Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology

by Anthony, Jane

  “That’s none of your business. Why do you care?”

  “Because I’m a friend, too. I care about you and who’s around you.”

  “You don’t need to worry. He’s a good guy, and so is Kurt and Ryan. They’re coming to the service tomorrow.”

  His eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re friends with three guys?”

  “Yes. I dated Kurt, but it didn’t work out, no chemistry. I met Ryan and Marc through him. Marc used to hate me.”

  “But things changed?”

  “He brought me home drunk one night.”

  “You don’t get drunk. You drink wine, and that’s it.”

  “I had a few beers and needed some help. I don’t do it often.”

  “He got you home and took advantage?” Austin growled.

  “No. He was the perfect gentleman. Why are we having this conversation? We’re not dating.”

  “I want you to be safe. I care about you.”

  “Stop worrying about me. I’m fine. Worry about your wedding.”

  “Jessie has it under control. I need to be there.”

  “You don’t sound pleased about it. Do you really want to marry her?”

  “Yes. Everything is set.”

  He looked down at his plate and pulled a piece of pepperoni off his pizza slice and shoved it into his mouth. I knew Austin well enough to know that something wasn’t right, but it wasn’t my place to ask. I concentrated reading an email on my phone. We separated after dinner. Austin went to watch television in the living room, and I went to my office.

  Tomorrow I would be taking off for Edith’s service, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t have anything urgent that needed my attention. Austin was sleeping on the couch again when I came out to get a bottle of water before I went to bed. I gently shook him, and he woke up.

  He looked up at me with half-lidded eyes. “Did I fall asleep again?”

  “Yes, you did. Go to bed. Tomorrow is a busy day.”

  I went to my room, and a few minutes later I heard the door to his close. The one thing that was bothering me about him was that he barely talked about Jessie or his wedding. You would think someone who was getting married in three weeks would be excited, even while dealing with somber events.

  I slipped into bed and was fast asleep in minutes from exhaustion. A few hours later, I was startled awake by what could only be described as howling. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I pushed the covers off me, ran to the door and threw it open.

  It was coming from Austin’s room. I quickly headed there and flipped the light switch on the wall. He immediately stopped and opened his eyes. Sweat beaded his face even though it wasn’t warm. His eyes were wild, and he was clenching his jaw.

  “What the hell is going on with you?” I said.

  “It was bad. I remember it this time.”

  I came and sat on the edge of his bed. “Tell me about it.”

  “My parents were in the accident, but this time so were my grandparents and Roman and I. I remember crawling through glass to get to them and each time I did, I found them dead.”

  “Did you have nightmares after your parents died?”

  “Yes, for a few months. Roman didn’t, but I did.”

  I stroked his dark hair off his forehead and ran my hand over his cheek.

  “It’s over. Try to relax.”

  “I know this is over the top and you can say no, but can you stay with me?”

  I frowned. “Isn’t that a little inappropriate since you’re getting married?”

  “What Jessie doesn’t know, won’t hurt her. Just for a little while. Lie down with me.”

  Against my better judgment, I slipped into bed with him. He was warm, and when I laid on my back, he put his head on my shoulder and arm around my waist. It was probably the wrong thing to do, but I missed him. I missed being close with someone.

  I had sex with Marc, but it wasn’t the same. We were just friends. I had a deeper connection with Austin, and I knew after he got married, we would probably never see each other. It pained me to think about it, and I forced back the stinging tears I felt pricking my eyes.

  I had a glorious dream while in Austin’s bed. He was making love to me, and I never felt so loved. His lips feathered over my face and he sucked on my earlobes, tracing the edges with the tip of his tongue. I felt myself getting wet as my core clenched and flooded with want. I woke, and it wasn’t a dream. Austin was kissing me.

  “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  “What I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

  “But you’re getting married.”

  “Give this to me. Just one more time.”

  “Austin, this isn’t a good idea.”

  “Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.”

  He kept kissing me, and the more he used his mouth on me, the weaker I became. I was caving into his charms and my desire. Before I could speak, he clamped his lips on mine and thrust his tongue inside. His hands roamed my body, first cupping my breasts then moving to cup my pussy. I was only wearing a pair of panties and a long t-shirt so that seduction would be easy for him.

  Austin wasted no time, finding my swollen clit and pressing his fingers against the thin cotton cloth of my panties. I craved his touch and bucked my hips in response to his manipulations.

  “That’s my girl. You’re always so responsive. Come for me.”

  I moaned as he pushed harder and rubbed faster until I broke apart and started to come.

  “Oh God, Austin.”

  “I love when you say my name. Say it again.”

  “Austin,” I panted.

  “I remember how you taste. I know you’re ready for me to use my mouth on you. Your panties are soaked.”

  He pushed the sheet off us and kneeled on the side of me, tugging at my underwear until I lifted my hips. I was powerless to say no, weakened by my need for him. He was the only one that could do this to me.

  “Your pussy is so wet. I can’t wait to taste you,” he whispered.

  I closed my eyes, and seconds later I felt him spread my lips wide and take deep licks. I winced as the tip of his tongue grazed my still sensitive clit. He gently cleansed me as he inserted two fingers into my soaking channel. I squeezed against him and heard him gasp.

  “I want you to come again.”

  That wouldn’t be hard since I was so close to doing it again. I felt him crook his fingers and rub over the tight bundle of nerves deep inside. A minute later, he had me climaxing again. I called his name and ran the pads of my fingers over my tightened nipples.

  “We need to take that shirt off. I want to see those beautiful tits of yours.”

  He pulled me up and kissed my lips. I could taste my muskiness on his mouth as he moved away and grasped the hem of my shirt. I was naked seconds later.

  “What about you?” I asked.

  “You want me naked?”

  “Please.”

  He pulled off his tank top, and I couldn’t help myself. I ran my hands over his muscular torso. His cock pressed against his sweatpants, causing them to tent, and I ran my fingers over his length.

  “I want to see.”

  Austin undid the drawstring and pushed them down. His thick penis bobbed up against his belly, and I stroked it, watching a bead of precum bubble on top of the head.

  “You want this?” he asked.

  I nodded, afraid that if I spoke, it would break the fog between us. What we were doing was so wrong, but I couldn’t stop, and it was obvious that neither could Austin. He pushed me down on the bed and got between my legs.

  “I’m not on anything.”

  “You stopped? When?”

  “A few months ago. I didn’t see any reason to continue. I have condoms in my room.”

  “I thought you said you weren’t having sex.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  He scowled. “So, he’s fucking you?”

  “Why does it matter? You’re with Jessie.”

 
“I want to know that you’re happy.”

  “Fuck me. That would make me happy.”

  He suddenly looked weary. “Where are the condoms?”

  “My nightstand.”

  He got off the bed and shoved his sweatpants down to his ankles, pushing them off with his feet. He left the room and came back with three blue wrapped condoms and one already sheathed over his cock.

  “Three?”

  He smiled sheepishly. “Maybe my fucking you will forget the others.”

  There is no one that can compare to you. I’ve already tried.

  He swiftly penetrated me, and even though I’d been having sex with Marc, he couldn’t match Austin’s girth or length. I felt a burning sensation as Austin entered me, which disappeared as he began to move. He screwed me, teasing my clit with his base, then backing off.

  I pulled him down so that I could meet his mouth with my own. His hips churned against mine, and I dug my nails against his ass. I wanted this for so long, and now that I was getting it, I felt sad because I knew it would be the last time. I fought off tears and moved my hands to his back, so I could feel the contours of his muscles with my fingers.

  We came together, and Austin took long strokes as he emptied himself into the condom. When he was finished, he rolled off me but turned on his side to take me in his arms.

  “It’s always so good with you.”

  “Thank you. I needed this so much.”

  “I’m not finished with you.”

  Austin made love to me twice more, and as I was dozing off, he kissed my forehead and I thought I heard him whisper he loved me, but I couldn’t be sure. I woke up before dawn and slipped out of his bed and went to my room. I was embarrassed I gave into him so easily.

  When Austin woke, I was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and eating a piece of toast. Our lovemaking spurred my appetite, but I’m sure it would disappear by the time Edith’s service was over.

  “How are you feeling this morning,” he asked.

  “Sore.”

  “I was a little rough last night.”

  I bit my lip and looked up at him. “Austin, why?”

  He looked at the counter. “Why was I rough?”

  “Why did you have sex with me?”

  Austin met my gaze. “Think of it as my last hurrah. I know that sounds like I’m an asshole, but I wanted to have you one more time.”

  “Suppose Edith never got sick? This would never happen.”

  “But she did, and we’re here together.”

  “And you have no guilt about what happened last night?”

  He shook his head. “No. I think it like the end of a chapter. Ours.”

  I pushed my toast away, no longer hungry. “That makes me sad.”

  “We can still be friends. I want to.”

  “I’m not sure we can. I know what’s going to happen. You’re going back to Los Angeles, getting married and maybe we’ll speak a few times during the year. Then come Christmas, we’ll exchange cards. The next year, we text or email a couple of times and then after that, probably nothing.”

  “Don’t say that,” Austin growled.

  “It’s true. We both moved on from each other. In three weeks, you’ll be married, and I’ll continue my fruitless search for a husband.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight, after my grandmother’s service.”

  I slipped off the stool. “Fine. I’m getting dressed.”

  Edith had a beautiful service. Kurt, Ryan, and Marc attended, and I sat with them. Each time I looked up, Austin was eyeing the four of us. When Marc took my hand, he scowled. We had a get together with refreshments at Edith’s neighbor’s apartment after the service was over.

  Later, in early evening when Austin and I arrived at my place, we went to our separate bedrooms to change. I was feeling melancholy about the events of the day and also the night before. Austin would be leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow morning, and it would probably be the last time I would see him.

  He needed to come back to Edith’s apartment to pack up her belongings, and I was sure he wouldn’t contact me when he did. He was fooling himself if he believed we would be anything more than acquaintances in the future.

  I came out of my room first. After the day we had, I needed a glass of wine to calm my nerves. Austin entered the kitchen as I was removing a bottle of white from the refrigerator.

  “You want anything?” I asked.

  “I don’t suppose you have any beer in there?”

  “No. You know I don’t drink it often. I can offer you some wine.”

  “You didn’t drink any when you were at my house.”

  “I wasn’t feeling well that day and hadn’t for a few days prior. I had a stomach virus. I still very much indulge.”

  “I’ll take a glass.”

  I poured him some and slid it across the counter. “Do you want to talk about this morning?”

  “You mean last night?” he said.

  “Both. You said we’d talk.”

  “I know it was a dick move to sleep with you, but I can’t get you out of my head sometimes.”

  My heart hurt with his admission. “Then why are you marrying her?”

  Austin swirled the wine in his glass. “Because we need to move on. We don’t work well together.”

  “You really think that? Or is it that you’re afraid I’ll do something you can’t control?”

  “I’m not controlling.”

  I took a sip of my wine. “But you’ve been fucked over by women before.”

  He grimaced. “I couldn’t control you. That was painfully obvious.”

  “I tried to compromise, but you wouldn’t have it. You wouldn’t even discuss it with me. It was just over,” I cried.

  “Compromising meant giving in, and I wasn’t prepared to do that at the time.”

  “What if it happened now? Would you be?”

  He took a long gulp of his wine. “Maybe.”

  “Does Jessie allow you to control her?”

  “She’s less independent than you because she relies on me for financial security.”

  “You mean, she likes your wallet. For fuck’s sake, how long do you think your relationship will last?”

  “I know her. She wouldn’t hurt me.”

  I stared at Austin. “You mean like I did? I made a decision you didn’t like, so it was over?”

  “I know I fucked up, but it’s the past. We both have futures without each other.”

  I finished my wine, and I felt like throwing the glass, but instead, gently set it down on the counter. “Then, this conversation is over. Have a nice life.”

  I left him sitting at the counter and headed to my bedroom. I closed the door and laid down on my bed, falling into an uneasy sleep. What a trying day this had been, and I doubted my upcoming weeks would get better with the pending lawsuit.

  I slept hard, and when I emerged from my bedroom, Austin was gone even though it was just before 5:30 PM. I had a bunch of work to get to, and I welcomed the upcoming holiday and my vacation after that. I needed a rest and some hot sun, and warm water would do me good.

  On Friday, Marc took me out to dinner and came back to my apartment to hang out. We’d grown closer than I was with Kurt and I appreciated his friendship. He began to kiss me, and his hand moved to my breast. I kissed him back, wanting the contact but it wasn’t the same as it had been before I had sex with Austin. I backed away from Marc, and he dropped his hand.

  He frowned. “What’s the matter?”

  I sighed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Is this about that Austin guy?”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because I saw the looks you two were giving each other. I thought the guy was going to bore a hole through me when I touched you.”

  “He just wants to make sure I’m treated right.”

  “No, it’s much more than that. He’s in love with
you.”

  I shook my head. “That is absolutely incorrect.”

  Marc grasped my hand. “You must be blind if you don’t see it. I think you love him too.”

  “That is definitely wrong. I don’t.”

  “Then why won’t you have sex with me?”

  I pulled my hand back and crossed my legs. “I’m not into this arrangement anymore. I need to find someone to date, not fuck.”

  Marc cupped my chin. “Then date me.”

  I looked into his eyes. “Excuse me?”

  “Date me. We get along well. We have chemistry in bed. I like you very much.”

  I backed away from him. “We’re friends.”

  “And friends can turn into something more.”

  “I was once friends with Austin, and now I’m not. Our relationship started off just like this, and now it’s over.”

  “He doesn’t want to be friends?”

  “I ended it. We had sex the night before Edith’s service.”

  Marc winced. “Admit it then. You love him.”

  I looked down at my hands, and Marc put his fingers under my chin to tip my face up.

  “You love him.”

  “I love him. I’m sorry. You would make a wonderful boyfriend.”

  “Just not for you. I understand.”

  He stood up, and I was afraid I was losing another friend.

  “Don’t go. I don’t want to lose your friendship.”

  “I’m not going. I’m getting you some tissues.”

  I looked at him puzzled. “Why tissues? I’m not crying.”

  “Because I want you to tell me everything about this stupid bastard and why you two aren’t together.”

  “Austin’s not stupid.”

  “He has to be to not be with you.”

  I told Marc everything, and the tissues were much needed as I cried at parts of my story. When I was finished, he held me in his arms.

  “What the hell is wrong with men?” he said.

  I blew my nose. “I’ve been asking myself that for a long time.”

  18

  Austin came back to New York a week later to help Roman clean out Edith’s apartment. It was just before Christmas and two weeks before his wedding. I dreaded the date, just one day before to the year we would’ve been married. I still couldn’t believe he would allow Jessie to choose that day. He sent me a short email to let me know he would be in the city. I didn’t reply. After how things ended the week before, I thought it better to have little contact.