A Geek Girl's Guide to Arsenic

by Julie Anne Lindsey

  Fifi waved from the rug beside the fireplace. “Mia!”

  I took a seat with her and absorbed the activity around us. Jake made his rounds, clapping shoulders and accepting hugs. There was easily a thirty-year age range from kids in high school letterman coats to others clearly old enough to be their parents. Maybe they were. Everyone nodded and welcomed me. No one asked questions. I had a feeling I could thank Parker for that.

  After his hellos, Jake folded himself onto the rug with us. He settled a paper plate piled with pizza on one knee. “You doing okay?”

  “Yep.”

  He dug in his jacket pocket and freed his phone. “Fifi, you studied plants, right?”

  “Yes!” She took the phone. “I love plants.” Her expression of peace and reverence at the sight of the thing morphed into something scary after she examined the little screen and took a minute to absorb the wretched words. “Oh my goodness.”

  Jake dotted his lips with a napkin. “What can you tell me about it?”

  “It’s a threat. The leaf looks like papyrus, but I can’t be positive from a picture. The ink is probably stuff you buy at the store.” She traced her pointer finger over the screen. “I bet this has something to do with what happened to Mia’s sister. Nate didn’t go into details, but this would explain a whole lot.”

  I nodded. “We know. I checked with the Faire florist and he said you can order it online. Do you know anything about that?”

  She returned the phone to Jake. “You can get anything online. It’s probably on eBay.”

  I made a mental note to shop eBay more often. Apparently, they had everything. “What do you think the three means?’

  “I don’t know, but it’s weird, right?” Fifi mused. “The whole Faire theme is Renaissance times. No one used papyrus during that period, so why didn’t the person sending this just use paper?”

  Jake tipped a beer to his lips. “Dramatic effect? Maybe to make a point.”

  “What point?” Fifi and I said in unison.

  Jake set the bottle aside and squinted at his buzzing phone. “Dan’s here.”

  The door opened, and Dan swept inside. He headed for the fridge and helped himself to a beer before scanning the room for Jake. He distributed handshakes on his way to the fireplace. Shockingly, he folded himself beside me. “Your sister and brother-in-law were discharged. They’re both fine. I put a detail on your family and debriefed the lot of them. Everyone’s staying with your grandma until this blows over. Those big old walls over at Horseshoe Falls will come in handy.”

  Unless the killer knows about the path through the woods. I pushed the thought aside. What were the odds of two killers knowing that little tidbit?

  Fifi repositioned herself closer to Dan. “What happens next?”

  “We’re retracing our original leads tomorrow. See if we missed something.”

  I stiffened. “No new leads?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “Ever find the goons who rented the car?”

  “Nope.”

  The door sprang open and two women covered in mud strode inside. They kicked off their boots and shucked their jackets before sliding out of camo print coveralls.

  The taller one smiled at Dan. “They’re all yours.” She chucked a key, and he caught it in midair.

  The other girl did the same, throwing her key to Jake. He spun the key on his finger and leaned my way. “Boston and Phoenix.”

  “Gotcha.”

  Dan stood slowly and arched his back. “Not me. I’m beat. Eric? You and Parker want to go muddin’?”

  “Hell, yeah!” Eric folded his cards and vacated his seat at an ongoing poker game to collect the keys.

  Jake grabbed my hand and shoved onto his feet. “Come on. I’ve got coveralls from junior high that might fit you.”

  I stumbled across the room, seeking Nate for a speedy escape. He smiled and waved, cheerfully sliding onto the seat Eric had abandoned.

  What the heck were we doing? Going mudding? What was that about? I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to find out. I liked it by the fireplace. “I don’t know how to mud.”

  Jake laughed and shoved me into a bedroom. He slid the closet door open and tossed black coveralls my way. “Pull them on over your clothes and I’ll find you a hunting jacket.”

  “We’re going hunting?” I squeaked.

  He left without answering and dragged the door shut behind him.

  This was why I avoided parties.

  * * *

  Parker gave me the rundown as we walked onto the front porch dressed for combat.

  Jake and Eric climbed aboard the two mud-soaked four-wheelers and waved us over.

  Jake scooted forward and smiled. “Climb on.”

  “I’m not sure I can do this.”

  His normally stormy eyes twinkled. This was his turf. His land. His good time. “Swing your leg over and have a seat. It’s like riding a horse.”

  I shook my head. “Uh, not at all.”

  He barked a laugh. “Correct. Now, hurry up so we can chase them.”

  Eric and Parker raced through the dark field beside Jake’s house, watched by a sky full of stars.

  I sucked it up and lowered my body behind Jake’s. There was nowhere to hold on. “Um.” I placed my palms gingerly against the sides of his coat.

  In a lightning-quick move, Jake grabbed my hands and pulled them tight around his middle, bringing my body flush against his. “Hold on.” He released me in favor of the handlebars and revved the engine.

  Every muscle in my body tensed. I squeezed his hips with my thighs.

  The machine jumped into gear and we tore through the night. Brisk autumn wind whipped against my face.

  “Ahh!” I screamed and laughed and bounced over things I couldn’t see in the dark, secure and fearless in Jake’s care.

  When we got back to Jake’s, my beanie hat was soaked in mud, along with the rest of me. The tension, however, had dissipated. The wild ride had shaken my inhibitions loose. Who needed alcohol when there was ten acres of farmland to destroy?

  Mudding was my new favorite.

  * * *

  It was after one when Jake pulled into the lot outside my building. The night was different in my world. Peppered with traffic sounds and generally well lit. Nothing like the place we’d left behind.

  I walked slowly to my building, stretching each leg as I moved. “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk straight tomorrow.”

  Jake snorted. “I’m going to leave that statement alone.”

  I unlocked the door and waited, but Jake didn’t budge. “Do you want to come up?”

  He looked at his feet, the sky and then me. “Nah. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

  Disappointment and rejection blazed stupidly through me. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

  “Unless you want me to. I mean, I can if you need me to check the rooms for you.”

  “No. I’m fine.” I slipped inside the building with my shoulders, back and chin up. “Talk to you later.”

  I rounded the corner to the elevator and bounced the heel of my hand off my forehead. The drive to my place from his took an hour. He’d driven me all the way home just to leave.

  My phone buzzed with a text from Jake as I stepped out of the elevator on my floor. Text me after you look in all the rooms. I won’t leave until I get the all clear.

  I ran through the rooms, peeping behind curtains and under furniture. All Clear.

  No. No one waited in my apartment.

  No one waited for me anywhere.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Nate arrived at my office an hour before I finished work. He greeted me with a wink and coffee. “Don’t mind me. I’ve got plenty to keep me busy.” He produced a
smart water from his bag and set it on Fifi’s desk. Small pieces of fruit floated inside.

  She smiled.

  He set up his laptop on the printer table and stuffed earbuds into his ears before I could object.

  My mind wandered ruthlessly over a list of possible culprits and ways to inflict extensive pain on the one who hurt my sister.

  “Come on.” Nate slapped my desk. “You’re daydreaming. You haven’t touched your keyboard in ten minutes, and it’s five. Let’s go. The sooner you get to the Faire and see Bree gleefully shaking her bottom onstage, the sooner you’ll believe things are better than you think.”

  He was right. I wanted to see Bree. Let her sass me. Complain about my life. Whatever she wanted. “Fine.”

  We walked Fifi to her car before heading to my place.

  I unlocked my apartment door and held it with my hip for Nate to pass. “Did you drive all the way to Horseshoe Falls so I didn’t have to walk home alone after work?”

  He pulled a face. “No.”

  “Ah, then this visit was planned. You’re coming tonight to watch Bree perform.”

  “No again. That’s an image I don’t want in my head. I have an appointment with a financial planner tonight. Spending all that money on REIGN has given me nightmares. What if this venture fails and I end up with no savings, living in one of those old age homes for people without money? Do you know what happens to those people?”

  I let my head fall forward in bad friend shame. “Life keeps distracting me. I’m good for half. I promise. I’m so sorry I haven’t gotten it to you yet.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I need to get my finances in order anyway. I’ve been putting this off for over a year, and I finally have sufficient motivation. Do you know I’ve been out of grad school for six years? My student loans are paid off, and the money’s accumulating. Banks only offer a half percent interest on savings accounts. It’s insane. There must be a better way to save.” He peered into the empty fruit bowl on my island and frowned. “My stock portfolio isn’t bad, but it could use a professional eye.”

  I opened the freezer and tossed him a bag of frozen pizza rolls. “Make sure the planner doesn’t screw you. That happens way too often. Nuke those if you’re hungry. I don’t think the bag’s been tampered with, but eat here at your own risk. Don’t make any for me.” I zoomed to my room for a quick change.

  The microwave hummed to life.

  Nate’s voice carried down the hall. “Friendsgiving was fun.”

  My cheeks warmed with memories of roaring through the dark with Jake. “Yeah. You and Fifi seemed cozy.” I thumbed through a row of fresh-pressed Guinevere gowns in my closet in search of my favorite, a crimson-and-gold velvet number with a square neckline and billowy sleeves. Bingo. I hoisted it over my head and yanked the zipper between my shoulder blades. My curling iron heated on the vanity as I twisted my hair into the elaborate updo I preferred with this dress.

  “I like her. She’s fun and not at all like anyone would expect by looking at her.” His voice was closer.

  I pulled my door open. “Is this zipper stuck?”

  “No. It’s all the way up.”

  “Oh, okay. I have to finish my hair. Come on in.”

  He collapsed onto my bed, and I got to work with the iron. Nate sighed. “I miss Baxter.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” I still talked to him when I was alone. I’d sent emails to his account for weeks after his death. The process of letting go was slower than I’d expected, and the guilt was crushing.

  A few curls later, I jammed a dozen extra bobby pins into the style for good measure and wiggled my head. Nothing moved. “Okay. Done.”

  Nate turned his head to face me but didn’t get up. “Is it like we’re replacing Baxter, if we let Fifi into our little group?”

  “No. Can you even imagine what Baxter would say if he saw her? I take a hit on my self-confidence every time she walks in the room.”

  Nate didn’t argue.

  I did a mental raspberry and headed for the kitchen. “Your pizza rolls are probably done.”

  He beat me to the quiet microwave and hauled out the steaming plate. “Have you talked to Bree today?”

  “Yeah. She’s fine. The doctors said the doses she and Tom got weren’t lethal, not even enough to do real damage. Whoever poisoned them knew what they were doing.” I poured a glass of water from the sink.

  Nate straddled a stool at my counter. “What about the manny?”

  “They’re testing him for plant-based poisons now.”

  “Did you know belladonna means beautiful lady?”

  I scoffed. “Duh.”

  “How about the fact it was used in Italy during the sixteenth century to open a woman’s pupils? They thought it was pretty. It’s been used for everything from asthma to hemorrhoid suppositories over the years.” He shoved a pizza roll into his mouth.

  “I think I just threw up a little.”

  “What? Hemorrhoids happen. Wait until you have kids.”

  I choked on my water and shoved my palm between us like a traffic cop. “Shut. Up.”

  “I read articles on Web Doctor all night. I’m thinking of getting my MD. It’s not that many more credits and MCATs seem easy enough.”

  “Who says that? Do you know how many people plan their entire lives around becoming a doctor but they can’t pass that test? You’re such a narcissist.”

  “Oh, right, and you think they’d be hard? You think you couldn’t pass?”

  I walked away. “Hurry up or I’ll be late. I have to watch Gwen so Bree can do a quick run-through before the cabaret. This is opening night.”

  He carried the plate with him to the door. “I can’t believe she’s still performing.”

  “Are you kidding? It’d take the apocalypse to keep Bree off a stage.”

  Nate looked pensive when we boarded the elevator but didn’t voice whatever bothered him.

  I eyeballed the plate of pizza rolls in his hand. “You have to give that back, you know. Wash it first.”

  We stepped into the day together and he stopped at my car. “Hang on.” He dug his phone from one pocket then stuffed it back. “Kenna.”

  “Jake asked about you two. What’s going on there?”

  “Nothing. She’s young. Hot, but young. We had nothing in common. Do you know she prefers the new Star Wars movies? Hasn’t even seen four, five or six.”

  I clucked my tongue, appropriately dismayed. “Kids these days.”

  “I know. Right? Anything new with you and your marshal?”

  “Nope. You know how it goes. There’s no love for a geek girl.”

  He opened his mouth to argue, but “Flight of the Bumblebee” buzzed though my phone, and he closed his lips.

  I pressed the speaker button. “Bree? I’ve got you on speaker. Nate’s here.”

  “I need a favor.”

  Nate smiled.

  I pulled in a long breath. I could feel the request coming. She wanted me to go out with her little weirdo director. “The real Renaissance man.” Yuck. Then again, it was the least I could do after the mess I’d gotten her into. Thirty minutes on a bench with Adam, some coffee and a hot pretzel should make us even. “Yes. I’ll go out with Adam. If you say he’s my perfect match, then who am I to argue?” He wasn’t even close to perfection, but I owed her.

  She squealed. “That’s amazing! I’ll call him. Wait. No. You tell him. That’s why I’m calling, actually. I got dressed for the show and when I got in the car, I started crying. Don’t you dare tell anyone that, Nate. Ever.”

  He leaned through my open window. “Of course not.”

  A wave of nausea stole my breath. “Are you okay? You’re not sick again, are you? Did you eat anything today?”

  “It’s nothing like that. It�
��s probably PTSD. I think I’ve mentally associated what happened with the performance, which I realize is nuts, but you know what that’s like.”

  I exchanged a look with Nate. “I do.”

  “Great. Then, it’s settled. Mom picked up my costume and will meet you at the Faire. Dad will help her at the booth, and you’ll go on for me tonight.”

  “What?” I screeched. “Nononononono.”

  Nate disappeared. He landed on the ground, pulsating with silent laughter.

  I opened and shut the door to bonk him. “I cannot do that, Bree. I can go out with Adam for you. I’ve been on my share of crappy dates. I can do that. I can’t perform a burlesque routine in front of an audience in that little slip of silk you call a costume. No.”

  “Mia!” Her voice snapped from sweet and cordial to I-will-pull-your-hair. Hard. “Yes, you can, and you will. You have an eidetic memory. You’ve seen me practice the routine multiple times. You can do this.”

  “I’m not a dancer. You’re the dancer. You do. I watch. It’s how we survived adolescence.”

  “Exactly. Just switch places with me like we used to. No one will ever know. If you make a mistake, everyone will think it’s me. What do you have to lose?”

  My mind? “No.”

  “Please?”

  “Uh-uh.”

  She huffed into the phone. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but I can’t let the whole cabaret down, Mia. I wouldn’t be experiencing this panic if it wasn’t for you drawing some lunatic’s attention our way. Lots of people knew John. Lots of people were there when he died. Only you jumped in feetfirst like one of Charlie’s Angels and pissed the killer off!”

  I sucked air. “That’s low.”

  Nate peeped over the edge of my door before straightening himself and making a replica telephone with his thumb and pinky finger. He mouthed, “Call me later,” and got out of Dodge before I exploded.

  I fumed at the phone in silence. Did I owe her? Was it my fault? Jake said it wasn’t, but did it matter what he thought? At the moment, it seemed to matter what Bree thought, and she thought it was my fault she was poisoned.

  “Mia?”

  “Fine, but I hate you.”