Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1)

by Jemma Grey

  I couldn’t let him do that - not yet, I wasn’t finished. I grabbed his hand, gripping his baby and ring finger in my fingers. Without wasting a second, I bent his fingers back breaking them. Zane screamed out in pain, jerking out of the semi unconscious state that he had been going into.

  “At least I’m not chopping them off,” I said blankly getting off him and yanking Zoryiaa up. It was time to end this. I held Zoryiaa in front of my body making sure that Zane saw us. “Daren taught you how it felt to watch a lover die… now I’m going to show you how it feels to watch your best friend die, while you’re helpless to stop it,” I told him. My voice and face was blank and emotionless.

  My heart squeezed in my chest, aching more and more with each passing moment. My throat was tight and felt swollen as I desperately fought the urge to burst out into loud sobs. Tears filled my eyes as I raised my free hand to Zoryiaa’s back. I took a deep breath as tears that I was trying so hard not to let spill out, rolled down my cheeks silently. I forced my eyes open, not knowing when I closed them, forcing myself to stare at Zane as he watched us and then shoved my free hand into Zoryiaa’s back, straight through her chest. I ripped my hand out, releasing her at the same time and she dropped to the grass, now stained with her blood, right beside Zane.

  The sight of her broken, dead body was the last thing Zane saw before I raised my foot, stomping down on the knife still sticking out of his throat. Without waiting to make sure he was dead I turned, walking away. I didn’t care whether he was dead or alive. At this point it didn’t matter, what did was that Daren and Brandon had gotten justice.

  I walked until the rage boiling inside me dried up and wouldn’t push me on anymore. Before I knew it; before I even reached the gaping hole in the wall, my knees shattered under me and I fell to the grass, giving up. I was so confused. Everything around me was spinning in circles and nothing made sense. It was all so surreal, like none of it had happened. I had so many thoughts circling me and each tugged me in a different direction.

  Ever since Zane had killed Daren and Brandon, I’d thought about this moment every night – every spare second of my life. It was the last thought that ran through my head before I fell asleep. I pictured getting revenge, doing to Zane exactly what he did to me, and to Daren and Brandon. But I’d never pictured this… at least not the blind, hateful rage or the need for his blood… and certainly not the emptiness after. I thought I would at least feel something, relief maybe, or even grief, but surely not void. Zane was dead, he was never going to hurt me again. I was free of constantly worrying when he was going to show up and kill me. I should feel free.

  Tears streamed down my face as I gazed down at my hands and the reality of what I did slowly began to sink in. On my right hand, bright red now replaced the pearl white color of the gloves I was wearing, and the left side was just as bad. It was wet and sticking to my skin and reacting instinctively, I yanked at the gloves literally trying to tear them away. They weren’t coming off, almost as if the blood had stuck them to my skin permanently, and I realized that I’d lost the very thing I was trying so hard to hold onto; I’d lost the last remaining piece of Jenifer Carson.

  I killed someone tonight. Although Zane and Zoryiaa deserved to die, was killing them worth losing myself? I had just taken the life of two persons. This wasn’t who I was. How could I allow myself to do those horrible things to them? I had become a monster that was so much worse.

  I had been so angry with Zane. It hurt so much that there weren’t words to describe the pain I felt and all I think about was making him pay. I wanted him to know what he had put me through, what he had put Daren and Brandon through. I wanted Zane to feel as much pain as I could make him feel. I tortured him and killed someone he loved while he watched. I had hurt him just as much as he had hurt me, and now I felt no remorse; instead I felt empty, as if I had been scraped clean, like inside my body was nothing but a dark, soulless void. I didn’t know who I was anymore and now I felt like I was hanging on by my fingertips at the edge of insanity.

  My fingers ripped at the gloves, finally able to tear them away only to find that my hands underneath was covered in red too, and at the sight my throat tightened and closed. I sucked in air desperately, trying to fill my lungs but no matter how much I tried all I got was emptiness. Panic was thick in me now. I couldn’t take my eyes away from my bloody hands - it was all I saw. The sight horrified and sickened me. My stomach turned, heaved, and then I was throwing up until there was nothing left inside me.

  Strong, firm hands gripped my shoulders from behind, yanking me up, and spinning me around in the same instant. I recognized Eric’s scent at once, and I grabbed onto him immediately as though he was my lifeline. In response his arms tightened around me as I buried my face into his chest and cried.

  “He’s dead… I killed him,” I blurted out into his chest, the hysteria growing inside me with every word that left my mouth.

  “I know,” he said, “I saw-”

  “I killed them… I’m not a killer, Eric,” I heard myself mutter, my voice muffled and breaking. “I swear to you I’m not… I’m not a bad person… I was so angry with him and I didn’t... it was like I wasn’t me,” I spluttered, desperate to make him understand and to figure out for myself what had happened to me that I’d go this far. “Please believe me… I couldn’t… all I could think about was… I’m sorry, Eric…”

  “Hey,” he interrupted, grabbing my face between his hands, and holding me away from his body so that now I was looking directly into his face. “Don’t apologize,” he shook his head, his expression and tone almost angry with me. “You only did what Katalin, Dean, and I wanted to do. Zane was going to die tonight, either way… you only got to him first,” he paused, frowning at me deeply.

  His eyes bored into my face, studying me but I didn’t know why. “And Zane was lucky it was you and not one of us,” he snapped, jerking his head behind him. “We wouldn’t have been as kind.”

  I tore my eyes away from Eric’s face just long enough to glance behind him to find Dean, Jason, Dina, Emily, and Katalin staring at us. Dean and Jason were talking to each other; Dina was staring at Zane’s body grudgingly, and Katalin was leaning against the wall looking bored and uninterested, even though her eyes never left me.

  “Come on,” Eric said in front of me, directing my attention back to him as he wiped away the tears staining my face. “This isn’t over yet… there are still some loose ends to tie up.” Without giving me a chance to respond he stood up, pulling me to my feet after him, and led us back towards the hall. I followed him zombie-like.

  Inside the gym was a mess. There were huge pools of blood, body parts and dead people scattered about. It w as horrible. All the twinkling lights and decorations were either torn down, barely hanging on, or stained with bright red patches, though what I assumed was Dean’s pack was now beginning to clean up the hall. They all looked like an organized, well trained work crew. Everyone was doing something, as if each person knew exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

  Eric led me to the corner of the room, away from everyone. He then picked up two chairs, straightened them so that they were now upright and facing each other, and then sat down. Before he could pull me down on the other, I sat down too, suddenly exhausted. “Are you hurt? How do you feel? I can smell your blood...” he trailed off running his eyes over me.

  “Yeah, my head,” I sighed, absentmindedly reaching for the sore spot at the back of my head. When my fingers touched the area, I expected pain, or at the very least some kind of feeling, instead I felt nothing. The small opening had already healed and all that was left was the dried blood.

  “Did Zane do this?” His voice was low and casual, but I could see anger seeping under his controlled face. I could hear it in his voice just as plain as I heard how much he was trying to hide it from me.

  “No,” I shook my head, “I banged my head on a table.”

  “Of all the things that could hurt you tonight, a table?” Ja
son asked, literally appearing at my side, flashing his perfectly white teeth. At his sudden appearance, I would have jumped, but I barely reacted to Jason. I was too worn out and tired. My body refused to react to anything more tonight. I’d had enough and all I wanted now was home and my bed.

  “Now’s not the time to be irritating her, Jason,” Eric shook his head at him.

  “Why? Is she going to go all badass pureblood on me too?” he mocked staring at me.

  “Irritate her some more and you just might find out,” Eric grinned, turning back to me. “Do you want to rest a bit or go home now?”

  “Home,” was all I said.

  “Check in with Katalin and Dean before you leave,” Jason put in, before he winked at me, then turned and walked off.

  Eric took my hand as we both stood up, following Jason. Members of Dean’s pack was already leaving I realized. In fact the numbers of people in the room had gone down significantly, making the giant ballroom almost seem empty. Now that it wasn’t so crowded I could clearly see the damage we’d done to it. Most of the walls were cracked or had gaping holes in them. Tables and chairs were thrown about, most of them broken and blood was smeared on everything. In the middle of the room was a row of guys, all kneeling with their hands pressed against the back of their heads as though awaiting their execution. Behind each one, someone stood looking down at them as a hawkwould watch its prey.

  “You cheated,” Dean’s voice drifted to me as Eric, Jason, and I got closer to him and Katalin. They were both casually leaning against a table, looking completely laid back and carefree. It was weird seeing Katalin and Dean like this. They looked almost human, like they were normal people.

  “I did no such thing, Dean-”

  “What?” he cut her off, “Don’t think I didn’t see when you held Eric back Kat. If you hadn’t he would have killed Zane, not Jen. You cheated, you lost, and now it’s time to pay the price.”

  “Jenifer didn’t need Eric’s help. She had things handled,” Katalin sighed and then straightened when she saw us. I was confused for a moment. I didn’t know that Katalin had stopped Eric from killing Zane. When had that happened? I made a mental note to ask Eric about it later, after we both showered and rested a bit. “Hello, Jenifer,” Katalin said going back to the emotionless, blank, blob that I knew. “We’re just about-” she started, then stopped abruptly as her eyes focused on something behind me, then in a flash she was gone.

  It took me a minute to realize what was going on, and as soon as my brain caught up with her movements, I spun around to find her shielding my body with her own. In the same second, Dean reacted, dashing to Katalin and shoving her aside forcefully, knocking her to the floor as he took her place in front of me.

  As soon as Dean was there something knocked him back with so much power that it blew him off his feet and straight into me. We both fell to the floor in a tangled mess. I shoved Dean off me, onto his back and let out a loud grasp as my eyes ran over him. There was a huge knife sticking into his chest so deep that only the hilt was visible. Blood was instantly pouring out of the wound in huge amounts that was already pooling around him. Everything had happened so fast that I could barely keep up with it.

  My head snapped to where the knife had come from and I saw that it had been one of the kneeling men. He was already pinned to the floor by Eric, Jason, and another guy, screaming and cursing. It took a minute to understand what he was saying, because his words were a mixture of English and another language. He was saying that I shouldn’t be alive, that I wasn’t a true pureblood. That was when Eric lifted him off the ground, snapping his neck.

  Katalin ran back to Dean, dropping herself down at his side. Without wasting a second she grabbed the handle of the knife with both hands and yanked it out sharply and quickly, dropping it to the ground at her side as if it burned her. The sound of it hitting the floor seemed to be the only noise in the room at that moment. Her hand then balled up into a fist and she sent it hurling towards his jaw. “Wake up,” she spat at him.

  Dean immediately jerked awake, groaning as Katalin pressed her hands over the huge gash in his chest. “Shit Kat! That hurt,” he moaned.

  “Hurt you should,” Katalin scolded. She was smiling even though her eyes were wide with fear. “That was very stupid. I could have taken that hit… You’ve seen me stand alone before thousands and you jump in front of a knife for me. Are you stupid?”

  “I…” he let out a jagged breath. “I reacted… sue me,” he groaned and then stopped, coughing up blood.

  Rough, firm hands grabbed me from behind, forcing me to my feet and dragged me away from Dean and Katalin. I felt him trying to turn my face to him, but I wouldn’t let him. I was barely aware of Eric’s voice asking me if I was hurt. All I could focus on was that history was repeating itself right before my eyes. My past was flashing before me, just instead of Daren bleeding out on the floor and my begging him to not die, it was Dean and Katalin and I couldn’t rip my eyes away.

  Blood was soaking Katalin’s cloak making it darker than it already was. Dean let out a small sigh as his eyes closed, and the entire room went even more silent, if that was possible.

  Dina was abruptly standing over them and in a broken painful movement she fell to the floor at Dean’s side, exactly where I’d been just seconds ago. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she had one hand over her chest, clutching at the skin over her heart, almost as if she was trying to break it out of her chest. “Katalin…” Dina’s voice was barely a whisper. Katalin’s head snapped up at the sound of her name and she stared at Dina as if she was seeing her for the first time in her life.

  “He’s dying… I can feel the need to claim the pack pulling me... He’s dying…” Dina whispered, her eyes never leaving Dean.

  “No,” Katalin swallowed, her voice firm yet broken and small. “He can’t die, I won’t let him.” Silent tears slid down her perfect doll-like cheeks and I felt my throat tighten.

  Katalin took a deep breath, steadying herself as she looked down at Dean’s face, her fingers twirling his silver hair absentmindedly as she closed her eyes, swallowing. “I need you to trust me, just this once… please don’t question me?” Her voice was scary calm. Dina nodded instantly and I knew – I don’t know how I knew, but I knew – that there was bad blood between Katalin and Dina.

  More tears rolled down Katalin’s face as she opened her eyes staring at Dina. Without a word, she raised her hands and began fiddling with something inside of Dean’s t-shirt, around his neck. Her hands and fingers trembled uncontrollably and after a few seconds, she brought her hand back, holding a silver chain with a circular tribal pendant swaying from it. “Until Dean contacts you, you’re in command of the pack…” she said urgently, holding the chain out to Dina. “Go back to Thirdworld and keep up the façade that Dean and I are there.”

  “But Kat-”

  “No buts, Dina, you will do as I say. Make them believe that Dean returned with you. Do you understand?” Dina just nodded as she took the chain Katalin offered and literally vanished into the air.

  Tears rolled down my face and I felt Eric’s hand wrap around me tighter. Then he was suddenly pulling me backwards, away from them again. “Jen, don’t put yourself through this,” he begged, staring down at me. My eyes snapped to him for a second and then I dashed out of his arms going back to Katalin and Dean, not being able to look away from them.

  Eric grabbed me again hugging me tightly and this time I didn’t fight him. I buried my face into his chest sobbing, clutching unto him as if my life depended on it.

  Suddenly Katalin’s head snapped up, looking around the room. She instantly wiped her face dry and stood up. I still had my face buried in Eric’s chest, yet I saw everything around me clearly. It was as clear as if I was looking at it. I wasn’t though, my entire face was pressed against Eric, yet the scene refused to go away. I closed my eyes tighter, not wanting to see anymore. I didn’t want to see Dean die, and Katalin crying over him, yet in my head it play
ed like a movie.

  “Where is Jason?” Katalin asked searching the room. After a second, her eyes landed on him and she took a step towards him. “I want you to feed on me, like you feed on humans… then take whatever chi you got from me and give it to Dean.”

  “What?” Jason blurted out frowning at her as if she’d gone mad. “I’ve never done that before… and you’re a vampire Katalin, Dean’s a shifter. It won’t work.”

  “I’m also half human. I have to believe it will.” Katalin walked up to Jason standing directly in front of him.

  “I’ve never done this Katalin... transferred someone’s life force… I could kill you both.”

  “Jason you’re an incubus, the knowledge is there. Your ancestors have done this and so can you; you only need to follow your instincts.”

  Hesitantly, Jason nodded and then very slowly placed his hand at the side of her neck, pulling her up on her toes and towards him. Calculating each move, he leaned down to her, stopping inches away from her face.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked and she nodded at once. “Fuck,” Jason muttered and then kissed her. They pulled away from each other after a few long seconds, and Katalin immediately stumbled backwards dazed and dreamily. Before she could fall Jason caught and steadied her.

  “Whoa,” she whispered opening her eyes, revealing blue, endless pureblood eyes. She then pulled away from him, taking a step back. “Let’s do that again…” she whispered, almost as though she was high. In fact they both looked high. Jason more so, as he had a lopsided grin stretched across his lips. Katalin shook her head, “No, I mean… Dean...” she swallowed trying to concentrate. “Dean now.”

  Jason nodded and was then instantly kneeling over Dean’s body. His eyes glowing a soft aqua color. Jason hesitated for a second and then began breathing over Dean, expelling air from his mouth onto Dean’s face. At first nothing happened but then smoke the same color as his eyes slowly floated out from his mouth, settling unto Dean’s face like a mask. As Jason kept breathing on him, the glowing smoke brightened until it was not smoke anymore, but almost like a light.