Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology

by Anthony, Jane

  “Are you happy?”

  I flinch. Subtly, but she notices. Her eyes widen, and I turn away to stare down at the sand.

  I don’t look up when I say, “Why do you ask that?”

  “Because you don’t smile much,” she says matter-of-factly. “I think you smiled more nine years ago in the five minutes we spent together than you have this past week.”

  I jerk my head up. She’s watching me, her eyes filled with concern.

  “I’m happy,” I say to her. “I love my job. I have great friends and teammates. But once I turned pro, it seemed like everyone was looking for something from me. I learned that the only way to keep people at a distance was to not invite them in too close.”

  “You learned that as a pro?” she says. “Or a long time ago?”

  I reach out and tuck a wind-blown red-tipped hair back behind her ear. “You’re very observant. I just think I hard-coded some things as a kid, but once I became a public figure, those things became more of my go-to than perhaps they were when you first met me.”

  “That makes sense,” she says, and I exhale with relief when I realize she’s purposefully dropping the subject.

  We spend the next little while chatting about less painful things like our love of the beach, Southern California, and when we both learned to swim. But every chance I get, I look over at her.

  Eventually, though, the topic returns to the reason we’re both here.

  “I’ve only met Neil one time,” she says. “He seemed…nice.”

  A loud laugh comes out of my throat. “Please don’t sugarcoat it. Neil’s a work in progress.”

  She smiles, and I can read the relief in her eyes.

  “You don’t like him marrying your sister,” I say. It’s not a question.

  She glances away. “I admit I wasn’t thrilled about the news. They’ve only been dating a few months, and they’ve broken up more than once in that time.”

  “I told him it was the stupidest idea I’d ever heard,” I tell her. “He’s too young. Not because of his age even but his temperament. He’s not ready. Today was my first time meeting your sister. She’s quite different from you. I would never think you were related.”

  “She’s blond; I’m dark,” Jade says matter-of-factly. “She’s optimistic; I’m realistic. She’s always had every man in the world wrapped around her finger. We have different fathers; maybe that explains some of it. I don’t know.”

  “Jade.” I wait until she turns to look at me. “That wasn’t what I meant. I don’t think any woman can compare to you, to be honest. I can’t look away from you no matter how hard I try.”

  Her eyes soften. “Devon. That’s sweet, but…”

  But I’m just getting started. “You’re the most genuine, courageous, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. This past week has been brutal for me. Having to stay away from you when all I want is to get to know you. I’ve wondered about you for nine years, and now you’re right here, and I haven’t been able to learn all the things I’ve been curious about.”

  She reaches over and puts her hand firmly on top of mine. “So let’s get to know each other. We can do that as friends, right? That’s permissible.”

  “Friends?” I let out a short laugh. “I’m not sure you and I being just friends is possible, Jade.”

  Her hand tightens on mine. “Why not?”

  I lean in closer, close enough to hear her catch her breath. “That’s why,” I say in her ear. “Because you and I have a connection that won’t be sated by mere friendship. It will burn for more, and I’m not sure how to resist it. I’m not sure I want to.”

  Her eyes turn so blue I feel like I’m drowning in them.

  “Devon…” Her phone starts blaring in her pocket, and she pulls away from me. “Sorry.”

  She takes out her phone and swipes the screen. “Mel? What is it?”

  When she hangs up a couple minutes later, she says she needs to get back to help her sister with the rehearsal dinner.

  So we return to the hotel.

  And I should be grateful to her sister for not letting things get out of hand.

  But I’m not.

  I’m irritable as hell.

  And I want Jade more than ever.

  She says she needs to change before she meets her sister in the restaurant, so I offer to walk her up to her room.

  She accepts, and we take the elevator in silence.

  When we reach her room, she invites me inside.

  Now that I wasn’t expecting.

  And I’m feeling way off my game because I know she has to go help her family, so I’m not exactly sure why she’s asked me in.

  But I follow her through the door and walk over to the floor-to-ceiling window.

  “Nice views we’ve got in these rooms,” I say, more to make conversation than anything else.

  “Yeah. The view is very nice.” She pauses, and I flick my gaze to hers.

  “What is it?” I say quietly. “Something on your mind?”

  She tilts her head toward the bed.

  I don’t know what my shocked reaction must look like, but Jade laughs heartily.

  “You’re cute when you don’t know what to do, Devon.” She walks over to her bedside table and picks up…

  “Your father’s remains.” I roll my eyes at myself, feeling like a dumbass. “Sorry.”

  “No worries.” She holds up the urn. “Being on the beach with you gave me an idea. I was trying to hear myself earlier when I walked with Paris and Cali, but it wasn’t until I was with you that…”

  “That what?”

  “That I knew where to let my father’s ashes go.”

  I walk over to her. “Oh, yeah? Where?”

  “My dad grew up by the water. And I think he’d like to be buried in the sea.” She puts the urn back on the table but keeps her gaze focused on me. “I want to do it tonight after the dinner. When it’s dark and no one’s around.”

  I nod. “The ocean sounds like a perfect place for him. But I don’t like the idea of you being out in the dark by yourself. If you wait until we get home, you could use the private beach by my house. No one is around, and it’s quite safe.”

  She shakes her head. “I can’t wait till I return to L.A. I don’t want to drive back with him in the car again. It’s too difficult.”

  Before I can decide what to suggest, she says in a rush of words, “Will you maybe come with me?”

  I run my hand over the back of my neck and don’t answer her at first.

  I keep myself shielded from family-related events for a reason, and being at this wedding is difficult enough for me. Throw in that today is the anniversary of the day things began to fall apart, and I’m not in the best of moods.

  I decide to be honest. “I don’t think I’m the right person to accompany you,” I say to her. “Not because of anything to do with you. It’s just me and funerals. We don’t mix.”

  She gives me a closer look like she’s seeing me for the first time. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I just…” I glance down at the container of her father’s remains. I feel like the damn thing is taunting me, daring me to overcome my childhood trauma.

  “Are you okay?” she asks me, putting her hand on my arm.

  I force myself to meet her eyes. “I’m fine. I’m going to go, though, and let you get ready to meet your sister. I’ll see you at dinner later?”

  “See you then,” she says.

  I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. And then, I turn and walk away, not allowing myself to get lost in the feel of her soft skin against my mouth or the nearly inaudible sigh that escapes her lips when I touch her.

  Time to find the groom and have a few drinks together.

  14

  Jade

  That was a disaster.

  Asking Devon to come with me to dispose of my father’s remains? Very dumb idea.

  Of course he would say no. Any sane person would have done the same. We barely know each oth
er; I’m not even sure what possessed me to ask him.

  Something about our connection on the beach led me to that ill-determined request. And he was so sweet back at his house when I told him about my father.

  But as much as I wish I could take back asking him, something else besides my request being awkward as hell made him say no to me. His eyes turned haunted when he turned me down, and the look of pain on his face made me want to give him a hug. His reasons were clearly not ones he wanted to share, however.

  And so I didn’t push.

  Forcing myself to focus on why I’m here, I jump into the shower and change into a fitted blue sleeveless dress and casual sandals. I hope Melody will consider it to be presentable attire for her rehearsal dinner, considering I didn’t even know about the dinner until I arrived.

  I head for the elevator and run into Cole.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” he says as he puts his arm around me and we ride the car down to the lobby. “Did Mel rope you into helping her too?”

  “Sure did.” I follow him into the restaurant where Melody and Mom are arguing with the hostess.

  The argument is really one-sided as the hostess is spending her time apologizing for basically everything—the place settings, the cloth napkins, which were supposed to be cream but are actually white, and the dessert options.

  “I thought we decided on three types of cupcakes,” Mom says. “I only see two on this list.” She waves a piece of paper at the hostess, who cringes and disappears into the kitchen to check.

  Mom manages to notice I’m there long enough to give me a wave before she and Melody chase after the hostess.

  Left alone, Cole and I spend a few minutes joking about our family, and then he turns serious, which is very un-Cole-like.

  “I’m sorry about your dad.”

  I wince. “Let’s not go there. We don’t talk about our fathers. It’s always worked out best that way.”

  “Well, maybe we should start.” He walks over to a corner table and takes a seat. “Join me.”

  I sit across from him. “I appreciate your concern, Cole, but I’m really okay. What happened between Dad and me was a long time ago.”

  “But it was a firestorm,” he says, his dark eyes brooding and concerned. “I was too caught up in my own pain to be thinking about yours. Now that I’m an adult, I can’t believe what you went through. Alone.”

  “Hey.” I smile at him. “You and I are good. We’ve always been good. My relationship with everyone else has never come between us. And it won’t now either.”

  He nods, seeming unconvinced, but he lets the subject drop.

  Serious Cole is almost more attractive than easygoing Cole, and I wonder why he showed up this weekend without a date. God knows he’d have his pick of women.

  “Are you seeing anyone?” I ask him.

  He gives a gruff laugh. “No. What about you?”

  “No. Like always,” I say in retort.

  “You know what? I think you’ve got somebody stashed away.” His eyes flicker with interest. “Who is he?”

  “Nobody.” Like God is testing me, my phone buzzes on the table between us.

  It’s just out of my reach, but Cole grabs it to hand over. As he does, he glances at the screen. “Who’s Nine Years Ago?”

  “Long story.” I take the phone and read Devon’s text.

  I’m sorry about earlier.

  Before I can respond, another text comes in from him.

  I’m honored that you asked me. And I want to be the right person.

  And then a third text—

  If you still want me there, I’m in.

  I don’t realize I’m smiling until I hear Cole say, “Is this the guy you refuse to tell me about? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that.”

  I look up at my brother, who raises his eyebrows. “Scratch that,” he says. “I’ve definitely never seen you smile like that.”

  “Like what?” I ask him.

  “Like your smile reaches your eyes.”

  I hesitate a split second before texting Devon back. Thank you. See you tonight.

  Devon

  Neil clicks his shot of whiskey to mine. “Cheers. Thanks for coming.”

  “Cheers to you,” I say before swallowing my shot and putting the glass down on the counter of the hotel bar.

  He throws back his shot and then reaches automatically to run his hand through his overgrown, but just-styled, brown hair.

  “Don’t get fucked up,” I warn him. “You’ve got your rehearsal dinner in an hour.”

  He grimaces, his brown eyes narrowing in annoyance. “My future mother-in-law is so militant,” he complains. “She wants everything perfect.”

  “Well, she’s nowhere in sight right now. Let’s just relax.”

  I’m not here to lecture Neil. I’ve done enough of that over the years. And the night before his wedding isn’t the time to try to talk him out of it.

  So we spend the next hour catching up on each other’s lives. I haven’t seen him in a while, not since he came to visit for a few days last year.

  “You doing all right?” Neil asks me. “You seem distracted.”

  He doesn’t know what today means to me. I never share that with anyone. With my fucked-up childhood, I have two days a year I’d just as soon delete from the calendar, and I keep my problems private. Pain is better off sometimes left where it came from—in the past.

  If I could just sleep through today’s date and wake up when it’s over, life would be a whole lot easier. Throw a wedding in on top of it—complete with happy families—and I’m pretty much looking forward to the end of the weekend.

  Except for Jade. She’s made everything about today bearable. If it weren’t for her, I’d be a drunken mess right now.

  “I’m good,” I promise him. “I think I fucked up with a woman, though.”

  It just spills out of my mouth.

  “What?” He stares at me. “You’ve never said anything along those lines before. All you ever talk about is keeping things casual. As casual as fucking possible,” he quotes me.

  “Yeah, well. That’s true. But I still fucked up.”

  “How? What happened?”

  “She asked me for a favor, and I turned her down.”

  “What kind of a favor?” he asks me as he signals the bartender for two beers.

  “Something personal. Something I didn’t think I had it in me to give.”

  “Do you?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.” But I think I need to take the risk. It’s killing me to imagine Jade either asking somebody else to go with her tonight or her deciding to go alone. Neither alternative feels right.

  I take out my phone. “I’m going to text her.”

  “Good.”

  I’ve got my thumbs poised over the keys and have typed out, I’m sorry, when a noise gets my attention.

  I look behind Neil. The hotel restaurant is connected to the bar, and the doors between the two rooms have just been opened.

  Jade is sitting at a table with some guy. He’s smiling at her, and she looks comfortable. Not necessarily happy, but she’s definitely comfortable.

  The very image of them makes my gut churn. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t care. I walked away from her because I thought it was the right thing to do, and now I’m on the outside looking in.

  I quickly hit send on my text, and watch as the guy picks up her phone and hands it to her.

  Before she can overthink my text, I type out another message.

  I’m honored that you asked me. And I want to be the right person. I hit send again.

  And then a third text—

  If you still want me there, I’m in.

  Now she’s smiling. And so am I.

  “Dude, whoever this chick is, you’ve fallen bad,” Neil says. “You should see your fucking face.”

  I just shrug and stare at my phone screen, waiting for her response.

  Thank you. See you tonight.

>   Tonight.

  Jade

  Rehearsing for Melody and Neil’s wedding is surreal. I’m not a big wedding girl; I’m one of those unicorn women who’s honestly never dreamed of her own wedding day. But I’m certainly not immune to the view of Devon standing next to Neil at the makeshift altar on the beach in front of the hotel.

  His muscular thighs fill out his black dress pants, and his chest is straining against his crisp white shirt. By the time my gaze makes it over his simple black tie and up past his kissable lips to the cool blue of his eyes, I have to hold back a sigh.

  Devon is the hottest guy here.

  And the way he tries to be there for Neil, who clearly looks up to him, is so sweet.

  After the walk-through ceremony, Devon has to escort me down the aisle. Even though it’s only as best man and maid of honor, it feels meaningful to me. I sneak a look over at him, but his eyes are focused on me.

  So I jerk my head to face forward again. I’m pretty sure I hear him chuckle next to me as we make our way across the beach and back to the hotel restaurant.

  “Didn’t know you had a brother,” he says as we wait for Mom to tell us what to do next.

  “Cole’s my favorite relative,” I say.

  “I saw you two together earlier.” Devon says it gruffly, like he’s embarrassed about something.

  “You did? When?”

  “When I thought you were with some other guy.” His blue eyes meet mine, and I smile.

  “So you thought I was with someone.”

  “I wasn’t sure.” He tugs at his tie. “The only thing I was sure of was that I didn’t like it. I know that makes me an ass.”

  “A jealous ass?” I tease him.

  “Definitely.” He runs a hand through his thick, dark hair distractedly. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Jade.”

  The rest of the room fades away, and Devon’s face is all I see.

  “I know the feeling,” I say under my breath.

  But he hears me.

  “Yeah?” His mouth grows closer to mine.