Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1)

by Jemma Grey

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, taking his hand.

  “Why, you’ve done nothing wrong, Jen. Now it’s your turn.”

  I frowned, biting my lower lip. I didn’t answer right away and the silence stretched on loudly. “The night that Daren died,” I swallowed “that night I was at a party… some people… um, they wanted to know something… and I wouldn’t tell them…”

  I felt Eric stiffened, but I kept my eyes focused on the TV. “And to teach me a lesson… they um,” I raised my hand and touched the tiny scar at the base of my neck, unconscious I was doing it. “They gave me this,” I finally whispered. I could barely hear my own voice.

  Eric didn’t say anything; instead he pulled me closer to him crushing my body to his. His hands had made such tight fist that his knuckles had gone white. I peeked up at him and saw that his eyes were now blazing blue as his tongue traced over his four sharp fangs teasingly.

  “Its fine,” I sighed, closing my eyes and squeezing his hand. “I’ve gotten over it,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

  14

  At school, everyone was talking about an upcoming Black and White ball. Amelia and Emily were a part of the committee, and so for our entire lunch break they told us about every little detail of the event. It was supposed to raise funds for a charity that I really didn’t remember. Halfway through, I had stopped listening and found myself picking at my fries as I stared at the other students eating lunch in the cafeteria.

  St. Michael’s cafeteria was like everything else in the school - huge and amazing. It was kind of like a restaurant, except you didn’t have to pay for anything. All you had to do was walk up to the counter and choose what you wanted from the dozens of dishes. There was no waiting in lines or mean cafeteria ladies. Even the furniture was expensive yet comfortable, black wooden chairs and square tables that littered the circular room. There were no walls either, or at least that was the first thought I’d had when Emily had shown me into the room. I’d later realized that it was glass, so clean and clear it seemed nonexistent. I could see outside to the well-maintained lawns, where some of the students were having lunch as well.

  “Jen!” Charde elbowed me, making me focus on her. “You’re going, right?”

  “What?” I blinked, staring at her completely lost.

  “Dress shopping,” Emily put in.

  “Ah… I’m not going to the ball… but I don’t mind watching you try on dresses,” I muttered.

  “Really?” Amelia frowned at me. “So Eric’s going solo?”

  “Eric’s going?” I blurted out.

  “He kinda doesn’t have a choice-” she started, but was cut off when someone at another table began shouting. Wordlessly, we all turned to find Ryan having a heated conversation with some other guys at their table. Not caring enough, Amelia turned back to me and continued. “His family is one of the founding families of the school… he needs to be there to represent them.”

  “Aw damn,” I sulked, as I got out my phone and opened up a new message, asking Eric if attending the ball was necessary. He replied in the same minute.

  It’s a charity event so yeah, we kinda have to. Why?

  My face fell even further as I typed a reply. I really don’t want to go and after the last Ball, I think I’ve gone to one too many.

  We’ll talk about this later. I’m about to go into a meeting.

  What meeting? Where are you?

  I'm actually at your school, in a board meeting about the charity ball. I'll see you before I leave. Eric was at my school - in a board meeting. Well Hell. Sometimes it was so easy to forget that Eric had so many responsibilities. I mean he was so laid back and carefree that it made him seem like just another college student, when in reality he was anything but. He had board meetings for a private school and business meetings concerning the future of more than one multimillion-dollar companies, and what made it even more unbelievable was that I’d never heard him complain about having to do these things.

  “I’ll prove it,” Ryan shouted again, this time so loud and harsh that we all turned to him. “Give me my fucking magazine,” he then snapped at his friends and stood up. Ryan then snatched something up from the table and turned, his eyes locked onto me instantly as he began to make his way to my table. My stomach dropped as he closed the distance between us. I didn’t know why but I felt utter and total dread filling me, and all I could do was watch as he walked up to me and then leaned down beside me, ignoring everyone else at the table.

  “Hey, Jen,” Ryan began. “Would you tell those dickheads that this is you?” he said placing an open magazine on the tabletop in front of me. My breath stopped instantly. “I knew it was you. I knew I saw you before…” he trailed off seeing the horror and pain in my face.

  One second - that was all it took for me to shatter inside. Staring at the picture and the people in it, I couldn’t help but break apart. My chest constricted and suddenly I felt as if all the air had been vacuumed out of the room, leaving me breathless and choking. Once again I found myself struggling to breathe as tears welled up in my eyes and the memories of that night flooded me. Seconds later they rolled down my cheeks, heating my face.

  My heart ached, it throbbed and vibrated in my chest so much that I wanted to rip it out just so the pain would stop. I couldn’t take my eyes off the picture staring back at me, even as it broke me apart. Slowly my trembling hands took the magazine up and gave it back to Ryan. I got up from the table, turned and walked out of the cafeteria as the memories of that night replayed in my head. No matter what I did or how much I tried not to think about it, I couldn’t stop myself. All I could focus on was everything and everyone that I’d lost.

  Soon I found myself outside the school and almost instantly warm, creamy air hit me. I kept walking even though I didn’t know where I was going. I felt like I needed to keep moving. If I stood still my body would shut down completely and I didn’t think that I’d be able to put myself back together again after this.

  The next thing I knew was that I was sitting in the driver’s seat of Eric's car, my hands on the steering wheel. I could smell his scent coating the air around me thickly, but even that wasn't enough to break me out of my head. Without thinking about what my actions meant, I leaned down, reaching for the wires under the steering wheel. When I found the ones I wanted, my fingers yanked them out and then broke them apart. Seconds later the engine came to life, purring almost silently in the background. It was like a whisper inside my head, telling me to drive - to get away from everything and everyone for a while.

  I didn’t think, instead I listened to the whispers in my head and put the car in gear, pulling out of the parking lot at full speed. The tires squealed loudly and then seconds later the car shot out into the main road without any warning to the other drivers. Once there, I peeled off at a speed that would kill me immediately if I crashed. My foot pressed down on the pedal, pushing the car to go even faster and as the speed built I craved more.

  Within seconds I was shooting through the streets at a dangerous speed, running every red light and barely missing other cars by inches. The more I hurt, was the more speed I wanted. I needed it. Inside my chest, my heart throbbed and I gave the car more gas, pushing it faster.

  Hot tears were streaming down my face nonstop now, and every few seconds they blurred my vision, yet I didn’t slow down. I couldn’t. My hands tightened around the steering wheel, gripping it w ith so much tension that my knuckles began to burn. I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t care. I just needed to be gone.

  What came next only happened in mere seconds. One moment I was peeling through the streets and then I found myself spinning through the air. Loud crashes and the stomach turning sound of metal colliding with metal echoed around me as the world literally flipped and twisted. My body was being thrown and banged into the car. I was like a paper doll being flung in every direction. Pain was everywhere, but it was nothing compared to what my heart felt like at the moment. Nothing could ever compare to t
hat, and maybe this was the end of it. Just maybe it would all stop now. Just as I thought that my head smashed into something hard - I didn’t know what - and the force of the blow was so strong that my eyes rolled back into my head and the world turned black.

  I groaned out loud as every part of my body ached. Slowly I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn’t obey. I felt myself swallow and even that hurt. “Told you she’s the pureblood...” an unfamiliar voice echoed in my head. It was distant and detached somehow. “A human couldn’t live through a crash like that.” Another groan escaped my lips. “Fuck, she’s awake… definitely a pureblood…” The voice trailed off as once again darkness swallowed me. I didn’t know how long I was out for, but it seemed like only minutes has passed and then there was another voice shouting at me.

  “Jen!” it screamed, and I realized that it was Eric. I would know his voice anywhere. “Wake up right now!” the voice said again but something was off. His tone was wrong, it was filled with something I couldn’t name or figure out in the haze that surrounded me. “Open your eyes, Jen, right now!” he screamed and I began to wonder why.

  Struggling, I tried to open my eyes - to do what he wanted so he could go back to being the Eric I knew. My eyes didn’t open though. My eyelids were too heavy and the strength it took to lift them was too much. I didn’t have it in me, but I could still hear his voice in my head, panicked and hard, so I tried again. This time they slowly opened, sending a wave of pain coursing through my body.

  “There you go, that’s my girl,” he said as I blinked against the blinding white light. For a moment that was all I saw, then his face slowly drifted into focus. Suddenly I could see him, leaning over me just inches away from my own face. Jason and Emily were there too, but I didn't focus on them. There was a deep frown carved into Eric's face, and I wanted to reach out and smooth it away. His eyes were wide and glassy, like crystallized blue orbs about to shatter. I never wanted Eric to be sad or worried or looking at me like he was now - as though his world was just seconds away from crumbling.

  He raised both his hands to the sides of my face, staring at me with pain printed in his eyes. His skin was hot on mine and it was only then that I realized I was freezing. I was wet and my clothes were sticking to my skin. It took me a minute to realize that it was blood. I could smell it, tainting the air around me.

  Not realizing when I’d closed my eyes, I forced them open again, struggling to stay awake. Every part of me wanted to give in and let go - to let the dark and numbness have me. Somehow though, I knew that if I gave in, I might never be able to get out and that scared me.

  It hit me then, like a solid blow to my chest. I didn’t want to die anymore. I was fighting with everything I had in me to stay awake, to keep my eyes open, to stay with him… I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live. As the realization sunk in the haze surrounding me got thicker. Everything was becoming more intense. The pain pulsing in my head grew until it began to feel like my head was going to burst into millions of pieces at any moment.

  Not knowing if this was the very last thing I did, I raised my hand up, reaching for his face. The movement was slow and tired, and it cause unbearable pain. At the motion bright red ran down my arm, dripping from my elbow.

  I was going to die. After everythi ng that I’ve gone through - all the horrible moments I had survived - I was going to die lying on the streets, cold and bloodied. Finally when I wanted to live, I was going to die.

  “Sorry I broke your car,” I whispered, taking one last breath.

  I felt him grab onto my shoulders, his nails digging into my skin as he shook me. I couldn’t see him anymore; everything had faded. “Jen, wake up!” he screamed, his voice fading into darkness. It was slow and gentle - like a candle finally dying, not by the wind but because it had run out on wick and wax. And probably just like the candle, just maybe I was out of time as well.

  * * * I woke up to a constant beeping sound that was rhythmic and just downright annoying. More than anything, I wanted it to stop so I could go back to sleep. I was so tired and exhausted that if it were possible I'd sleep for a century. Every part of my body seemed to be alive with pain. My head throbbed, my throat was raw and dry, and every time I breathed the movement made my chest burn. I opened my eyelids and as soon as I did, I instantly found myself regretting it as a stinging pain burned my eyes. I blinked against it, trying to focus and found myself in my bedroom.

  The first thing I noticed was Eric. He was sitting on a chair at the side of me. His head was down on the bed, just inches from my waist. I stretched out my hand to touch him but found my movements were restricted. For the first time since waking up, I looked down at myself and saw that I had what must be at least four clear, plastic tubing wrapped around my body, feeding me all sorts of liquids. There were machines around the bed that I was hooked up to. I let out a hoarse groan and began ripping the tubes out.

  Instantly the steady, annoying, beep was replaced by an even more annoying continuous, louder beep. Eric’s head instantly flashed up and suddenly Dr. Wilson was standing over him. As soon as they saw that I was staring at them, they both frowned at me, seeing as I wasn’t dying.

  Dr. Wilson was the first to speak as Eric kept staring at me. “How do you feel?” he asked while Eric stood up and backed away zombie-like, giving his father space.

  “Broken,” I replied hoarsely, my voice coming out like a dry croak. Now my outside matched my insides perfectly

  - both were damaged. Dr. Wilson nodded at me as he rounded the bed, shutting off the annoying machine. He then sat down at my side on the edge of the bed.

  “That's hardly surprising,” he smiled warmly as his hands reached out to my hand. There was a questioning look on his face, and I nodded at once knowing he was asking permission to examine me - not that he needed permission.

  For a long while I remained absolutely still while he did his tests. Being born with a severe case of aplastic anemia, I'd gotten used to hospitals and doctors.

  “What do you remember?” Dr. Wilson asked when he'd finally finished. He straightened himself staring at me intently, as though he was looking for something hidden in my face. I didn't answer right away, instead I found myself frowning as I tried to figure out what was the last thing I remembered before waking up here. At first I came up completely blank, and just as the panic was about to set in, the memories came flooding back in waves of pain, worsening my headache.

  “Um...” I began, frowning at him. “I remember leaving school and then Eric's voice in my head... he was talking to me I think... or maybe I was dreaming. It felt like a dream...” I trailer off looking to Eric for confirmation. When I caught his eyes he nodded slightly.

  “Hmm,” Dr. Wilson mused, his eyes seeming to stare straight through me.

  “Is that... bad,” I swallowed, trying to moisten my dry throat.

  “No, its fine. In fact you're perfectly okay. Everything checks out Jen,” he said standing up, hovering over me. “But I suggest you stay on the painkillers,” he pointed to one of the tubes sticking into my arm that had a clear liquid in it. “The blood you need,” he pointed to another tube, this one with red liquid. “You've lost a lot of blood so you'll be weak for a while,” he frowned, scratching his head.

  “I also want you to stay home. I'm putting you on bed rest until further notice,” his frowned deepened as he patted my head comfortingly. “I’ll come back soon to check on you.” He then turned to leave and Eric’s head snapped to him suddenly. This was the first time he had taken his eyes off me since I’d woken up.

  “Dad,” he said and Dr. Wilson turned to face him, but Eric didn't continue; instead he remained silent, his eyes focused on his father.

  “We'll talk later,” Dr. Wilson smiled at his son, but it wasn't the comforting smile you'd imagine a father sending his son. Instead this was more like they were keeping something from me. I frowned at them as Dr. Wilson turned and walked out the room leaving Eric and I alone. Dead silence hung in the air loudly as
Eric came back to his original position on the chair at the side of the bed.

  His eyes were filled with relief, but there was also a resigned sadness that I had never seen before. The silence stretched on as we stared at each other, and then he sighed and broke it. “I thought you were going to die...” he said, his voice a monotone as his eyes bored into me.

  “For a while... so did I,” I whispered back in a small voice, making a move to sit up. The movement brought on another wave of pain, and I gritted my teeth so I wouldn’t make any sound. Seeing what I wanted Eric immediately helped me up.

  “Sorry I killed your car-” I started but never got to finish.

  “I don’t care about the fucking car, I have others… What were you thinking?” he cut me off, frowning at me deeply. His voice was slowly rising.

  I was silent for a while, trying to recall what had been running through my head. “I don’t know…” I finally croaked out after I’d realized it wasn’t going to come back. My head was pulsing with pain now and involuntarily I raised my hand to the sides of my head, only to find that it was bandaged.

  “I need to ask you something, Jen,” he sighed staring at me intently, searching my face. “And no matter what your answer is I won’t get mad, I promise, but I need you to be completely honest with me…” he trailed off, his eyes boring into my face. I didn’t answer and when he realized that I wasn’t going to say anything he continued. “Did you try to kill yourself? Did you do this on purpose?” he asked, showing absolutely no emotion. His face was completely blank.

  I opened my mouth to answer, but the words couldn’t come out. They all dried up on my tongue, and not knowing what else to do I closed my mouth, trying to think of a way to explain what I’d discovered; that I d idn’t want to die anymore.

  Eric must’ve taken my silence as confirmation, because he pushed himself off the chair and as he did, it toppled over falling backwards. Eric was then pacing at the foot of the bed, in front of me. He turned to me after a moment. “Jenifer, I can’t keep doing this… I can’t keep... I love you but I’ve been beyond patient with you, and I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering if you're going to take a gun and shoot yourself; if you’re going to jump off a building... I just can’t do it…”