping down the stairs, and it was only when I heard the front door bang I allowed myself to move – to let out the breath I was holding. I waited until my heart was tame, and my breathing even and steady to get off my bed and tiptoe to my bath
room. I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to be silent.

  I stood in front the mirror, surveying myself for any visible damage. There were no marks on my neck or face, but my right wrist was already beginning to swell. I saw a trip to the ER in my future.

  Standing in front of the sink, I leaned over it and shoved my fingers down my throat, until all the pills that Eric had forced down into me came back up. Then I changed my T-shirt, which was now wet, ran a comb through my hair, grabbed my bag and headed downstairs and outside. When I climbed into the car Eric had both hands and his head pressed against the steering wheel, and without saying anything or looking at me, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

  “Hospital or school?” he asked after a few long, never ending minutes. His voice was blank and empty.

  “Hospital,” I muttered, looking out the window. That was it for our conversation.

  When we got to the ER no one paid any attention to me. “Hello!” I shouted when speaking to the ER nurse as a human had failed. “Why do I have to wait? I am the only person here!” I screamed over the counter at her.

  Her eyes narrowed as she took me in, and I could tell that she was starting to get annoyed now. She let out an irritated sigh and flashed me a fake smile. “Miss,” she began sweetly, and an angry breath escaped me.

  Just as I was about to tell her off, Eric, who was still brooding in silence took my left hand in his, silencing me. “Miss, my name is Eric Wilson and,” that was all he got out before a male nurse walked up to him and shook his hand.

  “I’m sorry Mr. Wilson… we didn’t realize. If you’ll follow me,” he smiled. I was confused. What the Hell had just happened?

  The male nurse showed us into a private room and as soon as we entered, I walked over to the bed and sat down. Moments later, Eric was at my side. It wasn’t a minute after the nurse left when a young man in his late twenties, entered the room. The name sewed onto his coat declared that he was Dr. Ali. He was around 5’ 10” and his hair was jet black. As he came closer I saw his eyes. It was a beautiful light hazelnut color, but not as pretty as Eric’s though. I gave myself a mental kick for that last thought.

  “Good morning,” he smiled, flashing perfect rows of white teeth, “Mr. Wilson and Miss,” he looked to me questioning.

  “Jen,” I said smiling back at him a little too friendly.

  “Call me Eric,” Eric said at my side, and held out his hand.

  “Very well,” Dr. Ali said shaking his hand, and then it was my turn. He held out his hand to me and with my left hand I took it, but didn’t let go.

  I looked to Eric smiling mischievously, and then I turned back to the doctor in front of me. Without saying anything, I pulled the doctor towards me and kissed him, leaving Eric at my side watching. I could almost feel the steam radiating from his skin. I pulled the doctor closer, deepening the kiss and closed my eyes. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds before I pulled away from the doctor, grinning.

  The doctor took a confused step back, away from me, and then his eyes locked onto Eric’s. “Eric – Mr. Wilson I am so –” he began, but stopped when Eric turned, sending me daggers. I could almost feel his eyes burning a hole into the middle of my head.

  “Excuse us,” Eric said through his teeth, and without another word the good doctor left the room, silently shutting the door behind him. As soon as the door clicked shut, Eric was standing in front of me. He had placed both hands on the hospital bed, at my sides caging me in. I didn't take my eyes off his. I was not backing down.

  “So an annoying slut for a wife, is that it?” he asked surprisingly calm.

  “Goes well with an abusive husband, does it not?” I countered, holding up my damaged wrist. “And besides I’m not your wife Eric! We’re not even engaged,” I sneered in his face.

  “Really?”

  “Well, it may have escaped your notice, spoiled rich boy, but I hate you!” I spat at him. “Also if I didn’t where’s the sign of commitment, other than the sprained wrist of course?” I growled. I could feel my anger growing with each second.

  His face changed instantly, and suddenly he was now staring at me with soft, kind eyes. What the fuck, was he bipolar? “You don’t hate me Jen, just as I could never hate you,” he whispered, frowning at me.

  All of a sudden, he was no longer annoyed or angry with me. Instead, it was like the first time we had met. That one moment in the car, before all of this shit had started. He raised his hands, and held my neck gently in it. A part of me wanted to bat his hand away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It felt too good. His touch was nothing like the doctor’s.

  Already I could feel tiny electric shocks passing from his skin to mine. I found that it drained away my irritation and frustration at him, leaving me with a calm, peaceful feeling. I closed my eyes, feeling light headed and pressed my forehead into his chest, just for this small moment enjoying the peace circling inside my body.

  I hadn’t felt this at peace in a long time. Maybe just for this moment, I could relax and enjoy it. Maybe for just a second, it was okay to feel free and at peace with myself, like what happened that night wasn’t my fault.

  But it was, I heard Daren’s voice in my head. It is your fault that I’m dead. I’m dead Jen, and you’re alive - you don’t deserve to be happy or at peace. He was right. What had happened to Daren and Brandon was my fault. It was all because of me. They had died and suffered, and I deserved to be in pain.

  Reality struck me a second later like a bullet to the stomach. My walls immediately went up, and I pulled away from Eric, shoving him away from me. I didn’t want this; I couldn’t let myself feel like this. It was wrong. I didn’t deserve any peace of mind, I deserved to be miserable.

  “No Eric, I don’t hate you,” I said, staring up at his face. “That would be an understatement.”

  “Whatever!” he snapped at the edge of anger, and then turned away from me, slamming the door behind him.

  A second later the male nurse entered the room, staring at the door Eric had just slammed. He shook his head, thinking nothing of it and then turned to me smiling. “I’m here to take you to get your hand x-rayed,” he announced. I jumped off the bed, followed him out the room and into a corridor.

  “Can I ask you something?” I said, and he nodded without looking at me. “Do you know the Wilsons?” I wondered, thinking back to when Eric had mentioned his name to the ER nurse.

  “No, not personally, but I know of them. Everyone knows of them.” I looked at him confused, and before I could ask he began to explain. “They’re like one of the wealthiest families in the world, I think. They own one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies. Harper Wilson was one of the world’s leading brain surgeon before he stopped practicing. His wife does all sorts of side jobs, like with the companies and stuff.”

  My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes bulged out of their sockets. My mind went blank for a moment as I thought about the attention we’d gotten once they’d heard Eric’s name. “They’re really powerful and influential, especially in the medical field,” he continued stopping at a door marked x-ray. He shoved the door open for me, and I forced a smile as I walked into the room.

  About half an hour later, my arm was in a hard, white cast, and I was walking out the hospital doors. Since I had pissed Eric off, and he’d stormed out, I hadn’t seen him. Just as I was about to dig out my phone and call someone to get me, he pulled up in front of me. I stood staring at the car for a long while, hating its driver and then, reluctantly, got in.

  As soon as I was in the car, he placed a white plastic bag in my lap. It smelled delicious, and my belly growled in response. I was abruptly aware that I hadn’t eaten breakfast this morning. “No tomatoes or onions,” he said turning to me. I opened the bag, pulling out a burger. Confused, I looked to him.

  “How did you know I hated tomatoes and onions?”

  “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Jen... I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m not going to explain myself b
ecause what I did was horrible. I told you that I didn't want you to hate me... then I sent you to the ER. My actions are unforgivable, and from now on, I swear that I will never hit you again, no matter what happens or how badly we fight...” Pain of regret and guilt was deep in his eyes, and I could feel sadness leaking from him.

  “I hit you too... twice,” I heard myself say.

  “From the very beginning you’ve been saying how much you hate me.”

  “So that’s it then?” I asked, and his face morphed into total confusion. “You’re not going to say ‘I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m still asking’ nothing like that?”

  “No,” he shook his head, turning away from me.

  “Damn it,” I said rolling my eyes at him. Of all the boys, I had to be stuck with the one that apologized and actually meant it. He turned back to me instantly. I couldn't believe I was going to say this. “Eric, I forgive you,” I whispered. “I believe you... but if you ever hit me again I will stab you repeatedly with a kitchen knife in your sleep.”

  “You have my permission,” he muttered still glum. “Do you still want to go to school?”

  “No,” I shook my head. “Take me home.” He nodded and without another word, drove out of the hospital. Again the drive was silent. I took two bites of the burger and then didn’t feel like eating anymore. Instead, I felt like I had been run over by a steam roller.

  Somewhere along the drive, I must have dozed off, because sometime later I was waking up in my bed. Afternoon sun bathed the room - the only time I could stand the sun or enjoyed it. I got out my bed, and instantly felt light headed. I started swaying on my feet, but before I could fall, I grabbed onto the bed frame.

  Slowly I began making my way to the door, and then down the stairs. When I had reached exactly halfway down my body began to protest. I was too tired and weak to go on so instead I leaned against the wall for a moment, taking deep breaths.