When We Fall

by Sloane Murphy

  “He’s a good boy, Erin – but his temper worries me,” Monica says softly.

  “He didn’t hurt me, Monica. It was Evan. And you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same if you were him,” I argue.

  “I guess you’re right,” she sighs. “At least I know you’ll always have him looking out for you if I’m not around. You two might not have known each other long, but anyone with eyes can see that boy is head over heels in love with you,” she says, stroking my hair.

  “Men like that don’t come around too often, you hold on tight to him.”

  I nod at her as Mason struggles through the door, loaded up with bags and rolling his eyes at me.

  There’s a ghost made of words hovering at the back of my head. Something Monica said that didn’t fall right, that unsettled me. I shake my head and the thought away. Mason is fooling around like some crazy clown and I wonder if Monica was right when she said he loves me.

  Chapter Ten

  “The world breaks everyone, and afterward,

  some are strong at the broken places.”

  ~ Ernest Hemmingway

  Christmas break rolls around, and the swelling and bruising on my eye has finally gone. Tegan, Chrissy, and Becca loved taunting me about it, but when they heard how I got it, they stopped, because God forbid, someone defend me the way Mason did. It caused something of a ceasefire, and they steered clear of me and Scottie for the rest of the term.

  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I’m finally helping Monica decorate our tree. Scottie volunteered to help, but all she’s done so far is eat half of the popcorn for the popcorn string we’re making.

  “You guys really go all out for Christmas, huh?” She asks, looking around at the house. I never thought it was over the top; Monica loves Christmas so we’ve always made a big deal of it.

  “Yeah we do. I love Christmas, so does Monica.”

  “Kudos. I wish we did, I mean, Mom and Dad try, but there’s so many of us that the little one come first, ya know?” Scottie says.

  She has six little brothers and sisters. I can’t even imagine a house that full.

  “Well, we have more than enough if you guys want to join us, Scottie. The more the merrier,” Monica says, beaming. “We already have guests coming, so please don’t feel like you’re intruding.”

  “Erm, sure. I’ll speak to my mom about it later.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Let her know I’ll call her tonight to work out the details.” She smiles. “More hot chocolate, girls?”

  “Yes please,” I say as she dances into the kitchen. Like I said, this is one of her favorite holidays.

  “Are you sure it would be okay?” Scottie asks me.

  “Oh yeah, Mon loves having a full house. It’s rare it happens these days. She’ll love it.”

  “Awesome,” she beams, before starting on her popcorn string again. This Christmas is going to be amazing.

  ***

  I’ve spent most of my Christmas eve helping Monica prepare for dinner tomorrow and wrapping gifts. I love doing it, there’s something calming about the precision of it all, tying the ribbon and fastening bows. Maybe I’m weird, but who cares. I get dressed, ready for midnight mass. The one thing about Uncle Jamie being the local pastor… Midnight Mass is a must.

  I head downstairs, to see Monica asleep on the sofa. I shake her awake gently.

  “Hey, sleepy head. You ready?”

  “Sure am,” she says yawning and stretching out. “Been a long day!”

  “Sure has, let’s go, then come back and sleep. We’ve got some time before people arrive in the morning.”

  “Sounds like a plan, batman. Let’s go.”

  We wrap up and climb in to the car. By the time we get to the church, the place is packed. We manage to park and head inside. I see Mason, Parker and Grams, waving them over as Monica speaks to Jamie.

  “I didn’t know you guys were coming,” I say to Mason, smiling up at him as he reaches us.

  “Grams dragged us,” Parker moans and Grams flicks his ear.

  “Have some respect, boy,” she demands.

  “Hi, Grams,” I say and she pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tight. She might be old, but you’d never dare say it to her face.

  “Hello, sweetheart.”

  “Put the poor girl down, Grams,” Mason jokes as she lets go of me.

  “Hey, guys,” Monica says coming over with Jamie. “You all ready?” She asks.

  Jamie makes his way to the front of the church and we all sit together like family.

  ***

  After mass, we congregate outside while Monica talks to Grams, and Scottie’s mom about what time everyone is heading over in the morning, Mason wraps me up in his arms, keeping the chill away.

  “Happy Christmas, Erin,” he whispers into my ear. He pulls back and hands me a small box. I just look at the black velvet box with a sense of both excitement and dread. I already know that it’s going to be too much.

  “Open it,” he prompts.

  I open it slowly and see a silver necklace sparkle in the light. At the bottom of it is an infinity sign, set with small crystals, they look like diamonds. It has the inscription, ‘Always and forever’.

  “Mason, this is,” I say breathlessly, “this is beautiful. Thank you.”

  He takes the necklace from the box and turns me around, before clasping it around my neck.

  “It doesn’t even compare to you,” he says before leaning down and kissing me, taking my breath away again.

  “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, Mason Knight, but I thank my lucky stars every single day.”

  “You kids ready to head home?” Monica calls out, and we turn back to her. I lift my hand to my necklace, I can’t believe he got me something so beautiful. So thoughtful.

  Always and Forever.

  ***

  The knock on the door comes before we realize the time, and it’s not long before the house is full of life and laughter. The women are all in the kitchen with Monica, drinking egg-nog. Parker brought over his Xbox, and he’s at war with Scottie’s two little brothers, her dad, and Jamie. I’m not sure exactly what they were playing, but it looks energetic, that’s for sure. Presents are waiting until after dinner, which caused major groans and tantrums, but they died down pretty soon.

  I’m sat in the garden with Mason and Scottie, who is loving the swing on the oak tree back here.

  “Have you guys thought much about what you’re going to do after high school?” Scottie asks.

  “I’ll probably just start working, and keep helping Grams with Parker,” Mason says. The sadness in his voice hits me.

  “What would you do if you didn’t have to do that? If you could do anything?” I ask.

  “I’d travel, and I’d sketch. There’s so much out there I want to see, to explore – to experience,” he says wistfully.

  “I didn’t know you drew,” I say, surprised.

  “What can I say, I’m a man of mystery,” he jokes.

  “What about you, Erin?”

  “I always wanted to help people. I got early acceptance into pre-med at UT, so I guess that’s me. What about you?”

  “I got into Julliard,” Scottie says quietly.

  “Holy shit, Scottie! That’s amazing! I didn’t even know you wanted to go.”

  “That’s because I didn’t tell anyone. I’ve always danced, it’s something I always wanted to do, but it’s not really a thing here. That’s why you guys hardly see me. I’m always in Austin, dancing. But I got early entry on a full ride. I’ve still got to tell my parents, but I don’t know how to.”

  “Are you kidding? This is amazing! You need to tell them; they’ll be so proud of you!” I squeak, jumping up and hugging her. “Just like I am.”

  “I applied to Curtis, too, I didn’t think I’d actually get in.”

  “Dude, this is amazing! Gah, I am so happy for you!”

  “Maybe I’ll go tell my folks; it’s a better present than I got them alrea
dy,” she laughs and heads inside.

  “So, travelling huh? Have you ever thought about heading out and going?”

  “Maybe, once upon a time, but it’s just not possible now, not with Grams and Parker needing me. Especially not when my girlfriend is going to be some big-time doctor. I’m pretty sure she’d miss me if I was gone,” he says, nuzzling into my neck.

  “Miss you? Someone’s full of themselves,” I joke and he starts to tickle me. “I’m joking, mercy!” I squeal and he stops his assault.

  “You know, that’s the first time you’ve called me your girlfriend,” I say shyly.

  “It is?” He looks surprised. “Well then, I’m obviously and idiot for not declaring it to the world before now.”

  I laugh at him and turn in his lap to kiss him.

  “Apparently so,” I giggle, pecking his cheek. “So, I’m going to give you your present now, before everyone else,” I tell him, reaching into my back pocket and pulling out his present.

  It took some working with Monica, and with Grams, but Monica said I could dive into my trust fund early. I didn’t even know I had one until she sat down and told me the reason her and Jamie could live the lives they wanted is because their family came from money.

  Trust fund babies she called them, apparently when their parents left, it was all left to them, and one day, it will all be mine. I didn’t ask many questions, I was too busy being shocked, and then super excited that I could do this for him.

  I hand him the A4 envelope and sit back and watch as he pulls the map out of the envelope, along with the note telling him about our trip across the USA; tickets to all sorts of gigs from our favorite bands, a route all planned out across the summer before I head to UT.

  “Is this real?” he asks me, his eyes wide. The look on his face is enough for me to know this was a good idea. He pulls me into his lap and hugs me, before standing and twirling me round.

  “Erin Michaels, you have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. This is beyond perfect, but how can we do this? It costs so much, and Gram’s and Parker will need me over the summer. I don’t know if I can do this – no matter how much I want to,” he says, looking solemn as he puts my feet back on the ground

  “Mason, your heart is so selfless, which is exactly why you deserve this. You do so much for everyone else. Let us do this for you. All of the details are sorted, everything is in place. All we need is you and your Camaro, and we’ll have the best summer of our lives.”

  “I think I might just be falling in love with you Erin Michaels.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “I realize now that when your heart breaks you got to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are and that pain you feel that’s life. The confusion and fear; that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there something is better. That something is worth fighting for.”

  ~Unknown

  I’ve been back from break for two weeks, and this week has been hell. The number of sign-ups for tutoring has increased with finals coming. Between that, studying, and actually being able to see Mason, time has been tight. But, by some miracle, the ceasefire from Tegan and her cronies from before Christmas seems to still be in place, and I’m persona-non-grata.

  I’m walking down the corridor to the study room, where I’m meant to be meeting Mason, when I hear his voice. Its muffled, but wow does he sound angry. I round the corner, and see him in the room with Evan. Yep, he’s angry. Now I’m closer, I can hear them both; it’s still muffled, thanks to the sound proofing on the rooms. I push the door open to see Evan shoving Mason, and failing. We've been back at school one week, and they couldn't last this long.

  “What the hell is going on in here?” I shout.

  Both of their heads swing to me.

  “Nothing Erin, Mason was just leaving.”

  “The hell I was; I’m here waiting for her, dickweed. You need to leave.”

  “Mason fucking Knight – thinks he’s the big man about town now…” Evan growls, trying to get in Mason’s face, but Mason has a good six inches on him.

  “Evan, you need to leave.”

  I hold the door open for him. I never thought I’d see the day when I picked someone over him, but I can’t get over the jerk he’s become since I started hanging out with Mason.

  “Are you kidding me? We’ve been friends forever, Erin and now you’re taking this douche bags side.”

  “You’re damn straight I am, Evan. And since when have we ever actually been friends? I’m trying to get through the rest of this school year and right now you’re getting in the way of that. So, please leave.”

  “Fine,” he huffs, grabbing his bag from the floor.

  That’s when I hear two shots, followed by screams. I freeze as the blood runs from my face. They’re both stood staring at me, frozen, just like me. Seconds tick by and we stand there. Then Mason moves towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the door, closing it quietly, before walking me to the back corner. He motions to Evan to help him lift the table and put it in front of the door. Then they work together to tip another in front of it, barricading us in the room. They duck behind the table with me, one on each side of me while I sit and tremble.

  “Please, tell me I’m imagining this, this can’t be real, right?” I whisper.

  “We’re going to be okay, Erin,” Mason tries to reassure me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

  “Okay? Dude, there is a shooter in the school! This is the shit you see in the news. What part of this is okay!” Evan shouts

  I start to cry.

  “Shut the fuck up, man! We don’t know where the person with the gun is – we don’t know if he just heard you. Fuck!”

  “We need to get out of this room. We’re just sat here like fucking ducks waiting to die.”

  “Yeah, that’s real clever genius; you just go running out there with no idea what’s going on.”

  “Please, both of you. Just stop,” I say, as tears run down my face.

  I don’t know the last time I was this scared. Mason pulls me closer and hugs me tight. For just a second I close my eyes and it’s as if everything is okay. Then I hear another muffled shot. Its louder than the last one. Whoever it is, is getting closer. Evan scrambles up and pulls the table away from the door causing a massive scraping noise.

  “Mason, Scottie is out there somewhere. I just left her by the library.”

  “I’m sure she’s okay, she’s not stupid. She would have gone to a designated safe place as soon as she heard the shots.”

  “You guys can stay here if you want, but I’m out of here,” he yells, his eyes wild with fear before opening the door and darting out.

  “Oh my God; we can’t let him go out there, Mason. We need to get him back here.”

  “Erin, my main focus right now is keeping you safe. However, since he just probably alerted whoever is out there to where we are, keeping you safe means going out there. I’m not going out there to save him. We’re moving to keep you alive. Are you going to be okay?” He murmurs, anger simmering underneath his hushed words.

  I wipe the tears from my face and nod, meeting his eyes. I can do this. I know I can. He takes my hand in his and grabs his bag with the other, putting it over his head so it crosses his chest, leaving his hand free. He puts his finger to his lips reminding me to be quiet before stepping over the table. He lets go of my hand and grabs me by the waist lifting me over it easily, then settling me back on the floor. He takes my hand again, pulling me towards the door. He opens it and ducks his head out. All I hear is deathly silence. I try to steady my breathing as Mason tugs on my hand, making me move with him. We walk hurriedly, but cautiously, down the corridor to the cross of halls in the middle of the school. I never really noticed how big this school was until right now.

  “Come on, this way,” Mason whispers, pulling me left round the corner. We’re heading to the back of the school, towards Coach’s office, and the locker rooms; towards the
back exit of the school and onto the football field.

  We get to the boys’ locker room and Mason drags me in after him, before turning to face me. He looks down at me and squeezes my hand.

  “We’re nearly there now, Erin. You’ll be safe soon.”

  “Safe isn’t exactly what you are,” I hear a voice from behind Mason followed by a laugh that sends a chill down my spine.

  Mason turns and covers me fully with his body, shielding me from everything.

  “Josh? Man, what are you doing?” Mason says, his voice steady. I peek around his arm and see Josh Sanders stood in front of us, gun in hand. His white t-shirt speckled with red. Blood. I start to heave and clasp my hand over my mouth, forcing myself to calm down as Mason sidesteps to protect me again.

  “What am I doing? I’m doing exactly what needs to be done. This school is full of uppity assholes who think they’re better than everyone else. Better than me. They need to learn. They can bleed too, just like me. Just like all of us.”

  “You need to put that gun down. What is this going to do to your dad. He’s the sheriff. This is going to devastate him, Josh.”

  “He needs to understand, too!” Josh yells and I can’t help the squeal that escapes me. “He’s just as bad as the rest of them.”

  “They’re not all bad, Josh.”

  “Don’t say that! Don’t be like them!” I see him start to pace, pulling at his hair.

  “That gun is a glock-22. It carries fifteen in the clip. He’s only fired three times, that means there’s still twelve bullets in the gun, Erin,” Mason whispers to me while Josh paces in front of us, yelling. I don’t question how he knows that, I just accept it. “We need to get out of here.”

  “You’re not going anywhere!” He points the gun at Mason and I grip the back of his jacket.

  “Okay, at least let Erin get out of here? She doesn’t deserve any of this. She’s like you and me.”

  “You’re nothing like me!” Josh spits. “They flock to you; you’ve barely been here ten minutes and they treat you with respect. I’ve been here my entire life, and they act as if I don’t exist. Not anymore! Do you have any idea what it’s like, to have your parents look at you with disappointment, because they know you’re a loser; to see that look in your dad’s eyes, and then again in your moms, right before she leaves for good!”